Hello fellow nairalanders, recently a doctor I met rather insulted me by saying that my 15 month old son was in disciplined and that he was going to turn into a nuisance when he grows up. Her reasons- he was gurgling and blabbering in her office ( which was a sign of 'hyperactivity', according to her) she also learnt that he naps during daytime, she thinks it is not appropriate to sleep before bedtime. Before you conclude, he is not a spoilt brat, he is a normal friendly kid and not too fussy or cranky, he also gets his share of "disciplinary lessons' appropriate for his age, but things like blabbering/gurgling in public and sleeping when you feel sleepy are normal for young kids of his age, don't you think? Do you feel I should start to discipline my one and only child or should I wait for an year or two, when he is old enough to understand right from wrong?

Hmmmm. So gurglinng and blabbering is now a cime in a 15-month old?
And by disciplinary measures you intend to do what? Hit him across the head when he babbles?
Better thank your stars that you have an active toddler and not a morose one. For crying out loud he is just a year and three months old yet your doctor friend expects an adult that behaves with decorum in an office.
Or perhaps she was just kidding. As a mother people will give you loads of advice on how to bring up your child. But you don't have to do all you are told.

@poster
is that what that Ikoyi pediatrician that you talked about on another thread told you?
she must have made that diploma up!

na wa o. . .did u ask her wot type of discipline she thought was appropriate?. . .see me see quacks o!

Ah, I'm so relieved to see people who think like me. You give up many things you thought were important in life, just to be there for your kid only for somebody to raise a finger at your parenting skills,

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
is that what that Ikoyi pediatrician that you talked about on another thread told you?
she must have made that diploma up!

yes o , I forgot to mention that I was called a bad parent for letting my baby sleep with me on my bed instead of leaving him alone in a room at night

chaircover:

Please tell me that the doctor in question is a 21 year old who has just graduated from medical school

Nope, she seems to be in her fifties, would have happily ignored the comment, had it been from a 'small girl' who still doesn't know what it takes to be a mom

hmmm, are you sure the doctor in question is not frustrated , i have a 16 months old daughter and during her last trip to the pediatrician the doctor told me she was 'hyper' ( my daughter blabbers alot and her nick name is area scatter) she advised that i should get her engaged with leggos and puzzles so she can channel her energy into something educative and constructive. i have never heard that you need to discipline a child when he blabbers

please o! don't mind this nonsense doctor you have a perfectly healthy child. like my friend usually says in yoruba: je ki omo sere , nigba ti a bi omo ode

chaircover:

Please tell me that the doctor in question is a 21 year old who has just graduated from medical school

What does that imply?

These so called experts make me crazy, My son, who is now ten years old, loves his sleep! He is a very active boy both mentally and physically. He had day time sleeps til he was four years old. A doctor told me to stop his day sleep cos he was too old at 3yrs. I tried but i would find my boy asleep in the strangest places, he would just lay himself down and go to sleep anywhere, so from then on figured its what he needed and he still loves his sleep and goes to bed much earlier than other kids his age. And the babbling thing, Oh my goodness!!! Thats them learning to talk and communicate, unreal, i would dump that doctor. My boy never stopped in his awake hours, a child babbling is the best sound. You are his parents so do what you think is right for your child. No one knows your child better than you.

Thank you all for your reassurance. I could go on and on about the way the woman misbehaved with me. When asked about his food habits, I told her that he has not been eating well for about a week (that is why I took him to a doctor, he has got a rash all over his body and was being cranky most of the time, unlike what he used to be ), she immediately concluded that I was a bad cook and that is why my baby was rejecting my food!!! She did not forget to tell me how one of her secretary's kid refused to eat and when she gave that kid some of her own food, he finished everything in a second. She went on insulting me that I ran out crying. My husband was equally shocked, not because of her attitude, but because he saw me crying in public for the first time. We've been married for 5 years now and this was the first time he was witnessing something like this !

Pls., what is this all about? is it about ababy? if yes pls., delete this for they in no meaning in this.

chaircover:

Please tell me that the doctor in question is a 21 year old who has just graduated from medical school

Very funny

What stopped you from telling this doctor off?

. . . suffice it 2 say, u need another pediatrician!

ponnusma:

Thank you all for your reassurance. I could go on and on about the way the woman misbehaved with me. When asked about his food habits, I told her that he has not been eating well for about a week (that is why I took him to a doctor, he has got a rash all over his body and was being cranky most of the time, unlike what he used to be ), she immediately concluded that I was a bad cook and that is why my baby was rejecting my food!!! She did not forget to tell me how one of her secretary's kid refused to eat and when she gave that kid some of her own food, he finished everything in a second. She went on insulting me that I ran out crying. My husband was equally shocked, not because of her attitude, but because he saw me crying in public for the first time. We've been married for 5 years now and this was the first time he was witnessing something like this !

