Pardon my blunders....
The message is what matters most..


As a primary school teacher who earn below 20k monthly,i decide taking some extra coaching both at work and home coaching.

Early last year,I was lucky to meet this wealthy igbo man who offer to pay me 20k monthly for taking his four kids 3times a week(home lesson). I was happy and gladly accept the offer as i dont need to waste a dime on TFARE (very close to my house). I tried to put in my best jst to impress the man(God help me in the process)

The man has some shops he built infront of his house. A woman who operate a beerpalour happens to be an occupant. She approached me one evening asking if i can help tutor her kids. I declined as i dont have time. She begged and i asked if she will allow her kids to join me in school in the evening(mix them with the student i take in school). She agreed and God used me to transform her kids.

She was impressed and have preached the gospel about me to people around her. Currently,i met a man through her who is paying me 10k for tutoring his 3children on saturdays and sundays.

We are this close that i do stay in her shop to whiletime and charge my phone on most cases when am through with my lessons.
Her husband had an accident of recent and had a broken leg.he was admitted in the hospital close to 2month.i was there to check on him twice to show some concern before he was discharged and could recall going there with some provisions on the two visit. For the past 3months now,there payment have not been regular... I didnt complain bcoz i understand their situation.


The main issue.....


Ever since the man was discharged,he do stay with his wife in her shop because he cant go to work with his leg.ofrecent,i observe this strange look on him towards me. He do snub my greeting and most cases avoid my greetings. I dont really take that as an issue but i told a close friend about what i noticed.

I was with the woman landlord kids ystdy when my friend who wanted to use my room come around to collect key.i ask him to wait for me at the woman shop bcoz the gate which lead to the man house was locked and the landlord was around.


On getting to the woman shop,i try greeting the man which he ignore as usual.i backed him while attending to my friend. My friend notice the lion look on the man and asked us to leave immediately. He told me the man looked me like he should shot me with Gun.

Now i suspect he thought am having an affairs with his wife(close to 40yrs while am jst 27yrs).before God and man i never think of it for a moment talkless of making a move.


I become scared and afraid. I taught of stopping taking their kids and avoid the wife but there is no way i will enter into the landlord compound without passing through her shop,plus thats the route to my house from work.

Even if i avoid the woman and her shop,that wont still clear the man thought about me... And i wish to clear myself from the husband.


Fellow nairalander.....
Please help me out with some piece of advice on this issue.
Thanks.

Oga you wan die?

Leave the married woman alone na

They say if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, its a rat...if you don't wanna eat it, why then are you smelling it?

Please nobody wants to guess what your intentions are, remember almost doesn't count.

You don't need to go to her shop, besides you said there are odr shops der, why can't you go to one of the odr shops instead, its until they beat you up that you'll learn ba?

It may be true you r not having an affair with the said lady but that's not what ppl think, trust me, 'people' have told d man all manner of things happened BTW u n d wife b4 he came back

If you don't like your life, at least save the woman's marriage, free them, you may decide to drop d kids bcs of d irregular pay, if the woman pleads then ask 2 speak with the husband to know when you will b paid, that way the man decides if you will still b tutoring his kids or not, whatever d case, please keep your relationship with them, especially the wife professional and cordial.

Greet them and talk to them only when you need to.

Be wise bro

joyAA:
Oga you wan die?

Leave the married woman alone na

They say if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, its a rat...if you don't wanna eat it, why then are you smelling it?

Please nobody wants to guess what your intentions are, remember almost doesn't count.

You don't need to go to her shop, besides you said there are odr shops der, why can't you go to one of the odr shops instead, its until they beat you up that you'll learn ba?

It may be true you r not having an affair with the said lady but that's not what ppl think, trust me, 'people' have told d man all manner of things happened BTW u n d wife b4 he came back

If you don't like your life, at least save the woman's marriage, free them, you may decide to drop d kids bcs of d irregular pay, if the woman pleads then ask 2 speak with the husband to know when you will b paid, that way the man decides if you will still b tutoring his kids or not, whatever d case, please keep your relationship with them, especially the wife professional and cordial.

Greet them and talk to them only when you need to.

Be wise bro

thanks for the candid advice.
I think this will go a long way

Oga which akin stupid question you day ask.

LEAVE the man's wife alone

truthsayer009:
Oga which akin stupid question you day ask.

LEAVE the man's wife alone

leaving her is the easiest thing for me to do....
BTW am not holding her...
Also planning to stop taking her kids and stop branching at her shop.

But she might think my action change because of her up and down in the means of payment.

Thats where am having the issue

Never deny the kids the very best of you because of their father who perhaps feels broken cos of his present predicament. You make him feel less of a man seeing you around.

