I know this is an age long question, but only if u r married for 5 yrs and above will ur answer matter. Plsss singles don't contribute unless widowed or divorced.

I want to make choice of a really good spouse. Considering that our backgrounds are the same, I hv some litle issues.

Does a man hv to be born again to be a good husband?
Does a non smoker and non drinker mean good man?

And he is really nice and has good morals

^^ Tolerance, friendship, comfortability, communication, caring, loving, understanding, and he must be attracted to you..

Being religious is overrated, you don't need to be religious to be good... As long as he believes in God, that's the most important thing..

And smoking (cigarette) doesn't define a good man, it's a just a lifestyle for some people..

Choose wisely,

Bittyend of Narnia.

Thanks Bitty love. This is the first nice post I am seeing from u. Pls I prefer the jokes.

But Bitty u r not married. I said no singles shd reply.

kitty kat: Thanks Bitty love. This is the first nice post I am seeing from u. Pls I prefer the jokes.
But Bitty u r not married. I said no singles shd reply.

How do you mean, you prefer the jokes?

I'm human, and sometimes I have to vacate this narcissistic Bittyend facade, and act normal.

kitty kat: Thanks Bitty love. This is the first nice post I am seeing from u. Pls I prefer the jokes.

But Bitty u r not married. I said no singles shd reply.

you are kidding aiit? Cos, I doubt you realise that the number of married people here on NL are in the minimum. You think married peeps will have time to be lounging on nairaland(imho). Keep waiting for reply's from maried peeps and whoever told you married peeps have a monopoly of sensible response. You go wait tire.

Ensure ur mr right has d fear of God,because human love is transient,a man can love u today n get tired of loving u and love someone tomorow,but its only d fear of god dat kips him comited and faithful to u.moreover men are moved by what dey see,u might not be as physically sexy as u used to be ten yrs in marriage from now and a hottie might b his secretary,neighbour or anyone to him,but d fear of God in his heart will ignite d love for his wife but dis days many ladies think a guy takin u out,buying bb for u and kneeling down to propose means he will love u for life or he'll keep on being romantic.by d way when i mean a man having d fear of God,i dont just mean a church goer,an over spiritual broda dat has no interpersonal relationship skills, or a sunday school pastor.any man can be dis yet cheat on his wife,i mean someone that is genuinely born again and u know without a shadow of doubt hundred percent dat he is born again because d type of guys we av dis days require dat a lady b educationaly,spiritualy,,socialy,domestically and economically sound and mature before sayin i do,of course coupled wit all d factors i listed here.if i must b sincere wit u,many women no longer marry dia father,friend and broda,dey marry house mates,assaulters and sex mates,forget d uniform dey call aso ebi dey wear outside or d fronts dat ppu put up outside,its just make belief.dia homes r in disarray

99.9% of Nigerian men are not good husbands.
Ask another question

@ Op jenny has said it all !!! Above all before you settle down make sure I repeat make sure you settle down with someone that is driven by the things of God. Don't marry someone that is driven by the things of the world like, partying, clubbing, drinking, have many single friends, staying late at night, have divorce problem in their family, have many girl friends, always brag to his friend over any little achievement he made etc. Please any man that posse any of this can't and will never change even after marriage. You can't change someone.

When I said a man that is driven by the things of God I'm talking of someone that even during courtship will always tell you honey please we can't miss this bible study, we can't miss sunday service and opposite of all the qualities I listed for the things of the world.

If a man has a little fear of God in him, he will always be afraid to divorce you because he knows what the bible says about divorce. This is also applicable to what makes a good choice of wife.

I think asking singles to avoid contributing to the topic is unfair.

There are so many singles who can give valid advise about pre-marital relationships. . .because you guys sure dated before considering marriage, right?

Anyways whatever rocks your boat!

@OP

Whatever you have heard before is false if it does not include the following:
A good husband is one who loves his familly. Who provides enough material goods ( cash mainly) to keep his familly in comfort. Who respects his wife enough to hide his affairs from her and makes sure not to get infected with any crappy shit. Who thinks of his familly first before himself.

If you get a man like this hold on to him like white on rice.

@ johndoe, op. All you listed are part of the qualities of a good husband. That's in marriage when you guys are married already. OP is trying to know the qualities you can see in a guy in relationship or courtship for you to know that he will make a good husband in marriage ok. Pls understand a question first b4 you answer, can see you are single.

If you are born again, then it is vital that your potential husband be born again too, so you can operate on the same wavelength. This is critical or you will have problems later on. If he is then second question is answered already.

I am soo sorry singles. The reason I don't want u to contibute is cos theory is different from practical. I know d theory but I want ppl who have tasted the theories and now know what works.

Thanks Obasi, Kulyle for ur contribution.

obasijoy: @ johndoe, op. All you listed are part of the qualities of a good husband. That's in marriage when you guys are married already. OP is trying to know the qualities you can see in a guy in relationship or courtship for you to know that he will make a good husband in marriage ok. Pls understand a question first b4 you answer, can see you are single.

Clap for yourself. I have noticed you.

@ op you cant know.It only takes faith.Many things in life requires faith.So if you are looking for a sign,remember what Christ said.

jennykadry: 99.9% of Nigerian men are not good husbands.
Ask another question

This is like saying 99.999999999999999999999999999% of Nigerian women marry men they do not love.

I fear the average Nigerian religious guy.The number of male prostitutes in Naija churches is scaring...lol..sorry,just saying.I will go for anyone that will give me peace and add value to my life as long as we have similar values..

