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My Neighbor's Daughter Sent This To Me!... Please Am Confused On What To Do / I'm So Heartbroken And Confused; Need Help!! / Confused........ Experienced People Should Help (2) (3) (4)
Confused by Nobody: 12:28pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
My dear brothers and sisters. I am at a cross road. What do i do?. My marriage is suffering a major setback and my wife doesnt seem to care about what might happen to us next. We have always had issues just like many other marriages, but for us its very obvious that we can no longer tolerate each other. God has been so good to us, blessing us with 4 healthy children. Financially we are not ok, we are just managing and she is no longer ready to manage with me. She has been with her parents for over a year now with our children. And i occasionally go to visit them. The main problem now is that another woman is pregnant for me. I love her but she is marraiad. Her husband is in Malaysia and things are very rocky between them. They had their traditional wedding and white wedding as well. The lady made me to understand that her bride price was never paid. How is that possible?. I have made attempt to meet her own parents so as to know our fate but she said i should leave that to her. We are both igbos, is this really possible?. If it is, do we have the right to get married?. should i go against her will.and reach her parents now?. Please advice me without insulting my person. Regards. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 12:41pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
With that emoticon at the end? Doubt you're really confused. 1 Like |
Re: Confused by Innomama7(m): 1:26pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
greedy follow greedy follow 2 Likes |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 4:36pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
That emoticon was a total mistake. I swear, i dont really know what to do now. Please if there is anyone with a perfect or near perfect solution share with me. 1 Like |
Re: Confused by Tonyprisca: 4:58pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Lies everywhere 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 5:07pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Someone commented and said lies everywhere. Most everyone be a lier?. My wife has already seen this post and she knows am the one who posted it. But that is not my problem for now. |
Re: Confused by brian750: 8:33pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
WOWU! This is serious but let me say this, obviously you are ready to move on with this new lady you impregnated. So, let's put the issue of your wife and children aside cos obviously, you are not balanced to be a financial -father or husband to them for now. However, follow the lead of this new lady and don't make her do things she doesn't want to do. If you are willing to meet her parents and face the consequences you need to be sure she is ready for the same, therefore be calm and don't rush things. Both of you are married so either ways, both have alot to loose at the end of the day. 2 Likes |
Re: Confused by midnighter(f): 8:48pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
You have to find out why she's trying to stop you from meeting her parents. That is the key She's pregnant for you while still married to another dude...you impregnated her while still married..you guys have to arrange yourselves But I dont know why she would be delaying since you have already indicated that you are ready to pay her bride price Find out why she's avoiding your meeting her parents because it doesnt make sense But this one the first one wasnt ready to manage with you, is this one ready? Maybe she doesnt want her parents to complain that she is leaving the (maybe wealthier) husband for someone who is not financially buoyant And to answer your question, its possible for the bride price to not have been paid fully if all rites have not been observed properly due to disorganisation or a quarrel between parties 1 Like |
Re: Confused by Mstick: 9:01pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
A married man that can't take care of his wife and FOUR KIDS still impregnated another married woman. Am just here to read comments that will blame the wife and paint OP as a great guy. 2 Likes |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Mstick:It's more complicated than it looks dear Mstick. |
Re: Confused by LadySarah: 9:54pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
When a woman reacts nw,they will say Watch warroom. You have been managing.Your wife left with ur kids.Since You know it was As a result of financial instability You should have focused on making money to bring ur family home. But No,You got another woman pregnant.Like really |
Re: Confused by Diamond23(f): 10:13pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Nwanna, ichocha onye I-ga edina oburu nwanyi no na di. Odikwarisky. Y not sort out ur differences with ur wife instead of laying nd impregnating another man’s wife?i believe she must be d one dat sort for advise on a Facebook platform dat she z preggy for another man y her hubby lives abroad . Besides dz ur story looks incomplete |
Re: Confused by Diamond23(f): 10:21pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Seesam:W :oW... She z also a Nlander |
Re: Confused by faithfull18(f): 10:35pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Lol, we are also confused on your behalf. 2 Likes |
Re: Confused by Oreofepeters: 10:36pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
midnighter:You are always on every thread................... Seems local girl is addicted to nairaland ? 1 Like |
Re: Confused by midnighter(f): 10:40pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Oreofepeters: I have a wide range of interests...do my posts bother you? |
Re: Confused by Oreofepeters: 10:54pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
midnighter:Yes it bothers me somehow, most of your post reeks controversy |
Re: Confused by midnighter(f): 10:57pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Oreofepeters: What! give me an example. I write things any other person would write...not controversial at all. That one up there you just quoted, what is unusual about it? By the way local man you must be addicted to Nairaland yourself, or how do you see my irritating posts? |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 11:03pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
A married woman? We are trying to fix the morally bankrupt situation in the country, yet you commit adultery with a married woman ? We are trying to check the population explosion that is hindering Nigeria's economic progress, yet you impregnated another woman when you have not been able to take care of 4 that you already have ? You are a burden to Nigeria as whole. 2 Likes |
