chucky234: If you truly love him then mourn him forever,till your dying day because that's what true love stands for..
You can move on with your live and attend to your every needs but always have in place in your for him,always.
.
Recently a dog was discovered to have spent the last six years sitting beside its dead master's grave watching over him,that's a good example of how a loved one should be mourn.

So, you are comparing a canine/dog to a woman who after a while will go into menopause and will not be able to conceive again? It's amazing the way some Nigerians reason and how wicked some of you are. If she were a man, will you give her the same advise? When a Nigerian man loses his wife, 6 months later and he is already dating again or even married and no one bats an eyelid. However, when it is a Nigerian woman, you people expect her to mourn the late husband forever to prove she loves him.

In that case, I can confidently say that most Nigerian men who have lost their wives to the cold hands of death did not truly love their wives because most Nigerian widowers cannot even mourn their late wives for 6 months much less for the rest of their lives. You heard Kemtol say she is a young woman (probably in her 20s). So all because she unknowingly married a man with a short life span, she should now stay single for the rest of life and not give her little son a chance of having a baby brother or sister in the near future. Is that what you are telling her? The last time I checked, the marital vows said "till death do us part" which means once a spouse has passed away and the wife has mourned him for a minimum of one year, she is free to move on with her life.

I don't know why Nigerian men punish their wives even from the grave. It is such a huge disadvantage marrying a Nigerian bred male because most of you abuse your wives emotionally, verbally, physically and psychologically while you are alive. Then you leave nothing behind for the wife and kids in the event of your sudden demise. As if that is not enough, your family members start fighting the wife/widow you left behind as a result of your death who take away everything you and your wife ever worked for. And then to add salt upon injury, you expect the lady/widow to remain single for the rest of her life not considering how young she was when she lost her husband due to no fault of her own.

Nigeria: A failed wicked nation with predominately wicked people who have no conscience and who gladly practice a wicked culture. I spit!

@Post

Kemtol, you are free to move on with your life. You are a woman and if you intend to give your little son siblings in the not-so-distant future, then it is time to move on. If things were the other way round and if it was you who had died first, I doubt your husband would have remained a single widower for you for the rest of his life. In fact, after 6 months, his family will find him another wife and remind anyone who cares to listen that 'body no be firewood'. Sorry for your lose but life goes on.

tnx all. i appreciate alll d responses i av recieved so far. as per my in laws they are okay wit me. they remuslims and they told me im free at d fifth month but d issue is cos of my son.i sensed he needs a father figure.he seems unhappy and withdrawn whenhe sees his friends with their dad. he once said this 'i wish jesus could make my dad come back' and since then it had got me worried. financially God has been faithful he wasnt lacking anything materialwise. tnx all once again

2days.

ola_pluto: Why not look after your son for now? Best answer to your question is this:
If you were dead and able to see your living husband, how long will you be OK for him to mourn you for? For real love, it is usually for the rest of the spouse life. For marriage based on money, it is between 1 second - 1 month. Others may vary

didn't want to respond to this thread till i saw ur post. Ppl act as if we are in this life to date & copulate nowadays. If u loved sum1 why d rush into another partner's arms?
From my knowledge of human beings, before d OP posted this,ppl were already accusing her of not mourning her hubby well enof before hitting d scene wt new man/men(u can curse me now).
Why ask Nairalanders who were not there to know what u shared wt ur late hubby? Ds is as bad as a woman discussing her sleeping postures wt her husband in public. To me, such a lady has no respect for her man & is undeserving of his love.

For u to hav asked dis question means dat u're ready 2 move on! D pains of ur loss hav eased, now u're emotionally & psychologically ready 2 live a normal life. Goooo! seek & u shall find another. (wetin killam sef?)

