What Should I Have Done? - Romance - Nairaland
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| What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 3:05am On Jun 09, 2012 |
I had a funny experience yesterday. Never experienced such before. I want to give the details and i want you to criticize me and tell me where i went wrong or could have done better. I was with my gf in her friends house and some people were calling her to come and see them,in her house ,i was suspicious and i carried her there and it was her ex bf. According to her he started cheating on her after he bought a car and she cut the r/ship ,this was about 7 months ago,before i came into the scene. The guy has been wanting to come back but the girl refused . So today he came with a friend . Though we didn't met the friend when we came. My girl pleaded that i should give her time to talk with her ex. I gave her thirty minutes and they went out and stayed almost 4hrs and when they came back to her house around 12 a.m. The guy refuse to goto his house that their gate would have been locked by then. And refused that the girl will follow me home.the person my girl is staying with ,only her boy of about thirteen year is around and is a heavy sleeper and didn't wake to open the door for her. So we have to keep a wake keep at their passage till around 2 a.m when i left to goto my house and sleep so that i can goto work today. My girl has told the guy that she is now with me.the guy said that that should be from tomorrow that this night he will not respect that. I have gone over the incidents in my head trying to see how i could have done better. May be i should have asserted myself more. If i had known initially before leaving her friends house that it was to see her ex, i would not have allowed her . But the deed is done . Has any experienced such before and how did you handle it. My r/ship with the girl is about 3 months old and all three of us are in our late twenties. Will they do anything behind my back . According to my girl he wanted her to follow him home but she refused.what would you have done in my shoes ? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Henyholarh(m): 4:52am On Jun 09, 2012 |
That damn nigga might have planned it with your gf before and plan to play you off in as much you dont know what they discussed when they went outside. After you left them to have your rest that guy might have get your gurl liad for *** you know gurls are sometimes stupid wid their act |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Goldieluks: 5:15am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Maybe she's still in love with her ex.... be vigilant. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Nobody: 5:24am On Jun 09, 2012 |
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| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 6:42am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Goldieluks: Maybe she's still in love with her ex.... be vigilant.then,she should tell me ,don't believe in fighting for or over a woman who can make her own choice. But that is not the case, i have seen the texts that he has been sending her. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Lagusta(m): 6:56am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Hmmmm, GIRRLSSSS!!! That ur gf is not trustworthy. I m not GOD or a judge, but after what i read, i just shake my head in dismay. Thank GOD the relationship is just 3mths, u can get a better girl. P.S: some pple will say its nt d girl's fault, but 2 me, u guyz shld hav left after d 30mins talk, y did she stay  |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Nobody: 7:05am On Jun 09, 2012 |
@op try n 4get dat ur chick, tnk God is jst 3mnths old. Bcoz since d ex is in d picture she might b considerin her self goin bke 2him. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 7:06am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Lagusta: Hmmmm, GIRRLSSSS!!!the man refused to allow her leave or even leave himself and she constantly on the phone through that time ,i had to go and come back later and yet the man followed her home and refused to go. I am thinking of whether the man has spend my money on her that he can't forget. One of the reasons that i won't spend anyhow on any of my gf so that i won't regret. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by xyloxloto(m): 7:56am On Jun 09, 2012 |
watch that your girl carefully before you become MUGU FOR LOVE |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by cindyrella(f): 8:47am On Jun 09, 2012 |
She still has feelings for her ex. So do something before something do you oh  |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Lagusta(m): 8:51am On Jun 09, 2012 |
IZUKWU: the man refused to allow her leave or even leave himself and she constantly on the phone through that time ,i had to go and come back later and yet the man followed her home and refused to go. I am thinking of whether the man has spend my money on her that he can't forget. One of the reasons that i won't spend anyhow on any of my gf so that i won't regret. girls r neva to be trusted! The only women u can trust are ur mom, sister and wife. The wife gaaan sef, e get comma |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Scash(f): 8:59am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Na wa. Did u ask what she was discussin wt d guy 4 hrs. I didn't really understand the story... Were you at her place throughout? Or wat? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 10:14am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Scash: Na wa. Did u ask what she was discussin wt d guy 4 hrs. I didn't really understand the story... Were you at her place throughout? Or wat?that he wants to come back to her and she has told him no many times including this morning.and that she is with me and he wouldn't let leave.and they went out to a drinking joint. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Rocktation(f): 10:28am On Jun 09, 2012 |
