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In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? - Family - Nairaland

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In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by UnclePutin: 12:52pm On Aug 01, 2016
Who takes custody of the children in a traditional marriage setup? The marriage produced 2 kids: 2 years and 9 months old. The two partners have agreed to suspend traditional marriage severance actions till the last child is about 18 months old.

Either party has the capacity, financially and otherwise, to cater for the kids without child support from the other partner or relatives. The man wants to have custody of the kids allowing their mother to see them when she wants but must be in line with the dictates of the kids' leisure time and his approval.

What does our law say about this and what is the best way to go about such?

NB: The marriage has no church nor court entanglements... it was done only traditionally.

cc: lalasticlala, please let country people chuk mouth inside this matter.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by ladyF(f): 12:59pm On Aug 01, 2016
Both

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by delishpot: 1:02pm On Aug 01, 2016
Even if there was no court wedding, a partner who is not happy with the terms can go to court.
Chosing the best person to have custody of the kids would depend the lifestyle of both parents.
Eg, whose job allows more time to be in the kids lives, whose lifestyle is better for child development, whose environment would protect the child from abuse and trauma etc.
On no account should pride and ego influence the parents custody battle. They should allow for what is best for the children.
Ex partners shouldn't expose kids to abusive lovers and care givers.

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Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 1:12pm On Aug 01, 2016
The woman gets custody irrespective of the type of wedding carried out

Even if the man gets custody based on customary rights, all the woman needs to do is walk to any court and prove that she can cater for both kids for the man to get issued custody orders


Very few judges will give custody to the man if both can prove equally competent to cater for the kids except when the divorce was initiated by the man on the ground's of infidelity

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Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by LivinaPatrick(f): 1:15pm On Aug 01, 2016
Very young relationship is talking abt divorce,of course u'll keep on getting divorced in ur fort coming union. Well,to d matter on ground... Still browsing abt it.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by matrixmuzi: 1:22pm On Aug 01, 2016
Go and mend your marriage. You people foolishly don't know what those children will pass through. I have my experience and will never allow you destroy those kids future .U can separate for while. Sure u guys don't know what divorce is all about. Sooner or later one of u will regret this. If u both are not ready for marriage why bring those to suffer. Some times some people need to be put a bullet in their head.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Benjom(m): 1:26pm On Aug 01, 2016
Lawyers in the house, over to you... but why break in the first place?
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 1:51pm On Aug 01, 2016
Why do men hustle for these kids when very few can carter for them single handedly without dumping them for one Jezebel or the other? Just leave the kids for their mother and do the visiting.

3 Likes

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by JustHere2Observ(f): 4:24pm On Aug 01, 2016
If its just traditional marriage, then the man but if it is registry then the court decides.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by delishpot: 10:00pm On Aug 01, 2016
JustHere2Observ:
If its just traditional marriage, then the man but if it is registry then the court decides.

We have a court in Nigeria. That a woman marries traditionally doesn't strip her of her right to conteat any activity that she feels would negatively impact her or her kids Na.

3 Likes

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by cococandy(f): 1:41am On Aug 02, 2016
Is this even a question? A 2 year old and nine month old?

Will the man take care of them like their mom will?

Or he just wants to take the kids to prove a point and then end up dumping them for his mother or sister or new wife to take care of for him.

Pls whoever is involved should kindly leave those children to stay with their mother and the father can go visit them when he wants. Until we start training men to provide the type of care mothers do for their kids, the question of who should take underage kids in the case of a divorce should never arise.

3 Likes

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by cococandy(f): 1:43am On Aug 02, 2016
byvan03:
Why do men hustle for these kids when very few can carter for them single handedly without dumping them for one Jezebel or the other? Just leave the kids for their mother and do the visiting.

They do it to satisfy their egos. If they really love and care about those kids, they'll do what's best for them.

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by misspicy(f): 5:30am On Aug 02, 2016
LivinaPatrick:
Very young relationship is talking abt divorce,of course u'll keep on getting divorced in ur fort coming union. Well,to d matter on ground... Still browsing abt it.
A lot of things leads to divorce no matter how young the marriage is, nobody should be forced to stay in an abusive marriage in the guise of the marriage is still young **remember you only live once**


To the matter at hand,its better the mother have custody of this kids because

1)They are still too young to be left uncared for or given to another woman,when their own mother is stil very much alive
(btw,what type of mother allows a man take custody of her toddlers? una no dey read news,remember Musa was castrated by his step mum..smh)

2)Their mother is very much capable financially,mentality and physically.

