bettermike: Believe me when i say you absolutely NOT NEED ANTIDEPRESSANTS FOR SELF SERVICING. Please dont even attempt it! I beg you. As per solution, what you need is this: The will to stop; A target; Restrain yourself from looking or thinking about s*x; and if possible, avoid girls completely for up to 4months. Self servicing is very dangerous as it can indeed kill. Our creator did not design s*x as an everyday tonic like food. It is only for childbearing. Unfortunately, man has over time sold sex as a fun/recreational activity for frequent indulgence, which is not supposed to be. So, start today in your attempt to quit self servicing. Start with a 3day target, then one week, then 2 etc. Let me know if you encounter any problems along the way. You can do it bro. Just believe.

Your advice is totally on point except that he should avoid girls completely for 4 months, that's practically impossible. He should rather see those girls as sisters by changing his mindset. . Even if he decides to avoid seeing girls, it doesn't guarantee that mast.urbation will stop, there are other factors that can forster this.

Hi people

When I was at Madonna, a fellow student commited suicide by stabbing himself with a knife and he left a suicide note that said he was tired of all the unhappiness. All I could hear from fellow students was critisicm directed at the boy with numerous statements like 'what kind of stupid boy, whatever situation he was in are there not people who are worse off?' and so on. All these sounded ignorant to me because I have always suffered from depression and I could understand what the boy would have felt like. My family, for example, have never understood that I suffer from an actual disease and when I once suggested I should see a psycholist their counter-idea was that I should go and see a priest for deliverance lol. On a more serious note Nigerians need to understand how debilitating depression can be and be supportive towards sufferers instead of being judgemental. On a lighter note I found a girl who understands what I go through and who is there 24/7 if I need to talk or ....

depressionkills:

Though our paths in life are different we have so much in common, I know how heavy a burden, the fear of filure is, trust me!! Just reread my OP!!
We live in a society that teach us that our worth as human is based on external things like a degree, a job, money, a car blabla and push us to chase unattainable dreams until they destroy us.
Fist you need to understand that YOUR WORTH IS UNCONDITIONAL!! OK?

When one look at this, one realise how foolish this is. We value oursleves with material things as if life was not the most precious thing on earth!! You are more than a car, more than a job, more than a Rolex watch bla bla. I just remember watching few weeks a go a movie called Fruitvale Station based on Oscar Grant's life and I cry myself to sleep.
Oscar Grant was one of these people the materialist and racist society deemed 'worthless': Black, unemployed, poor, drop out, teenage father, umarried, exconvicted.
But you know what made me cry To see how deeply loved he was by his mother, sister, girlfirned and especially daughters.
Seriously Bleep all that non important shiiitttt and talk to people who have been through seriosu illness and life threatening situations they will ALLL tell you that went you face death you understand that those fake pursuits do not matter. On you death bed, the last images you will see before dying will the images of your love ones, the moments you have spent together and cherished. Trust me, you will see no images of you at the office or washing your expensive car. I know it may be hard t understand because as depressed people, we all have this negative self-talk that tells us that we are useless, that everybody will be better off we us being dead. I know that voice very well but I can tell you this voice is a lie.

On 13 dec 2010, I was planning to kill myself, like I had everything ready I called my dad to told him god bye and told him that I couldnt anymore. I was so convinced that he would talk me down about my poor grades and lack of attendance because of my negative self talk that had manged to convinced me that I was absolutely useless. You know what he did/ He dropped on his knees and begged me not to do it. I had never seen him cry before, I didn't even know that my dad could cry. Trust me, if you kill yourself, and someone call you wife to tell her that you are in the hospital, the first thing she will say wont be 'has he found a job yet?' Nope!1 She will be distraught and break down. Your son needs you too just like Safina, Oscar Grant's daughter, misses her dad.
People are ignorant and they dont know how to love especially in Africa. Many thing that by being mean they are being helpful and call it tough love when hurtful words causes the biggest words to the soul.

