Hey all. I joined this forum about a month ago but this is my first real thread. I want to know what your opinion is on a certain situation. Names and locations have been changed just in case someone on here knows me. Lol. Ok here is the deal,


A while ago I moved to a new city (a pretty big one) after gettng my undergrad degree. I also ended up joining a new church. At that time, I had a bf that I had been dating for about two and a half years but that relationship was on its last legs. Basically, he was still in the city I had moved from and was completing his degree. So anyways, I kind of wanted a new beginning. New job, city, etc, 

So after a couple of weeks of attending this new church, I saw this guy that I thought was cute. Keep in mind that at that time I was pretty shy. I remember being introduced to him and noticing a few sparks. Eventually, a little crush formed. Let's call him Oye. Oye is tall, about 6'2 (which I like cause I'm kinda tall for a girl). He's dark skinned and I'm sure he has a nice body. He voice is kinda gruff which some might find annoying but I think its sexy.  Every Sunday that I'd see him, we had great convo etc,  nothing too deep and nothing to major. Let me just say that I've never had to chase a guy. Never have and never will (hopefully  lol)

So anyways, pretty soon I was curious as to wether or not this guy had a girlfriend. I didn't want to ask him straight up cause that would be too obvious. I coudn't ask some of the girls at the church cause I didn't know them too well either plus, imo, that would be obvious too. So as time passed nothing ever materialized with this guy but friendly once a week talks. Eventually I learned that Oye had a longtime girlfriend. As soon as I found this out, I let the crush go. Theres nothing worse to me than lusting after another girls man, its not me and honestly girls who do that are desperate imo. Nothing can make a guy more unattractive to than finding out that he has a girlfriend - just my opinion. After that, there was no communication but a simple hello and I'd keep it moving. So anyways, things ended with my bf at the time and I started dating someone else.


So cut to a few months later.Oye is now single but I was still with the new guy. Apparently he proposed to his gf not too long after I found out she existed, and she accepted. But for whatever reason, they broke up and its over. Its been about 4 months since they broke up. Aparently, they were on one of their many breaks when I first met him but the end of their engagement was final. Apperently, no one in his family really liked her and she had issues, I'm sure there is another version of the story but no one really knows what happend

A while back he was at a picnic that I attended. At that picnic, Oye and I ended up talking for a long ass time. So much so that other people around us were wondering what was up. The conversation started with us talking about his career path (medicine). Even when there was nothing to talk about he still hung around. Someone eventually commented that they had never seen him talk that much to one person ever. At that point, in a joking manner,  i asked him why he was talking to me so much. He answered that he always enjoyed talking to me but that he noticed a  while back that I had become 'cold' with him and wasnt as friendly to him. He made me promise to tell him the  real reason why that was.

Seeing as to how I was dating and wasn't interested in him anymore (ok maybe i was a little  bit  ) i decided to be honest even though i wanted to lie. At this point, my friends were motioning to me that they were ready to go. So i told him that i used to have a crush on him but once i found out he had a gf the crush was over. He looked at me, paused and told me that he had had a crush on me too.

Now I feel pretty dumb about how I handled that situation cause I abrubtly told him I had to leave with my gfs and bounced. We never finished that conversation  . Since then, Ive had tons of questions in my head about what he meant specifically cause he had a gf at the time.

fastforward one month. I'm single now and so is he. Since the picnic, we talk to each other when we see each other and I'm not going to lie, I flirt with him. But then again I've been told by guys that liked me in the past that I don't flirt enough. Apparently its hard to figure out whether I like a guy. At a recent outing with a bunch of people, Oye was there. I caught him watching me a couple times. I know the ladies on here know what its like to realize that a guy is using every opportunity he can without being to obvious to stand next to you in a group etc,  Also, when the people who I came with were ready to leave he mad a big deal about us staying saying that things woudn't be the same if we left etc,  Finally, he insisted on giving me a ride home even though my ride lives down the street from me. The conversation in the car was cool but I was really nervous. Nothing too major to report there.

So, after reading that long ass essay, lol, here is my question. This guy has been single for 6 months but he hasn't made a move. No can I call you, would you like to go out, nothing. From what I heard, he hasn't asked anyone else out either. Am I waiting for something that's never going to happen or should I stick it out? I mean he can't be that shy can he? He's very attractive imo. I mean I don't have a lot of experience with Nigerian guys so I don't know what to think. Or perhaps he's not over his ex? I know there must be tons of girls after him considering his career path.

