nnamdibig:
You have to sit your mum down and convince her. She is just being careful considering the fact that she is older than you and approaching 40.
If you were ages younger than your fiancé, am sure your mum will not be acting like this.
She is only doing what an average Nigerian mother would do in the situation.

Aquariann:
What an elder sees sitting...... Op let no one blackmail you or say shít about your mom because she's right.

Women are generally more fertile in their twenties and have more healthy children at that ages.

As a hard working young man, who intends to get married and possibly have children, you shouldn't even be seen with a 39 years old woman who misused her most fertile years chasing God knows what. Riding the carousel probably and finally hitting the wall, she looking for a soft landing.

Op, go and look for a young lady (18-25) that you can pair bond with and can pair bond with your future children. This has nothing to do with your religion but common sense.

Lexusgs430:



The very important matter of her been able to conceive and have a safe delivery, is for the benefit of all parties involved.......

After marriage, you realise she is barren..... This same you, would open a thread complaining.....

After marriage, your wife also realises that your condensed milk is so weak, you cannot impregnate anything.... She would also be complaining......

Have you ever put your garden fork in her garden? Or tasted her mangoes?Lol, Are you the marriage counsellor or special adviser to the president on agriculture?

NB: Get her pregnant, head to a registry and mark your union....... After all is said and done, change your place of worship (its the same God)......

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

Fixed:
Does your mum know that men can have fertility problems too?

God forbid, but what if you co.pulate till thine kingdom come and no sign of pregnancy and the problem is medically traced to you? Ask your mum what the lady should do in such
scenario.

bloodmoneyspita:


this is the most foolish post I've ever read ever since I joined nairaland.

so adopting an almajiri's better than having your own kids, are you willing to die without leaving a legacy of any kind. where no one will remember you even came to the planet.

Fawklicant:


This is exactly the kind of woman you shouldn't marry. Already talking about alienating your family? Do not under any circumstances associate with this type of biatch.

Penalty82:
Tell your mum that so many women have lost their first pregnacy through miscarriage and remained barren till date.

raumdeuter:
What is your moms business with your fiancee getting pregnant?

Tell your mom you don't believe in pre-marital sex or does she want you to go into sin? Ask her if she is ready to say what she said in front of the church priest

Also if she has a daughter and her suitor gave her the pregnancy before marriage offer what will you mom advise as a mother

Why are you calling lalasticlala?

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

Aquariann:


Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

Uyi168:
If i ever decide to get married,my wife to be must be pregnant first before doing the needful...e get y

IDERAWOLE:


Brother, pls get born again first, your fiancee's agreement to marry you in the first instance shows her salvation is in doubt.

Your people cannot understand what RCCG doctrine on marriage before pregnancy, if you truly love that ask her why did she agree to marry you when she knew you're not born again. She seems desperate to hook somebody because of her age, if not she won't be disobeying the word of God.

If you truly love the lady, get born again first, meet the church pastor or rep on marriage matters, God will sort out your parents fear. They love you more than that lady.

Zirah:


Guy, I have to tell you that you don't have a mother who loves you. She's mean and selfish. Calling off intro on the d-day. That's wicked and heartless. I hope your fiancee will see this as a red flag and stay off you cos even if you end up marrying her, your mum will still make life a living hell for her cos it's who she is.

Btw, I want to ask? Are you sure you're man enough for marriage? I don't understand why your mother dictates for you at your old age

My advice for you is to cut her off. Send money home only through bank transfer but cut off those who are against you for anyone who isn't with you is against you and should be cut off.

Lexusgs430:



The very important matter of her been able to conceive and have a safe delivery, is for the benefit of all parties involved.......

After marriage, you realise she is barren..... This same you, would open a thread complaining.....

After marriage, your wife also realises that your condensed milk is so weak, you cannot impregnate anything.... She would also be complaining......

Have you ever put your garden fork in her garden? Or tasted her mangoes?

NB: Get her pregnant, head to a registry and mark your union....... After all is said and done, change your place of worship (its the same God)......

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

Rosarie:
in all of this i blame you.first when u know ur kind of home u should not ve have allowed them know her true age.why did ur mom wait till her intro day befre calling a meeting.as a man why did you not stand your ground.to the extent of ur mom calling ur fiancee.u dnt know d fire u are allowing to ignite.due to desperation ur girl will dance to ur mom's tune.but d minute she will marry she will give ur mom a long rope becos of what ur mom is doing to her now.she will treat ur family like a plague.and u will not know when u will unconsiously dance to her tune.then any decision u make to side ur family she will say u re not man enough.man up and drop sentiments or mommy's boy.and stand by ur wife.God is d giver of kids.nor b people they marry cripple.except u dnt belive in ur union.ur mom should not dictate for u

Aquariann:


Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

Aquariann:


Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

Dedeoma:

some people though..
It's because u r not sure of ur capability of impregnating a woman. Go do medical tests instead

JONNYSPUTE:
Oga forget all this talk u re hearing here,Ur mum knows what she is saying,although she is not God. Don't tell me u ve not slept with a woman before,cause I know u re not a virgin. What your mum is saying is right,proof her wrong if you re a man. Most of u guys that claim born again are too hypocritical, u ve bn fucking her her and now your mum wants result,u just remembered ur church. Ur mum doesn't even trust u. So prove her right by impregnating her. Swear you ve not had sex with the so called fiancee before. Stop deceiving yourself.

JONNYSPUTE:
Oga forget all this talk u re hearing here,Ur mum knows what she is saying,although she is not God. Don't tell me u ve not slept with a woman before,cause I know u re not a virgin. What your mum is saying is right,proof her wrong if you re a man. Most of u guys that claim born again are too hypocritical, u ve bn fucking her her and now your mum wants result,u just remembered ur church. Ur mum doesn't even trust u. So prove her right by impregnating her. Swear you ve not had sex with the so called fiancee before. Stop deceiving yourself.