Friday Fun!!

Whether you’re fresh of the boat or a second generation immigrant, if your family is from anywhere in sub-saharan Africa, you can probably relate.

1. Your parents always talk about how they had to walk 5,000 miles to get to school. Barefoot. Across a mountain. With a goat




2. You always dreaded the first day of school.




3. The kids in your class always asked you ridiculously stupid question[/b]s.



[b]Or other equally ignorant questions like “Did you have a pet lion?”



or “Do you know [insert any random thing from the entire continent]?”



4. Growing up, your parents always lectured you about hard work. Meanwhile



5. They always bring up marriage but refuse to allow you to leave the house.



6. You Parent's reaction to your request for Privacy



7) And "Allowance



“going out”, “having friends”, “doing anything besides school work”



9) You have at least one uncle like this.




10) And an aunt that is always gossiping with your mom.

11. This definitely happens at every family reunion.



12. In your household, Cocoa butter never went to waste




13. Whenever your parents chastised you, they always blamed it on the influence of the one American celebrity they know.




14. Or insulted you by calling you a goat…or some other animal.



15. Your parents never let you celebrate Halloween.



16 And as annoying as your parents quirks are, you love making them proud.




They treat us like they hate us because they love us. Awwwwww! Lol! God Bless 'em!

Please, number 9 happens even in Nigeria. That one relative that thinks it his life mission to make your life miserable. Dragging for food in your mummy's pot. Competing for food as if your mum is their mum. And your parents cant complain. . They tell you to allow him, no matter what. "Just leave him alone, he is your uncle, take money, go and buy suya"

this is mad hilarious.....

Hahahaha. My favourites:

"She named her child veronica. Is that even in the Bible?"

"Did you taste her coffee? She is definitely not married."

Thanks sisikill, this thread is a good one.

I can relate

This thread.........ehn, na kill, e go funny baje

I love that part........"your parents insult you at home and brags about you in public".......... This really happened to me(us) while growing up, if you do this, you hear......"dont you know you are a woman to be, na wa o, you never know how to do anything right", if you do that, its another shouting/insult. There was a day she(my mum) wasnt around and a visitor asked of her(she had already told me to come and call her where she was if that particular visitor came around),so, as i was going with the fear of what she will talk again, i overheard her praising us to her friend......she said and i quote....."i thank God for the type of children God gave me, they are so cool-headed, if they are like other people's children that i know, they would have ran away from house", blah,blah,blah........i was like....hhhhmmm, so, this woman can be proud of us, but who born me to let her know that i overheard such words, ha!, my mama, colonial master indeed.,,,,,,,,,,.
After we all got married, one day we just decided to visit her together, so we went there em-mass, and we recollected our childhood experiences with her, so i told her my experince of "that" day and we asked why she always insulted us at home, why she always have something to complained about when in actual fact, we were doing fine and okay...........she said.........so that you can all turn out well the way you have turned out well, chai! See Africa mentality, so, if parents dont abuse, dissapprove and insult their kids, they wont turn out well.........hhhhmmmmm
May God help us all.

Stolen!

Ahahah funny especially the changing the channel,my mom would find us watching our favorite series she would grab the remote ,change the channel and put cooking channel or news !

Just did # 4

Me: Do we have milk? (getting myself some cereal as I stood at the countertop by the fridge)
Kid: Yes (and started walking away from the kitchen)
Me: where are you going? Shebi I said give me the milk
Kid: You didn't say so ( got it for me,probably wondering how hard would it have been for me to get the milk myself since I was standing next to the fridge)

True African immigrant

MMotimo: Just did # 4

Me: Do we have milk? (getting myself some cereal as I stood at the countertop by the fridge)
Kid: Yes (and started walking away from the kitchen)
Me: where are you going? Shebi I said give me the milk
Kid: You didn't say so ( got it for me,probably wondering how hard would it have been for me to get the milk myself since I was standing next to the fridge)

True African immigrant

I hope you apologized oh!

Hahahahaha number 9 is so true. Wen we were kids we had a family tooth paste everyone uses and when the tooth paste finishes,my dad will take scissors or blade and cut the tooth paste into 2 and tell me to use the toothbrush to clean the tooth paste out of it those days were funny

number 12 too is so true.i had an aunt who will come ans say shes staying for one week and one week will become two years.when i am watching cartoon on nta ,thats when she will bring a vhs (that time there wasnt vcd or cd) and say she wants to watch home video.i should sit and learn when shes cooking,she will say i should stay in the kitchen with her and be passing spoon,salt and curry for her and watch what she is doing.as soon as the food is ready and she serves mine,she will cut my meat into 2,fling half into her mouth and put the remaining half into my plate while she locks the kitchen door so i dont come back for more

the rest is 1oo percent typical of our house

MMotimo: Just did # 4

Me: Do we have milk? (getting myself some cereal as I stood at the countertop by the fridge)
Kid: Yes (and started walking away from the kitchen)
Me: where are you going? Shebi I said give me the milk
Kid: You didn't say so ( got it for me,probably wondering how hard would it have been for me to get the milk myself since I was standing next to the fridge)