These days ppl jump into new arms if their spouse travel for 3months . Ask them why & you'll hear stuffs like "she/he is long gone... & i am human"
Food is now an appetizer for se..x
Soddom & gomorrah is coming back agen.. #lookin for my old 2face album#

peckers:
firstly shey you don born?, because that is what matter most, then secondly you can only remarried if you lack something like financial care and sex, thirdly is there anyone disturbing you for a date? these are the Question u need to ask yourself *shikena*

I advice u shu.t*up if u dnt knw wht 2 say. She z talkn abt ha hapines, n u re hia talking abt money n s.ex. Does she tel u dat dats ha reason 4 tinkin of remarrying. Mtchewww

Bunchers stab: 08035052901 call me

Cal u 4 wetin? Na u wan marry am. 1da shl neva end. Lolz

@ op, sorry 4 ur loss, so sorry, pele
u can go on wit ur life if u are actually ready to go on. Best luck dear.

ashson: Well, in islam a widow will mourn her husband for 4months and 10days. after that she can remarry and move on.

You see una self, just 4 months and 10 days after am gone ? Islam-a-Bad (just joking)

Akpos: madam make we do somtin na,
widow: no its too early am stil mournin my husband nd its jus 3 days now.
Akpos: Dats y am wearin a black condom, jus open ur legs nd accept my condolence. . Anyway madam, sorry 4ur loss but no time is too soon, u nid 2 move on.

Morgan1092: I advice u shu.t*up if u dnt knw wht 2 say. She z talkn abt ha hapines, n u re hia talking abt money n s.ex. Does she tel u dat dats ha reason 4 tinkin of remarrying. Mtchewww

thank God you said you will advice me to shut up not commanding to do that because i might make you cry internally, now tell me what brings joy to woman lives if not money, care, feeling and sex? is like you dey form familiarity so that you go fit date the woman abi?

theres no should.. it depends on what the person seems fit

as one who used to be a student please
utilize your brilliant brain to answer this
question. You have money, you didn't trust
any one two keep it for you except a blind
man, later you travelled, before you return
the
blind man had become deaf. How would you
collect your money back?

jenzeeto: as one who used to be a student please
utilize your brilliant brain to answer this
question. You have money, you didn't trust
any one two keep it for you except a blind
man, later you travelled, before you return
the
blind man had become deaf. How would you
collect your money back?

firstly when i saw utilize your brain to answer this question, i was thinking it a sensible question, so you no know bank to keep money and for this kind of modern word you are so daft to keep money in blind man hand, how blind man wan take keep am for you and how blind man go take no the denomination? think before you ask question ok

jenzeeto: as one who used to be a student please
utilize your brilliant brain to answer this
question. You have money, you didn't trust
any one two keep it for you except a blind
man, later you travelled, before you return
the
blind man had become deaf. How would you
collect your money back?

Questions like this makes me wanna slap someone, what kind of useless and senseless question is this one?

First why would a normal human being give a blind man money to keep for him? And why must the blind man go deaf? Why didn't he just die instead? You are inshort an hediot for asking this kind of annoying question,mstcheew.

freecocoa: Questions like this makes me wanna slap someone, what kind of useless and senseless question is this one?

First why would a normal human being give a blind man money to keep for him? And why must the blind man go deaf? Why didn't he just die instead? You are inshort an hediot for asking this kind of annoying question,mstcheew.

you are bro seriously speaking i think the guy need to check out if his memory is still active

utumunta:

didn't want to respond to this thread till i saw ur post. Ppl act as if we are in this life to date & copulate nowadays. If u loved sum1 why d rush into another partner's arms?
From my knowledge of human beings, before d OP posted this,ppl were already accusing her of not mourning her hubby well enof before hitting d scene wt new man/men(u can curse me now).
Why ask Nairalanders who were not there to know what u shared wt ur late hubby? Ds is as bad as a woman discussing her sleeping postures wt her husband in public. To me, such a lady has no respect for her man & is undeserving of his love.

