# Self Sacrifice - is when two witches from your village are discussing who's gonna be the next victim..... then u pass by singing " I'm the one" by Dj Khaled..... You are finished

# Who Else has ever Missed a Call from an unknown number then quickly Save the Number as *hdjdhfjsx* and go to whatsapp to check their DP!!!!

I will Name My Daughter
"Not Interested"
So when these Bad Guys be like
Hi Babe, I am Dennis
She will simply be like
Hi Dennis, I am Not Interested.
Who is wit me on this ?? ;d

Feel free to add yours....i'll update as soon as I come up with new jokes

Cc Lalasticlala

# I Bought Power Bank N650
...And I Was Very Happy It Was Cheap Until My Phone Started Charging The Power Bank

# I just love Nigeria universities, their identity cards comes with rope,. Just incase you are tired of life....

# Someone better tell Etisalat that no matter how they try, ain't nobody gonna start calling them 9mobile. They should Goan ask NEPA

# Who else know dis song...... E-maaaaiiiiil..... Email her... Email her .. Jehovah mail her..... Ayinekere gynamstics Email her... Email her.... Jehovah mail her!

I kept two cubes of sugar on the table. One smart Ant came...saw it,was all over the sugar licking it and was so excited. And left! I know it has gone to tell other Ants about the sugar. So I'm going to hide the sugar and clean that place, so that when they all come... They'll beat him up and think he's a liar! LOL. Am I wicked?

# NAIJA POLICE BE LIKE
Oga why are you walking on the road with singlet in this cold weather You want cold to enter your body so you can go and look for somebody's daughter to rape abi??
You are under arrest for attempting rape in advance my friend enter motor.......remember any word you say here will be used against you in the court...

nyz one... keep it UP

# Guy : Bae, can we see today? Bae: Are we Blind before?

# God told a black man: ask me anything u want and i will give it to you , but i will give double to your neighbor . Then he started thinking. If i ask 10billions he will give 20billions to my neighbor , if i ask 100billions, he will give him 200billions. Then he asked God to remove one of his eyes
.
Which country can such a man be from?

# Are you a student? Are you broke? You need some cash? Need to flex? Need to change your wardrobe? Need to take your girl out?? Need to get new stuff . . .














. . Well listen carefully... . . That is none of my business

# Dat embarassing moment when u sitting beside ur crush in church then ur younger brother came runing with 20naira in his hand
Brother... Mum said i shuld giv u for offering
Lwkm
Shift lemme faint..

# African mothers be like..... Mom: which game are u playing Me: assassins creed Mum: God forbid.... My son cannot be an assassin. oya remove it quick.....

# Some GIRLS just have bad luck in relationships. They can date a cripple and the cripple will still walk out of their life.

# This morning, A slay queen majestically walked into a GTBank and said she wants to open a Facebook account.... Ayam still waiting for my turn to faint cos we are fainting turn by Turn

i Hate It When Somebody tell a girl “You Don’t Look Like You Can Cook” I Mean, is she Supposed To Braid her Hair With Vegetables And Decorate her Ears With Tomatoes And Onions Just to Have The “Cook Look “ jxt saying ooo

# I had 5,000 friends I deleted one fat girl I now have 2,500 friends

# Dating a Girl on Social Media without seeing each other is like having a Spiritual Wife ...

# No one is as respectful as the person who want to borrow money from u, they will greet everybody even your dog.
They'll be like "bingo how are you? Such a handsome dog"

A very useful advice Ladies feed your man very well, a fat man can't 'Run' away

"A man who was tired of Life decided to commit suicide under a Mango Tree.The son quickly ran to him and said,"Dad,I won $10 million in Lotto.I promise you that your Funeral would be a Big Celebration!!
The Dad said to him,"Foolish Boy,Untie me quickly and Let's go and Celebrate my Resurrection!

Dear Girlfriends who are ignoring us because of Telemundo. Do you Know EPL is starting next week?
# We will see

❏ There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

# Pls where can i do DNA test?? My mind is telling me that neymar Jr is my blood brother

it is only in Nigeria that "Who are you?" is not a
question, it's an insult. a serious insult depending on the Situation and "Are you talking to me?" is more of a threat than a question.

#She was My crush until I asked Her "Between a boy and a Girl which one would you prefer as your First Born"..
.
.
.
Then she Said "I want My first Daughter to be a A Girl"....

# Break up can really damage your Health


I Remember The Time I Got Dumped via WhatsApp While I was on My way to pick My Nephew at Pre-school...
I came Home with a Wrong Child...

A girl asked me who cheats the most, Femail or Mail ?? . I told her E-mail,G-mail...Post Office...

# Neymar to earn £3,547 per hour. And he doesn't even have WAEC. Continue boasting am a graduate so...
Me teaching my son his ABC
A for Adidas
B for Back pass
C for crossing
D for Dribbling
He must learn by fire by force...
E for Extra Time
F for Foul
G for Goal
H for Half Time
He must play football!!!

I tire o