RETIREDMUMU:


my brother truth gat to be told, no lady nowadays will come for hustling guy than the already made up

There are.. Just that, they may not be the type you are fantasizing

Toks2008:


Many times we a scared of taking that step because of nothing but FEAR.

If you have a lady who will not mind starting with you in one room,and both of you are ready to do very low key wedding for now and do a bigger one when the money comes and ofcourse put child bearing on hold whilst both of you work hard,i believe you can go ahead and get married.

Mr. man, that can only happen abroad not in Nigeria. can you allow your own sister do that?

Toks2008:


That is another issue. A hustling guy is the best bet for women who truly want to settle down cos most made guys know they are made and will most likely treat you with no regard except the lady is also made.

Guy. Nigerian women are not logical oh. Hence the reason the say it is better to cry in a range rover sport than laugh in a keke.

Toks2008:
There are two types of worlds. The real world and the fantasy world.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in dreaming big,aiming for the "ideal" partner,elaborate wedding,a faithful man,virtuous woman,wealthy spouse,tall,handsome,romantic man,curvy and sweet looking lady and on and on and on...

But until we all learn to draw a line between our fantasy and the real world,until we meticulously make a decision to go for what we can get rather than what we dream about,then many of us who are mature and unmarried may remain in that position for a veeery long time.

My opinion.

I agree 100%

Toks2008:


Excatly the point,nothing bad in looking for a graduate but you just might be brushing off Ngozi the homely and virtuous girl from the village who could make you very happy all the days of your life.

why the name "Ngozi"...
avoid hate speech

I agree with you on this. Absolutely and I have addressed this on many threads. Africans, Nigerians most especially are found of having fantasies and living in delusion. Some do for a very long time before they wake to reality. The earlier people understand their person, take responsibility and understand you cant always have what you want but can always have what you need, the easier life gets!

Toks2008:


Many times we a scared of taking that step because of nothing but FEAR.

If you have a lady who will not mind starting with you in one room,and both of you are ready to do very low key wedding for now and do a bigger one when the money comes and ofcourse put child bearing on hold whilst both of you work hard,i believe you can go ahead and get married.

Then what's the point?!!!
might as well wait till you get something tangible before getting married & just stay friends till the Hard work pays off, since you both gonna work you ass off plus no kids too

Good one there Toks2008.

I believe when it comes to marriage, the curves, heights etc fade. Those features are very thrilling before marriage. When all is said and done, woman na woman.

Whether or not my wife is slim, curvy or not is immaterial... I love her, not because she is "my spec" but because of the office she occupies. Every wife is a queen, trust me, no matter your status, if you treat them the best way, they will not look out.

With respect to temptation outside, according to a poster, personally, I don't see the temptation outside! Your wife has everything.. The backside and front side are all accumulated fats and proteins, the "beautiful face" is just your idea and you cannot eat it.. Money that will be given to you by a sugar mummy? Why will you stoop so low to surrendering your today and tomorrow to a woman who cannot even be faithful to her own husband? For me, the issue of temptation doesn't even arise.

As for getting married, well, we have seen people who had much do a low key wedding.. Bottom line, just know that whether or not your wedding is elaborate or not, people will remember it for a very brief moment. Your duty is to make it memorable for your woman since that is your gift to her. Making it memorable doesn't mean it has to be too expensive. Cut your cloth according to your material.

Meanwhile, as for children, you can only do your best. Most times, you will always be in the middle. The son of Buhari may think he has the best, but let him wait till he sees the sons of the King of Saudi Arabia. If you cannot afford expensive schools, get them in a okay school and spend time with them. Eventually, they will make it to the highly coveted Federal Universities and be better than you.

My views though..

dingbang:
This one wey no lady comment for this thread...


Toks2008,wetin happen

lol! i also observed that and i wonder why..

Etfash:
Good one there Toks2008.

I believe when it comes to marriage, the curves, heights etc fade. Those features are very thrilling before marriage. When all is said and done, woman na woman.