I Neva I am ready to rush into another man arm and for d record I be not been into a relationship since is death so no one is accussing me of anything

kemtol: I Neva I am ready to rush into another man arm and for d record I be not been into a relationship since is death so no one is accussing me of anything

i think if that thing is not scratching you, just be yourself and look after you son, bcus we men wahala too much, all what we know is putting thing inside thing

freecocoa: This issue is kinda sensitive. I know some cultures have a particular time set aside to mourn a spouse or husband as the case maybe.

But i think whenever your heart is ready is okay, i don't know about others but i believe if someone you truly loves dies, it will take you a lot of time to be ready, not saying 2 years is too short but i think you should focus on training your son now and if you are really ready, you won't ask questions.

Just spoke my mind.
Though a lot of factors play into taking a decision like this.
Wish you well poster!

@utumanta. U don't know me so u can't judge me for my post here.u really not a widower so u can't imagine what I pass through not to talk of understanding it. U don't knowb what it feels to loose a son until u loose one.and for me not loving my husband 'will u stick ur life for something u don't love or care about for a second not to talk of holding on for almost three years. And for me to seek advice from people who I don't know u can't blame me.l once went to my late husband friend for a help concerning a job and he request to be intimate with me first. There was a neighbour pastor of mine who I went to for financial assistance only to help and start disturbing me for intimacy
are those d kind of people I seek helpfrom or his families who immediately took over his business forgetting d widow ands poor son.there certain issues u need to accertain before u condemn pple. It is popular saying that d devil u don't know is better than d wicked angel u know. To everyone I say a big. Thank you. God will grant us all wisdom and understanding to face the challenges of life

Ibanga p: Akpos: madam make we do somtin na,
widow: no its too early am stil mournin my husband nd its jus 3 days now.
Akpos: Dats y am wearin a black condom, jus open ur legs nd accept my condolence. . Anyway madam, sorry 4ur loss but no time is too soon, u nid 2 move on.

how old are u please?

she can mourn her late husband for as long as she wants to.... there is no specific time range to mourn any dead person

How long the widow mourns is her own business, and hers ONLY.

You have waited long enough. 1 year is OK to mourn husband of 4years. Do you have children for him?
If you already have a male and female children, I will advice you to wait longer (like 5 - 10) years before thinking of another relationship, nuture those children and give them the best you have. Your children should mean the world to you and I won't advice you to do anything that will cause disaffection between you and your children in the future.

If you have just one child or none for him, you can get into another relationship immediately, but make sure your new relationship is ready to accept your children as his own. Also ensure that you protect them at every point in time

However, if you feel like talking to someone, you can talk to a matured religious clergy.

Shalom!

kemtol: @utumanta. U don't know me so u can't judge me for my post here.u really not a widower so u can't imagine what I pass through not to talk of understanding it. U don't knowb what it feels to loose a son until u loose one.and for me not loving my husband 'will u stick ur life for something u don't love or care about for a second not to talk of holding on for almost three years. And for me to seek advice from people who I don't know u can't blame me.l once went to my late husband friend for a help concerning a job and he request to be intimate with me first. There was a neighbour pastor of mine who I went to for financial assistance only to help and start disturbing me for intimacy
are those d kind of people I seek helpfrom or his families who immediately took over his business forgetting d widow ands poor son.there certain issues u need to accertain before u condemn pple. It is popular saying that d devil u don't know is better than d wicked angel u know. To everyone I say a big. Thank you. God will grant us all wisdom and understanding to face the challenges of life

I asssume you are nwe to NL so I'm going to give you this advice . . . PLEASE IGNORE THOSE USELESS PEOPLE!

Dont even dignify their posts with a response.

Just do what is best for you and your son. I dont know what you are going through and neither does any of us here. If you think you need companionship, go ahead and seek for it. Dont let someone restrain you!

A dead man can't shine your congo. My advice to you is to get it shined as quickly as possible before it gets caked and hard to shine by the new shiner

[quote author=Bunchers stab]08035052901 call me

why ?

My dear I am really sorry for your loss. By mourning your late husband for the past two and half years, you have honoured him and proved that you loved him. You can move on with your life now. Your late husband would want you to settle down again and be happy. Good luck.