You know the pressure on us to get married when we reach a certain age? Well I'm at that age now (27 years young).

I'm taking my time cos I don't want to rush in and rush out but at the same time I'm worried that if I'm too cautious I will be single for a long long time.

The truth is I don't see a lot of guys I find attractive perhaps not living in 9ja narrows the pool of eligible men and I am considering moving back because of this.

All ladies currently or have been in my shoes I will be interested in hearing from you. Some questions I have are;

Ladies who were once in my shoes

1. How did you meet Mr right?

2. Did you meet your Mr right here or moved back to 9ja?

3. For ladies who had a job here and moved back did you get a job first or moved back without one?

4. If you got a job first how did you go about it?

5. What are some of the dating mistakes you made?

Ladies in my shoes

1. What are the steps you are thinking about taking?

2. What are some of the dating mistakes you have made in the past?

3. See this as an avenue to purge.

Cheers

Hi. am in my early 20s so am not in ur shoes. i just could not resist posting a reply. A cousin of mine was pressurized by family members into getting married 'cos 'she was not getting any younger'. Now, she is regretting her decision and wants out of the marriage. Her reason? She just found som1 she is compatible with. Plus, her husband is a control freak,a cheat and a liar. I don't think you should listen to any1 but yourself. At least, you know what you want. Marriage is a long term thing gf...please take your time.

Why the pressure? U re still pretty young @ 27!

IMO, there ain't nothing like 'Mr Right' anywhere, u go out there, get urself a nice guy and make him ur 'Mr Right'.

Dating mistakes?
(a) Don't focus on his appearance, appearances are never realities. Look beyond the guy's exterior.
(b) Don't judge ur next relationship with the mindset of ur past one.
(c) There is no time as the present, so if he ain't what u can cope with now, there's no guarantee he wud change when u get married. Berra move on.

Finally, geography has nothing to do with meeting a nice guy, if u can meet him in 9ja, u may as well meet him wherever u are.

Cheers and goodluck!

*Peeping*

¤_¤ peeping
*Offloading my baggages*
*settled*
*clears throat*
Hmm op. 1. Where are you? What country?
2. How pressured are you?
3. Do you have a boyfriend or fiancee?


Answer those. I have come to the thread to stay.

honestly speaking, location plays a vital role in ur chances of meeting great singles. "A one eye man is a king in the land of the blind". With ur level of exposure, relocate to places where u have less compititors and u will hav more attension from the opposite sex than u can ever imagine.

[quote author=DaShyGuy]
Why the pressure? U re still pretty young @ 27!

IMO, there ain't nothing like 'Mr Right' anywhere, u go out there, get urself a nice guy and make him ur 'Mr Right'.

Dating mistakes?
(a) Don't focus on his appearance, appearances are never realities. Look beyond the guy's exterior.
(b) Don't judge ur next relationship with the mindset of ur past one.
(c) There is no time as the present, so if he ain't what u can cope with now, there's no guarantee he wud change when u get married. Berra move on.

Finally, geography has nothing to do with meeting a nice guy, if u can meet him in 9ja, u may as well meet him wherever u are.

Cheers and goodluck![/quote

Yes I agree with you and I try not to be superficial when I meet guys but I still can't help it if the basic attraction just isn't there
@ the poster who asked I'm in the UK, not under direct pressure but aunts etc are asking about wedding dates. I have no bf or fiance either.

I suppose the idea is to act now that I'm still relatively "young" instead of when I hit 30.

Relax, it will come when it will come. Expand ur networking and social horizon. Treat every guy that comes ur way as a potential mate. Buh, be very careful, men are cunning and very deceptive, so, always follow ur head, not not heart. U will get there.

DaShyGuy:
Relax, it will come when it will come. Expand ur networking and social horizon. Treat every guy that comes ur way as a potential mate. Buh, be very careful, men are cunning and very deceptive, so, always follow ur head, not not heart. U will get there.

hey, where went you? so long a time.

@OP
may i ask:
- whose pressure are you on about?
- what about accepting your circumstances? (going back to 9ja to find a man is clearly a desperate move)
- what about adapting to your circumstances? (aka finding a man in your surrounding whether 9ja or not)
- is there really no man around you, or you quickly dismiss them for flimsy excuses?
- how long do you think it will take to find a good man in 9ja? (since you seem to think that they are hanging around every street corners)

dabrake:
hey, where went you? so long a time.

Had an assignment to do offshore, buh am back now. Hope u good?
Cheers!

