Happywoman:
YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STAY
With an abusive husband.
This morning I am adressing all married women out there whose husbands beat them and is violent with them. I am not going to beat around the bush and gently counsel you, I am tired of doing that and I am even too angry for that this morning, so I'm gonna give it to you straight. Hear me and hear me well.
If you stay with a man who abuses you especially physically , who beats you up and inflicts injury on you, you are not being a faithful, committed and good Christian wife, you are being a foolish and unreasonable unchristian woman and believe me, you will finally die, he will kill you, if not now, very soon.
Now, the painful thing is that after you die, you will also go to hell and why, because your death will not be murder, it will be suicide because it was your choice to stay with an animal and be mauled to death! I don't mind a lady staying with and tolerating an irresponsible or even adulterous husband, but I draw a line over violence and abuse! Don't stay with a violent man who beats you! Read my lips, LEAVE that house! Get out!, take your kids and run as far as possible and don't tell me you have no where to go, you do, there is always a way when there is a will.
And please, Pls and Pls, no one should throw war room into my face, I am still trying to control the holy anger in me this morning, so Pls don't mention war room and remove the holy from the anger. Iv watched war room and in as much as prayer works, it is the living who has hope to pray, there is no hope of prayers in the grave where you will find yourself if you remain in an abusive marriage. If you want to build a War room for the mad man you are living Wth, go and build that war room in another place where you are safe to pray but LEAVE that house NOW!
Don't stay and die, he will eventually kill you and it wouldn't be intentional that day, he will be beating you as usual and things will get out of hands and you'll be dead and on your way to hell. GET OUT NOW!! I don't know who God is trying to save today by this post but you know yourself, I beg you, do not take my words lightly. And yes, you can share this write up, just acknowledge the writer.
Based on request I add this: this article is written by ADETUTU OSOFOWORA.

Mindfulness:


Easier said than done, kindly provide the ways out of the dilemma in this economic climate the country is in.

Happywoman:


Times are really very hard and biting for every1. But staying in an abusive relationship because of hunger is worse. It's only som1 that is alive that can actually feel hunger. Now Ronke is dead , won't the kids or wateva or whoever made her to continue bearing the maltreatment, forge ahead ? Ronke didn't have to die first. no ,not at all.

Mindfulness:


I am the last person to tell a woman to stay and endure violence in the name of 'till death do us part'. I don't believe that marriage is supposed to be endured, it is supposed to be joy and fun for the most part. I have never been in a violent relationship and I never will but I am the last person to judge a mother who has to decide whether she will endure violence or expose her kids to the danger of the streets, hunger and diseases.

So kindly suggest constructive solutions instead of telling these women that they will end up in hell.
These women do not need judgment. They need love and support. If you see one, kindly offer her shelter or start volunteering for a NGO that supports women who suffered domestic violence.

Mindfulness:


I am the last person to tell a woman to stay and endure violence in the name of 'till death do us part'. I don't believe that marriage is supposed to be endured, it is supposed to be JOY and FUN for the MOST part. I have never been in a violent relationship and I never will but I am the last person to judge a MOTHER who has to decide whether she will endure violence or expose her kids to the danger of the streets, hunger and diseases.

So kindly suggest constructive solutions instead of telling these women that they will end up in hell.
These women do not need judgment. They need love and support. If you see one, kindly offer her shelter or start volunteering for a NGO that supports women who suffered domestic violence.

bukatyne:
@OP:

I think most of these divorce and leave threads are just initial gra gra and will die down in 2 weeks time.

A number of people saw their mothers battered and still celebrate 30yrs anniversaries so why should they leave their husbands who haven't done half of what their fathers did?

@Mindfulness: most women don't stay because of finances... They stay because they want to stay aka for the kids.

Mindfulness:


I think the reasons why women stay in these marriages are several.

@bold

This is one of them.

Mindfulness:


I am the last person to tell a woman to stay and endure violence in the name of 'till death do us part'. I don't believe that marriage is supposed to be endured, it is supposed to be JOY and FUN for the MOST part. I have never been in a violent relationship and I never will but I am the last person to judge a MOTHER who has to decide whether she will endure violence or expose her kids to the danger of the streets, hunger and diseases.

So kindly suggest constructive solutions instead of telling these women that they will end up in hell.
These women do not need judgment. They need love and support. If you see one, kindly offer her shelter or start volunteering for a NGO that supports women who suffered domestic violence.