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by cococandy(f): 6:42am On Aug 02, 2016
Even grounds of infidelity is never a reason under the law to take young kids for their mother's care. No sane judge will saction that.
Suprnov3r:
The woman gets custody irrespective of the type of wedding carried out

Even if the man gets custody based on customary rights, all the woman needs to do is walk to any court and prove that she can cater for both kids for the man to get issued custody orders


Very few judges will give custody to the man if both can prove equally competent to cater for the kids except when the divorce was initiated by the man on the ground's of infidelity

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 9:29am On Aug 02, 2016
Anybody can take the kids, it's all about arrangements, if the husband does not want his wife to have sole custody of the kids, then he shouldn't give them to her, he must have his reasons, they can even share custody...
The rule of equality already says no gender is better skilled in the art of Child rearing, some impetuous people have already opined that gay couples can train children just as well....
Id advice the man to take the kids, the madam can come visit the kids anytime she likes...

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Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 9:38am On Aug 02, 2016
byvan03:
Why do men hustle for these kids when very few can carter for them single handedly without dumping them for one Jezebel or the other? Just leave the kids for their mother and do the visiting.

1. what makes you think the man cannot handle the kids singlehandedly?
2. What makes you think the woman would do a better job than the man.
3. Why do you even think any other woman apart from the wife is a Jezebel?
4. How do you know the woman intends to take care of the kids alone and not seek the help of another "jezebel"..

In fact, just answer question 1 ND 2

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Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 9:54am On Aug 02, 2016
njokusboy:


1. what makes you think the man cannot handle the kids singlehandedly?
2. What makes you think the woman would do a better job than the man.
3. Why do you even think any other woman apart from the wife is a Jezebel?
4. How do you know the woman intends to take care of the kids alone and not seek the help of another "jezebel"..

In fact, just answer question 1 ND 2



You and I know that these questions are meaningless in terms of what's obtainable when most men gain custody. I don't bother on obviously sentimental logic , it's a waste of time.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 9:58am On Aug 02, 2016
byvan03:




You and I know that these questions are meaningless in terms of what's obtainable when most men gain custody. I don't bother on obviously sentimental logic , it's a waste of time.

Lol... Just say you cannot answer the question precisely....

You see the bold, that is "obvious sentimental logic"...
Answer question one and I deactivate my account right away...

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 10:04am On Aug 02, 2016
cococandy:


They do it to satisfy their egos. If they really love and care about those kids, they'll do what's best for them.


Exactly, am sure you read Adaobi's thread about two innocent toddlers that come to school starving, go home by themselves and sometimes stay alone till whenever their father decides to grace them with his presence.

The little boy that was chained inside a church was courtesy of step mum and biological father. You remember the man that threw his daughter inside a well in the name taking custody? What of little Musa that was nearly unmanned by his father 's witch?

Surely there are several isolated incidence that we don't get to hear. They should just leave these kids for their biological mothers and not ruin their lives in the name of spite or ego angry.

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 10:07am On Aug 02, 2016
njokusboy:


Lol... Just say you cannot answer the question precisely....

You see the bold, that is "obvious sentimental logic"...
Answer question one and I deactivate my account right away...


Your questions are obvious waste of my time,believe what you want to believe and let my convictions be.
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 10:17am On Aug 02, 2016
byvan03:



Exactly, am sure you read Adaobi's thread about two innocent toddlers that come to school starving, go home by themselves and sometimes stay alone till whenever their father decides to grace them with his presence.

The little boy that was chained inside a church was courtesy of step mum and biological father. You remember the man that threw his daughter inside a well in the name taking custody? What of little Musa that was nearly unmanned by his father 's witch?

Surely there are several isolated incidence that we don't get to hear. They should just leave these kids for their biological mothers and not ruin their lives in the name of spite or ego angry.

1.Did you also read the story of the woman who killed her 2 daughters to punish her husband?
2.Did you read the story of the woman who strangled her baby son months after murdering her daughter?
3.What about the one that trampled her daughter to death?
No?

