When your wife is on the phone alerting her side nigga or man friend that you're around...

"I'm fine man of God, God is around protecting us".

Ladies you need 20litres of
anointing oil.

.

.. J

If e happen now dem go say na devil

.

Pronunciation of W:
English man: Double U,
Yoruba man: Doubly U,
Igbo man: Doubelly U,
Hausa man: Doufley U,
Calabar man: Doubrey U!

If you suspect your wife or girlfriend of stealing money from your wallet, just put a used condom in your wallet, then you will catch the thief. Free advice you are welcome my brothers.
Keep knives away..during this period

When a white man creates a phone and you video chat with your brother you call it technology but when your Grandmother in the village uses a mirror to see you in Abuja from the village you call it witchcraft.

What sought of life is that? �

It's about time we value our Nigerian products.

I Can't laugh alone jare, oya join me. My neighbor was sick and invited a native doctor. I warned and pleaded with him, begged him to wait for God's time but he refused, So I left him. He went inside his house with the native doctor, so after the native doctor finished doing his enchantment, he told my neighbor that the sickness is incurable but can be transferred to another person and my neighbour greedily agreed. The native doctor then told my neighbour that the 1st person that will enter his house, he should shout "taarh" and the sickness will transfer to the person and the person will die, except d person reply with retaarh to backfire. my neighbour agreed and the native doctor left in a hurry, forgetting to collect his money for the service he had offered. My neighbour sat down in his parlour and kept his door open waiting for the first victim that will pass through that door. The native doctor then remembered that he forgot to collect his money and decided to go back and collect it. Immediately the native doctor entered, my neighbour shouted "taarh" and the native doctor shouted "retaarh" and my neighbour shouted again “reretaaarh" the native doctor replied “retartartarh". This noise started since yesterday morning and up till now they are both shouting “rerererererere rererererererererereretaaaaaaaaarrrhhhh"... Who will stop and die for who?

Pls let's try and Reduce stress that is becoming traumatizing. An Okada man worked till 2am, on getting home he decided to take a bath. He suddenly ran out naked shouting ghost ghost ghost, narrating his ordeal, he said he has poured water on his head ten times and its not touching his head. On hearing this Neighbors rushed out only to discover he didn't remove His helmet before having His bath. REST IS VITAL! Have a RESTFUL weekend.

. .

You CANNOT give a woman everything she needs. If God Himself gave them eyebrows, they shave it and draw their own. God gave them nails, they cut it off and fixed their own, God gave them hair, they cut it off and fixed their own,He gave them breast, they repackage it to what they want, God still gave them buttocks ,they arrange it to the size they want.
If even God can't satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them?
My brother don't kill yourself

Need for projector in churches
Advice to all churches!
Buy projectors and display lyrics of songs for
members lest they murder songs in such
manner as these :
>Jehovah is Your name (2ce)
19 Warriors, 8 in Battle, Jehovah is Your name
>You are handsome in this place mighty God
>We go de hee, hee your name debade, holiday,holiday (we go dey hail your name day by day all the way)
>Email, email her, email her, Jehovah mail her. Ayinekele gymnastic email her, email her, Jeho email her

.

..

HOW TO STEAL A CHICKEN
1. Survey the area for about 1 week.
2. On the day of operation, wear an
oversized shirt.
3. Be at the place between 11am to
2:30pm. At this time of the day, the
owners will be gone to work or be
indoor. The chicken will be playing
outside happily.
4. Walk at the edge of the street and let
the chicken walk freely at the centre,
[its more easy if you are in the village]
5. This is where you make the grand
move.
6. Dive like a goalkeeper and grab the
chicken by the head. Quickly fold the
head into the feathers and put it inside
your oversized shirt.
7. Move on as if nothing happened. No
looking back.
THANK-ME- LATER.
How to steal a cow is next
See u next Wednesday

Caller: Hello Mr.Emeka, you have won a trip for two to Dubai, who are you gonna take with you sir?
Emeka: I'm taking no one I will go twice

One aboki just called me. I told him that its wrong number. the aboki called me back to ask me if I knew the correct number.

So Because The Doctor Asked You To Change your Drinking Habit, you're Now Drinking Beer With Spoon? Continue

i was having a bad day until i got here,i swear i laughed and tears were rolling down my eyes, this is superb, wonderful, thumbs up op

ifeolamide00:
i was having a bad day until i got here,i swear i laughed and tears were rolling down my eyes, this is superb, wonderful, thumbs up op

Thank you. It means a lot to me. You made my day

.

I saw a signpost that says:
This land is mine and your life is yours. Don’t let us trespass on each other’s property

BEING KISSED DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE BEING LOVED.
ASK JESUS ABOUT JUDAS

Chilling with side chicks

Today is an auspicious day.

7-10-2017.

7102017

Right to left and left to Right numbers are same. So this is a unique day . Hope I was the first to tell you this

A pilot on an airplane said; Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude. All the baggage must be thrown out. A while later, the pilot said; We are still losing altitude. We must throw out everything that is in the cabin. The plane continued to descend despite more things being thrown out. The pilot said; We are still going down, we must throw out some people. There was a big gasp from the passengers. The pilot continued; But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order, So A... any Africans on board?. Nobody moved. The pilot said; B... any Blacks on board?. Nobody moved. The pilot said; C... any coloureds on board?. Still, nobody moved. The pilot said; D... any Darkies?. A Nigerian little black boy asked his dad; Daddy, what are we?. The Dad said; My son, tonight, we are Zulus

APC thingz

CEO: What is your proffession?
ME: I‘m a monocotyledon cremator.
CEO:I have never heard of that before
ME:I roast maize sir
CEO:Get out of my office!!!

Enjoy your day.

1) i Paid 50k To swim at Eko Hotel you say i shuld not drink the water.?? My friend , Are you OK?
2.) I Pay 80k to sleep in Silverhotel and you say i should not unirate on the bed?? U well at all??
3.) i pay 20K Just for Rice, chicken and Wine and you say I should Not lick the Plate and take d empty wine bottle home??
U well??
4) Nigeria Sef....
How can two policemen be sharing One gun!!
Kai... Naija I hail oo
5) Dont Depend on Anybody Even NEPA Office has a Generator.
6)"WITCHCRAFT" is when A Yoruba Girl Had an Accident she quickly Picked her phone, Logged in and Posted
"Just had an Accident" #Injury fell on me #Red on Legs #Blood_on_fleek
The whahala is now wen you Tage me "Feeling Like Dying with #Lizemmy And 36 others..
Sister ,is your brain paining you??
7) one Guy Hosted a BDay Party for a Girl In My street and another guy Proposed to Her Publicly at tHe same party and she said Yes!!
:
My Friends have been separating fight since Morning.....
And Here i am Toasting the Girl again
Who Knows ..she might say yes too...
8 ) Those Of You guys That are Busy telling girls you met on Facebook That you are Missing Them..
Pls What are you Missing?? Her Handwritting Or Her Photogenic Voice??
Am With my Village people inCase you want to Meet Them
9)Short girls with big head be looking like frying pan.......Oh Lord recreate us!!