I am the only unmarried guy in my compound and there is this single mom in my compound that always tell her sons to come close to me, though i am closer to the youngest who i think is in jss3. The mother said she sees in me what she wants her sons to become, i have thought them how to cook, knot a tie and any manly skill i think an elder bro can teach a younger brother. Yesterday i was low on cash and wanted to go out so i counted the money in my wallet so i can go to the atm. The youngest was playing metal gear solid v on my ps4, when i showered and came out, i noticed that the money in my wallet was 1k short at first i did not want to believe but i was sure i counted the money, i asked him if he took it and he said no so i left him. This morning, i called him and told him that hope he knows you can record with a playstation camera and i lied to him that the camera recorded him taking the money; i told him that i will call his mother and show her the video, he still did not say i thing so i was convinced he took the money, i told him to go bring it and he went and brought it. the money may not be much but stealing is stealing right?? i know i did some things growing up, we all did but i never stole from a neighbour no matter how close we were, SHOULD I REPORT TO HIS MOTHER? or advice him on my own. I have never been a parent so my parenting skills sucks her mother trust that i am a good company that is why she always wants them around me. Please need your opinion on this.

ernie2007:
I am the only unmarried guy in my compound and there is this single mom in my compound that always tell her sons to come close to me, though i am closer to the youngest who i think is in jss3. The mother said she sees in me what she wants her sons to become, i have thought them how to cook, knot a tie and any manly skill i think an elder bro can teach a younger brother. Yesterday i was low on cash and wanted to go out so i counted the money in my wallet so i can go to the atm. The youngest was playing metal gear solid v on my ps4, when i showered and came out, i noticed that the money in my wallet was 1k short at first i did not want to believe but i was sure i counted the money, i asked him if he took it and he said no so i left him. This morning, i called him and told him that hope he knows you can record with a playstation camera and i lied to him that the camera recorded him taking the money; i told him that i will call his mother and show her the video, he still did not say i thing so i was convinced he took the money, i told him to go bring it and he went and brought it. the money may not be much but stealing is stealing right?? i know i did some things growing up, we all did but i never stole from a neighbour no matter how close we were, SHOULD I REPORT TO HIS MOTHER? or advice him on my own. I have never been a parent so my parenting skills sucks her mother trust that i am a good company that is why she always wants them around me. Please need your opinion on this.

Please tell the mother as soon as possible so he can be corrected earlier before it gets out of hand. He is still young and be corrected early. And also plead on his behalf oo make him mama no beat am finish oo. If the mother is wise, she will thank you and appreciate you for coming to her directly.

Some pple will just keep quite and wunt say a word to the mother buy will use it to insult the boy calling him names which will make the mother worried and scared of where and when her child went wrong.

So please open up. The boy might avoid you for a while,leave him and let him be. You can call him later,sit him down and explain reasons why you had to tell his mum. Its all for his sake and his future.


Please don't push the boy away,remain close to him and keep giving words of advice,he isn't your blood but in somany ways you are important in his life.

Do both.

Correct him and tell his,mother. He's in J.S.S 3 you say?

Nearly old enough to be subjected to jungle justice. Correcting that little thief now, just might save him from getting burnt to death with a tire around his neck.

Its not just about telling his mum,but the way you deliver the message would determine the woman's reaction.

Dont tell her 'your son is a thief and needs to be disciplined'. You can make your point lightly , but seriously.

You should also take into consideration the kind of woman she is. If you dont deliver the message well and monitor proceedings, the woman might likely injure the boy,especially if she's the type with a short temper.

Stay around for a while and be very cautious. Some women can be very unnecessarily defensive of their kids. Dont let her turn the heat on you.

Well when I was about 14, a female neighbour whom I knew had a crush on me caught me making out with her younger sister (they were both a little older than I was).
Despite all the pleading, the biitch still went ahead and told my mom because she was angry it was her sister instead of her.

My mother called me into her room on her return from work and asked me, "so I heard you now know how to kiss and touch brea.sts?"
The next thing that followed without giving me a second to reply, was her hand descending on my face in one fell swoop - the slap kept resounding in my ear for the next 5mins.

Did my mother's slap stop me from kissing and touching brea.sts? Absolutely not!
It only taught me never to do it with any girl who lived nearby.

End of story!

ernie2007:
I am the only unmarried guy in my compound and there is this single mom in my compound that always tell her sons to come close to me, though i am closer to the youngest who i think is in jss3. The mother said she sees in me what she wants her sons to become, i have thought them how to cook, knot a tie and any manly skill i think an elder bro can teach a younger brother. Yesterday i was low on cash and wanted to go out so i counted the money in my wallet so i can go to the atm. The youngest was playing metal gear solid v on my ps4, when i showered and came out, i noticed that the money in my wallet was 1k short at first i did not want to believe but i was sure i counted the money, i asked him if he took it and he said no so i left him. This morning, i called him and told him that hope he knows you can record with a playstation camera and i lied to him that the camera recorded him taking the money; i told him that i will call his mother and show her the video, he still did not say i thing so i was convinced he took the money, i told him to go bring it and he went and brought it. the money may not be much but stealing is stealing right?? i know i did some things growing up, we all did but i never stole from a neighbour no matter how close we were, SHOULD I REPORT TO HIS MOTHER? or advice him on my own. I have never been a parent so my parenting skills sucks her mother trust that i am a good company that is why she always wants them around me. Please need your opinion on this.

he returned your money - why report him to his mother again? do you not see yourself capable enough to teach him never to steal? you have corrected him, let the matter die there. if he has a dad, you would be right on the money to report him.....it's men talk.....but reporting a teenage boy to his mom? isn't that dry-snitching?

are you a rat?