Remember how women sang David into trouble by singing 'Saul has slain thousands while David has slain tens of thousands' I predict the wife has sang your praises to high heavens and you've outshone the master.

Just maintain two mile radius to the wife's shop from henceforth. Look to the bright side. you've got a lot teaching offers on your table to worry about.

All the very best.

What exactly is wrong with Nigerians? No wonder we're far behind in every indices of development, because we run away from fixing issues the way they should be fixed.

A woman's husband has a problem with you and you have not even discussed the issue with the woman. Neither have you subsequently had a sit down with her husband to understand the grouse he has against you. Instead you have arrogated yourself as a prophet to conclude that he thinks you 're having an affair with his wife. Except you're truly having the said affair.

Since you've chosen not to handle the issue properly. Stop taking her kids lessons asap and cut every tie you have with the family.

Keep the woman and her kids at arms length,so that they will be the one asking you what's wrong.

Lytech:
Pardon my blunders....
The message is what matters most..


As a primary school teacher who earn below 20k monthly,i decide taking some extra coaching both at work and home coaching.

Early last year,I was lucky to meet this wealthy igbo man who offer to pay me 20k monthly for taking his four kids 3times a week(home lesson). I was happy and gladly accept the offer as i dont need to waste a dime on TFARE (very close to my house). I tried to put in my best jst to impress the man(God help me in the process)

The man has some shops he built infront of his house. A woman who operate a beerpalour happens to be an occupant. She approached me one evening asking if i can help tutor her kids. I declined as i dont have time. She begged and i asked if she will allow her kids to join me in school in the evening(mix them with the student i take in school). She agreed and God used me to transform her kids.

She was impressed and have preached the gospel about me to people around her. Currently,i met a man through her who is paying me 10k for tutoring his 3children on saturdays and sundays.

We are this close that i do stay in her shop to whiletime and charge my phone on most cases when am through with my lessons.
Her husband had an accident of recent and had a broken leg.he was admitted in the hospital close to 2month.i was there to check on him twice to show some concern before he was discharged and could recall going there with some provisions on the two visit. For the past 3months now,there payment have not been regular... I didnt complain bcoz i understand their situation.


The main issue.....


Ever since the man was discharged,he do stay with his wife in her shop because he cant go to work with his leg.ofrecent,i observe this strange look on him towards me. He do snub my greeting and most cases avoid my greetings. I dont really take that as an issue but i told a close friend about what i noticed.

I was with the woman landlord kids ystdy when my friend who wanted to use my room come around to collect key.i ask him to wait for me at the woman shop bcoz the gate which lead to the man house was locked and the landlord was around.


On getting to the woman shop,i try greeting the man which he ignore as usual.i backed him while attending to my friend. My friend notice the lion look on the man and asked us to leave immediately. He told me the man looked me like he should shot me with Gun.

Now i suspect he thought am having an affairs with his wife(close to 40yrs while am jst 27yrs).before God and man i never think of it for a moment talkless of making a move.


I become scared and afraid. I taught of stopping taking their kids and avoid the wife but there is no way i will enter into the landlord compound without passing through her shop,plus thats the route to my house from work.

Even if i avoid the woman and her shop,that wont still clear the man thought about me... And i wish to clear myself from the husband.


Fellow nairalander.....
Please help me out with some piece of advice on this issue.
Thanks.

This is sad. A young man hustling LEGALLY to make ends meet, made to fear for his life due to the insecurities of another.

You made a couple of blunders which I'll point out to you:

Firstly, you DON'T mix business with pleasure otherwise the lines of professionalism get blurred. What business was it of yours to go visit her husband at hospital and take provisions to him? twice. Are you his wife??

Secondly you're getting way too familiar for comfort by hanging around the beer parlour she runs. If you aren't buying or being entertained by friends there, then stay away. Yes, I know you're grateful to her for sourcing/driving business your way but you're overdoing it.

Thirdly, now her husband is incapacitated and unable to bring income to his home, he will feel tetchy about wifey using up the limited resources on tuition, thus him taking it out on you. You yourself admits they aren't regular with payments and have fallen into arrears. Try and understand where the man is coming from. He didn't have issues with you prior to his accident but now he does.

Now what you need to do:

~ It's not your place to confront / placate / reassure her husband that there's nothing going on between you two. You're not a marriage counsellor. Leave that to them to sort out. No carry your young head enter husband and wife matta. Simply tell madam you can't continue with teaching her kids as you too need money to pay your bills. Country too hard for Igbesi market

~ In the meantime, focus on your other clients. i.e. the wealthy trader paying you N20k for tutoring his 3 kids, and the other man who pays you N10k for teaching his kids on weekends.

Be smart.

Afam4eva:
What exactly is wrong with Nigerians? No wonder we're far behind in every indices of development, because we run away from fixing issues the way they should be fixed.