True African immigrant

Lol.Typical African Parent.

greatgod2012: This thread.........ehn, na kill, e go funny baje

I love that part........"your parents insult you at home and brags about you in public".......... This really happened to me(us) while growing up, if you do this, you hear......"dont you know you are a woman to be, na wa o, you never know how to do anything right", if you do that, its another shouting/insult. There was a day she(my mum) wasnt around and a visitor asked of her(she had already told me to come and call her where she was if that particular visitor came around),so, as i was going with the fear of what she will talk again, i overheard her praising us to her friend......she said and i quote....."i thank God for the type of children God gave me, they are so cool-headed, if they are like other people's children that i know, they would have ran away from house", blah,blah,blah........i was like....hhhhmmm, so, this woman can be proud of us, but who born me to let her know that i overheard such words, ha!, my mama, colonial master indeed.,,,,,,,,,,.
After we all got married, one day we just decided to visit her together, so we went there em-mass, and we recollected our childhood experiences with her, so i told her my experince of "that" day and we asked why she always insulted us at home, why she always have something to complained about when in actual fact, we were doing fine and okay...........she said.........so that you can all turn out well the way you have turned out well, chai! See Africa mentality, so, if parents dont abuse, dissapprove and insult their kids, they wont turn out well.........hhhhmmmmm
May God help us all.

that is typical of nigerian parents.they can abuse you soo much that you will wonder whether you are that worthless but outside,they will be like my daughter is a very hardworking girl,she is so this and that,but at home ehhh

i remember when i was in ss1 that i had my first ear piercing beside the first ear hole.i was the subject of sermon during morning prayers.my mom said i should open to ephesians.she did not end it there,she reported me to our pastor that one too started his own sermon

I just remembnered another onme now.when i was much younger just leaving home for the first time to enter university.my mom woke me up in the night like after 2am to tell me as i am going to the university,i shouldnt join bad gang,i shouldnt join cult,i should not follow boys and i should not follow girls that are not going to church,dont follow girls that are going to party or are following sugar daddy etc it was very annoying and funny at the same time.i was like motigbo ma.in the morning again afyer everyone had woken up she still said the same thing,

sooo funny,

am guilty off all,

i wud say to my kids, u guys are the reason am here o, if u wont make use of the opportunities u have i will pack my things and we can all go do farming in the village

i call my 7yr old from down stairs to come and look for the remote or out my phone on charger wen the charger and phone are within arms length, he used to complain " but muuuuuum, the phone is right here" commmon shut up, u think u know everything abi?? give me dat and go and bring my bag from down stairs, i cook for u , clean for u, wash ur clothes etc i will then list every chore i do in the house, dat usually shuts him up.

he is used to it now he doesnt complain anymore

Very funny.

Number 9 happens mostly in naija.
Anyway, dry stuff. Kudos

pls am in a meeting reading this,i cant fit laff.

na una mama and una papa una dey talk about like dis abi .. God dey watch una ooo

ItsModella:

My mom told me my uncle was coming to visit. 8 years later, he was still in my house. I was so happy when he moved out because he used to do every single thing in this photo..

Lmao!!! That man must be...hahah

Thats what makes us thick.

Lol...so so my parents.

My parents and relative are guilty of all crimes. I can remember my parents complaining that i am stuborn, watch movies a lot and that am not going to do well in skul becos of that, bt when i graduated as best graduating students, they told my uncle, "my son doesnt watch tv anyhow oh, he reads his books day and night that i sometimes beg him to stop reading, and he is very obedient that is why he graduated as the best" and i was like this woman get another son? Lol. So na wash she dey tel me all this while.

The tone used in calling your name determines if you are going to hell or heaven.
olllaaaaniyi....that is heaven
niyiiiiiiiii.....you r dead.

[img]http://t.qkme.me/3s01ko.jpg[/img]

Vikin: Stolen!

this is my mumsi, the queen of sending errands
Nne do the dishes thank you and she points to that sink in the pic ,only that our 100years old mortar and pestle will be there by the side of the sink too, she will then proceed to suggest that maybe its best that you take it outside to the tap at the backyard like she is trying to help you , i go just dey boil


then when my dad is upset with one of us , and he wants to report the person he will say " the one they call ..... (like say no be im name the person)" for example the one they call ifeanyi has not called in 2 weeks then he follows it up with his threat of moving back to the village which he knows upsets us like mad, he has been using that line for as long as i can remember , "i will soon leave you people and go back to my village"

This is Africa... Respect to our parents

kulyie: I just remembnered another onme now.when i was much younger just leaving home for the first time to enter university.my mom woke me up in the night like after 2am to tell me as i am going to the university,i shouldnt join bad gang,i shouldnt join cult,i should not follow boys and i should not follow girls that are not going to church,dont follow girls that are going to party or are following sugar daddy etc it was very annoying and funny at the same time.i was like motigbo ma.in the morning again afyer everyone had woken up she still said the same thing,

lol!!! but you know that 2am one is to show the gravity of that discussion