What kind of drinking and talking was all that sef? Ahn ahn. You sef, being the master of civility that you are, you let him decide and tell you when your position in her life will become effective. Na wa oo. Anyway, like you said, the deed is done already. Next time, if you can stop her from going, do so. If everything wasn't so shady from the start, she wouldn't have just said the call was from friends but her ex. Platonic friendships after intimate ones are almost always bull. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Nobody: 10:39am On Jun 09, 2012 |
She was never yours. . . You are just a rebound boyfriend. Walk away with your self respect and self esteem intact. I remember warning you about this girl few days to valentine's day, when you started a thread about her. Then, you were sounding overconfident about how you were gonna handle her. I shook my head and left you. Now the chicken has come home to roost. If you like, continue in this mirage of a relationship, while this girl and her boyfriend will be playing tennis with your heart as the ball. . . Watch out for them in the grand slam. . . They gonna smash your heart to pieces. . . If you like no hear. . . Wetin concern me? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by slimyem: 10:56am On Jun 09, 2012 |
op,i'm expecting another thread from you soon titled...she went back to her ex and broke my heart. i'll be here to read and laugh! |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Dagods(m): 11:35am On Jun 09, 2012 |
slimyem: op,i'm expecting another thread from you soon titled...she went back to her ex and broke my heart.wao'u r in da, club,dis is awesome lik da "miz" will say.am sorry am out of idea, but i wil sure borrow from our darling slimfem"WE WILL SURELY READ DAT POST :- MY GF OF 3MONTH WENT BACK 2 HER EX.."cos a girl dat was giving 30mins & she squash 4hrs, wil one day plead for 24hrs,,only God knows how many years 24 hrs is going 2 be in her calender".o boy hold urside try dis my sugestion 1.TRY; next costumer may be dat one fit stay.or 2.JOIN; me in da transfer"oh sorry "****"market 3.TRY; out d following :- (A).ONILA. (B).SLIMFEM. (C).IJEBABE. (D). DAT UR BABE WEY U DO HIT & RUN TEY-TEY. Gudluck. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by kay9(m): 11:40am On Jun 09, 2012 |
@Op, So after magically transforming 30mins into 4hrs, your gf still prefered staying in an almost empty house with her ex, instead of going home with you, right? And you're still here wondering what to do? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by kpolli(m): 11:40am On Jun 09, 2012 |
am confused, pls someone shud explain |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by Nobody: 11:41am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Dagods:Fixed. . .  |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by childluck(m): 12:14pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
@OP, Simply put "She ain't your babe no more coz she's gone back to her vomit" You were just filling the void. You acted all right by not dragging anything with the old bf. I would not blame the old bf though to still want his package back. It was your babe who brought the insult upon you. Just leave her and hold your respect b4 she brings the bad news. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 1:33pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
cindyrella: She still has feelings for her ex. So do something before something do you ohhow? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 1:40pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
sexkillz: She was never yours. . . You are just a rebound boyfriend. Walk away with your self respect and self esteem intact. I remember warning you about this girl few days to valentine's day, when you started a thread about her. Then, you were sounding overconfident about how you were gonna handle her. I shook my head and left you. Now the chicken has come home to roost. If you like, continue in this mirage of a relationship, while this girl and her boyfriend will be playing tennis with your heart as the ball. . . Watch out for them in the grand slam. . . They gonna smash your heart to pieces. . . If you like no hear. . . Wetin concern me?kills, it is not the same girl. This is a different chick. For that i found out she was looking for who will subsidize her education. I run though we enjoyed the val period. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 1:44pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
slimyem: op,i'm expecting another thread from you soon titled...she went back to her ex and broke my heart.not to worry ,i will bring feedback . After how many months do you want it? |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by ijebabe: 1:57pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
I can only assume and present a different angle from the other posts here. She's been broken up with this guy for 7 months and didn't go back to him before you came in the picture, doesn't that tell you something? This guy may have been her first love and therefore it won't be easy to not feel anything for him. She may be trying to move on but he's not letting her to. She's only human and I think right now she is thinking about making the right choice. Does she go back to her ex who she's been with longer or does she move on with this guy of 3 months? The guy obviously feels she's still his and doesn't give a shit about you. He wants to break u guys up and get his girl back. He must have realised she's the one and is doing all he can to win her. You have to decide what you role in this is. Do you really want her or do you want to give her up and let her ex have her? The best thing, i feel, is to talk to her at length and openly about what's going on and demand she be honest with you because you won't be taken for a fool in this relationship. If she's undecisive then maybe give urselves a break for a few weeks or so for her to decide. I dunno if the break is a good idea but it might put some perspective in the situation. Good luck! 1 Like |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 2:04pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