Why did you cry?
You should have dished it out to her, and she would be crying instead.
Get the quack doctor out of ur son's life, he doesn't need bad air like that around him

Dark1:

. . . suffice it 2 say, u need another pediatrician!

I know , thats why I posted a question in the health section asking whether anybody knew about a good paediatrician ,

ifedy:

Why did you cry?
You should have dished it out to her, and she would be crying instead.
Get the quack doctor out of your son's life, he doesn't need bad air like that around him

Well, she caught me off guard, really, nobody has humiliated me so much, anybody with an iota of self respect would have broken down with that sort of behaviour , esp when it comes from someone you hardly expect it from'

Dont mind the bad belle witch.
child eater.
Let the child be a child jare; it is actually harmful to restrain kids because
they may grow into timid adults.


A PEDIATRICIAN that should know better than anybody about kids. na wa.

Liar! U certainly patronized a herbal practitioner aka herbalists aka elewe-omo, mschew!

@poster

1. Change your doctor, location does not mean they know anything.
2. Your 'baby' should nap every afternoon.
3. Babies from 12 to 24 months and sometimes 36 months often go off food, give lots of liquid and whatever food catches his/her fancy.
4. You can speak in a different voice tone when you want your baby to know you are not joking and don't smile when doing it, when the baby complies reward with a hug and say "i love you".
5. Discipline of any sort should not start till 24 months and it doesn't have to be spanking at the initial stage.
6. When a baby is hyper, engage him/her in activities like singing, works like a dream.
7. Always have fun with your baby!

Remain blessed.

Was at first furious at the doctor when I read the post but listening to everyone insult the doctor got me back to my senses. This doctor notwithstanding her age must have seen lots and lots of sick kids in her practice whom i am sure will be more irritable than ur kid. So, If she noticed something wrong in ur kid, then you might want to look into it. Remember, she is a mother too and has had a massive wealth of experience. It's ok to feel hurt since u might feel threatened that u re not playing a good role as a mother but u can never know it all. To ans ur question on whether u shld discipline ur 15 month old, the ans is YES! I have a 22 month old daughter and at 15 month, i cautioned her when she was out of line and believe me she was incorrigible. Now she is still crazy but adorable crazy. Good Luck

As for the people on this forum, pls stop bashing the doctor. As a health worker, u would not believe the crap people say about health workers and for reasons i am still yet to decipher. Now, i am not saying that the poster is making up the story but for the love of God, we don.t know what transpired in that room. My mom has occasionally cautioned me to ask my baby to behave and yes, when she started rejecting my food, adviced me on what to do to make it more appetizing. @ poster, i bet if ur mom was the doctor, u won't be here. Clearly, there has been a break in communication n it can either be from the doctor who might be the vocal type or the poster/narrator who offends easily. Either way, pls change ur pediatrician if the trust is no longer there or stick with her if u re more concerned with the truth n perhaps the quality health care u will gain from her years of experience.

If the doctor so easily noticed your son was indisciplined and you came here to post it,I think the Doc is prolly right.
BTW,discipline is not maltreatment or violence,your child is indisciplined and by your posting action you've confirmed it,as soon as a child learns how to talk,you begin to teach them what is right and wrong,some even before then

There is nothing wrong with your child from your description of the events. He is a normal kid. A pediatric clinic is supposed to have a play area. Expect if there was something else that occured that you didnt tell us. I am of the believe that a child is not too young to be disciplined. The extent of discipline is what matters. The child can be disciplined now by having a "time out". He is too young for spanking. Believe me, they know what is right at that age.  Maybe your child did something that you did not see but a third party saw. Dont be mad at that. One person alone can not a raise a child. The society can help.

Every child should play. It is to be encouraged. It prevents obesity. Every child should take a nap. You and I did. Why shouldnt our children? Your child can sleep in your room if you want. It does not matter. If you are not comfortable with the doctor's negativity/ comments, change your doctor.

Myself2:

If the doctor so easily noticed your son was indisciplined and you came here to post it,I think the Doc is prolly right.
BTW,discipline is not maltreatment or violence,your child is indisciplined and by your posting action you've confirmed it,as soon as a child learns how to talk,you begin to teach them what is right and wrong,some even before then

What annoyed her was that he was not sleeping in his own room, he gurgles and blabbers in public and that he napped during daytime. She is a white woman and I'm not. So, our views and ideas on bringing up a child varies. I certainly don't believe in leaving a kid alone in a dark room (she kept reiterating that there shouldn't be any night lamps in a kids room) at bedtime atleast until he can open my bedroom door and walk upto me to say he has had a bad dream or he is not feeling well. Also, my kid was fast asleep when we entered her room, and was awakened by her loud and irritated voice asking "is this boy sleeping?". She was irritated even before she saw my kid awake I guess. He was obviously surprised to see a new room and a new atmosphere and expressed it by smiling, blabbering and clapping once or twice. Not once did he go down on the floor or run round from the time we entered her compound. Not once did he scream or cry. He was just busy observing the new ceiling and the light was surprised to see his mom crying and another woman yelling.