Whether or not my wife is slim, curvy or not is immaterial... I love her, not because she is "my spec" but because of the office she occupies. Every wife is a queen, trust me, no matter your status, if you treat them the best way, they will not look out.

With respect to temptation outside, according to a poster, personally, I don't see the temptation outside! Your wife has everything.. The backside and front side are all accumulated fats and proteins, the "beautiful face" is just your idea and you cannot eat it.. Money that will be given to you by a sugar mummy? Why will you stoop so low to surrendering your today and tomorrow to a woman who cannot even be faithful to her own husband? For me, the issue of temptation doesn't even arise.

As for getting married, well, we have seen people who had much do a low key wedding.. Bottom line, just know that whether or not your wedding is elaborate or not, people will remember it for a very brief moment. Your duty is to make it memorable for your woman since that is your gift to her. Making it memorable doesn't mean it has to be too expensive. Cut your cloth according to your material.

Meanwhile, as for children, you can only do your best. Most times, you will always be in the middle. The son of Buhari may think he has the best, but let him wait till he sees the sons of the King of Saudi Arabia. If you cannot afford expensive schools, get them in a okay school and spend time with them. Eventually, they will make it to the highly coveted Federal Universities and be better than you.

My views though..

Quite impressive.

RETIREDMUMU:
op do u mean i should marry when i don't have the resources to be called a father and a husband.


do u know the meaning of hunger

Fortunately, I've never understood the meaning of that word because my case is different...

Jiang:


Then what's the point?!!!
might as well wait till you get something tangible before getting married & just stay friends till the Hard work pays off, since you both gonna work you ass off plus no kids too

That is where the problem lies...stay as friends then when the guy finally makes it,he may get someon e else to marry....dont start the "then they are not meant for each other talks"

Go to the Government parastatals,schools,small companies and you will find eligible bachelors but most ladies dont look at these areas because they have a dream of marrying the p.squares,mikel obis,Anthony joshuas of this world forgetting that these guys were once a nobody but time and chance brought hem to where they are.

Obama went to a restaurant with his wife and she introduced the owner of the restaurant as her ex then obama asked her..."If you had married your ex,what would have happened to your status?" and she replied "i will still be the first lady cos he would be the president?"

A woman has the power to drive her man to be the best he can ever be so our ladies should go for the available guys who are just starting their lives and build a life with them cos true wealth is progressive.

ok

komodapson:
why the name "Ngozi"...
avoid hate speech

You better work on your mind cos i guess its full of hatred and bitterness. when i wrote that i cold as well put Titi or Zainab but i wrote what came to my head without any form of bitterness. Please work on yourself.

tk4rd:
There are.. Just that, they may not be the type you are fantasizing

You nailed it.

You will see many ladies praying and complaining as if they are not seeing any suitor but you will be surprised that they have countless guys and i mean real good guys wanting their hands in marriage but as long as the man in their dreams have not surfaced,its a No for every other guy and they forget that the dream they have is a common dream for many other ladies so at the end,they start draging that prince charming with other ladies and probably end up heart broken.


And for us guys,we always want that trophy lady,that hot chic,that lady with that banging body and we try to impress her and spend really good on her just for her to still dump our ass cos she is for the highest bidder anyways meanwhile there is that unassuming lady who is willing to manage whatever you give her but we no go ever think go her side.

Toks2008:


You nailed it.

You will see many ladies praying and complaining as if they are not seeing any suitor but you will be surprised that they have countless guys and i mean real good guys wanting their hands in marriage but as long as the man in their dreams have not surfaced,its a No for every other guy and they forget that the dream they have is a common dream for many other ladies so at the end,they start draging that prince charming with other ladies and probably end up heart broken.


And for us guys,we always want that trophy lady,that hot chic,that lady with that banging body and we try to impress her and spend really good on her just for her to still dump our ass cos she is for the highest bidder anyways meanwhile there is that unassuming lady who is willing to manage whatever you give her but we no go ever think go her side.

You make sense die

You are right. But that should not be an excuse to style for less

adeblow:
OP, u are one of the reasons there are broken marriages today. You would come and advice people to get married and when its time to provide resources u disappear.
Please, everybody have their own plan drawn out and coupled together with Nigeria's economic realities, please let the sleeping dog lay.

