20 JOKES THAT WOULD DEFINITELY MAKE YOU LAUGH

(20). Age 7: I want to be a doctor �

Age 16: Mum look! All A’s �

Age 20: Medicine is hard �

Age 35: Make some noise for DJ Emeka!!!

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(19). I feel sorry for ladies with small breasts. That’s why their heart gets broken easily. They have no airbags to support their emotions.�������



(18). That awkward moment when you help your crush with her assignment and she gets zero.���� My brother just forget about the explanation and go your way peacefully.���



(17). Please is it true that Chatting with a fat girl consumes a lot of data ?���



(16). To those girls who feel too big to reply messages, A time will come that you will be desperate for a husband. That’s when a man will ask you “How are you doing?” And you will reply “YES I DO” �����



(15). MAD MAN: Doctor, i have a problem; everyday i dream of cows playing football
DOCTOR: Here; take these tablets at night
MAD MAN: I’ll start tomorrow because today is finals �



(14). Slim ladies are beautiful the problem come when she is pregnant, she looks like python that has swallowed a goat�����������������������



(13). It is only in a Nigeria movie that you will see cassava plant in an Evil forest. Who planted the cassava??
Do spirit plant cassava too??



(12). Tiny girls don’t use pad when menstruating they use cotton wool. Please no tiny girl should insult me am not feeling fine���



(11). It was so funny today when a pastor at the market was preaching about alcoholism but using alomo bitters box to collect the offering.�����



(10). When you sit down for an interview and the interviewer greet you by your Facebook name

Good day “Miss slay queen hottest bae.

My sister just pack your CV and run.

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(9). Dear ladies if your boyfriend doesn’t reply you immediately when you text… Just know he is either sleeping or reading the bible.. MEN DON’T CHEAT �����



(. Using a public toilet without lock is really annoying, Anytime you hear footsteps you have to either sing, clear your throat or use your leg to wedge the door for them to know that you are inside.



(7). Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says “Go and lock the door first…”



(6). Small Apple � Is Now #100.. Something The Serpent �Gave Eve For Free��



(5). QUOTE OF THE DAY!!
No matter how bad you are, you’re not useless. You can still be used as a bad example.
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(4). The ways girls will convince that you are handsome if you have money, you will stand if front of the mirror and you will be like “Maybe I should go into modeling.. My brother don’t be deceived, remain where you are. �



(3). Breast-less girl still wearing bra. What are you trying to hold? Your heart or your feelings����



(2). When am bored I call MTN customer care and ask why my phone isn’t charging… �



(1). Ladies being single ends at 25. You can’t be 26+ and you are talking of being single. Your not single but Unmarried.

Say it with me: I am U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D �������



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Five Jokes That Would Make You Laugh Your Ass Out


5. "A bank manager confused with his maths, asked his secretary to help out, ""I have $23,000,000, what will you take off to get 25%?""

She replied ""Sir, honestly I will take off my blouse, my skirt, my bra even my panties"""����


4. If you want to Know if a girl has strength, try removing her trouser when She Knows She is wearing a dirty pant.��


3. Slim Girls who go for jogging at dawn. Sister, What do you want to lose again? Your life?


2. Patient: Dr please am I ugly?
Doctor :“ You're not ugly”
Patient : But everybody says I'm ugly !”
Doctor : “Listen , you are not ugly"
Patient :“ I know I'm ugly ”
Doctor : “You are a fine, strong looking man ”
Patient : “ I'm a woman ”
Doctor : Holy Shit!!!...���


1. So you mean Satan was in the garden alone with Eve who was naked and all he could think of is to deceive her to eat an Apple����
That nigga is gay!!!

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What would be your own reaction ?

TOP TEN (10) JOKES THIS WEEK

10. Toothpicks were missing in the house, then my Mother asked our maid, and she was like: �it’s not me, even when I use I put them back
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9. Some African Parents will be like ‘I will not place curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a proclamation or a declaration??



8. Women already have 3-5 days of loosing blood every month. Can’t mosquitoes be considerate and focus only on men..



7. Everyone has a right to be foolish but some idiots use it stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10 wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . .

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6. My school teacher taught me most of the lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my uncle abroad when she knows my uncle is in the village. �����



5. Dating a church girl is the best….I cheat, she finds out, we pray together and blame the devil
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4. A rapists entered a bedroom, tied up a husband and wife…kissed the wife’s ear and went to the bathroom….The husband said to the wife “Satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love u”. Wife replied: “He didn’t kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he is a gay, he need vaseline and i told him it’s in the bathroom, so be strong i love u too….!!! Husband fainted.



3. My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me “Your last seen on whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread”����



2. Some people don’t have the spirit of forgiveness at all, how can u sweep your room and use your Ex’ picture as parker…
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1. No one is more respectful than a person who wants to borrow money from u…
He can even greet ur dog ….. He would be like:
Hello bingo� how are u?�����⚡�⚡�⚡�



Read More Funny Short Jokes From: http://ayojokes.com.ng

New Short Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing Throughout Today.

School Kids In Class Were Asked To Write 3 Diseases. One Guy Wrote:

1. Hiv/Aids
2. Cancer
3. /

Teacher : What is / ?
Student : it’s stroke.
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Nigerian Premier League to introduce RED CARD for removing jerseys after BODY ODOUR kills Linesman during goal celebration.�����������



WIFE: Sweety, how many women have you slept with after we got married?
HUSBAND: (quiet)
WIFE: (10 minutes later) Sweety, I asked you a question !
HUSBAND: (Quiet)
WIFE: (15 minutes later)Are you afraid to tell me the truth?
HUSBAND: Will you just shut up and let me finish counting!!!���



Some girls are wicked!