27 is not too young to get married neither is it too old to also get married. There's a saying "that fishers of men should be wary of the sea they fish" since your desire is marriage you should look for the qualities you desire in a husband in anyone you meet. I mean basic attainable qualities and not those ones we usually dream of. If you can't find such in any man please don't waste your time hanging around and having fun with him when you know he isn't suitable for you.

Also,know that there is no such thing as Mr right. You make a man the right one for you when you decide to accept him just the way he is. Do not also think that single and responsible Nigerian men line our streets. If you decide to relocate because of this alone, you'll simply join the queue of spinsters hustling to get a man. Understand that there are competitors everywhere. Let people around know you are single, go out more, get involved in your church and of course always look your best and don't act desperate. You might meet him anywhere and through anyone. All the best.

darkgemini: You know the pressure on us to get married when we reach a certain age?

Ladies who were once in my shoes

1. How did you meet Mr right?

2. Did you meet your Mr right here or moved back to 9ja?

3. For ladies who had a job here and moved back did you get a job first or moved back without one?

4. If you got a job first how did you go about it?

5. What are some of the dating mistakes you made?


Cheers

Answer
1. Mr right in place of work.

2. Mr right out of Naija.

3. Had a job in Naija, got a job (there) before moving over.

4. Got a job first, resigned from previous job.

5. Hoping that Mr right will be a Naija or in Naija.

My dear, look around you,stop all those wishes that Mr right will be in Nigeria. Try working on keeping yourself happy. I tell you, he will find you. Best luck

And here i am thinking of moving abroad to get a husband,guess i'll have to reconsider.

Interesting thread.
I am in my early twenties and am in no hurry to get married.
I believe when the time is right...you'll find "mr.right". Unless your marriage is to be arranged, dont adhere to any outside pressures. Dont even fall into the "biological clock" crap either. There ate fertile women well pass their thirties and some of whom fell into the trap end up as middle aged baby mamas. So take your time and be patient.

MsDarkSkin: Interesting thread.
I am in my early twenties and am in no hurry to get married.
I believe when the time is right...you'll find "mr.right". Ynless your marriage is to be arranged, dont adhere to any outside pressures. Dont even fall into the "biological clock" crap either. There ate fertile women well pass their thirties and some of whom fell into the trap end up as middle aged baby mamas. So take your time and be patient.

You look too old to be in your early twenties...

But phuck that, I would bleep your massive bum if I ever lay my eyes on you lol.

You need to come to the UK this summer.

[quote author=darkgemini][/quote]
U are 27 in d uk= OLD and CLOCK TICKING!

U waiting till u clock 30 rite? Hmmmmmm......am sorry,guys close to ur age would probably wanna settle for 21yr olds.

Quit telling urself u young, u are NOT!

Idowuogbo:
U are 27 in d uk= OLD and CLOCK TICKING!

U waiting till u clock 30 rite? Hmmmmmm......am sorry,guys close to ur age would probably wanna settle for 21yr olds.
[b][/b]
Quit telling urself u young, u are NOT!

blawd of jisox
That insult is too deep na

Idowuogbo:
U are 27 in d uk= OLD and CLOCK TICKING!

Quit telling urself u young, u are NOT!

I agree, at 27, you shud be in serious relatnshp

neyostica:
I agree, at 27, you shud be in serious relatnshp

such post is the reason why so many of our sistas are settling with donkeys. there is no such thing as "someone should be in a serious r/ship at 27", thats not only a crazy statement but also a very foolish one (no offense to you).

what if she was in a r/ship that just fell through? what if she hasnt found the proper fella? what if she wasnt ready before, due to extensive studies etc? people should ONLY get married when they find the proper person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with, no other reason. people are all different , and expecting everyone to fit a certain standard is wrong, especially when it comes to finding a soulmate.
come on now!

MRbrownJAY:

such post is the reason why so many of our sistas are settling with donkeys. there is no such thing as "someone should be in a serious r/ship at 27", thats not only a crazy statement but also a very foolish one (no offense to you).

what if she was in a r/ship that just fell through? what if she hasnt found the proper fella? what if she wasnt ready before, due to extensive studies etc? people should ONLY get married when they find the proper person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with, no other reason. people are all different , and expecting everyone to fit a certain standard is wrong, especially when it comes to finding a soulmate.
come on now!

Please, tell them ooo. I wonder, i really wonder.
Many thanx dude for this.

Idowuogbo:
U are 27 in d uk= OLD and CLOCK TICKING!

