Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba - Literature (6) - Nairaland
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My 1st Ibo Girl Date - Diary Of A Jobless NIGERIAN Youth / As E Dey Happen (pidgin Tory Wey Sweet Wella) / Man Wey Dey Reason (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 5:22pm On Feb 07, 2013 |
simplifier: take 9 bottles of 1759 mixed with alomo, u go even ask where ur eyes dey. 1 Like |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by EzePromoe: 6:57pm On Feb 07, 2013 |
Flow, you too much. My fellow kpako but I'm not a smoker. 1 Like |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 10:11pm On Feb 07, 2013 |
That day was like every other day, Juliet called me on phone and i told her i was very ill the previous day and my phone battery was down, that was why she couldn't get me. Evening came, and the tot of Dami coming to my house made me happy. That evening was cold so i went to Angom's room to smoke. I smoked every jumbo with joy and fulfillment in my heart. As the flames came out of my second Jumbo, it was as if my brain was soaring with it. Meanwhile Angom was playing "who do u believe in - by Tupac shakur" from his sound system. "who do u believe in, i put my faith in God, Thats who believe in, and when the going gets tough who do believe, tell me who do believe in" those where lyrics from the song, "Angom, who do u believe in?" i teased, "na God na" he said and i felt pity for myself that i have kept an arms length from my Creator. "e don tay i go church oh, all my own na women, weed, drink, i don forget say God dey oh" i said as i reminese all my trespasses against my creator. "Lord give me a sign, i really need to talk to u Lord, since the last time we spoke, the walk has been hard, i know u haven't left me but i feel like am alone, am a big boy now, but am still not grown, all these coming to me like pain in head,.......... protect me and give the strength to fight back......... Amen" i used Dmx "Lord give me a sign" lyrics as a prayer in my mind. Just when i said i needed no more temptations in my like, my phone rang, it was Dami. I went out of the compound to usher her into my room. "u have a beautiful room here" she said, "not as beautiful as u are, my princess" i said looking into her beautiful eyes. I put on my Tv and inserted a black American movie into my Dvd. She watched the movie keenly. I was high on weed and am always more romantic in such condition. The movie got to a a love making scene, and i saw Dami was watching the scene with keen interest. At that moment, i switched on my red "romantic bob" that didn't only lite up the room, but made it serene and warm. "gengen, today na today" i said in my mind. Dami came closer giving me a green light. I placed my hands on her l*aps, she giggled and i also drew closer almost making my bare chest touch her b*reast. I couldn't tell what to do next as she continued looking straight into my eyes, i grabed her hands and drew her closer, this time i could feel her hard b*reast on my bare chest. I kissed her while i fumbled with removing her clothes. As her n*akedness stared at me, my d*ick was at its hardest, "ah ah ah ah, u are killing me, ah ah ah" was what she whispered as i made love to her, i scrambled and changed positon to give her the s*crewing of her life. 2 Likes |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by johnwizey: 12:25am On Feb 08, 2013 |
kari goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 2 Likes |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 12:16pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
2 weeks later. Dami had travelled to Ife to go look after her sick grandmum. I have been going to buy things from her mum's shop and guess what? I haven't been paying a dime, whatever i bought there was free. I couldn't tell why her mum gave me things for free since Dami left, until one day. I went there to buy garri one afternoon, "good afternoon ma, i want to buy garri" i said. "good afternoon corper Ugo, how are u today?" she said. "am fine ma" i responded "come on in hunk" she added, beckoning on me to come in and seat down. "na me dis woman dey call hunk, which day dat one start na?" i said within myself as i gave her that charming smile dat melts the hearts of so many ladies. I sat on a bench and she came to seat on the same bench rather too close for my liking, "abi dis woman want make i stop to dey see her daughter" i tot. "u see, Ugo, can i call u dat?" she asked "yes ma, dats my name" i said, "common Ugo, stop the ma and call me Ireti, dats my name" she said, as i noticed she wasn't even old facially "ok ma, sorry Ireti" i said. "u see Ugo, i have always liked ur person, u are a dashing young man, i also like ur charisma" she added. "thank u ma, sorry Ireti" i said "hahahahahaha, and another thing i like about u is dat u are very funny" she said and laughed. She told me she was a divorcee and her Ex-husband was even married to another woman, "old story, wetin Dami don already tell me" i tot as i felt pity for her. "but nawa for some men oh, why person go divorce dis kin fine woman" i tot as i took a quick glance at her "mighty jogs". One thing i love this woman for is that she is a defination of Sexyyyyyy, with an arss that is as huge as a television, "why yoruba women dey get big nyash sef?" i asked myself as i stared at her big arss while she attended to a customer. "u see since my husband left i haven't seen a person that could fill the empty space he left in my heart" she said while she sat even closer to me. "go find am na, abi u no dey do am well nahim make him leave u?" i almost asked her. "Ugo, i love u so much, i want you to be my sugarboy" she said what seemed like a joke to me. I took a deep breathe and said, "ehn ehn ehn, what about ur daughter, i love her so much" . She giggled and said, "i love her too, she is my only child, but its better i tell u dis now, than for me to hide my feelings" she said, "u know what, i would give u some time to think about this, but i can't wait for too long" she added. She gave me her number that i should call her and give her the expected positive response. She stood up to measure my garri and i could now have a full view of her big ikebe. A song came to my mind, and that is Sunny Nneji's "dis Ikebe go put u for trouble oh, ooooh Ikebe, Ikebe, oooooh Ikebe" 4 Likes |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by FoxyRebirth(m): 12:28pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