2 Likes

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by Nobody: 10:24am On Aug 02, 2016
byvan03:



Your questions are obvious waste of my time,believe what you want to believe and let my convictions be.

Did is not about belief woman, you cannot answer my questions because you either do not have an answer or aren't smart enough to beat around the bush....
This is a public forum so don't expect your biased convictions to go unquestioned...
You want to award custody to a woman in a divorce mess without knowing the circumstamces surrounding the divorce or even the details of the marriage because she is what? Mother Theresa of Calcutta?
ND you talk of obvious sentimental logic?
Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by TV01(m): 11:07am On Aug 02, 2016
njokusboy:
The rule of equality already says no gender is better skilled in the art of Child rearing, some impetuous people have already opined that gay couples can train children just as well....
grin grin grin grin grin
You mean those with 1 dimensional brains and 2 sided mouths who purvey godlessness in 3D? They know who they are. Make I tanda for here small jare.

TV

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by cococandy(f): 3:07pm On Aug 02, 2016
I don't remember seeing the adaobi's thread but I'm quite sure it's only one out of the very many that don't even make the news.

I've said it before and keep saying, any human being who thinks they can take my underage child/ren from me should be prepared to murder me first. Because that's the only way I'm letting go. I read these stories about the moms who aren't with their little kids for years and I wonder how they sleep at night. I can't.

Me give up my child to become someone's object of venting their frustrations on just to satisfy a chauvinist culture that only caters to the man's ego but care nothing for the wellbeing of the little ones in question.

Odiegwu.

The same people that froth at the mouth when you mention men and childcare in the same sentence are the same that will suddenly support the man having the kids in the case of a divorce.

Until they are ready to nurse babies like moms do, there's no question that about little kids going to their moms. One can't and shouldn't stupidly jeopardize the little kids to satisfy egos or be politically correct.
When they are readying for child care, we will know. Until then we ain't using our babies as a social experiment.




byvan03:



Exactly, am sure you read Adaobi's thread about two innocent toddlers that come to school starving, go home by themselves and sometimes stay alone till whenever their father decides to grace them with his presence.

The little boy that was chained inside a church was courtesy of step mum and biological father. You remember the man that threw his daughter inside a well in the name taking custody? What of little Musa that was nearly unmanned by his father 's witch?

Surely there are several isolated incidence that we don't get to hear. They should just leave these kids for their biological mothers and not ruin their lives in the name of spite or ego angry.

1 Like

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 3:19pm On Aug 02, 2016
cococandy:
I don't remember seeing the adaobi's thread but I'm quite sure it's only one out of the very many that don't even make the news.

I've said it before and keep saying, any human being who thinks they can take my underage child/ren from me should be prepared to murder me first. Because that's the only way I'm letting go. I read these stories about the moms who aren't with their little kids for years and I wonder how they sleep at night. I can't.

Me give up my child to become someone's object of venting their frustrations on just to satisfy a chauvinist culture that only caters to the man's ego but care nothing for the wellbeing of the little ones in question.

Odiegwu.

Re: In The Event Of Divorce, Who Takes Custody Of The Children? by byvan03: 3:22pm On Aug 02, 2016
cococandy:
I don't remember seeing the adaobi's thread but I'm quite sure it's only one out of the very many that don't even make the news.

I've said it before and keep saying, any human being who thinks they can take my underage child/ren from me should be prepared to murder me first. Because that's the only way I'm letting go. I read these stories about the moms who aren't with their little kids for years and I wonder how they sleep at night. I can't.

Me give up my child to become someone's object of venting their frustrations on just to satisfy a chauvinist culture that only caters to the man's ego but care nothing for the wellbeing of the little ones in question.

Odiegwu.

The same people that froth at the mouth when you mention men and childcare in the same sentence are the same that will suddenly support the man having the kids in the case of a divorce.

Until they are ready to nurse babies like moms do, there's no question that about little kids going to their moms. One can't and shouldn't stupidly jeopardize the little kids to satisfy egos or be politically correct.
When they are readying for child care, we will know. Until then we ain't using our babies as a social experiment.







If the kids are teenagers, I won't bother because they will be wherever they want to be. No be only take my kids undecided.

1 Like

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