I will give you some tips. First thing is that there is not standard answer. What makes a good husband depends on who the wife is so what you want may be different from what your sister wants. I have been married for over six years and I can tell you the most important thing is friendship. Please marry your friend.

If you marry your friend, it will be easier to communicate and you would find it more easy to accept and forgive each other. I know many people will say you should marry a God fearing man, but why would you marry a God fearing man if you are not God fearing youself? That could lead to problems.

Please marry your friend, someone whose company you enjoy, someone you find presentable, someone you like talking to. It makes it a lot easier loving the person and him loving you back. A proverb says that two enemies cannot share ten plots of land without quarelling, but two friends can share a plot of land peacefully. My point is that friendship is the principal thing and not material things. If you are a responsible woman, please marry a responsible man who you can build your lives together financially, even if things are tough in the beginning.

And lastly, good friendship will likely result in good sex life too, because you will find it easy to communicate exactly what you want. Thats why our elders pray that "e se ore ara yin" Amen!

Loving this Nashville

Nashville: I will give you some tips. First thing is that there is not standard answer. What makes a good husband depends on who the wife is so what you want may be different from what your sister wants. I have been married for over six years and I can tell you the most important thing is friendship. Please marry your friend.

If you marry your friend, it will be easier to communicate and you would find it more easy to accept and forgive each other. I know many people will say you should marry a God fearing man, but why would you marry a God fearing man if you are not God fearing youself? That could lead to problems.

Please marry your friend, someone whose company you enjoy, someone you find presentable, someone you like talking to. It makes it a lot easier loving the person and him loving you back. A proverb says that two enemies cannot share ten plots of land without quarelling, but two friends can share a plot of land peacefully. My point is that friendship is the principal thing and not material things. If you are a responsible woman, please marry a responsible man who you can build your lives together financially, even if things are tough in the beginning.

And lastly, good friendship will likely result in good sex life too, because you will find it easy to communicate exactly what you want. Thats why our elders pray that "e se ore ara yin" Amen!

True.

Question: What makes a good choice of husband?
Answer: Yourself being a virtuous woman!

Being religious and non smoking makes a man good or a good husband material
I've never heard of a more ridiculous and sillly assertion!

All men are good husband material. It is women who keep a home together or let it fall apart. The real question is are any of the posters here worth having in a home? Also what to look for in a woman that will point to the fact that she is the type to build a home.

Prime007: All men are good husband material. It is women who keep a home together or let it fall apart. The real question is are any of the posters here worth having in a home? Also what to look for in a woman that will point to the fact that she is the type to build a home.

Best reply!!

Nashville: I will give you some tips. First thing is that there is not standard answer. What makes a good husband depends on who the wife is so what you want may be different from what your sister wants. I have been married for over six years and I can tell you the most important thing is friendship. Please marry your friend.

If you marry your friend, it will be easier to communicate and you would find it more easy to accept and forgive each other. I know many people will say you should marry a God fearing man, but why would you marry a God fearing man if you are not God fearing youself? That could lead to problems.

Please marry your friend, someone whose company you enjoy, someone you find presentable, someone you like talking to. It makes it a lot easier loving the person and him loving you back. A proverb says that two enemies cannot share ten plots of land without quarelling, but two friends can share a plot of land peacefully. My point is that friendship is the principal thing and not material things. If you are a responsible woman, please marry a responsible man who you can build your lives together financially, even if things are tough in the beginning.

And lastly, good friendship will likely result in good sex life too, because you will find it easy to communicate exactly what you want. Thats why our elders pray that "e se ore ara yin" Amen!

Brilliant expository on having the three-in-one mentality of Best Friend/Hubby/Daddy rolled into one, so that when "one" has an human moment and fails, you have the "others" to fail back on. . .

@ OP

Being born again does not a good man make, but it helps kicks one's conscience and good morals into being from time to time.

With regards to smoking and drinking, it is not bad on a social level, but when the need to smoke or drink implores taking dearest Husband outta the matrimonial setting to hang out with his friends instead of spending quality time at home, then that's a no no in my books, and we would have to set up a short time plan to quit these unpalatable vices.

Busy_body:

Brilliant expository on having the three-in-one mentality of Best Friend/Hubby/Daddy rolled into one, so that when "one" has an human moment and fails, you have the "others" to fail back on. . .

@ OP

Being born again does not a good man make, but it helps kicks one's conscience and good morals into being from time to time.

With regards to smoking and drinking, it is not bad on a social level, but when the need to smoke or drink implores taking dearest Husband outta the matrimonial setting to hang out with his friends instead of spending quality time at home, then that's a no no in my books, and we would have to set up a short time plan to quit these unpalatable vices.

I agree with you, however my point is that water finds its level. I am born again and I once dated a girl who was not truly converted. She just came to church because she thought that was where the good guys were. Point is that we didn't gel and had little in common. I was a bad husband material for her. She probably found me to be a bit boring. She really didn't need a born again guy. But with my wife everything was different because we were friends. We did lots of stuff together and had lots of fun.

Even if a man smokes does not disqualify him. There are women that also smoke and they can do it together. They can drink together, smoke together as long as they do it responsibly. My point again is marry your friend. the qualities we desire in friends are different for each person. marry someone you can appreciate and you relate with and vice versa.

^^^

Still doesn't mean you would not fall out occassionally, its just that the make up would not be as intense as if you are not friends as well.


Huh women smoking and drinking, even my very liberal self is would balk at that height of irresponsibility, yikes.

@ Op,i av seen many men pretend because of what they want..christains and non christains just pray God,brings the 1 that will luv and respect u

true talk

Johndoe100:


Clap for yourself. I have noticed you.