@peacettw  Believe me, as I mentioned in my first post, I do discipline him. It is either a firm no, rolling of eyes and that usually did the trick. But tell me, how do I teach this 15 month old not to gurgle in public? I'm a first time mom and was wondering if people really did spank their little ones for smiling and laughing in public. My child is generally considered to be a quiet child amidst our friends cirlce and this is the very first time somebody was telling me that he was misbehaving.

@MsTom- She practises in her own home, not a clinic/hospital. A room has been converted for her practice. I assume she is not a busy practioner as we were the only ones around during the 2 hours we spend there. I sincerely wish to believe that she was busy doing something else and was disturbed by our visit and hence took out that irritation on us.

@ponnusma,

Why would you take your child to a doctor who practises medicine from her home?! Common now! she can practise anything there. If she is the serious type, let her get an office floor. She is doing ijebu. Or is she a baby sitter running a day care? The health of a child is far more important than that. My advice, look for any pediatrician who has an office.

PS: how does she get the vaccinations? [/b]"A room has been converted for her practice"[b]-- this is so cracy. When it is not a chemist. Quick question: Would you go to a chemist who sells drugs from his room or a chemist who sells from a shop (a chemist who sells from a shop can sometimes pass for a pharmacist or a doctor)? Please think about this.

Hello Ponnusma,
If all your child was doing was baby talk and sleeping.Ha! That is quite normal for children.Maybe the doctor over-reacted or maybe she was having a bad day or maybe she was dealing with personal issues and just lashed at you. Pele! She is not perfect even though she is a Pediatrician. No parent is born with a  manual on how to raise children perfectly. Sometimes it is trial and error,(if you are a christian though,base your child's training on the bible) and for new parents a firstborn child may be their learning curve.
However,as to your question' Do you feel I should start to discipline  my one and only child or should I wait for an year or two, when he is old enough to understand right from wrong? I say NO,do not wait till he is older. Discipline him as appropriate for his age. If he is old enough to recognise you and calls you 'mummy'. Then he is old enough to understand certain rights and wrongs appropriate for his age. Discipline at that age may not necessarily involve caning or frog jumps,etc,etc it MAY take the form of spanking,Scolding in stern tones( do not shout),taking away his favourite toy or toys and rewarding good behaviour.  Your child is not too young to understand that actions have consequences. Your stating that he  is your one and  only sounds as if that should excuse naughty behaviour. Please do not let sentiments cloud your judgement. As a mother,am sure you want what is best for him. The bible says 'Train a child  from infancy' and at Prov 23:13 it says discipline him even if he is  a mere boy as he will not die.
All  the  Best.

its your decision you decide

Well this is painful because i don't have anything to say

I have always felt all kids come with a manual and that the manual has been given to the parents with more pages with the mum, your intuition is your no 1 sure banker when it comes to your child.
Every child is an individual.
My advise buy him a ball if you have got a safe garden/compound send him out to get lots of fresh air and some bruises bo. it will do him good.when he is tired let him sleep ( siesta is actually brilliant for most kids)
(My one and only child is not a good way to describe or treat a child though,you have got to let go of that line of thought and simply use your good judgment which as his mum you possess in abundance.)
So trust it pls!
As for the doctor i will dumb her

b0y:

Liar! U certainly patronized a herbal practitioner aka herbalists aka elewe-omo, mschew!

GBAM!!! Infact u'v jst spoken my mind she isn't a doc too dumb 2 b 1. D only thng she said dt I cn seriously dispute is d babbln part. Evn 'elewe-omo' will tel u it's abnrmal 4 a baby nt 2 babble. I mean isn't it sooo cute n pleasant 2 hear d noise. She's d 1st person I'ld hear sayn dt infact i thnk u made up d story. Sum parents r prayn 4 their babies 2 jst mak a sound. 4 xample my jnr bro dint voice out till he was prolly 2yrs plus neither did he walk. Did u knw d anguish my parents went thru? They thot they had a dummy or slowpoke. My mum was takin im arnd 2 ask if he was ok. All he ws gud @ was 2 suck his fingers n sidown dey luk. Thnks 2 d interventn of God. My mum wept d day she heard im talk. I thnk God 4 his lyf nw he's nw 17 n he's so sharp, smart, active n vry vry inteligent dt pple who knw im wen he ws young can't bliv wot they r seein

From experience no child is too young to be disciplined. Infact, training a child should start from infancy. I'm a living proof.