My answers in purple

Some questions:

Do you miss him/her because of the things he did for you or do you miss him/her because of who he was (personality),

- Looking honestly I missed the things he did, calls, texts, cooking, making me feel good, kissing etc,


Do you miss the idea of having a boyfriend/girlfriend or do you miss having him in your life (personality),

- Honestly, I miss having a b/f before he serenaded me over and over and I finally agreed to go out with him, I had rational sense, and remember telling my friends that the type of guy he was what not what I was looking for, (I agreed because the things he did convinced me - and before everyone starts throwing their comments, it wasn't his money or gifts, I refused those, it was the way he'd always seem to have me first, call me in the morning, motivate me when I was feeling down etc)



Are you upset that you lost such a wonderful guy/girl (personality) or are you more upset because of the way it ended,

-Wow, now thinking about it, I knew my relationship had a high chance of it ending, but I unlike the ex was willing to work it through (our differences that is) and I never attached myself too much (I wasn't confessing my love to him, I was still trusting him and getting to know him) , I was honestly, more upset that he broke up with me, after him claiming I made such an impact in his life and that I am the one for him and he doesn't want to lose me.


Now, everybody who is still sulking about their last breakup, answer these questions in your posts, you may be surprised to realise that there really isn't any reason to be hung up about your ex.

Other questions:

If he came back to you and was still the same unchanged guy/girl would you jump into a relationship with him/her,

- Nope, he'd have had to work on his issues and prove through friendship that he had changed and was remorseful and was serious this time around.


Can you honestly say you believe he/her was the best thing that happened to you,

- Nope, he was just the first guy who managed to pull off the 'I'm ready for a serious committed, loving and caring relationship with you' trick on me.


I got some of these questions from friends who seeing me all messed up asked me these to really get me to put things into perspective.


Take care everyone
Peace and Love

you're still not over this guy ehn.

It's a phase now, it was my first serious relationship and I opened up more to him than anyone I ever knew, he took away a lot of my trust, but I'm not angry, every few days I just think about him, I'm getting there, but it takes time. I like to open up, rather than pretend to myself that I'm okay, but seriously this topic is to help others. If I didn't post it, I'd be reading it.

He was my first kiss too

One thing I can thank him for is helping me boost my post count on Nairaland! Whoot!

`when last have you heard from him?

12 days ago, but it's lame conversation.

I write a message about how I'm doing these days, 2 days pass he replies, being not able to access the computer daily back then, 5 days pass i reply, he replies a day later, ya get my drift.

I almost feel like I should apologise since it seems like I have been going on about this guy, and to be honest the way I am you'd think he was something special.

No need to apologize. I understand how you feel.

Just don thi k you should be sending him messages or reply after for at least a month

if i was the guy i would be afraid to come near you.

As if! You don't even know me. Now why would you be afraid? I'm only letting off some steam, I wasn't even hating, just being honest, you guys are making it seem like it's unnatural,

KarmaMod:

No need to apologize. I understand how you feel.

Just don thi k you should be sending him messages or reply after for at least a month

It's been two months.

We didn't message/speak/see for a whole month (when we live 5 mins away from each other).

OK OK , I'm not gonna take back the post, I'll lie for y'all sake,

"I TP am COMPLETELY over my Ex"

HAHAHAH  You will never get over that guy.  If he came back tomorrow you would jump on his back. 

Hmm! No wonder some guys are scared/skeptical of boning virgins.

topup:

As if! You don't even know me. Now why would you be afraid? I'm only letting off some steam, I wasn't even hating, just being honest, you guys are making it seem like it's unnatural,

Im sorry. Please forgive me. And I'm glad your steam is limited to the internet. Could be worse.

HCH3COO:

HAHAHAH You will never get over that guy. If he came back tomorrow you would jump on his back.

Hmm! No wonder some guys are scared/skeptical of boning virgins.


I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And I'm glad your steam is limited to the internet. Could be worse.

