jeffizy: I think donroxy is right. It depends on the nature of both man and woman.
If the woman did not add any value to the man before he 'made it', then I don't think such man will value the wife.
On the flip side, a woman that marries an already successful man can still manage the man's funds judiciously and help him realise his potentials.
So, it is relative.

jeffizy: I think donroxy is right. It depends on the nature of both man and woman.
If the woman did not add any value to the man before he 'made it', then I don't think such man will value the wife.
On the flip side, a woman that marries an already successful man can still manage the man's funds judiciously and help him realise his potentials.
So, it is relative.

Fhemmmy:

How do you measure a woman that added value to the man while he is trying to make it? just cooking his food and not nagging him alone is an immense contribution.

armyofone:
No it is not to brothers. They prefer money and material things.

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armyofone: one big problem in Nigeria setting-marriage/reason why if the man dies they ask madam dearest to leave (with nothing).
madam not adding value, you mean money/material value? I think it is a wrong mindset for men to say they don't value their wife because she didn't add anything of value or contribute to his making it.
What if children are involved? Are children not valuable?

Fhemmmy: ^^^ That is so true, and i think it is time a woman stands her ground that as soon [size=14pt]as[/size] the man made it, request that you are set up yourself too, so that you could keep up with yourself and what is going on.

Once you can afford it, make sure you stay fit and dress well for yourself and your man.

Fhemmmy:

How do you measure a woman that added value to the man while he is trying to make it? just cooking his food and not nagging him alone is an immense contribution.

Efemena_xy: ^^ True that.

It's sad because from what I've been reading of late here, for the right price, many women will sell their self-respect to a man for material things + marriage.

fresh_dude: That's if they had any self-respect to begin with. Don't you find it odd that there are many threads in the Romance section regarding money, relationships and respect?
It is widespread custom to respect people based on their bank balance, God help the man with not a kobo to his name. Some of this disrespect from these nouveau riche husbands is just retaliation-probably they'd been disrespect by their wives when the going wasn't that good.
On the flipside, some men just have self-esteem issues where they assume a new 'jerk' identity when they come into money.

Efemena_xy:

Now the bolded bit says it all - and that's quite sad. Really sad.

What sort of lesson(s) will they teach their daughters? and sons?

Chillisauce:

Same lesson...marry a rich man..so I will shine in August meeting..blah blah blah.
Anyway, na dem Sabi!

jeffizy: When I said value, I meant contributions. Like adding her own ideas to the man's economic permutations, giving words of encouragement and showing apathy.
It's a broad way.

Efemena_xy:

Now I have a problem with the coloured bit of your statement.

Why should the woman wait until the man's made it before she stands her ground? So what should she do or be up to, until that point? The man's doormat? His unappreciated slave?

Do you say this for educated or uneducated women - come back here and clarify that bit pls!

Efemena_xy: Of course I know the meaning of standing one's ground. But you said as soon asthe man's made it!

Do you know the meaning of the phrase as soon as? Because the context within which you used it in your post implies that the woman should wait till the man's set himself up!

Why should she wait? Why should she put her life on hold? What if it takes the man forever, if ever, to set himself up? What then??

Fhemmmy:

Ok, would you prefer that the woman continue to stand her ground even after the man has made it, infact, even using that phrase of after the man has made it is making some nonsense crawling all over me, cos in reality, it is "as soon as they made it" cos one could not make it without the other, that is why they are called couple.

Efemena_xy:

I would prefer a woman to progress at her own pace, and not at a pace dictated by her husband, irrespective of whether he's 'made it' or not.

Yes, let using the phrase make some nonsense crawl all over you - then and just then, you'll might begin to see how subdued women with smothered aspirations and goals in life are made to give them up, just so that men like you can dictate when and how they should start living their lives, simply because they're married to the likes of you.

dayokanu: If the woman was making progress in her own life and career at the same time why wont she be respected

The ones that get disrespected most are those who have nothing going for them e.g Clara Chime

eggheaders:

Oga abeg come complaints thread for politics section joor.

dayokanu:

The albino don ban me from that section till monthend

dayokanu:

The albino don ban me from that section till monthend