U waiting till u clock 30 rite? Hmmmmmm......am sorry,guys close to ur age would probably wanna settle for 21yr olds.

Quit telling urself u young, u are NOT!

So, because she is 27 and not in a relationship she should go and hug transformer abi? It's pretty obvious from her post that she wants to have a relationship and has asked for your advise! Don't make it sound like she has been waiting for life to pass her by. Your life dosen't begin when you get married and why are Nigerians so obssessed with this get married before 25 by all means mentality?

@ poster, never believe time has passed you by

in your shoes

Ladies in my shoes

1. What are the steps you are thinking about taking?
I just try to be more open to new experiences, perhaps joining certain organizations I haven't thought about before. prayer.

2. What are some of the dating mistakes you have made in the past?
Not taking the relationship seriously. Not making him a priority. Letting someone have too much control.

3. See this as an avenue to purge.
Right now I have a bf but things are iffy. We are long distance, have never told each other "I love you" and I just want to know if he plans on ever marrying me. if he hasn't at least thought about it by now I don't want to continue any further. However, I know a few other good guys its just difficult because I love my bf but I can't tell what the future holds.

Idowuogbo:
U are 27 in d uk= OLD and CLOCK TICKING!

Quit telling urself u young, u are NOT!

She never said she's still young.she was being sarcastic with[i][/i]27yrs young.

neyostica:
I agree, at 27, you shud be in serious relatnshp

she does know she should be in a serious relationship ,that's the reason she came up with this thread if I'm not mistaken.
@OP for one thing ,correct your notion about Mr right cause he does not exist.the best you can get is a real man that can be baked into your mr right .I don't know the standard you have set for your real man apart from the basic ofcourse..but if you feel everyman you meet is lacking in these extra bits,you might need to cut it down a bit..not necessarily settling for less but working with what you can cope with(if you know what I mean)and there are plenty of black guys who are ready to settle down in the UK as much as Nigeria.Pls ,pls don't become too desperate as to take any rash decision.
I wish you all the best.

freecocoa: And here i am thinking of moving abroad to get a husband,guess i'll have to reconsider.

y me:
blawd of jisox
That insult is too deep na

Haba! I wasn't insulting her na, I was only bin blunt and direct.Come on! folks on here telling her she's pretty young wen she's not. Nne, I would say d same if it were u uttering such statement @ dat age. I no u wella, so not need for alarm u still forever young........

^^^^dont mind them, by d time she 35, dey will d one asking ha what she has been doin all dis while.
Op you are not young o, infact all ur mates don born finish

Rotmyt:

So, because she is 27 and not in a relationship she should go and hug transformer abi? It's pretty obvious from her post that she wants to have a relationship and has asked for your advise! Don't make it sound like she has been waiting for life to pass her by. Your life dosen't begin when you get married and why are Nigerians so obssessed with this get married before 25 by all means mentality?

@ poster, never believe time has passed you by

Cool down! I haven't told her to go hug anything now have I? Like I said earlier,27 ain't young so she should get dat out of her head and start working on herself.Dat said, i am not implying she should be out desperate to get hooked, she just needs to get her head screwed on and also be extremely cautious.I mean some 27yr olds are still out dere playing hard to get cus dey feel some customised husband is waiting to pick dem up.I am not certain dis is not d case of the poster sha.But! if she feels she's young den oh well shes entitled to her own opinions.

neyostica: ^^^^dont mind them, by d time she 35, dey will d one asking ha what she has been doin all dis while.
Op you are not young o, infact all ur mates don born finish

or better yet, by the time she is divorced with a child from her donkey husband (or end up in hospital from the constant beating) you guys will be coming here asking her why she married this evil person. lol!

^^^^even if she takes her time, there is no guarantee she wudnt marry a donkey, dnt u think

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@OP

My dear I am in ur shoes( or I was until I gave myself a serious talking-to). My pressure started at 26 and I bcam despearte, not until I met a guy. I was in ahurry to settle down and since that's also his plans I agreed to date him, even though I didn't really fancy him all that much.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, he turned out to be very bad and treated mebadly, with all the love I showed him. Now my desperation has cleared and I'm in no hurry to settle down.

A lot of guys feel women are desperate to marry and that men are few so they dnt work on themselves. They come with bad habits and nasty attitudes, beating women, cheating and what have you and we women are supposed to accpt it all and still be greatful we have a man because " husband no dey mkt".

I bliv in waiting for God's time now.