MizMyColi:


Prep your mind tho'
His Mum might loathe you discreetly, which she mightn't readily show.

Yeah, some women are weird like that.

I thot I was the only one thinking this. Mothers are very strange beings. She could just decide not to believe you. Reason? Believing you will be very embarrassing for her.

When I was in the university, my cousin came to stay with me. Looking at his behaviour, it was clear he was well on his way to joining a cult. I sat him down one night and told him to weigh the good and bad effects of joining a cult. If the good out weighed the bad, I would support his joining one. He remained in school 3 years after I graduated and he never joined a cult.

Same here. I won't tell the mother. I will simply find a way to advice him as a big brother. If he admires you, let him know you have never had to steal to become who you are. Let him have a reason not to want to steal ever again even if it is only the embarrassment of being caught. This way, you would save your relationship with him as well as make him a better person.

4get about it, telling will only kill d friendship

Seat him down and correct him/talk to him yourself. That is why you are like a father figure to him. No point telling the mom.

I'm a mother and if there is anyone I could trust enough to hand my child to,I expect such a person to be able to correct and discipline(if needed) my child without necessarily running/reporting to me .

EfemenaXY:
Do both.

Correct him and tell his,mother. He's in J.S.S 3 you say?

Nearly old enough to be subjected to jungle justice. Correcting that little thief now, just might save him from burning to death with a tire around his neck.

gbam

Give him a man to boy talk and warn him of the danger of taking what does not belong to you. Explain the implication of stealing. Teach him to ask is better than to steal.
DO NOT TELL THE MOTHER.
Give him a second chance.

thank you all for your advise but i think it is better not to tell; his conscience is killing him right now and he is having a slow day. I just wanted to be sure which approach to take, telling and not telling has advantages and disadvantages but i think in the end it is better not to tell so he can be closer to me and i will make him understand that what he did was wrong. Growing up; talking to me was the worst form of punishment my dad gave me. Truthfully i preferred the times he used to beat me cos in my heart it will register as punishment served but talking to a child has better effect on a child. The mother will not disbelieve me but she is this sort of mother that thinks her sons cant do any wrong. I have seen her wrath and how over protective she can be for her sons maybe it comes with the single mom thing. So am not telling but will keep advising him. In a month's time or two i will count and keep money carelessly just to tempt him, so if he does it again after my advise i will report.

Bro,good you sit him down,and tell him the consequence of stealing, than reporting him to the mum.

You are a big brother to him,when next he does that,you can tell the mum,and make reference to the first one.

Its best you do not tell the mother for now, sit him down and advise him, let him see reasons why he shouldn't do such again. Teach him to learn to ask for things instead of taking them without permission as that is stealing. If he repeats such act afterwards, it would be best to report to his mother

ernie2007:
thank you all for your advise but i think it is better not to tell; his conscience is killing him right now and he is having a slow day. I just wanted to be sure which approach to take, telling and not telling has advantages and disadvantages but i think in the end it is better not to tell so he can be closer to me and i will make him understand that what he did was wrong. Growing up; talking to me was the worst form of punishment my dad gave me. Truthfully i preferred the times he used to beat me cos in my heart it will register as punishment served but talking to a child has better effect on a child. The mother will not disbelieve me but she is this sort of mother that thinks her sons cant do any wrong. I have seen her wrath and how over protective she can be for her sons maybe it comes with the single mom thing. So am not telling but will keep advising him. In a month's time or two i will count and keep money carelessly just to tempt him, so if he does it again after my advise i will report.

single mom or no single mom, you shouldn't tell the mom. there's no single disadvantage in not telling. make him see the reasons stealing is bad & that is the end of the matter.

Telling the Mom is a bad idea. You wont accomplish anything with that. She will do what most mothers know how to do best.... Flog him. The guy would distance himself from you and move on to someone else. Draw him closer to you and correct him. He wont forget it.

OP pls tell his Mum but be conscious of your choice of words and pls don't sound judgemental. Plead with her to handle him with caution as well.
let the young man understand that it's for his own good and still make him comfortable around U.

ernie2007:
thank you all for your advise but i think it is better not to tell; his conscience is killing him right now and he is having a slow day. I just wanted to be sure which approach to take, telling and not telling has advantages and disadvantages but i think in the end it is better not to tell so he can be closer to me and i will make him understand that what he did was wrong. Growing up; talking to me was the worst form of punishment my dad gave me. Truthfully i preferred the times he used to beat me cos in my heart it will register as punishment served but talking to a child has better effect on a child. The mother will not disbelieve me but she is this sort of mother that thinks her sons cant do any wrong. I have seen her wrath and how over protective she can be for her sons maybe it comes with the single mom thing. So am not telling but will keep advising him. In a month's time or two i will count and keep money carelessly just to tempt him, so if he does it again after my advise i will report.

