stop beating her. send her away if she messing up. u dey beat person with anger u come surprise say she sees u as wicked

chiomaabigail:
Oga for your information she goes to school, that is why I hurry her up in the morning so that I can go to work while she goes to school early.

She goes to school.

Which type of school? Of what quality? Can your kids attend the school she attends?

Don't your kids insult her in your presence? Do you treat her with respect?

A 13 year old as housemaid? Hei!!!! GOD have mercy.

Will you allow your kids to do the chores she does at 13 when they get to 13?

Lazy woman! What do you need maid for? You can't wake up by 4:30 am to cook and arrange your home. You born finish another person pikin go follow you dey suffer for ya own pikin. You need injection inside ya brain!

femmefetale:



You dey mind her.I can bet that that girl is presently dressed in rags. Person go fuccck born children still carry another person child to slave for her own wahala wey her OWN ikpu caused. Mtchewwww ewwwwwww

all these things are happening in nigeria because there are no laws governing them.. I bet she can't try something of this sort in western countries.


Infact, grown up nannies are acceptable by their government and not underaged kids. But here in Nigeria, anything just goes.

Let me see my wife bringing a little child as housemaid, she will tell me whether her mum gave her out as a maid to someone else. If she cannot employ a grown up person, den she should forget about it and do the chores herself.


Nonsense!

Pandorabox:
Why Are You Guys Condemning This Woman? Its Not Bad To Have A 13 Years Old Girl As A House Help, When You Guys Marry,Your Wives Will Even Bring Younger House Helps, But Madame Pls Stop Referring To Her As A Maid, Call Her Your Ward.

Please, my sister, it's wrong. NO MATTER THE NAME YOU CHOOSE TO CALL IT.ITS better to have a secondary school graduate. At least at that age, that person wakes early enough as she understands time management. It is Wrong!

Pandorabox:
Why Are You Guys Condemning This Woman? Its Not Bad To Have A 13 Years Old Girl As A House Help, When You Guys Marry,Your Wives Will Even Bring Younger House Helps, But Madame Pls Stop Referring To Her As A Maid, Call Her Your Ward.

So according to you, there is nothing wrong in having a 13 year old as a house maid?

GOD thank you for my wife who is the best wife on earth and will never condone this evil.

solution. .
stop seeing her as ur enemy
change the routine
let her bath ur kids first so that when thr r gone to school she would probably bath herself (not everyone like bathing early morning esp wen no place to go)
take her as ur first child so she can see ur kids as her junior once.

sannu!![/quote] Thanks. she can't prepare their food, so I do that. All I told her was to bath herself and the kids. I drive them to school so I cannot leave her behind

Pandorabox:
Why Are You Guys Condemning This Woman? Its Not Bad To Have A 13 Years Old Girl As A House Help, When You Guys Marry,Your Wives Will Even Bring Younger House Helps, But Madame Pls Stop Referring To Her As A Maid, Call Her Your Ward.

just hold it. It Is not what?



Make I become president of Nigeria first, I will pass a bill stopping underaged children as house servants in nigeria!

femmefetale:



Please, my sister, it's wrong. NO MATTER THE NAME YOU CHOOSE TO CALL IT.ITS better to have a secondary school graduate. At least at that age, that person wakes early enough as she understands time management. It is Wrong!

GOD bless you ma.

At worst, she can get grown ups that come to work for her in the mornings and close evenings.

[quote author=talk2alabama post=46847847]all these things are happening in nigeria because there are no laws governing them.. I bet she can't try something of this sort in western countries.


Infact, grown up nannies are acceptable by their government and not underaged kids. But here in Nigeria, anything just goes.

Let me see my wife bringing a little child as housemaid, she will tell me whether her mum gave her out as a maid to someone else. If she cannot employ a grown up person, den she should forget about it and do the chores herself.