Sorry for my rambling  but what do you guys think?

I enjoyed this your story my sista oooooooooo for your honesty, I was in your shoes kinda but we ended up dating and still dating, I think he will date you for real, where do you people reside. gurl, have faith, keep me posted, by the way, you are a good writer, although kinda long, you blended it in a good and interesting way

kem:

Apparently its hard to figure out whether I like a guy. At a recent outing with a bunch of people, Oye was there. I caught him watching me a couple times. I know the ladies on here know what its like to realize that a guy is using every opportunity he can without being to obvious to stand next to you in a group etc, Also, when the people who I came with were ready to leave he mad a big deal about us staying saying that things woudn't be the same if we left etc, Finally, he insisted on giving me a ride home even though my ride lives down the street from me. The conversation in the car was cool but I was really nervous.

So, after reading that long ass essay, lol, here is my question. This guy has been single for 6 months but he hasn't made a move. No can I call you, would you like to go out, nothing. From what I heard, he hasn't asked anyone else out either.

My guess is he's unsure of your reaction, especially with that nervous car ride. He didn't have to give u a ride, he probably sensed some discomfort and shut it all down. Remember he's coming off a broken engagement. I'd say flirt a little more and see what happens.

Hotstepper:

where do you people reside.

I'll take a random guess and say Los Angeles.

Dis story is damn too long.

Can someone pls summarize it.

i guess the guy is takin his time to get the perfect girl for him.he doesn't want to end up with someone that he'll end up breaking it up.If the guy is really worth it then you could hang on.it happened to me and i'm still wit the guy.and as for the flirt tips you could search for some thru google. goodluck pal

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I'm just going to lay low and stay patient.



-mochafella : no its not LA.

the story is fucking too long,pple like me need concise and summarised stories.

yobo:

the story is fucking too long,people like me need concise and summarised stories.

No you don't, youre just intellectually lazy.

As for my take on the topic, i think you have a great thing going on there with "oye". apparently you like him and he likes you but is nervous about asking you out just yet. remember he is coming off a long term relationship that almost ended with an engagement, it wont be easy for him to just jump into another relationship so soon.

Take your time, let him know u're available but hang in there. no point getting discouraged and then finding out later you just skipped town about the time he was going to make a move on you.

yeah i agree. take ur time. A guy that has gone that for with engagement and all that will not be so eager to get in to another one. so girl take ur time. hope everything works out fine

mumu girl . you'll lose him again. be sharp and give him a call.

c0dec:

mumu girl . you'll lose him again. be sharp and give him a call.

not fair

c0dec:

mumu girl . you'll lose him again. be sharp and give him a call.

lol, this is y i'm in love with you _{bdw, sup with u?}

nuffin much!

who's been talkin to you?

hmph , noone u know, so waka pass

lol, ma bamisoro jor

onyoshi

onyiara

Can someone pls summerize the freaking story, I'm too lazy to read to whole thing

onyiberibe, u kodjoe-kwadu wannabe reject

@ Lauryn, lmaoooooooooo ori okpe, oshi

u nana-kwe wannabe,heyyyyyyyyy, sharrap!

o rly?

sup my husband?

hey sweetheart. me ok. we've just been missing each other. i'm about to enter that busy train again. so i'm going to be missing for the next month.

@ post
sounds very interesting, u might try breaking d ice by agreeing to chat like 'r u on facebook, can i add u on' then gradually move to emails nd grad fone calls, but u need to be smart nd sharp before anoda gal help u drink d gari wey u soak nd travel,

he might just be scared of anoda rejection that is why he is slowing down a bit, but u be patient nd keep ya eyes open, u hia me

a case where you are so interested in a girl at first she also shows that she is interested and things was working well, later she just became something else you try to ask her What was wrong but she wouldn't tell you anything

@ post

yeah i feel you, any way look at it this way, its obvious he is not just looking for a girl friend but a wife, so he is taking
his time, just calm down and wait, if possible try and get more closer to him while still keeping your head above the water.
best of luck.

pssst

this is to the last two posters


READDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

this post it TWO YEARS OLD!!!