bennyann:


You know very well akintom can't be devoured. That's impossible. I just want to get answers from him personally..

And you, why come late? I was expecting you to describe the heaven of FSM

akintom:

Are you sure there will be gravitational force in heaven? Verily verily I tell you, you don't need your legs. You gonna be levitating (like moon walk).

yea, y'all gonna be like rastafarians. Jah has done it all.
Leisure? What kinds of leisure?
Why will you need a mansion? When all the earthly elements will not be in heaven..... Have you thought about that?

Pastafarian:


FSM is the one true God Pastafarianism is the one true religion

if you become a Pastafarian, you'll be entitled to a beer volcano and stripper factory in afterlife;
compare that to the 2 other lesser gods

1 Yahweh promises "eternal bliss" and you'll be singing forever in the mansion a carpenter builds for you, a mansion without sex *spits*

2 Allah promises 72 Virgins which look good on the surface but deeper look shows that strippers are much better than virgins when it comes to sex and you can order virgin strippers from your factory if you want extra tightness; females can order male strippers too

accept FSM into your life today, there's enough beer volcanoes and stripper factories to go round

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4327730_2q1_jpegeb0b21478bf281b81c9999bda10ca502

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4327731_9k_jpegd2ea285a44370bbeb61d265f939b44f7

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4327732_bzhb6cn3nu5laaaaaelftksuqmcc_pngd0a974f772092fc28712e926416e267a

bennyann:


Beer and sex? Can you imagine?

Is that all? Like so you also worship sex?

When the desires of the flesh is used to draw your attention, that's when you should be very careful and wise.

You and fsm

Pastafarian:


desires of the flesh? what does that even mean to a Pastafarian? The one true God has promised us those things in afterlife and that's the goal, call it anything you like, doesn't change the fact that this is the most sensible of all afterlife promises

bennyann:


The most sensible of all? Gosh! only because of beer and sex? Brother Hope, this thread makes me see you all in a different way.

First of all I never knew fsm was so real to you until now. I thought it's all for the jokes.

Have you ever thought of it this way? That the sex you're expecting as your reward will not be when, how and as you want it?

I mean to say when sex is promised in the after life, it means your manhood will suffer because you won't be the one in control. Sex in the afterlife is a kind of punishment you will not hunger for when you've witnessed it. You have no idea who the strippers are you're talking about. You even have no idea of the kind of beer you're happy about now.

Be careful of things that looks attractive on the outside. I do not doubt they will give you the sex when you get there but you will be the one begging for freedom because of how used you'll be.

Not all that glitters are gold.....

Think about how the promising of attractive goodies to our earthly mind are really stressed or emphasized when it comes to paradises except that of Christianity...

Please think.... Don't they all sound fishy? Is that not how 419s trap their victims?

What if in your afterlife, you realize your true self despise such promises.. Of what value will they be then? Because definitely you won't be the same person then as you are now.

Pastafarian:


not because of beer and sex, its because there are proof that FSM is the true God, I've got those proof and I'll serve them to you if you want

skeendyke:
Hope you are good.

bennyann:


Ok. I'm all eyes.

bennyann:
Pastafarian, like seriously

Are you for real? Na spaghetti or indomie you dey worship?

This is serious....

Pastafarian:


blasphemy!!!

the name is Flying Spaghetti Monster

bennyann:


Ok, sorry. 'Monster' is even attached to its name

And it's through the Monster you will get your strippers or virgins.. ..

So this is why you hate Christianity? Because of FSM?

Pastafarian:


No! FSM is not a jealous god, Christians can be Pastafarians too; such a Christian just has to believe he exists

FSM doesn't have self esteem issues like Yahweh, Allah et al


and I don't hate Christianity, I poke holes in the Christian god idea; you might think that's hate but I don't see it as hate from here

bennyann:
I still can't believe my eyes hopefullandlord. So you being in the level of FSM is for real, it's not even a joke.
God have mercy.

Brother Hope, God will see us through OK... It is well.

bennyann:


The most sensible of all? Gosh! only because of beer and sex? Brother Hope, this thread makes me see you all in a different way.