Nonsense![/quot]

Even whites sef don't always do nannies except working class wives.
I refuse to bring a little child in my house. 4:30 I'm up!By 6:30 they are ready and all dressed up with their freshly made stew and rice. Which maid?! For which place, my house?

saintkash:
Thumbs up to ur husband. .. how would u feel if someone does same to ur daughter if she ever find herself in that kind of unfortunate situation? 13yr old is still a child so the fact that she works for u or u pay her peenuts which she doesn't even get to touch, see or even use for herself doesn't make her an adult. .. u r the mother of ur kids and it's ur responsibility to prep them for school while she assist u not the other way round.
back to the matter. .... did it occur to u that the water she was meant to bath with could be too cold for her while ur kids would use warm water. ..did u knw if she woke up wit a fever and couldn't bath that early?

solution. .
stop seeing her as ur enemy
change the routine
let her bath ur kids first so that when thr r gone to school she would probably bath herself (not everyone like bathing early morning esp wen no place to go)
take her as ur first child so she can see ur kids as her junior once.

sannu!!

she can't prepare their breakfast which I do. All I told her was to wake up, put water on the gas, go and take your bath and prepare the children. I drive them to school and go to my own work, so I can't leave her behind. I don't blame the men that are condemning me because they have not been there.

[quote author=femmefetale post=46848090][/quote]as in eh. Our mothers and grand mothers and great grandmothers did not have maids.. Infact, the children knew what their role is at home, while the wife did know what her role is, so as the husband..


But now, wives hide behind the name of modernity, jobs and all that hogwash.


Wen I was still living with my parents, my mum will come bak from travel with my dad, after all the stress, she will still enter kitchen and cook food for him..


Infact, even when dad wishes to go early to work or smth or he wants to travel, she will wake up by 5am and prepare food.


But now.. 9am, wives are still sleeping.. nonsense...


The reason why men even prefer to marry women from the village Dan lazy city gals.

chiomaabigail:
she can't prepare their breakfast which I do. All I told her was to wake up, put water on the gas, go and take your bath and prepare the children. I drive them to school and go to my own work, so I can't leave her behind. I don't blame the men that are condemning me because they have not been there.

can't blame who? Who hasn't been there, look let me tell u something, a time will come when d devil will tempt u eh, u will carry hot water and pour on that small girl.. quote me. Infact I am going to write an article on this and it must reach front page.

jusRadical:



GOD bless you ma.

At worst, she can get grown ups that come to work for her in the mornings and close evenings.

This ugly issue is rampant amongst igbo wives especially new wives. They will bring small children from the east and turn them to slaves in the city. You will see them dressed in shapeless gowns and low cuts, i don't know why those witches don't like their maids to plait their hair. Yet their own children hair to be filled ribbons. Them go dey form madam untop small girl. I hate them ehn.

Just recently, in a function I saw this very small maid backed a child for closed to three hours standing. It got to a point she was even dozing off with the child. Kilode and the idiotic mother was there pretending as if people are not giving her the bad looks. The thing wey dey pain me be say the pikin head alone fit dey weigh a hundred pounds!


I'm just praying for life to be able to take care of my kids myself. Because I know that no matter how poor I'm, no child of mine will slave for any bastard "Aunty".

femmefetale:


This ugly issue is rampant amongst igbo wives especially new wives. They will bring small children from the east and turn them to slaves in the city. You will see them dressed in shapeless gowns and low cuts, i don't know why those witches don't like their maids to plait their hair. Yet their own children hair to be filled ribbons. Them go dey form madam untop small girl. I hate them ehn.

I disagree with you on the Igbo thing.


I am an Igbo. My wife (extremely hardworking), working class igbo woman with 4 kids, no child maid. My mum (very hard working)0retired civil servant of Igbo origin, had 4, no housr maid.

My 2 sisters (hard.working and working clas), igbos, with 4 kids each, no maid.

jusRadical:




I disagree with you on the Igbo thing.


I am an Igbo. My wife (extremely hardworking), working class igbo woman with 4 kids, no child maid. My mum (very hard working)0retired civil servant of Igbo origin, had 4, no housr maid.

My 2 sisters (hard.working and working clas), igbos, with 4 kids each, no maid.

