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Strictly For Matured Minds - Family - Nairaland

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Married Men And Women,and matured minds,i Kindly Need Your View On This. / Am Married He Wont Stop Calling Me, What Do I Do Please.for Matured Minds Only. / Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! (2) (3) (4)

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Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 2:05pm On Nov 08, 2014
G
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by mooremedia: 2:14pm On Nov 08, 2014
My advice to you,
is to re-write your post in a more understandable manner.
then we can help you.

14 Likes

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by SweetyZinta(f): 2:16pm On Nov 08, 2014
I like d fact dat u're both working but d age is wat am concern abt @26 her friends will be like, get married and settle down. Pressure everywhere i tell u don't b selfish or else u'll loose her 4good.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by clara472: 2:24pm On Nov 08, 2014
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by gede7744(f): 2:25pm On Nov 08, 2014
by 2016 she will be 28 how are we sure if she wait that long u will still marry her?

some have done that and they ended up regretting it

if u want to marry her then do so since u both are financially ok or else let her look else where

all those WAIT for me promises dey get k-leg l beg
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 2:43pm On Nov 08, 2014
First of all, learn how to write appropriately, so people can understand without trying to solve a puzzle. Your shorthand hurts the eyes.

You call her your fiancée; meaning you have proposed marriage to her and she has accepted. What stops you guys from discussing the way forward and agreeing on when to tie the knot? You can tell total strangers on here about your marital plans but can't discuss with your fiancée? What exactly is your reason for not wanting to get married next year? Is she aware of these reasons? How long have you two been together?

Truthfully, if you have not given her any good reasons for not wanting to get married next year, then I wouldn't blame her for insisting it's done next year. You donot expect her to read your mind, do you? Moreover, she will be 27 by next year. She is educated and has a job, she doesn't see any reason for any delay whatsoever. If it's that you are not psychologically/mentally ready for such commitment, then tell her just that. She can either decide to stay till you "come around" or leave. Her choice.

You stay with your parents because of "house chores and all"? Come on, you are 27, working and earning averagely, you should be independent. Rent a place of your own, learn to be responsible for yourself, pay your bills and make your daily decisions independently. Have a taste of bachelor hood while you can. You can always visit them as often as you want.

2 Likes

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 2:58pm On Nov 08, 2014
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Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Eddymech: 3:04pm On Nov 08, 2014
See why am against dating someone whose age is so close ?
So she didn't see any 30 year old guy
Pls don't let anyone force you into settling down against your wish,the end of it is not always good
If she can't wait let her go

1 Like

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by helen4(f): 3:04pm On Nov 08, 2014
A small start leads to greater ending. What u're scared of is not house chores but how to run your own things. You don't need to overdo things. At her age, she won't take things easy with you cos the pressure will be too much on her. Bro. Cut your clothe according to your material.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 3:06pm On Nov 08, 2014
Op, are you afraid of commitment? You call her your 'Madam', your 'Fiancee'. that means you have engaged her so i dnt see how the So called "Chores" in your home has to do with not getting married. Is there something else you are hiding? are you trying to say you are not psychologically ready for marriage? Be truthful.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by gede7744(f): 3:10pm On Nov 08, 2014
sweet2blv:
point of correction, she will be 28 by then. Beside, told her we can do our intro towards next year ending


any how just don't put her in "am coming" mode
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 3:17pm On Nov 08, 2014
A
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by AfricanApple(f): 3:40pm On Nov 08, 2014
gede7744:
by 2016 she will be 28 how are we sure if she wait that long u will still marry her?

some have done that and they ended up regretting it

if u want to marry her then do so since u both are financially ok or else let her look else where

all those WAIT for me promises dey get k-leg l beg
why did u speak my mind na sad this is one of d reasons some ladies are 30 and still single

op, u can imagine d kind of pressure she will be getting from family and friends by this time.
If I may ask what's keeping u till 2016 cos I see no difference btw now and then except dat ur lady will be getting older and older.
try not to be selfish, think about her own feelings as well, though I'm not saying force yourself to do what u don't want to do but u guys have to sit, talk and know whatsup.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by EfemenaXY: 3:42pm On Nov 08, 2014
sweet2blv:
point of correction, she will be 28 by then. Beside, told her we can do our intro towards next year ending. Just to add to it, I'm presently doing my MBA as well as CCNP certification n both r takin much from me

What is it with Nigerians and the rush to get married?

Guy, you don't even sound ready. Just tell her how you feel and if she feels she can't hang around, waiting for you to come around, then let her go. Marriage isn't about how soon, but how well.

You even live with your parents for crying out loud.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 3:50pm On Nov 08, 2014
op, you haven't given any tangible reason why you can't get married nxt yr..You stay with your parents because of chores?? hmmmmm lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

you really don't love that girl because if you do, you will be yearning to have her forever but here she is begging you to take her to the altar. Too bad.. not even like you ain't financially ok... I hope you don't end up jilting her..

Also, why did you engage her when you ain't ready for marriage?


I don talk my own but it will be best if you guys reach a compromise so that both parties will be cool..

Goodluck
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 3:55pm On Nov 08, 2014
U
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by saladeenstz(m): 3:57pm On Nov 08, 2014
common why should she be telling you to marry her next year? Did the lady woo you? If she cant wait for you let her go, this is how you know if she loves you...

And you're saying you dont want to lose her.. then find a way to get rich & marry her!