Secondly, you have achieved a lot and you are a success!! Yep you!! You have achieved a lot I am sure. Start measuring success with things that matter. In the old days they would say that the wealth of a man is his family, his children. You have that, not many are as lucky as you. You managed to find the love of your life and she loves you back and is even supportive financially. This is a blessing, accept her love and support and do not take it as a sign that you are less than a man. She deems you to be man enough for her and it means a lot. You manged to graduate, not everyone can, I am one of them . You are surely a very wise and smart person I am sure. There is more to life than material things.
Life is a becoming. There is not right or wrong way to live, we are trying an doing our best with the cards we are dealt. You have achieved a lot. Even waking up, bathing, eating is an achievement for many depressed people who cant even get out of their bed. Please be kind to yourself dear.
There is this proverb that Robert Kennedy would always repeat, it is from a greek poet, I think his name is Aeschyllus or something like that: "In agony learn wisdom for the true nature of life is injustice" After JFK assassination, he slumped into a deep depression and didnt know what to do with his life. He was so depressed that he would even wear his brother's old clothes. You know what his pain taught him? That life was short and that he shall live a life true to his values for it to have meaning. He who was formely anti-communist and pro-vietnam war did a u-turn and start opposing it. He who didnt care for black people as a white rich privileged kid, started to support the civil right movement. His pain made him more compassionate to people despite skin color or origin differences, who were suffering like him. Through doing what he thought right ta the time even if he received a lot of flack from the democrats of the time, he healed his wounds. Maybe your pain is there to teach who are really there for you. Who will stand for you at your lowest, who has your back and really love you for you. Your pain may be there to help you weave deep bonds with people who REALLY LOVE YOU FOR YOU Please the judgmental naysayers because as Marilyn Monroe use to say: "If they cant stand you at your worst, they dont deserve you at your best"
Also a close door is often another that opens. Maybe you have a hobby or idea for a business and stuff, please dont be afraid to explore your internal resources.

STOP COMPARING YOURSLEF TO OTHERS, LIFE IS NOT A COMPETION. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and forget what matters. Have you ever thought about doing GRATITUDE LIST OR PRAYERS?
Basically list all the things you are grateful for that will sheer you up and help you see the glass half full and not half empty. When you compare yourself to other, your glass is always empty and you can enjoy the other full half. Stop doing that. We all go through things differently you know. Even the rich cry. Someone in your situation could be perfectly happy while those you envy may be under a lot of stress and just as depressed as you, you know. Maybe there are even people who have been trying t have children and cant.
I am not trying to put you down and tell you that there a people who have it worse than you, I hate when people do that because it invalidate you pain. YOUR PAIN IS VALID! What I have just trying to tell you is that we often think that the herb is greener on the other side and put ourselves down with pointless comparisons. Spend more them truly enjoying hwat you already have instead of dwelling on what you dont have. Love your son, your wife, your relatives.

Thirdly, stop blaming yourself for things BEYOND YOUR CONTROL!! We all know how the economy is especially in Africa. Milliosn have lost their jobs these past years and many are still jobless. If you look around you will see that many are unemployed too. Dont just stay focused on those who lives the high life and forget your blessing. if it makes you feel better, even I , have no job. I am just as jobless and my job prospects are very slim So you are a sucess form where I stand

I feel compelled to stop now because I think this post is too long lol

thanks alot. so so helpful, pls this is my email... adozuka@yahoo.com. mail me so maybe we can talk. thanks again.

bettermike: @ NENESLIM, I know exactly how you feel bro cos i've been there. I remember a time when things was realy realy rough for me. Most people seemed to be progressing but i was stagnant. A young man, who believed strongly in his business that sadly wasnt yielding at the time. I solely depended on my parents and my woman. Honestly, it was tough. Well, things are far better now. If you need someone to talk to everyday, please reach me via: *email removed*. I also feel like i need someone anonymous to talk to from time to time. It is well.

thanks mate.... couldnt find ur email adress again but here is mine. maybe we can talk. adozuka@YAHOO.COM

alutacontinua:

Hi dearie, how often do you ma*turbate?
Why do you hate it or feel guilty after?
How is your sexual life? I mean. With the opposite sex!