I didn't generalise at all.Im igbo too, from Anambra. That's why I said rampant. Of course there are those like your wife with a kind heart. Don't forget I never supported this.

femmefetale:


This ugly issue is rampant amongst igbo wives especially new wives. They will bring small children from the east and turn them to slaves in the city. You will see them dressed in shapeless gowns and low cuts, i don't know why those witches don't like their maids to plait their hair. Yet their own children hair to be filled ribbons. Them go dey form madam untop small girl. I hate them ehn.

Shut that your generalisation mouth dia.

You haven't given her any constructive ideas or criticism rather you are jumping up and down condemning what you know nothing about. Do you live with them? All the pictures you are painting is horrible as not everyone is like that. Are you married with kids, huh, with an unsupportive husband? Eh.
Think about the sanctimonious horseband this lady has that won't lift a finger to help get his children ready for school. This, I believe is your major issue Chiomaabigail, you are transferring your annoyance and aggression to someone( your maid) who won't fight back. It is your horseband who is suppose to help get the kids ready , you are angry with your horseband so let the girl be.

She didn't take her bath early this money because the water was cold, nobody walks away or tours the house instead of bathing when there is a soothing warm water to bath with.
Refer to your children as her brothers and sisters and see her relating to them as such and referring to you as mummy...nobody disobeys a caring and loving mummy. You will see her acting as their big sis.

jusRadical:




I disagree with you on the Igbo thing.


I am an Igbo. My wife (extremely hardworking), working class igbo woman with 4 kids, no child maid. My mum (very hard working)0retired civil servant of Igbo origin, had 4, no housr maid.

My 2 sisters (hard.working and working clas), igbos, with 4 kids each, no maid.

I used to believe this until I ventured into the union myself and I found out it is all lies. At a point in time there is an equivocal and dire need for help which can't be ignore especially if you marry a career woman. There is need to delegate some house chores to someone or get somebody to watch your kids if you aren't capable of doing so at that point in time or you want your wife to have a breathing space. Raising toddlers while hustling is tiring and women who opt for helps should not be crucified because of the atrocities being committed by few.
When I came of age, I thought we didn't have maids until I asked my mum. Almost everybody in our hood then has about one or two helps until their eldest child can carry and take care of the youngest.

SirVintageCock:
Shut that your generalisation mouth dia.

You haven't given her any constructive ideas or criticism rather you are jumping up and down condemning what you know nothing about. Do you live with them? All the pictures you are painting is horrible as not everyone is like that. Are you married with kids, huh, with an unsupportive husband? Eh.
Think about the sanctimonious horseband this lady has that won't lift a finger to help get his children ready for school. This I believe is your major issue Chiomaabigail, you are transferring your annoyance and aggression to someone who won't fight back cos it is your horseband who is suppose to help get the kids ready. You are angry with your horseband so let the girl be.

She didn't take her bath early this money because the water was cold, nobody walks away or tours the house instead of bathing when there is a soothing warm water to bath with.
Refer to your children as her brothers and sisters and see her relating to them as such and referring to you as mummy...nobody disobeys a caring and loving mummy. You will see her acting as their big sis.

I don't even want to go to the side of my husband being unsupportive. God knows I don't hate the girl, I just wish she should stop being stubborn and do what she suppose to do. Before I beat her I must have corrected her on that particular issues several times.

If only I had a voice in the government. I would push laws to avoid this so called house help modern slavery happening in many homes in Nigeria. In the Western world the man and the woman do the household shopping, cooking, cleaning, take care of the kids together. Its not a woman's place to do the domestic work alone. Here in Germany you can't afford a domestic worker in your home. You have to cough out a minimum of 8.50€ per hour that the person spends working for you. And definitely you can't hire a child. Its a crime. And for raising your hand against your worker, madam if you are reported you should be in jail.
Teach your husband to throw in his own weight around the house, helping with the kids and all and send that girl back to her parents.
I just wonder why people give away their kids to work for people. Its so annoying

SirVintageCock:
Shut that your generalisation mouth dia.