But for fools,all words ought to be spoken in proverbs.Wherever you got that notion from is your cup of tea. Whatever i write is my business and the way you interpret it is your business.

RETIREDMUMU:
op do u mean i should marry when i don't have the resources to be called a father and a husband.


do u know the meaning of hunger

DO you also realize getting |married gives you focus and opens doors you never ever knew existed?
Getting married is not all about Money, dating is but marriage aint,If you can survive by yourself and she then both of you are good to go,
The world functions on Combined Energy!

If its good for you

RETIREDMUMU:
op do u mean i should marry when i don't have the resources to be called a father and a husband.


do u know the meaning of hunger

"Marry the single people from among you and the righteous slaves and slave-girls. If you are poor, Allah (SwT) will make you rich through His favour; and Allah (SwT) is Bountiful, All-Knowing." (Surah 24, Verse 32)

Not that you will become a billionaire oO, but atleast you will be able to take care of yourself and the family?

Toks2008:


Many times we a scared of taking that step because of nothing but FEAR.

If you have a lady who will not mind starting with you in one room,and both of you are ready to do very low key wedding for now and do a bigger one when the money comes and ofcourse put child bearing on hold whilst both of you work hard,i believe you can go ahead and get married.

Nawa o.

Are you talking about Nigerian ladies ?

is it too much to want to marry a virgin girl?

Toks2008:
There are two types of worlds. The real world and the fantasy world.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in dreaming big,aiming for the "ideal" partner,elaborate wedding,a faithful man,virtuous woman,wealthy spouse,tall,handsome,romantic man,curvy and sweet looking lady and on and on and on...

But until we all learn to draw a line between our fantasy and the real world,until we meticulously make a decision to go for what we can get rather than what we dream about,then many of us who are mature and unmarried may remain in that position for a veeery long time.

My opinion.

dis one tie george and kente....
so i shld get married and have dose poor little tin grow up d way i did?
odeshi....

Dwizeone:
I would rather say, settle for your class, if you are rich obviously you will settle for the rich if hustling settle for the lady in that class, honestly everyone fall into a category and the truth is there is true love in all classes.

Like they say SHOE GET SIZE

Toks2008:


That is another issue. A hustling guy is the best bet for women who truly want to settle down cos most made guys know they are made and will most likely treat you with no regard except the lady is also made.

Are you sure you're not a copy of me from another universe? You just hit the nail on the head. A made man who picks a wife after he's made only wants a trophy wife or someone who will be a advanced maid. A woman who will keep the house clean, cook food, take the D and reproduce his heir. Most men who married a woman that hustle with him their marriage benefits both parties. Look at the Obama's, Bill and Hillary Clinton I've even met some here in Nigeria. Ladies now wants to settle for being a trophy wife

Oh

RETIREDMUMU:
op do u mean i should marry when i don't have the resources to be called a father and a husband.


do u know the meaning of hunger

when are u going to make the money that extinguish hunger

It's not fear, it's choice. The society had succeeded in fooling young men in the past that they must get a wife in order to enjoy a happy family life, but now we know better.

You don't need a wife to have a family and you don't need a wife to have kids and raise them properly. Over 70% of married men cheat and about 50% of married women, especially housewives, have a fuckboy who they think have the vitality to satisfy them better than oga.

I still don't get the fascination of a man and a woman living together for a long time, probably forever, in the name of marriage when it's in our nature to explore our unlimited sexual variety.

Blonchilli:

Are you sure you're not a copy of me from another universe? You just hit the nail on the head. A made man who picks a wife after he's made only wants a trophy wife or someone who will be a advanced maid. A woman who will keep the house clean, cook food, take the D and reproduce his heir. Most men who married a woman that hustle with him their marriage benefits both parties. Look at the Obama's, Bill and Hillary Clinton I've even met some here in Nigeria. Ladies now wants to settle for being a trophy wife

Hmmm! insightful i must say.