I don't understand why you felt compelled to write what you wrote. Who gave you the background info on my life hmm
Boning virgins, what does that have to do with getting over someone who made an impact in your life?

Any guy who is scared of 'boning virgins' is obviously one who wants to dip and go, otherwise he wouldn't mind her being addicted to what he has to offer.

This topic is not about sex, at all, not in the slightest.

I respected you 'til you felt it necessary to insult my feelings.

Not really insulting. You just sound very possessive.

AND NO! I would not jump back on him, because like I took the decision to LEAVE HIM, against the way my heart felt, I will also once again use my logic over my heart to see that if unchanged then he's just the same guy I decided to leave, not an improved version.

Thanks for your attempt at predicting me, but you are far from wrong. I did NOT say I wouldn't think about starting something again, but I am wise enough to see that it must start from the beginning, anew, afresh, from the start.

Though I doubt you'll believe me, I am NOT the possessive type, I have never received closure on that relationship. I don't know the reasons, the true reasons because he wasn't honest enough to come out with it.

I was not at all possessive and at the slight warning that he wasn't putting in his effort into the relationship, I let him go.

You heard that song by Mariah Carey 'Now you wanna be free, so I let you fly',
That's what I did.

But the problem is every once in a while I question why things are the way they are. When two people aren't speaking it is usually because of a misunderstanding I am a very reasonable person, and I always begged him to be frank with me, put feelings aside. I was met with reasons such as; "I don't know why myself" what the!!! Puh-lease gimme a break.

If I can't express myself on this forum, then where can I

topup:

AND NO! I would not jump back on him, because like I took the decision to LEAVE HIM, against the way my heart felt,

truly questionable.

I will also once again use my logic over my heart to see that if unchanged then he's just the same guy I decided to leave, not an improved version.

Thanks for your attempt at predicting me, but you are far from wrong. I did NOT say I wouldn't think about starting something again, but I am wise enough to see that it must start from the beginning, anew, afresh, from the start.

Too bad he's not here to defend himself. Let's hope you are truly able to start afresh.  So far, all the signs aren't in your favor.

Topup, it is good that you are getting to the point of being over him. I know it is a hard thing to go throw. Some days you miss him, other days you want to cuss him out. But you have to keep in mind that there is always something better out there.  But for now, i would try and figure out why im hurting so much so i don't end up going back.

HCH3COO:

truly questionable.

always using my lines.

like they say, hard to get over your first love,

topup:

Though I doubt you'll believe me, I am NOT the possessive type, I have never received closure on that relationship. I don't know the reasons, the true reasons because he wasn't honest enough to come out with it.

I was not at all possessive and at the slight warning that he wasn't putting in his effort into the relationship, I let him go.

You heard that song by Mariah Carey 'Now you want to be free, so I let you fly',
That's what I did.

But the problem is every once in a while I question why things are the way they are. When two people aren't speaking it is usually because of a misunderstanding I am a very reasonable person, and I always begged him to be frank with me, put feelings aside. I was met with reasons such as; "I don't know why myself" what the!!! Puh-lease gimme a break.

If I can't express myself on this forum, then where can I

My ribs hurt.  In bold, you are philosophizing - plato style.  Breakups should be made illegal.  I feel so bad over your heartbreak.

onyinye2:

always using my lines.

just jiving.

onyinye2:

Topup, it is good that you are getting to the point of being over him.

that's what i thought a month ago.

HCH3COO:

just jiving.

sayhi2ay:

like they say, hard to get over your first love,

you can say that again.

HCH3COO:

truly questionable.
Too bad he's not here to defend himself. Let's hope you are truly able to start afresh. So far, all the signs aren't in your favor.

Sometimes I truly wonder if you post to advice and help or to throw the harsh realities in the face of someone who needs to be consoled.

SO you have decided here is the time and place (board ) to 'be real' with me?

I truly wonder how I would have felt if I went to you for guidance during the intial stages of the break up.
Mannn you don't know anything about the guy, but you refuse to stay unbiased. Already I am the possessive girl, who makes guys think twice about 'boning virgins',

What these forums have taught me is to stay strong, though people may say things that may not be the most useful or helpful, you gotta stay strong.

