My ex boyfriend sent me a card on valentine's day. I wasn't expecting anything since we're not together anymore. I didn't want to be rude so i sent him a text saying "thanks". . .Now the whole situation bothers me. I broke up with him 3 weeks ago coz he was misbehaving. I have to be honest to myself, i still love him. I've dated a few guys before him but he's the first one i fell for. . . I feel like i should talk to him but i have no clue what to say, i'm not even sure if i want him back.

well he obviously still wants you

thats why he sent the card

but it does sound a bit like one of those 'games men play'
if ur unfamiliar i cannot be bothered to explain! sawy

neways wait for him to call u, ask him what he wants and then see if ur ok with it

but dont forget there is a reason why u broke up

u just need a distraction,

ayettymama:

well he obviously still wants you

thats why he sent the card

but it does sound a bit like one of those 'games men play'
if your unfamiliar i cannot be bothered to explain! sawy

neways wait for him to call u, ask him what he wants and then see if your ok with it

but dont forget there is a reason why u broke up

Thanks Ayettymama, I don't think he's playing games tho, the guy is a grown man, almost 38. Like you said i won't contact him unless he does. . . Why is it so hard for men to express themselves

blandyne:


Thanks Ayettymama, I don't think he's playing games tho, the guy is a grown man, almost 38. Like you said i won't contact him unless he does. . . Why is it so hard for men to express themselves

did he not just sent you a card

kokoye:

did he not just sent you a card

kokoye:

did he not just sent you a card

@ Kokoye
lmao, come on u know exactly what i meant. Did he ever occur to u that maybe he wasn't clear enough?

^^^^

blandyne:

My ex boyfriend sent me a card on valentine's day. I wasn't expecting anything since we're not together anymore. I didn't want to be rude so i sent him a text saying "thanks". . .Now the whole situation bothers me. I broke up with him 3 weeks ago coz he was misbehaving. I have to be honest to myself, i still love him. I've dated a few guys before him but he's the first one i fell for. . . I feel like i should talk to him but i have no clue what to say, i'm not even sure if i want him back.

Mark the bolded words. what do you really want?

he already sent you a card on valentine's day so he placed the ball in your court. Since you broke up with him, you should make the next move if you truly want him.

. . .but of course, you are still not sure if you want him. That's why the smart guy played safe by sending you a card, even though you broke up with him.

@kokoye
You're right i'm not sure if i want him back. You want to know what i want ? Here we go:
I want him to truly apologize for ignoring me
I want him to tell me clearly what he thinks and stop assuming that i already know
And most importantly I want him to realize that i'm different from his ex girlfriends.

Girl if u still love or like him i think u should let him know.

learn to swalow ur pride - just swallow ur pride and call him - ask him an apology and tell him ur feelings - there are no hard and fast rules  

blandyne:

@kokoye
You're right i'm not sure if i want him back. You want to know what i want ? Here we go:
I want him to truly apologize for ignoring me
I want him to tell me clearly what he thinks and stop assuming that i already know
And most importantly I want him to realize that i'm different from his ex girlfriends.

good. Now we are getting somewhere.

Now how is he supposed to have the confidence to do all these things when you have broken up with him?

Again, he has shown he still wants you by sending the card

You then need to encourage and motivate him to do the things you want.

So how do you want to go about this? definately not thru Nairaland

You want him to open his mouth . . .why dont you teach him by opening yours?

goodluck if you truly want him.

woye77:

learn to swalow your pride - just swallow your pride and call him - ask him an apology and tell him your feelings - there are no hard and fast rules  

You hard him, there's no big deal if you say am sorry or just payhim a visit he will apologise cos from the look of things it seems you guys value your prides thats the problem that disturb many relationship today. Just haken to what the poster said. Love is what matters

blandyne:


Thanks Ayettymama, I don't think he's playing games tho, the guy is a grown man, almost 38. Like you said i won't contact him unless he does. . . Why is it so hard for men to express themselves

men play games without even knowin it

for example, hes missing u he thot val was a good opportunity to express it

whats wrong with simply calling you and tellin u?? Cos he's waiting for your response

should his feelings be based on your response?? if he has any feelings for you then no!

thats why i think he might be playin games- tryna see if u still want him then jumpin at the opportunity!

neways sha tell us how it goes

wait o.

but a 38yr old man still sending a valentine card to somegirl that's not sure if he wants him??

he's almost 40 . . .and charity begins at 40. 

I think if you're still so conflicted about the relationship, you should call him. Not necessarily to reconcile or anything, but just to discuss things. For the sake of closure, or for the sake of seeing if there's anything salvageable from your relationship. It might not make anything better but at least in the future, you'll be able to say you gave it a last effort.

Just start the convo casually like, "How are you? How've you been? I was surprised to get a vals card from you. . ." and take it from there. Maybe it will lead to you guys discussing your issues, but at the very least you might discover from him why exactly he sent you the card.

^^ thats the fonecall hes been waitin for; so he can savage her!

kokoye:

wait o.

but a 38yr old man still sending a valentine card to somegirl that's not sure if he wants him??

he's almost 40 . . .and charity begins at 40.

dnt mind the old man ooo

but maybe hes arnd the same age as poster??

^^^ maybe he's the poster?

^^ lol

@Kokoye
FYI i'm in my 20's.


@Tatase, Woye77, Duniverse
It's a well know fact, stated by many that i can have too much pride sometimes. But you have to understand his behaviors led me to end things. So i think if he's remorseful he should be more proactive and show me that he still cares, Why can he swallow his pride and say he messed up ? I'm just tired of compromising. . .Lately i've put my feelings aside to analyze the whole situation and i realize that we don't communicate at all. It's always been me talking so if he really cares why doesn't he come out of his comfort zone for once. . .Anyways i should stop whining and let it be, if God wants it to happen, it will.

One more thing, he sent me a text saying he really meant what he wrote in the card. My reply was: " Meanwhile your actions show otherwise". Still now he hasn't say anything

@OP: Or maybe he fought with you so that he wont have to spend money on valentine's day and he can send an ordinary card, and now he wants to try and come back into your arms

Ghredon:

@OP: Or maybe he fought with you so that he wont have to spend money on valentine's day and he can send an ordinary card, and now he wants to try and come back into your arms

Sorry that's not the case. We started fighting right after he came back from London which was the second week of january.