You haven't given her any constructive ideas or criticism rather you are jumping up and down condemning what you know nothing about. Do you live with them? All the pictures you are painting is horrible as not everyone is like that. Are you married with kids, huh, with an unsupportive husband? Eh.
Think about the sanctimonious horseband this lady has that won't lift a finger to help get his children ready for school. This, I believe is your major issue Chiomaabigail, you are transferring your annoyance and aggression to someone( your maid) who won't fight back. It is your horseband who is suppose to help get the kids ready , you are angry with your horseband so let the girl be.

She didn't take her bath early this money because the water was cold, nobody walks away or tours the house instead of bathing when there is a soothing warm water to bath with.
Refer to your children as her brothers and sisters and see her relating to them as such and referring to you as mummy...nobody disobeys a caring and loving mummy. You will see her acting as their big sis.

Who the fucck is this? What's my business if madness runs in your lineage?

SirVintageCock:
I used to believe this until I ventured into the union myself and I found out it is all lies. At a point in time there is an equivocal and dire need for help which can't be ignore especially if you marry a career woman. There is need to delegate some house chores to someone or get somebody to watch your kids if you aren't capable of doing so at that point in time or you want your wife to have a breathing space. Raising toddlers while hustling is tiring and women who opt for helps should not be crucified because of the atrocities being committed by few.
When I came of age, I thought we didn't have maids until I asked my mum. Almost everybody in our hood then has about one or two helps until their eldest child can carry and take care of the youngest.

I am not against having housemaids.

I am against childmaid, below 18 years.

[quote author=jusRadical post=46849573]


I am not against having housemaids.

I am against childmaid, below 18 years.[/quote
Leave that agbaya.
I'm sure he has got an underage as help. His kind are the ones that molest young housemaids their mothers bring home.

SirVintageCock:
I used to believe this until I ventured into the union myself and I found out it is all lies. At a point in time there is an equivocal and dire need for help which can't be ignore especially if you marry a career woman. There is need to delegate some house chores to someone or get somebody to watch your kids if you aren't capable of doing so at that point in time or you want your wife to have a breathing space. Raising toddlers while hustling is tiring and women who opt for helps should not be crucified because of the atrocities being committed by few.
When I came of age, I thought we didn't have maids until I asked my mum. Almost everybody in our hood then has about one or two helps until their eldest child can carry and take care of the youngest.

There may likely be a need for extra help at home for working class couples depending on the ages of their kids, neighbourhood, etc.

But meeting that need with a minor is not right.

chiomaabigail:
Your generation shall live in slavery.

Lolz, abeg free d guy.



And I know of a woman like u that also has a maid.

But u will never know that she is a maid. She dare not lay a hand on her.

If u see where they are discussing, u will think they are partners in crime, but they are simply maid and madam. She is about the same age as ur maid.

When the madam is not around, she will do everything and when u ask her, she will be like, "haba, noo, my Aunty is just like a mother to me, she doesn't need to be angry with me biko, besides, it will pain me so much to see her angry".



Let me ask u, can this your maid, caution of ur stubborn child (spank him/her) in ur presence? This girl will do it and be like, " Aunty ifeena is too stubborn" and the madam will be like, "just beat him if he doesn't listen". This maid does not play with her madams kids, she takes them as her own little siblings.



One day, a woman came to their house to report to their madam that she over saw the maid giving her child water from the same cup she drank with.

The madam was so embarrassed by such report, but her response made the woman ashamed of herself. This is her response " it is even better that they share the same cup and d same water, @least, the maid knows too well than she can't drink unclean water neither can she make us of unclean cup for herself, so sharing the same water and cup with my child means that the water in question is clean same as d cup they both used".

Now, that is a real understanding between them. It does not mean that the maid does not mis behave or that madam does not scold her, but when such thing happens, the maid will know so well that she was @ fault.

Have u seen where madam will be fetching water and maid will be washing clothes or where maid will be fetching water and madam will be washing clothes including the maid own, or where they will both fetch water @ d same time, then one will washing and the other rinsing and spreading?

This is very rare, infact this is the first family I have seen living like that, everyone for our area dey commot cap for the madam.

NB. She is no way related to the madam nor the husband. When the maid visits her own family, she will be in a hurry to return to the madams family. And when she is ready to travel home, madam will buy so many things for her.