In no way have I abused the guy, I am merely just saying my point of view, how I felt, opinions not facts.

I refuse to take this little hiccup personally,

topup:

Though I doubt you'll believe me, I am NOT the possessive type, I have never received closure on that relationship. I don't know the reasons, the true reasons because he wasn't honest enough to come out with it.

I was not at all possessive and at the slight warning that he wasn't putting in his effort into the relationship, I let him go.

You heard that song by Mariah Carey 'Now you want to be free, so I let you fly',
That's what I did.

But the problem is every once in a while I question why things are the way they are. When two people aren't speaking it is usually because of a misunderstanding I am a very reasonable person, and I always begged him to be frank with me, put feelings aside. I was met with reasons such as; "I don't know why myself" what the!!! Puh-lease gimme a break.

If I can't express myself on this forum, then where can I

Possessive people hardly ever admit it. Usually just pops up in their behavior. The guy expressed his feelings and you told hi to give you a break? i would be hurt too.

HCH3COO:

Possessive people hardly ever admit it. Usually just pops up in their behavior. The guy expressed his feelings and you told hi to give you a break? i would be hurt too.

Acid man stop jiving with the girl. She is hurting and is trying to get over that. give her a break.

I can understand if people think I am obssessing over him and I am a bit,

I naturally have an analytical personality, I am very fascinated with why people behave the way they do. This has been bugging me 'cos I can't figure it out. I guess I'll have to call it a lose. Maybe in future he'll tell me the truth. Anyways, it's not that I'm over doing it, I just like to surf the romance board, and I go through Nairaland phases where I will the stay the whole night and reply to every single topic on the board, over 20 in 2 hours! And if they have questions relating to relationships, guess what am gonna use as a reference, mine!!

I can see why people think I am going onnnnnn about it, but anyways, that's my explanation for it.

topup:

I can understand if people think I am obssessing over him and I am a bit,

I naturally have an analytical personality, I am very fascinated with why people behave the way they do. This has been bugging me 'because I can't figure it out. I guess I'll have to call it a lose. Maybe in future he'll tell me the truth. Anyways, it's not that I'm over doing it, I just like to surf the romance board, and I go through Nairaland phases where I will the stay the whole night and reply to every single topic on the board, over 20 in 2 hours! And if they have questions relating to relationships, guess what am going to use as a reference, mine!!

I can see why people think I am going onnnnnn about it, but anyways, that's my explanation for it.

dont you wanna admit your are obsessing over him ?

topup:

Sometimes I truly wonder if you post to advice and help or to throw the harsh realities in the face of someone who needs to be consoled.

You always wonder.  You should be a philosopher.

SO you have decided here is the time and place (board ) to 'be real' with me?

I truly wonder how I would have felt if I went to you for guidance during the intial stages of the break up.
Mannn you don't know anything about the guy, but you refuse to stay unbiased. Already I am the possessive girl, who makes guys think twice about 'boning virgins',

What these forums have taught me is to stay strong, though people may say things that may not be the most useful or helpful, you gotta stay strong.

In no way have I abused the guy, I am merely just saying my point of view, how I felt, opinions not facts.

I refuse to take this little hiccup personally,

You don't understand the virgin comment  
I'm glad this forum has been very helpful to you.  An unbiased perspective is sometimes a good thing, so I don't consider it a flaw.

and you probably cant still stand the fact that he broke up with you,

goodluck tope. hope you find a man that understand how special you are .

@topup
I been where you been. It aint a good feeling at all. You have so many questions, but the person to answer it is not there.You wonder if things could have gone different. You think about him all the time even when you don't want to. You think you are obsessing over him but you are not. It is just that he has a hold on you. Emotionally.

sayhi2ay:

don't you want to admit your are obsessing over him ?

that's what i was thinking.  possessive and obsessive.  counting the secondths it takes the guy to reply her mails, etc.