Anyways whatever happens will not be new under the sun and i will survive it. I respect the girl. Despite her history .she is good. Taught me the difference btw a girl and a woman.she is a survivor.this morning she came to my house around 6a.m and she told some tales that moved my heart.she told me when we started going out in march that she has a daughter ,who she said is her joy though she stays with married younger sister in benue. She has told me a number of times that she is not interested in getting married or having another child and i held my peace because am not ready for that even now. But what i didn't know is that she is an orphan and had her child when she was just 14.it has been just her and the relatives of the step father or step mother . She ran away from their maltreatment @ 14 and the man who harboured her put her in the family way. Her story makes want to hold her and wipe away her tears. But if i notice she has to make a choice btw me and her ex . I will make the choice for her. Never believed in fighting for a woman or for her love. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 2:36pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
I first met this girl around january last year. One sunday evening i was driving along the road and i saw this damsel standing by the roadside waiting for a bike ,so i turned and stopped in her front ,took her to where she was going and we exchanged numbers and introduced our selves.after some exchange of call ,i invited her out and she told me where to pick her and when i reached there she was with a friend and i was told her it is only her that am taking out but she insisted that her friend come along (i hate when ladies pull that trick) ,so we parted ways we do see on the road and greet even after that incident and exchange calls .fast forward this march. Another sunday evening ,i was feeling very lonely and i called her up ,she have me direction to where she is staying now,we meet talked and went out. Later i took her to my house and from there took her back to her house .nothing happened. The next weekend i took her out again but this time to my house straight. She stayed over ,i told her what's in my mind and she agreed and we ve been a couple since then. So what am realizing now is that that first time she was with this man and according to her since may 2010 and when i called her in march they were no longer together. She caught him cheating in november and quit the r/ship . They get back in e feb. 2012 and it didn't work out before she accepted me ,this march. From what she told me ,the man has helped her and she loved him and probably still does to some extent. But she can't trust him again. These are matters of the heart, i love her but i want her happiness and will obey her wish. The man obviously is more bouyant than me and has carried some of her financial burdens .which i can't bear . I just finished serving in 2010. And still looking for my stand and its not time to carry any woman's burden as my own. Though she is a tailor has her own shop with people working for her. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 2:46pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
I first met[color=#990000][/color] |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by childluck(m): 3:07pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
IZUKWU. I dey enjoy this your love story o! With the much you have added to the story now I think you're having a clear picture of where you stand in the drama. "She came to your house @6am to tell you some stories about her life which you didn't know b4 (and maybe for some early AM slamming too right?)" After the story and all, what is the bottom-line na? She wants to stay with you or go back to her ex? I think she thinks she owe the ex a lot of gratitude in any way! |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 3:14pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
ijebabe: I can only assume and present a different angle from the other posts here.yeah ! You got the picture all right but they got back around feb. But it didn't work out. His anger last night while i came along. I guess i have to look after my interest. though i promised her before we came to see them to be civil and hold my peace. But when i look back i felt like i was weak. Well it was quite an experience. I kept laughing throughout the wake keep.couldn't believe myself.when she came this morning i couldn't help laughing. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by IZUKWU(m): 3:26pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
childluck: IZUKWU. I dey enjoy this your love story o! With the much you have added to the story now I think you're having a clear picture of where you stand in the drama. "She came to your house @6am to tell you some stories about her life which you didn't know b4 (and maybe for some early AM slamming too right?)" After the story and all, what is the bottom-line na? She wants to stay with you or go back to her ex? I think she thinks she owe the ex a lot of gratitude in any way!i don't think she wants to do that.she seems tired of the man and his antics and so her friends. From the little i saw of him ,i was not impressed . So arrogant and full of himself. He told the girl if she will not have him ,that he will destroy our r/ship. So am waiting to hear what he have to say and for sure they have a history and my ears are itching. |
| Re: What Should I Have Done? by ijebabe: 3:31pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
IZUKWU: yeah ! You got the picture all right but they got back around feb. But it didn't work out. His anger last night while i came along. I guess i have to look after my interest. though i promised her before we came to see them to be civil and hold my peace. But when i look back i felt like i was weak. Well it was quite an experience. I kept laughing throughout the wake keep.couldn't believe myself.when she came this morning i couldn't help laughing.You did nothing wrong by maintaining your calm. What would you gain exchanging words with him? She needs to stop stringing you both and decide. She does have quite a past and its a good sign that you told you all of this because she cares and is trying to do the right thing. The question is, what will she end up deciding? You really care and love her and you owe it to yourself to try your best before calling it quits with her. Not at the expense of your life though but show her you're there for her. You haven't lost anything loving her. |
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