See, I dey watch you closely o... If this write up put me for trouble I go visit am for your head oooooo |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 12:38pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Foxy_Rebirth: See, I dey watch you closely o... If this write up put me for trouble I go visit am for your head oooooo foxy eh, ikebe wan put flow for wahala oh |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
flow1759: 2 weeks later. Dami had travelled to Ife to go look after her sick grandmum. I have been going to buy things from her mum's shop and guess what? I haven't been paying a dime, whatever i bought there was free. I couldn't tell why her mum gave me things for free since Dami left, until one day.Lmao this guy you're funny as hell...I've not done any real work since I started reading this your story o make this ya story no put me for trouble with my oga o.. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by IcemanP(m): 2:12pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
FLOW BABA,U DEY MAKE SENCE ABEG,CANT WAIT 4 UR NEXT UPDATE |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by dayleke: 3:18pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flow,you r d definition of "CRAZY" in a good sense of way. I've been reading and following u o. Your last couple of updates were hilarious and I've been going crazy with laughter over here,I am reading your updates in traffic at every stop at a red light and other drivers are looking at me kinda.... Carry go joor,nothing do you,I don't smoke but I drink sha... Nna,u be the bomb. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 4:00pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
I got home with almost half bag of garri "free of charge", "na who give u dis kin plenty garri" Ilorin asked, "i go theif am" i responded. "flow na ur house we go come dey take garri wey we go dey drink oh" Angom and Ilorin chorused, "because na me be una papa na, na me send una come serve?" i teased. I took a nap that evening. I dreamt i was chased by Kehinde my student. Kehinde was chasing me with a matchete. I ran as fast as my legs could go, as i ran ahead, i saw Juliet chasing me with an axe in front. With Juliet racing towards me from the North and Kehinde racing from the South of where i stood, i couldn't help but move to escape from the East, as i raced with an "Usain Bolt" style to the East, i saw Dami racing towards me with an AK47 gun. Now with the West as the only escape route, i ran at the speed of light towards the West, but i abruptly halted when i saw Dami's Mum racing towards me without a weapon; onlike others. Just then i wished i had wings that could make me fly to the sky. I tried to move my legs but they were completely weak, i tried moving it again, this time my right leg moved but an obstacle on the floor stoped it from moving further bringing my whole body to the floor. As i lay facing the sky, all i could say was "forgive me Ladies, am sorry, Forgive me ladies, am sorry". I continued saying that until Dami's Mum moved closer to where I was lying and turned, now her big Ikebe was staring at me............................... GBAAAMMMMM!!!!, she sat on my head.................. "make una help me oh, i don die oh" i shouted my way from the dream world to reality. As i continued shouting i noticed my standing fan was on my head, just exactly the way Dami's Mum sat on my head in the dream. "thank God for this fan oh, if not that Ikebe woman for suffocate me with her ikebe oh" i tot as i put the fan to its actual position, "but wait oh, how i take fall the fan for my body sef?" i asked no one else but myself. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by alfablondy: 4:04pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flow I hope say u no go flow pass your limit  . But wait a minute! this WOMEN, I mean mother and child fit start fighting themselves becos of you o  Come tell us how it went. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by BukkyDan(f): 4:05pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Rotfl Flow eeeeeeh....you wan kill pesin with laff ni? Haaaa! Nice job! You just made my evening, thanks alot. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 6:29pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
BukkyDan: Rotfl its my pleasure, bukky u never see anything sef. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by Nobody: 7:17pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flowwwwwwww, u wan commit taboo o. But dt mama sef na something else o,she wan chop wetin ha pikin dey chop. 1 Like |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 7:36pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
The next day, as usual i was the first teacher to be in sch. As i was writing my boring lesson note, a student came, "good morning sir" Mosun a JSS2 girl greeted, "Mosun, how are u" i said "fine sir, sir i want to ask u a question" she added. "what is it, ask am all ears" i said curiously. "ehnn Sir i heard my elder brother talking to someone on phone about something he called C*ondom, sir what is a C*ondom?" she asked. "ehn ehn Mosun u see C*ondon is ehn ehn an ingredient they use to spicen up fried rice, maybe ur brother wanted the person to cook him fried rice" that lie came out of my mouth too fast. "i don lie for this small girl oh, but why she wan know wetin c*ondom be na, why she no ask her elder brother, na my mouth she wan hear say Pope no be V*irgin abi" i tot as i saw her leave happily. Soon it was evening, i was at home smoking with Angom and Ilorin as usual. "Angom, if u see sugarmummy wey like u, u go date her?" i asked Angom. "Flow u don see sugarmummy?" Ilorin asked what made me