First of all I never knew fsm was so real to you until now. I thought it's all for the jokes.

Wilgrea7:


the fsm is a way people use to mock Christianity.. no Nigerian believes that... every post about fsm has a parallel in Christianity which its trying to mock

bennyann:


silly me. Thanks Wilgrea7

I was wondering the kind of atheist he is. But I wouldn't be surprised to hear some seriously take that thing as their god.

Pastafarian Well-done ooo. May God save your soul.

Hope you're done having your fun? Silly you..

And you had nothing to joke with but beer and sex..

bennyann:
Akintom where are you ooo. If you don't want the Christian heaven, the one of FSM is waiting for you oo

Where has akintom gone too now?

bennyann:
Akintom where are you ooo. If you don't want the Christian heaven, the one of FSM is waiting for you oo

Where has akintom gone too now?

Pastafarian:


the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one true God and below are just some of the proof

1. The planets are shaped like Meatballs, Only FSM can delightfully create the planets with such a shape



2. The Human DNA is shaped like Pasta, oy FSM can have delight in creating DNA in such shape too



3. He boiled for our sins, what sacrifice could be greater?



4. There was a time I doubted the existence of FSM, so I decided to go down on my knees and pray to him, telling him to reveal himself to me; after a long prayer and apparently no sign, I decided that FSM isn't real after all; so I took out my headphone from my pocket to watch some videos on my Ipad, lo and behold below is the shape the headphone took



5. he manifested himself to a group of divers underwater http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/08/13/diving-team-discovers-flying-spaghetti-monster-underwater/

a definitive answer as to the existence of the spaghetti monster. That's more than any of the other religions have as evidence.

He's gone to great depths to convince us.

6. pastors are leaving Christianity for Pastafarianism, example http://www.patheos.com/blogs/chorusinthechaos/mans-faith-completely-undone-due-to-flying-spaghetti-monster-argument/

7. FSM also showed himself to people over 3000 years ago

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4326788_l4f7lhdtobvxsn4un9oexdogj1lmmnzf1t5cxdchbu_jpegdfb51901474c34ae6d4a68a956d05abe

his noodliness touch our everyday lives

The claim that the above is a 3200 year old typo is preposterous. According to an expert, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is actually the "Son of Ra" the god of the sun and way older than these upstart "sons of god"/prophets from just a couple thousand years ago or less. Two meatballs, spaghetti, bowl...obvious.

8. FSM was sighted off the Angolan coast

Reputable science magazine New Scientist reports that the FSM has been spotted off the Angolan coast



9. FSM was sighted on Mars



NASA released this photo of a “mystery object” on Mars spotted a few days ago. No official word on what it may be, but clearly resembles the FSM.

10. FSM spotted this Japanese manhole cover.



11. FSM was spotted at the Olympics helping an athlete win



12. FSM was also spotted at a Pizzeria in Paris



13. FSM also revealed himself in an art



spotted the FSM at the Crocker Museum in Sacramento. Though He is short one meatball in this apparition we still recognized Him by His Noodly Appendages. Ramen!


14. sighting of the FSM’s Noodly Appendages in the surf in California.



15. Party Girl Jewelry Sighting



Basking in the florescent glow of the grocery store pasta aisle, the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodley appendages shimmered like diamonds.

as we can see, he's revealing himself to people on daily basis

Is the FSM material, i.e. made of matter, i.e. made of sphagetti? Or is the spaghetti part a metaphor and actually the FSM is Pure Act in the Aristotelian sense? Or are both true at once?

These mysteries are so deep, I don't have enough faith to deny the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The more you read about us the more you're going to be persuaded that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true Creator and that FSMism just might be the Best. Religion. Ever. Go ahead. Try us for thirty days. If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back. Unless it's the Jains, whose feelings are easily hurt.

Niflheim:
@akintom,
The christian heaven sounds like a home for "super lunatics"!!!

Niflheim:
@akintom,
The christian heaven sounds like a home for "super lunatics"!!!