dat must be dani

Ar u there that day

MUST BE AN IMPOSToR


Since our library didnt oper8t lending services, i was surprised 2 learn one mornin dat, 1 single copy of a biografy titled, THE MAN CHIDI NWAGWU, was missing.
After makin some enquiriez, i found out dat Julie, a newly employed Library Assistant, had loaned it to a reader witout permission,so i sent 4 her.
"Go and get me, THE MAN CHIDI NWAGWU," i told her, wen she entered my office.
"Is he a reader or a member of staff?" she asked

This is boring to infinity
How did u even feel typing this.
Men like you should go for grammar reconstruction.
Would give you better confidence later in life.

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.

After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money."

"DAMN!" said the father.
"What's wrong?", the teacher asked.

Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"

A wife was in bed with her lover (cheating) when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said to the lover. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me. Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed & slept off, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticki, ng out at , the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet on this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there". The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. Damn, you're right"

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompanies him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?" As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?" "I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick." "Huh," the younger doctor said, "Pretty sneaky. I think I'll try that at the next house." Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately." "You've probably been doing too much work for the church,” the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps." As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?" "Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

Little Johnny is taking a shower
with his mother and says, "Mom,
what are those things on your
chest!?" Unsure of how to reply,
she tells Johnny to ask his dad
at breakfast tomorrow, quite
certain the matter would be
forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget. The
following morning he asked his
father the same question. His
father, always quick with the
answers, says, "Why Johnny,
those are balloons. When your
mommy dies, we can blow them
up and she'll float to heaven."
Johnny thinks that's neat and
asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad
comes home from work a few
hours early. Johnny runs out of
the house crying hysterically,
"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!"
His father says, "Calm down son!
Why do you think Mommy's
dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing
up Mommys' balloons and she's
screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful,
and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his bed for a good nite's rest. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''

And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''
Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''

Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

Joe says, ''if it happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''

Very nice

Kunbee:

Very nice

10x guy

better than not telling a joke

Wia ya own

pelezhino:

better than not telling a joke

hmmmm. are u sure

Kunbee:

Wia ya own

thanks guy

Welcome o jare

;d ;d ;d

error

hmmmmmmmmmmm

wetin

who killed abel??

Na Cain na