angry, "yes na, i don see, na ur Mama na" i said, "Flow make u no dey talk about my Mama like dat oh, sha if u want make my Mama b ur sugarmummy u go die go meet her for grave be that" Ilorin fired at me "na u go die" i fired back. "Angom abeg answer my question jor, no mind dis mumu Yoruba boy" i said. "Flow, forget oh i go rush any sugarmummy wey come oh, abi u like as we dey drink garri everyday? u go gain plenty things from sugarmummy oh" Angom said. "u go gain plenty things but u go dey do her well well oh" i added. "Yes u go do her well well na, abi u no sabi do?" Ilorin asked me, "u dey mad, u wey only 2 rounds u go dey breathe like person wey run hundred metres for Olmpics" i said, "i do pass u abeg" Ilorin responded. I got to my room that night, as i was about sleeping, i tot of calling my "newly found love" a.k.a Ikebe super. "make i call her, make i no call her, make i call her, make i no call her, make i call her" i tot, "i go call her abeg" i concluded. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by buskeske: 7:40pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flow u no go kill me with lafta ooooooo |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by EzePromoe: 7:47pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flow, God punish you  Na Dami wey be my favourite wey you wan do this kind thing to her mama  You must press Ctrl+Z before me and you go fight o  |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 7:48pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
buskeske: Flow u no go kill me with lafta ooooooo mehn, u never laf, laf still plenty dey wait u. |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 7:51pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Eze Promoe: Flow, God punish you but her Mama sweet pass her na, just wait, u go know y i talk like dat |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 8:10pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
dayleke: Flow,you r d definition of "CRAZY" in a good sense of way. no go laf lose control oh. Thanks man |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by EzePromoe: 8:22pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
flow1759:What Chai, I really feel for Dami o |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by purpinkx(m): 8:26pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Flow flow ... Am loving this |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 9:09pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
purpinkx: Flow flow ... Am loving this thank you |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by Nobody: 10:37pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Lol |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by johnwizey: 12:56pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
oya nw flow...................................i cant wait o |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 1:25pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
johnwizey: oya nw flow...................................i cant wait o me too can't wait for ur updates on "when sis caught me" oh |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by johnwizey: 1:56pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
flow1759:lol |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by maesha08(f): 1:59pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
Whoa V bin glued to dis page 4 d past 3hrs |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 3:08pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
maesha08: Whoa V bin glued to dis page 4 d past 3hrs i promise not to dissapoint u, more updates coming soon |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by Emperortj93(m): 6:05pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
Guy i don laff sote ma uncle tie ma mouth wit cloth yesterday 9t....@FLOW..pls i need mooooooreeeeeeeee pass oliver twist |
| Re: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba by flow1759: 7:03pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
I called Dami's Mum, or rather Ireti. She said i should come keep her company the next day in the evening at her house, that she was lonely. That day in sch, i had no class to teach. In other to cure my boredom, i went to see how Lola taught her JSS3 Students English. I entered and the students greeted, i went to seat on an empty seat behind the class. The topic was PRESENT TENSE AND PAST TENSE. "can somebody tell me the past tense of run?" Lola asked the students, "na simple question for Jss3 na" i said in my mind. "infact, u tell me the past tense of run, and make a sentence with it ok?" she added, "me. Anti! me Anti!, me Anti!" was the noise coming from different corners of the classroom until Lola pointed at Bola; the dullest in the class. I knew he was going to fail the question, but i just wanted to see the magnitude of his failure. He stood up in jitters and said, "Anti the past tense of run is ehn ehn ehn ehn..... Runed". I let out a big laugh as if my intestine would come out from my mouth soon, i saw Lola Laughed also. The whole class raised the roof with cheers "stop the noise!!!" Lola shouted bringing the class to absolute silence. "ok, Bola if the past tense of run is runed like u said, make a sentence with runed?" Lola queried, at that moment i saw tears gathering in Bola's eyes as he answered saying; "Me kpèlù Tolu runed to school yesterday". I couldn't help but laughed my way out of the class before my intestine would actually come out from my mouth. I got home, prepared myself some food, ate, took my bath and started dressing up for the visit to the house of my "sweat mama". As i steped out of my room, "where u dey go?" Ilorin asked frightening me. "i dey go heaven, u wan follow me go?" i questioned, "na ur type dey go heaven? u go enter heaven go dey smoke weed and drink abi, u go go heaven go give angels wey dey there weed make them smoke and high abi" Ilorin said what was the bitter truth. "na u sabi oh, u sef no dey weed? abeg give me that ur perfume make i spray jor" i said. 3 Likes |
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