A woman's husband has a problem with you and you have not even discussed the issue with the woman. Neither have you subsequently had a sit down with her husband to understand the grouse he has against you. Instead you have arrogated yourself as a prophet to conclude that he thinks you 're having an affair with his wife. Except you're truly having the said affair.

Since you've chosen not to handle the issue properly. Stop taking her kids lessons asap and cut every tie you have with the family.

am yet to take any decision..
Comfronting the man might be dangerous as he might pass the aggression on me instantly.

Telling the woman sound cool,but she might handle the issue immaturely which might inturn fuel the issue.

I suggest i stay away from them and let them look for me rather that causing issue in their marriage.

But seriously,have learnt my lesson

EfemenaXY:


This is sad. A young man hustling LEGALLY to make ends meet, made to fear for his life due to the insecurities of another.

You made a couple of blunders which I'll point out to you:

Firstly, you DON'T mix business with pleasure otherwise the lines of professionalism get blurred. What business was it of yours to go visit her husband at hospital and take provisions to him? twice. Are you his wife??

Secondly you're getting way too familiar for comfort by hanging around the beer parlour she runs. If you aren't buying or being entertained by friends there, then stay away. Yes, I know you're grateful to her for sourcing/driving business your way but you're overdoing it.

Thirdly, now her husband is incapacitated and unable to bring income to his home, he will feel tetchy about wifey using up the limited resources on tuition, thus him taking it out on you. You yourself admits they aren't regular with payments and have fallen into arrears. Try and understand where the man is coming from. He didn't have issues with you prior to his accident but now he does.

Now what you need to do:

~ It's not your place to confront / placate / reassure her husband that there's nothing going on between you two. You're not a marriage counsellor. Leave that to them to sort out. No carry your young head enter husband and wife matta. Simply tell madam you can't continue with teaching her kids as you too need money to pay your bills. Country too hard for Igbesi market

~ In the meantime, focus on your other clients. i.e. the wealthy trader paying you N20k for tutoring his 3 kids, and the other man who pays you N10k for teaching his kids on weekends.

Be smart.

my second mistake leads to the first...
My familiarity with the woman prompt my going to the hospital to visit the man.

Have learnt my lesson though,i jst pray the issue will die down immediately i start ignoring both husband and wife ...

The funniest part is... Am a close friend to the husband before he had an accident... We do sat to forecast games(bet9ja) every friday night

I just hope you are not teaching those children English language.

The poster u quoted above me has said it all

Now, they kids are going to suffer because of their dad's actions.
My advice, stop taking the kids and if the woman ask u, tell her the whole stuff, so that she will feel like you are ungrateful and wicked. Tell her that you want to avoid her and everything that concerns her. You don't have to keep her in dark of your reason.

Ezionye:
I just hope you are not teaching those children English language.

The poster u quoted above me has said it all

It's no biggie. Guess it typographical error. At least his expression is not too bad.

Lytech:

leaving her is the easiest thing for me to do....
BTW am not holding her...
Also planning to stop taking her kids and stop branching at her shop.

But she might think my action change because of her up and down in the means of payment.

Thats where am having the issue

At this point,should you be bothered about your safety or what she may think of you if you act? Avoid that family. You can still tutor the kids,but that should be all. Do not hang around the woman or her shop,cut down on the familiarity-keep it formal...

Lytech:

leaving her is the easiest thing for me to do....
BTW am not holding her...
Also planning to stop taking her kids and stop branching at her shop.

But she might think my action change because of her up and down in the means of payment.

Thats where am having the issue

Stop giving lessons to the kids. And avoid the family. Let the woman look for another person to teach her kids. You're not the only teacher, so that shouldn't be a problem.
If she asks why, just tell her you sense her husband is not happy about it, and for now you want to be out of the picture.
Maybe the woman and the children have been praising you so much in front of their father. They probably praise you more than they talk fondly about him. He should start teaching his children since he's still recuperating.

eyinjuege:


Stop giving lessons to the kids. And avoid the family. Let the woman look for another person to teach her kids. You're not the only teacher, so that shouldn't be a problem.
If she asks why, just tell her you sense her husband is not happy about it, and for now you want to be out of the picture.
Maybe the woman and the children have been praising you so much in front of their father. They probably praise you more than they talk fondly about him. He should start teaching his children since he's still recuperating.

his kids are currently writing their exams,so i will try and guide them till they finish it.


Though,the scenerio have already started ystdy.
I didnt bother greeting the man talkless of branching his wife shop.
The wife was hailing me.i just smile and pass without ultering a word.


But the truth is....
Am faulty,i shouldnt have create the familiarity in the first place.

I just pray am out of the mess on time.