The madam is a busy woman, same as d husband, the only person she can trust with her kids and family is d maid, and to make sure the maid lives upto expectations, she makes sure the maid is always happy. Dey discuss like sisters. She attends same school with the kids, these type of school that has both primary and secondary.





What am I saying in essence? It might be hard for u to be the other woman, but please try to soften on the girl, the only reason why the girl kinda respects ur husband is because of his calmness. Please try to understand that violence is not always d answer. In the case of boiling water early in the morning while others are still sleeping, @times, try to wake up 1st B's time, put the water on fire and wake her up to bath, she is a helper, not a slave, let her know that she is also part of ur family and not your servant.

jusRadical:



There may likely be a need for extra help at home for working class couples depending on the ages of their kids, neighbourhood, etc.

But meeting that need with a minor is not right.

Working class my flat ugly ass!
I expect that professionals ought to do things in a professional way, why can't they get professional help than a 13 yr old slave? They prefer minors they can subdue and molest. ONLY IN NIGERIAN.

chiomaabigail:
I don't even want to go to the side of my husband being unsupportive. God knows I don't hate the girl, I just wish she should stop being stubborn and do what she suppose to do. Before I beat her I must have corrected her on that particular issues several times.

Talk to your husband about this. And please stop the beatings, stop beating her up, probably it's the way you beat her that gets your husband angry. You can scold her by talking to her and she will understand you dear, be gentle in your approach and you will see her turn around well, if she does something that upsets you, ask her first before scolding her. For example, you could have asked her why she hasn't taken her bath this morning before beating her up. Please don't touch her again make people no give you name wey you no bear. My mum had maids till our last born grew up before she stopped having them and I never saw her beat them up and some of them were even annoying, but my mum would always say she can't beat another person's child and guess what, some of our past maids have become family friends with us now cos they are married and their kids call my mum Grandma or Big mummy.

femmefetale:


Working class my flat ugly ass!
I expect that professionals ought to do things in a professional way, why can't they get professional help than a 13 yr old slave? They prefer minors they can subdue and molest. ONLY IN NIGERIAN.

We had maids while we were growing up but they were way older than us, they had all passed the age of secondary school. My mum needed maids because ever since I knew her till date because she still works she leaves home by 5:00am for work. But she never beat any of them up because she will say she can't beat another person's child instead our maids beats us up when we misbehave and we loved them like our big sisters. So some people still needs help but having an underage is what I don't and won't support.

Prettiepearlz:

Talk to your husband about this. And please stop the beatings, stop beating her up, probably it's the way you beat her that gets your husband angry. You can scold her by talking to her and she will understand you dear, be gentle in your approach and you will see her turn around well, if she does something that upsets you, ask her first before scolding her. For example, you could have asked her why she hasn't taken her bath this morning before beating her up. Please don't touch her again make people no give you name wey you no bear. My mum had maids till our last born grew up before she stopped having them and I never saw her beat them up and some of them were even annoying, but my mum would always say she can't beat another person's child and guess what, some of our past maids have become family friends with us now cos they are married and their kids call my mum Grandma or Big mummy.

You didn't really read what I said. When I woke up this morning, to even greet me good morning was war. After scolding her on that one, I told her to go and take her bath after putting the water on the gas. She went in after wasting time, she wore her uniform without taking her bathe. That got me angry and I beat her up. Like I said before I don't beat her unless I have corrected her on a particular issues several times.


Anyway, thanks for your advice.

A 13 year old is a child and should be allowed to have a childhood instead of taking care of your children.

She is acting her age. I am so tired of this debate you expect a child to turn into an adult because you decide to use her in the name of helping to do adult duties. This is the age for tricks and misbehaving, she should be playing and doing just basics not stuck taking care of your kids.

As for your husband instead of doing referee why can he not be the one getting the kids ready? Are they not his kids too? You abandon the care of your kids to your wife and an underaged maid and be forming good man Oga you have failed.

Madam get an adult helper, pay her well, do your research well before engaging her. She can come in the morning and go home in the evening, your husband should help out.

Stop beating another persons child send that girl home so she can enjoy her childhood, if you want to help be paying her school fees while she is with the parents.