1 Like

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 4:03pm On Nov 08, 2014
Z
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 4:05pm On Nov 08, 2014
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Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by An0nimus: 4:07pm On Nov 08, 2014
OP mbok no ever tell person say you no wan leave your papa house because of 'chores' again...never ever. package the yarns like you later come dey do am so say your junior ones plenty for back and you dey try support you hear me so?

I serious.

About your other matter. no comment.

2 Likes

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 4:13pm On Nov 08, 2014
sweet2blv:
thanks frnd, what I mean is dt, I ot to get accommodation bt I dislike cookin n washing of clothes and my fiancee is far from my destination. I'm presently workin and doing my MBA as well as CCNP. So, I hardly av time fo all those bt I shd b done wt dem by nxt year. My monthly earning is $800 and I have younger ones presently looking upto me.bt by next year, d load wl b abit rlvd.

Hmm. Have you explained all of these you are saying to her? You also have financial responsibilities to take care of. Are you the first child or son? The truth is you will always have financial demands on you. You wont be relieved unless people dependent on you eventually become independent or you have a way of prioritising your finances. You will need to choose what is most important to you and try not to overburden yourself with too many responsibilities. You have certifications to pursue. Fine. go for that. I always feel men who have people depending on them should not start relationships they know they cannnot sustain and take further to the altar. I cannot tell you not to care for your younger ones either. You will need to let your fiancee go if she cannot wait.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Wendy80(f): 4:23pm On Nov 08, 2014
sweet2blv:
Met my fiancee late lst year n wev bn doin fine witot leavin behind som good moments n horrible ones wc wev bn able to ironed out quite well. I'm 27 while she 26 with both of us working with average salaries to mention. What really brot me here is dt, sinx d begining of ds month, my fiancee hs always bn sayin to my hearin of her friends weddin n some,introduction of wc I know wot she is really upto bt I'm nt presently tinkin of marriage till probably 2016 of wc she once told me she mst marry nxt year. I need ppl of great intellect to rub mind wt. I'm presently staying wt my parents nt because I can't afford 200k fo house rent bt jst because of house chores n d likes.Here is nw my madam sayin we shd wed nxt year bt I'm nt prepared fo it n I dnt wnt to lose her. Wot do I do pls?

Why would u engage a girl when marriage isn't close. More like tying her down when other suitors might be interested in her. If u can't marry her now what makes u think 2016 is possible?

3 Likes

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 5:40pm On Nov 08, 2014
sweet2blv:
thanks frnd, what I mean is dt, I ot to get accommodation bt I dislike cookin n washing of clothes and my fiancee is far from my destination. I'm presently workin and doing my MBA as well as CCNP. So, I hardly av time fo all those bt I shd b done wt dem by nxt year. My monthly earning is $800 and I have younger ones presently looking upto me.bt by next year, d load wl b abit rlvd.

sweet2blv:
I wl b travelin dwn to see her tomrw so I can mk tins clear to her n mk her understnd y she needs to chill abit fo me. Jst can't loose her bt I av to b fully ready sinx she is even of the opinion of avin an elaborate weddin

@Bolded; Now, those are valid reasons. These are the things you two need to sit down and talk about. Lay your cards on the table and reach a compromise with her. Any reasonable lady that has your interest at heart will understand.

I still don't get why your reason for living with your parents is cooking and house chores. Are they supposed to care for you forever? Don't you want to cater for yourself at some point? lipsrsealed

You girl wants an elaborate wedding? I hope she is willing and able to sponsor it. undecided

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Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by damiso(f): 7:38pm On Nov 08, 2014
Explain all you have explained here to her.
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by okabe(m): 7:52pm On Nov 08, 2014
Op, you have only told us why you want to settle down come 2016, you haven't mentioned anything about why your fiance is adamant on wedding ASAP...and like my Pops would always say, no wise man judges a case with only one view. So, until you feed us that information, you might not get the appropriate aid you need
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by sweet2blv: 11:23pm On Nov 08, 2014
T

1 Like

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 7:24pm On Nov 09, 2014
sweet2blv:
Met my fiancee late lst year n wev bn doin fine witot leavin behind som good moments n horrible ones wc wev bn able to ironed out quite well. I'm 27 while she 26 with both of us working with average salaries to mention. What really brot me here is dt, sinx d begining of ds month, my fiancee hs always bn sayin to my hearin of her friends weddin n some,introduction of wc I know wot she is really upto bt I'm nt presently tinkin of marriage till probably 2016 of wc she once told me she mst marry nxt year. I need ppl of great intellect to rub mind wt. I'm presently staying wt my parents nt because I can't afford 200k fo house rent bt jst because of house chores n d likes.Here is nw my madam sayin we shd wed nxt year bt I'm nt prepared fo it n I dnt wnt to lose her. Wot do I do pls?
[b]YOUR STYLE OF WRITING IS AN INSULT TO "MATURE MINDS"

1 Like

Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Danhumprey: 11:01pm On Nov 09, 2014
Odilafta:

[b]YOUR STYLE OF WRITING IS AN INSULT TO "MATURE MINDS"
Lobatan!!!angry


Gbam!



Daz all!grin
Re: Strictly For Matured Minds by Nobody: 10:38am On Nov 10, 2014
op, why saying you can't do chores? You don't want to move out of your parents cos of chores... you don't want to start staying alone now cos you can't do chores and your financee doesn't live close.... So I presume your mum or siblings do the washings et al for you? ? Nawa ooo


what if you have to help your wife in the future? ? please try and learn, it will come handy during marriage. ...

1 Like

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