Your choice bro. But bear it in mind that if such should repeat itself in another place and his mother finds out and also finds out that he had done same in your flat and you dint tell her,you wouldn't like the outcome. She would hate you more then than now if you open up and might probably put or label you a bad person/companion who taught her son or encouraged her son how to steal.

Yes you will correct him as a big brother BUT let the mother correct him as well, na she born her picking. She looks up to you has a good person whom can mentor her son,don't prove her wrong.

At the end of it all,its your choice. Clear your conscience,if someone does that to your own blood and hides it how will you feel when you fine out

Do unto others what you what done to you.

If a child of mine stole, I would want to know
Tell his Mom, chances are she would get through to him better than you think you did/would

@op, what are u trying to protect by not telling the mom? The boys reputation,his friendship,shame or what?
I don't want to say something that's in my mind,cos I had a similar experience as a kid,and I wish I was reported by pple who knew then.

Montaque:
@op, what are u trying to protect by not telling the mom? The boys reputation,his friendship,shame or what?
I don't want to say something that's in my mind,cos I had a similar experience as a kid,and I wish I was reported by pple who knew then.

I am not protecting anything i am trying to do what is right for the child, like i said, i will talk to him and not tell his mother this one, if he does it again after talking to him, i will report. I am surprised that he did not ask me for the money because he used to ask me for money to buy recharge cards and church offerings. I would not like it if he distance himself from me and exhibit this character outside, i would rather have him ask me for stuff even if i cant or dnt give him. I think talking to him will have a better effect in this situation, if talking does not work. I will report. Though i am beginning to think this is not the first time he has done this to me, cos am as careless as careless can be and i would hate to watch my back anytime he is in my house.

ernie2007:


I am not protecting anything i am trying to do what is right for the child, like i said, i will talk to him and not tell his mother this one, if he does it again after talking to him, i will report. I am surprised that he did not ask me for the money because he used to ask me for money to buy recharge cards and church offerings. I would not like it if he distance himself from me and exhibit this character outside, i would rather have him ask me for stuff even if i cant or dnt give him. I think talking to him will have a better effect in this situation, if talking does not work. I will report. Though i am beginning to think this is not the first time he has done this to me, cos am as careless as careless can be and i would hate to watch my back anytime he is in my house.

let me tell u, in all my waywardness during childhood,I was only caught once,and I wasn't reported.
It made me go underground after,develop more tricks nd be more subtle. Please u have a chance now. Whatever u do,don't give the child an impression that what he did is a light thing. let me stop here.

Now am confused cos a part of me wants to report another part does not want to. I just want to know that at the end of the day, i did what is best for the kid cos this is not about me.

ernie2007:
Now am confused cos a part of me wants to report another part does not want to. I just want to know that at the end of the day, i did what is best for the kid cos this is not about me.

if you know his dad, report to him.
if this particular child is a girl then you can report to the mom. he's a boy - what you have told him should be enough lesson.

Yes o! The friendship might die.you keep been the father figure,leave the mum out of this,talk to the young boy and keep your tabs on him ,study him and try noticing if he improves.if he continues that bad attitude,you may them tell his mum and even join hands in panel beating him.

lofty900:
4get about it, telling will only kill d friendship

Caveatemptor:
Give him a man to boy talk and warn him of the danger of taking what does not belong to you. Explain the implication of stealing. Teach him to ask is better than to steal.
DO NOT TELL THE MOTHER.
Give him a second chance.

I concur. If he does it again then you can report him to the mother

Tell the mom.if it were my child I'd like to know.

No one can correct my child better than i

coogar:


if you know his dad, report to him.
if this particular child is a girl then you can report to the mom. he's a boy - what you have told him should be enough lesson.

you mean a mother can't discipline her son?

OP it is a dicey one. Follow your heart. The out come will depend on the kind of boy he is.
What kind of boy do you think he is? Is he the kind of boy to take correction the first time?

Some boys reporting them or not won't make a difference. They will just go under cover.
While some if you don't report then they will feel what they did was a minor offense.

Just use your initiative here.

cococandy:
you mean a mother can't discipline her son?

she can.....
apparently, this particular woman's methods have failed - that's exactly the reason the boy stole in the first place. why add salt to injury?

A proper anini is being harbored. To steal from someone who you think has earned your trust is a very bad sign. I do hope the mum did not put him up to it. Some parents have no shame. Depends on his age. If he is less than 13, call his mum and call him to have a conversation about what happened. If he is above 13, you can talk to him alone. But from now on, I hope you have learnt to keep the child out of your flat. Before he steals everything there. Once someone betrays trust, they will have to earn it again. Don't be naive a second time