To all d depressed pple out der, one word I have for you is to focus on the positives in your life. I was thinking about the experiences I've read about here and started wondering why I've never even thought of killing myself before, despite the kinda childhood I had. I then realised it was because I always focus more on the positives in my life than the negatives. Each person's life is filled with both positives and negatives (maybe in different ratios) but what keeps you going is to know that there is someone out there that is worse than you are! Your life is a beautiful one and some other person would give the world to be 'you'!

Once again, there is always a positive! Dewll on that! Good morning!

You asked, "why do I feel guilty, whenever I masturbate?"
Is simply because, it's a sin.

neneslim: thanks alot. so so helpful, pls this is my email... adozuka@yahoo.com. mail me so maybe we can talk. thanks again.

You are welcome

Macelliot:
You asked, "why do I feel guilty, whenever I masturbate?"
Is simply because, it's a sin.

No it is not a sin and even if it is a sin SO WHAT Are there anyone out there who can cast the first stone to anyone??
It is you body, it is your choice.
Guilt is a huge depression trigger so stop feeling guilty for SIMPLY TRYING TO EXPLORE YOUR BODY AND SEXUALITY!!
Your are totally normal, trust me!!
Even foetuses in the womb do it

I SAY IN MY OP THAT THIS PLACE WAS A [[size=32pt]b]JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE [/b][/size]YET PEOPLE COME HERE AND CAST THE FIRST STONE ON OTHERS!!
[size=16pt]If you are not here to support others genuinely, you have nothing to here and I may have to call the mods to delete some comments!![/size]

[b]STOP JUDING OTHERS, YOU HAVE THE RELIGION SECTION FOR THAT!! [/b]Here is a place where people should be free to speak their heart without being judged. Most of you trying to INVALIDATE their feelings are part of the problems so GO AWAY!!

If you cant love your neighbours without playing the holier than thou act, you are not welcome here!

Hmm God help you @op buh my question is dis WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED..WHY? THE REASON FOR D DEPRESSION? THE HARD LIFE OR WHAT?

Ihedinobi: Hi people

Hi, don't be shy

Tbken: Hmm God help you @op buh my question is dis WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED..WHY? THE REASON FOR D DEPRESSION? THE HARD LIFE OR WHAT?

Like I said, it runs in my family
My uncle was very depressed too and died of an overdose in 2000
Depression is just like any disease like cancer. There are people who are predisposed to it while others are not
I can just try and cope with it

Hmm God help you @op buh my question is dis WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED..WHY? THE REASON FOR D DEPRESSION? THE HARD LIFE OR WHAT? GOD HELP YOU

Visit a native doctor. THey consider depression as a real illness and not a joke.

You will be cured of it.

depressionkills:

No it is not a sin and even if it is a sin SO WHAT Are there anyone out there who can cast the first stone to anyone??
It is you body, it is your choice.
Guilt is a huge depression trigger so stop feeling guilty for SIMPLY TRYING TO EXPLORE YOUR BODY AND SEXUALITY!!
Your are totally normal, trust me!!
Even foetuses in the womb do it

I SAY IN MY OP THAT THIS PLACE WAS A [[size=32pt]b]JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE [/b][/size]YET PEOPLE COME HERE AND CAST THE FIRST STONE ON OTHERS!!
[size=16pt]If you are not here to support others genuinely, you have nothing to here and I may have to call the mods to delete some comments!![/size]

[b]STOP JUDING OTHERS, YOU HAVE THE RELIGION SECTION FOR THAT!! [/b]Here is a place where people should be free to speak their heart without being judged. Most of you trying to INVALIDATE their feelings are part of the problems so GO AWAY!!