Stillfire:
I lean more on Cococandy's thought process because I believe this attitude towards abuse is more psychological than the economics of financial status. You still find women staying with abusive men in developed countries where all reasonable tools have been provided to enable them to leave such abusive settings. Women who are financially stable or not can suffer abuse. So what's the psychology behind a female staying with an abuser, is the question we need to deal with and I don't have the answer. But a consistent factor or statistic that cuts across the rich or poor is that girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults. If you had fathers who were abusive to your mums, get help, seek counselling before getting into any form of partnership with the other sex.

cococandy:
An adult is not a baby.
Why will the world have to gather to solve her problem before she lends herself a helping hand?for a while now women are being educated on the dangers of being competently dependent yet some of them will choose otherwise and when they have problems they'll start looking for who to give them constructive solution to their problems.
How can only one person help all the women? How can all the people even help all the women? Do you know how many privately funded NGO are in our country? Yet all their efforts seem to be yielding little result. What needs to be in place is an ingrained system that is structured to absorb such people and provide a soft landing for them.

But These same women if you propose a bill that is supposed to help their plight, they will take the side of the misogynist dudes who love the status quo and shut it down. As if the approval of such men at that moment means more than their prospective future well being (since anything can possibly happen to anyone).

Heaven helps those who help themselves.

Talk about child support for the kids or alimony for those women who were made to sacrifice their career to raise kids, these same women will jump on you as if what you're saying is not meant to help them.
I can assure you that any bill or social reform targeted to improving the conditions of Nigerian women will be primarily defeated by the women themselves.
You can't help someone who deliberately chose suffering over liberation.
If they do it to appear good according to the traditions that prescribes servitude for them or what, only them can tell.

cococandy:
An adult is not a baby.

Why will the world have to gather to solve her problem before she lends herself a helping hand?for a while now women are being educated on the dangers of being competently dependent yet some of them will choose otherwise and when they have problems they'll start looking for who to give them constructive solution to their problems.

How can only one person help all the women? How can all the people even help all the women? Do you know how many privately funded NGO are in our country? Yet all their efforts seem to be yielding little result. What needs to be in place is an ingrained system that is structured to absorb such people and provide a soft landing for them.

But These same women if you propose a bill that is supposed to help their plight, they will take the side of the misogynist dudes who love the status quo and shut it down. As if the approval of such men at that moment means more than their prospective future well being (since anything can possibly happen to anyone).

Heaven helps those who help themselves.

Talk about child support for the kids or alimony for those women who were made to sacrifice their career to raise kids, these same women will jump on you as if what you're saying is not meant to help them.

I can assure you that any bill or social reform targeted to improving the conditions of Nigerian women will be primarily defeated by the women themselves.

You can't help someone who deliberately chose suffering over liberation.
If they do it to appear good according to the traditions that prescribes servitude for them or what, only them can tell.

Stillfire:
I lean more on Cococandy's thought process because I believe this attitude towards abuse is more psychological than the economics of financial status. You still find women staying with abusive men in developed countries where all reasonable tools have been provided to enable them to leave such abusive settings. Women who are financially stable or not can suffer abuse. So what's the psychology behind a female staying with an abuser, is the question we need to deal with and I don't have the answer. But a consistent factor or statistic that cuts across the rich or poor is that girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults. If you had fathers who were abusive to your mums, get help, seek counselling before getting into any form of partnership with the other sex.

darkenedrebel:


words on marble, coco!

francis18:


CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE! HAHAHAHAHA MORE POWER ON YOUR ELBOW,YOU MIGHT JUST BE LUCKY TO HIT IT.BOY YOUR KISSING ASS GAME IS TIGHT! YOU CAN RECITE THE DICTIONARY FOR ME,I WONT MIND READING OR YOUR RAP SLANG,AMUSE ME.

darkenedrebel:


aren't you that transgënder? the one called Vickybee.

you went from prominent to nonentity in two shakes of a Lamb's tail and now trolling is your new extracurricular.

Happywoman:


Times are really very hard and biting for every1. But staying in an abusive relationship because of hunger is worse. It's only som1 that is alive that can actually feel hunger. Now Ronke is dead , won't the kids or wateva or whoever made her to continue bearing the maltreatment, forge ahead ? Ronke didn't have to die first. no ,not at all.

joseph1832:
This is among the reason why I'm a staunch advocate of couples living together before they tie the knot. Because, there is no way an abusive of cheating spouse will not show his or her true color when living with each other.

There's a saying in pidgin English, "character be like smoke, e no dey hide". This is the surest way for couples to get to know each other and to know if they can live with each other.

joseph1832:
Ronke had the option of not getting married to that thing of a man. I tell you this, during the time of courtship, that man must have shown Ronke that he's abusive, but she, made the choice of marrying him and getting abused and finally killed.

I've always said that women are often the bane of their own problems! That's what you see them do often.

darkenedrebel:


words on marble, coco!

byvan03:
No comment.