babythug:
Dear OP,

I do feel sorry that you're caught up in this situation. However you will have to make the best of the whole scenario.

Your parents are somewhat typical Nigerian in nature and it't not necessarily peculiar to your family. As a parent myself i find that sometimes spousal and financial crisis/pressures sometimes spill over into how i relate with my children. Luckily i noticed on time and i'm working on completely stopping.

In your case you will have to be somewhat proactive to reduce the general brouhaha. I don't know what the dynamics of your home is but for eg why not receive female visitors in the living room? at least no one will say you are indulged in anything inappropriate. While you are in your hostel you can have them in your room.

Do you help out with chores? Perhaps washing the car(s) before your parents are awake? When served food do you immediately wash at least your plate? especially if you have no maid/extra hand for these.

Like someone also said perhaps an extended stay in school will also help them appreciate you. Manage whatever resources they're giving you for now no matter how meagre. I find that frequently asking for funds can also add to this see finish.
May God be with you! this too shall pass

LouisBERG:
Hmmm i know that feeling bro. References to 48 laws of power i think law 3 or so says "use absence to create respect and honour" be patience, don't retaliate just ignore their abuses in a welcoming manner. And pls stop trying to initiate any act that they find offensive. You are a final year student aren't u going back to sch? Just curious. This is where absence play it's role.they will definitely anticipate just to hear your voice when you are away from them for too long.
#caLLmeBERG

Blunttalker:
I guess outsiders might never know the truth behind an average Nigerian youth professing that he has wonderful parents. Even though I declare it amongst my peers, I know for sure that I have the most terrible parents in the world. Now this statement doesn't stem from physical abuse alone although I have had countless encounters with the family koboko. It is just that I have folks who are very insultive, using words like ba s Tard to you will never amount to anything in life. In fact they love to brag that they can ultimately destroy my life by word of mouth. My pastor has called to counsel them that they should desist from using damaging words but they wouldn't listen. It is not as if I am a black sheep. Perhaps it is because I am the only boy so my acts of independence sometimes is viewed as rebellion. That is not to admit I drink, or smoke or club. I don't. Mum is the worst. When she reports my misdeeds, she lies to add to it. If I entertain a female friend in my room, she will lie that she saw me fawking her. And when the old man comes, he starts swearing. When I challenge them, they will start weeping saying I have caused them so much pain. And when I think of the fact that I am a final year university student, I feel bad. Please your advice is keenly sought. As I type this, I am seriously depressed.

RadicallyBlunt:

Lol op u're being so real. Its a stage every guy must pass thru to buy urself some freedom. Parents esp mothers would always look at u with that look of a baby born just some few yrs back. Urs is even good. In my case I was in 300lvl when it started. My parents aren't 2gether and my mum was a hardy and rocky woman. When I came of age she started telling ppl dat I now have a gf that teaching me against her. Sometimes she said I've joined cult just bcus I now boldly talk with her. She wanted me to keep agreeing to all her point as usual in my childhood days 4geting dat I'm grown as a man to do certain things on my own. Shebi u still dey bring in female friends, for my house na taboo and I'm her only child but ppl find it hard to bliev cus she doesn't pamper me at all. Our fight got so serious that she abused me publicly saying 'I don't have a child again and its nt by force 4 my child to bury me. Infact ure nt a child'..she said it in yoruba. I'm always embarassed whenever I go out with her wch I now avoid. I go out on my own even if we're going to same place, she goes separately too. She batters my ego a lot

Well just be patient for now and when u marry I'll advice, don't shw much affection to ur wife in ur mum's presense and don't shw much affection to ur mum in ur wife's presence. I pray u'll see a good wife material.

Really I like ur post. U're real and ure growing into a man. This is part of what gals shd learn abt men's life but unfortunately they're always busy thinking of what a man would do 4 dem and not how to complement their husbands.

SAMBARRY:
solution beat ya mum

Aviero:



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But talk true, wetin u carry female friend enter room go do? Na pray una go pray? Why una no ft stay parlour? E be like say your mama don peep through window catch una... Badoo!

Valeree:
I just hate the Nigerian way of training their offspring.
a lady in my office once had to complain about this kind of behavior from her parents, and I was surprised the feedback she got from other colleagues especially the elder ones.
they said if her parents weren't harsh on her that she would have spoilt or become wayward, imagine!
when she told me I understood immediately what's she was going through as my folks use to be like that.
Op.. when u voice your opinion be simple and direct, don't go into agurement.
refuse to eat their food if u can, atleast for the time being, there's something about eating food that makes the Nigerian parents feel like they own your life, and when you don't eat they feel so bad.
when ever they use vile words on you, turn it around to positive and speak it back to them. Eg: if they call u bas.tard quickly say "i am my father's son, idiot, I'm not an idiot. etc don't be laughing again in that house just be mean and cool. you will earn your respect in no time. and if you don't, you can endure until u are able to get a place of your own. sorry for the long post.

Blunttalker:

Thank you kindly. I appreciate. Truly I do. I have even left their house now. I am presently squatting with a friend

Mzdivacious:
till when??are u going to stay there forever?u better go back home lest u get more on their bad side.theyr prolly telling all their friends how their rebellious ingrate of a child left house.they know ull come back n d mockery is going to be more.

veleree everyone know the first rule to handling parents like that is never talking back.telling ur african parent ur not an idiot when they call u one,u must really have a death wish.
refuse to eat their food??that would add more to his blacklist,i dont think uv ever bn parented d way d op is describing

Valeree:
I just hate the Nigerian way of training their offspring.
a lady in my office once had to complain about this kind of behavior from her parents, and I was surprised the feedback she got from other colleagues especially the elder ones.
they said if her parents weren't harsh on her that she would have spoilt or become wayward, imagine!
when she told me I understood immediately what's she was going through as my folks use to be like that.
Op.. when u voice your opinion be simple and direct, don't go into agurement.
refuse to eat their food if u can, atleast for the time being, there's something about eating food that makes the Nigerian parents feel like they own your life, and when you don't eat they feel so bad.
when ever they use vile words on you, turn it around to positive and speak it back to them. Eg: if they call u bas.tard quickly say "i am my father's son, idiot, I'm not an idiot. etc don't be laughing again in that house just be mean and cool. you will earn your respect in no time. and if you don't, you can endure until u are able to get a place of your own. sorry for the long post.

KingTom:
1000 likes

Mzdivacious:
awwww,oshey boo mi

GraceBestowed:
It's sad that you're going through this. Your parents have been placed as guardians over your life, they should be the ones to protect you.

I would advice that you try talking to them, make them understand that their actions are affecting you negatively. If they don't change, you have to remove yourself from that, clearly, toxic environment.