Just because he gave you his number during a burial…
You now saved it with “burial boy”���������



When God wants to play your video on judgement day and it starts with” WARNING!! 18+” just walk majestically to hell your qualified

I refuse to sleep yesterday because my girlfriend told me good night and rest in peace. ������Am not ready to die.



When Igbo girls tells you “I am Solly” You start wondering if they are introducing themselves. � Don’t bother yourself, they meant “Sorry”



A guy and a lady were trying to sort relationship issues behind my window ��

Lady : How can u do this to me?

Guy : I am sorry babe she tricked me, I even went two rounds.

Lady : I love u Kojo

Guy : Then stop crying

Lady : No dear, the thing is spreading too much.

Guy : What?

Lady : My HIV Aids.

The guy has collapsed as I am typing. � � �



Man confessing to Priest via WhatsApp …..

Man : “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I read dirty jokes in WhatsApp, viewed pornography and also viewed naked women’s pictures on my smart phone.”

Priest : “Forward all your sins to me.” ���



It must be tough for those ladies who are married to teachers. Instead of finding money in their pockets, they find chalk and lists of noise makers…���

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Nice jokes anyway...

You can try to make a compilation of your jokes to sell on Kindle.

You will need more originality, be more resourceful and universal appeal.

Let your jokes and one-liners have an appeal to both the international and local communities.

You can be making at least 30-80$ a day with proper marketing strategy on KINDLE

Overall, have a pleasant day.

ihustler:
Nice jokes anyway...

You can try to make a compilation of your jokes to sell on Kindle.

You will need more originality, be more resourceful and universal appeal.

Let your jokes and one-liners have an appeal to both the international and local communities.

You can be making at least 30-80$ a day with proper marketing strategy on KINDLE

Overall, have a pleasant day.

Thanks Sir. I would try it out.

I was badly beaten by a woman in an elevator today. I was staring at her boobs then she said, "Would you please press one?" I thought she was talking ABOUT HER BOOBS.

She nearly killed me after i pressed her left Boobs.

Five Hot Short Jokes For Guys – All Will Make Your Day.

1. That awkward moment when your witch girlfriend is giving you BJ and she receives an info that she is to present a pen** as offering in meeting. My brother, the bible says: It Is Finished.

2. As a man when you start waking up with no morning erection , Oga! It’s time to write a will.

3. Some guys will wake up by 2am to pee and they will post on Facebook. “Real hustlers don’t sleep”. Brother, Who are you deceiving ? www.ayojokes.com.ng

4. Two friends were discussing:
Boltu : You know, my grandfather is a brave man. He went to the jungle of Africa in the last summer and suddenly confronted by a tiger.
Montu : Really! After return he must be applauded by everyone.
Boltu : I never said he came back.

5. She paid you a visit and drank 12 bottles of beer without getting drunk.. My brother, just offer her kolanut..You are dating your ancestor.

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10 New Nigeria Short Jokes That Will Get You Rolling On The Floor While Laughing.

1. My friend wrote an application letter, instead of writing dear MADAM , he mistakenly wrote dear MADMAN ����

Hope he's still getting the job.

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2. When a guy doesn't love you anymore you will hear things like ... baby why did you step on my shadow ? Do you want to injure my spirit ? It's over please!
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3. It's only in NIGERIA people will knock on your door and still uses their mouth to do "ko-ko-ko"

Nigerians.... But Y? ���

4. My friend when your crush finally texts you and say "Hi how are you?" Do not waste time just reply "I'm single and you?" I repeat do not waste time.

✋�✋�✋����

5. When you treat your woman nicely, God will bless you with another one .

Am I making any sense?
�������

6. Dear smokers,
The kidney you are damaging with cigarette,why not sell it and buy G-wagon� for your parents�?

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7. Abeg I hate people replying me with "hmmmm" during chats or bringing it into our chats... It makes me remember the money I lost in MMM.

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8. Ladies imagine walking into heaven & the kids you aborted shouts. "Angel Gabriel..!! na she be that..! See her see her!!! Na she b dat!!!!

�����‍♂��

9. Because a girl replied u with "thanks love "
You now rush to inbox her. Now she snubbed u.
U see as u disgrace urself•

������

10. Women behave mature and intelligent during d period of pregnancy Because at d same time her body have 2 brains, the child's & her own. ������

Continue Reading From: http://ayojokes.com.ng/10-new-nigeria-short-jokes-that-will-get-you-rolling-on-the-floor-while-laughing/

More Short Jokes!

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Naija Short Jokes You Can't Read Without laughing


Struggling For Food At Naija Party Joke

That moment you are struggling for food at a Naija wedding and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg.
Now all eyes are on you. You will just realise that you have bellefull under 3 seconds.

Naija Guy Joke

If a Naija guy tells you he is not like other men. My sister, ask him if he can give birth. Nonsense Boys!



Naija Student Joke

JSS 1: I want to be a Doctor.

SSS 1: I want to be a Lawyer.

10 Years Later: Contact me for your iTunes gift card for instant cash out.

Naija Girl Joke

When a Naija girl ask you for N50,000 and you gave her N100,000 instead. She will be like: "That baby, but don't forget the N50,000 i asked you.

Made It In Naija Joke

Finally, i have made it in Naija. I can now speak French.

Born June Mama, Come On Serve Her, Serve Her Beer Mercy.

Naija Girls And Food

Some Naija girls love food so much, you will take her to the zoo and ask what's her favourite animal and she will answer: "Roasted Chicken".

Read Full From: http://ayojokes.com.ng/naija-short-jokes-cant-read-without-laughing/