If you cant love your neighbours without playing the holier than thou act, you are not welcome here!

you can identify those posts you think are judgemental so they can be deleted or at least modified.

As for me I haven't seen any judgemental post so far except its part of those hidden.

litetias: When I was at Madonna, a fellow student commited suicide by stabbing himself with a knife and he left a suicide note that said he was tired of all the unhappiness. All I could hear from fellow students was critisicm directed at the boy with numerous statements like 'what kind of stupid boy, whatever situation he was in are there not people who are worse off?' and so on. All these sounded ignorant to me because I have always suffered from depression and I could understand what the boy would have felt like. My family, for example, have never understood that I suffer from an actual disease and when I once suggested I should see a psycholist their counter-idea was that I should go and see a priest for deliverance lol. On a more serious note Nigerians need to understand how debilitating depression can be and be supportive towards sufferers instead of being judgemental. On a lighter note I found a girl who understands what I go through and who is there 24/7 if I need to talk or ....

Everytime someone tells you that depression is not a 'real disease', please show them this picture


Depression does damage the brain. It is not simply about 'feeling sad'. It is a real disease that affects the brain and reduce the size of the hippocampus.

Ignorance is a killer!!

PAGAN 9JA:
Visit a native doctor. THey consider depression as a real illness and not a joke.

You will be cured of it.

Thanks

depressionkills:

Thanks

no problem.

Tbken: Hmm God help you @op buh my question is dis WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED..WHY? THE REASON FOR D DEPRESSION? THE HARD LIFE OR WHAT?

Depression has some physical part to it. Like imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain and all that! Although, there're environmental triggers, there are also biological causes.

Macelliot:
You asked, "why do I feel guilty, whenever I masturbate?"
Is simply because, it's a sin.

You did not answer my other questions....about your sexual life and how often you masturbate.

depressionkills:

Like I said, it runs in my family
My uncle was very depressed too and died of an overdose in 2000
Depression is just like any disease like cancer. There are people who are predisposed to it while others are not
I can just try and cope with it

realy sori about that buh i realy hope you are taking some preventive measures.....lonliness can trigger deppression.....Trying hard to perfect things also trigger it.....hating yourself also help to depress you... Dont knw what to say buh realy hope u become free from deppression

alutacontinua:

Depression has some physical part to it. Like imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain and all that! Although, there're environmental triggers, there are also biological causes.

yeah now i understand...its realy seriouse than what i thought...i just wish d op freedom from the damn ish

PAGAN 9JA:
Visit a native doctor. THey consider depression as a real illness and not a joke.

You will be cured of it.

Sister, what i understand here, whether sickness or not, is a Psychological problem. Bear this in mind, this world we are existing today is not the end of life. We are here for purification and atonement of sins, you can never guarantee yourself to be totally happy on this planet earth. Everybody get his/her own burden whether rich or poor, educated or illiterates, able or disable, this life is too short and very flirting to worry yourself to state of depression.
My advice is to look at the life from positive angle and know that everybody is having one garbage he/she is managing until the day you will die and start another process of life, depending on what you agreed with God and your soul to fulfill in your next life.
Bear this in mind. Thank you

neneslim: Hi, thanks for having a thread like this, am a young man of 27yrs marrif early dis year nd av been blessed with a son, i used to be a very fun person,i have one of the best job nd a car to go wit it. I lost my job jst afta i fixed the date of my wedding, it was ok cos i was sure am gonna get anoda one bt til nw i cnt nd my wife has been taking care of the family,it became embarassing cos of the way her mum tink of me nd luk at everytin i do,anytime she is around she makes me feel very little nd frm then i started shutting the doors of my life to myself,i stay alone nd tink of so many tins nd even wan commit suicide cos so many tins happen as a result of nt having a job again,u knw hw it cn be being a hight flying banker to being jobles nd broke,the only tin i ve i my house nd everytin in it nd the car. So many times i wan go out bt no one to hang out wit cos al my frnds are busy wit there jobs nd no one wil wan listen to ur problems, most times i end up driving to the fields close to my house nd seat there nd cry cos i dnt knw hw i became such an embarasment. I became a burden to ppl around me,my wife has been there bt u culd feel she is nt free to do wat she realy wan do cos of the fear of ha mum.i jst nid ppl to talk to nd hang out wit jst friends cos am scared of fallen into that dark hole of depression.thanks alot to whoeva wan listen.