Re: Confused by johnwell(m): 5:49am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Mogambo123: If I fall from my beg because of laughter I will not forgive you. |
Re: Confused by johnwell(m): 5:52am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Seesam: What? Bros you don't deserve any atom of respect again. You deserve castration immediately. According to Mogambo123, stop increasing the problem of this dilapidated nation. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 7:22am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Mogambo123: I am beginning to wonder if all this is natural. I cant really tell how things got this bad. |
Re: Confused by Omar09(m): 9:18am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Seesam: I don't know the kind of Nollywood movie people act in real life. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 12:15pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
You can't care for 4 kids and you go out to have more kids? Are you cursed? And with a married woman at that. What exactly do you want? Should she divorce her husband and become your second wife? Or will both of you divorce your spouse and then marry each other? What exactly is your plan? My brother, better carry your bags and use night bus to run to another country because you are a goner. |
Re: Confused by iamgprince: 1:07pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
oga the best thing 4 u to do now is to meet the pregnant married woman and know what you guys want ie if you both are going to marry each other or not and also know what you are gonna do about the unborn child with the husband included in the issue to avoid further complications because a man won't just sit and watch anoda man Impregnate the wife and do nothing. Again for your wife you both should know exactly where you guys are heading to ie if she doesn't want to stay with you again or she still want the marriage to work but financial incapability is making her to think otherwise. Now when you are done with the two women and see how things will go and you are still confused let us know. But if i were you i will go hustle make i take care of my wife and 4 kids than impregnating married women |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 8:18pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
iamgprince: Thanks bro. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 8:32pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
Gaggi: Bro you spoke from your heart i believe. But your words are very hard. Do you think you cant possibly find yourself someday in a worse situation?. When you are not sure if you are dreaming or not. About my children, they have never lacked anything good that i we could afford as parents. But 2018/19 has been wonderful. As for the lady, i was helping her manage a small company that i helped her.set up ealier this year. That was how we became close. This is how i have been.managing since then. I never intended this going beyond official work but then we started dating and it was like i had my family back. She was a good kind person. Why are my explaining all this?. Its to bring clarity to this complex situation at hand and moreover anyone can be a victim of a the same or even worse situation. My wife is a good woman and i know i took the wrong step to balance the imbalance created by her absence. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 8:34pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
Omar09: Sincerely am.ashamed of.my.conduct. |
Re: Confused by iRepNaija1: 8:51pm On Oct 31, 2019 |
Seesam: Just from reading this response here, it sounds like you have emotionally left your wife, OP. You spent three paragraphs gushing about this other woman. Prior to her getting pregnant, I would wager that you'd would've preferred things to stay as they were: your wife away from you and with the kids, you visiting them occasionally, you being intimate with this other woman, everyone in their place. You can resolve this but I feel like you don't want to face the consequences of your choices. Consider the following: 1) Tell your wife what you did. You need to come clean and just end the marriage. What's the point of it if you've already emotionally left your wife and the only thing you can say about her is that "she's a good woman?" 2) Spend more time with your kids. Occasionally seeing them is not enough. Your children need to know that you're a constant presence in their lives. That means having them stay with you for at least a week so you can make school runs, help them with their homework, encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, teach them how to be self-sufficient (cleaning, cooking, budgeting, doing chores, making small money). Giving them money for upkeep is NOT ENOUGH. Your duties as a father don't stop there. 3) Why did you put money toward this woman's small company? Don't you have kids to mind? Doesn't she have a husband? 4) Since she is pregnant now, A) either she keeps the baby and you go away, B) either you take the baby and go away, c) both of you put the child up for adoption, or d) both of you come clean to your spouses, divorce your spouses, and officially come together as a couple (and eventually a family). 5) Start wearing condoms. Better yet, get a vasectomy. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 12:29pm On Nov 01, 2019 |
Seesam:So what exactly is your plan now? What do you want us to say? I suggested 2 options. Both of you should divorce your spouse and get together or she should divorce her husband and you marry her as a second wife. You were shagging another man's wife and you were even doing it unprotected, na wa for you o oga. You should be talking to a priest or counselor and not on nairaland trying to justify yourself. Anyway, this is your cup of tea, better drink it. We have better things to do with our time. |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 12:38pm On Nov 01, 2019 |
Seesam:Yes blame it on the village people . They are the cause of your lack of self-control and discipline including your lack of moral standard. Very Unnatural! |
Re: Confused by Nobody: 5:16pm On Nov 01, 2019 |
Ariza: Am not bleaming anyone. Even though am completely ashamed of what i have become. Am just tired of fighting these thoughts. I have no clear picture of tomorrow. She just told me today that its a set of twins. Am like a poliot in a lost space ship without fuel. The last time i tried talking to my pastor he endded up using it as a message on a.sunday. Am tired God knows i am. I might just have to pull the plug. Am so consumed with fear. 1 Like |
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