Brother you are even lucky that you are still very young. You have a long way to go in your life. This is just a temporary setback. Be yourself, go out and get something doing, no matter how small.

Hmmm this thread..Depression such a very bad thing I was once so depressed before used to feel that way because I was not in university yet my mates were in finished 17.felt bad used to cry everyday wasn't looking after myself at some point I wanted to give up commit suicide or something..Neglection from friends was there just few friends stood by me then & family but I thank God gotten admission now but a part inside isn't still happy just yet my mates are already serving & all but they it is not how far but how well.Anyone going through depression have someone who can talk you through hang around with positive minded people

I feel sad all d time ....my parents don't c any good in me.....I don't have self confidence....I don't know aw to build my self esteem....I don't believe in my self..my mum says I v an ugly smile and I'm short... m 5 4 " by d way..I don't know who to talk to....I've been showered w so much negative words n I'm getting to believe them... pls I need help....

kayceemadug: I feel sad all d time ....my parents don't c any good in me.....I don't have self confidence....I don't know aw to build my self esteem....I don't believe in my self..my mum says I v an ugly smile and I'm short... m 5 4 " by d way..I don't know who to talk to....I've been showered w so much negative words n I'm getting to believe them... pls I need help....

Dearie, you mind dropping your contact?
Phone number or whatssap or BBM pin?

bibi1234: Hmmm this thread..Depression such a very bad thing I was once so depressed before used to feel that way because I was not in university yet my mates were in finished 17.felt bad used to cry everyday wasn't looking after myself at some point I wanted to give up commit suicide or something..Neglection from friends was there just few friends stood by me then & family but I thank God gotten admission now but a part inside isn't still happy just yet my mates are already serving & all but they it is not how far but how well.Anyone going through depression have someone who can talk you through hang around with positive minded people

I was In ur shoes...wrote jamb four times ...m not A dummy or so....my younger ones gained admission ....I was so depressed... lost friends....my parents were caustic...kept comparing me to my mates....I'm in schl nw they don't believe n me...BT I'd prove them wrng....u r d best dear.. there r no mates in destiny

alutacontinua:

Dearie, you mind dropping your contact?
Phone number or whatssap or BBM pin?

lovelykelly4you@gmail.com

kayceemadug: I was In ur shoes...wrote jamb four times ...m not A dummy or so....my younger ones gained admission ....I was so depressed... lost friends....my parents were caustic...kept comparing me to my mates....I'm in schl nw they don't believe n me...BT I'd prove them wrng....u r d best dear.. there r no mates in destiny

Well said no mates in destiny that's what people don't know.I thank God now

kayceemadug: I feel sad all d time ....my parents don't c any good in me.....I don't have self confidence....I don't know aw to build my self esteem....I don't believe in my self..my mum says I v an ugly smile and I'm short... m 5 4 " by d way..I don't know who to talk to....I've been showered w so much negative words n I'm getting to believe them... pls I need help....

I can only imagine what you are going through, the worst thing is if the ones who are supposed to be there for you are the ones against you.

All I can say is believe in yourself and prove them wrong by coming out successful in all things you lay your hands on. best of lucks.

kayceemadug: lovelykelly4you@gmail.com

You have a mail!

alutacontinua:
You did not answer my other questions....about your sexual life and how often you masturbate.

I don't think it's necessary.
Afterall, you are an opposite sex.
I don't think an opposite sex can give me a good & geniuned advice.