Exponental:
Mother! She has fear, fear of the untold story, due to her age!! I think you should talk to your bride....you guys should compromise your different stands, then agree!!!

well said

Ari3040:
You and your girlfriend should pray to GOD, to turn around the situation of your mother.

His mother got no problem bro. Na them get problem here o

Lexusgs430:



The very important matter of her been able to conceive and have a safe delivery, is for the benefit of all parties involved.......

After marriage, you realise she is barren..... This same you, would open a thread complaining.....

After marriage, your wife also realises that your condensed milk is so weak, you cannot impregnate anything.... She would also be complaining......

Have you ever put your garden fork in her garden? Or tasted her mangoes?

NB: Get her pregnant, head to a registry and mark your union....... After all is said and done, change your place of worship (its the same God)......

bro...bro...ur comments Microsofted me mehnnnnnnnnnnnn....U couldn't have said it better...People are just talking as usual advising the guy meanwhile 85% of them can't even oppose their mums,sisters.. Most of them never in their lives took or made a unilateral decision on their own..


Most of them will never even a marry a woman a day older because of what mummy will say...Africans sha...Hypocrisy every corner..


I hope he listens to you though..Because i have nothing more than what u said to contribute.

Average for female menopause is 40years now....think well bro

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

That ur mom get sense. She's trying to avoid stories that touch. The older a lady gets, d harder, her chances of conceiving. Make una no come call d poor lady witch, when she begin dey request grandkids.

Elope

nnamdibig:
You have to sit your mum down and convince her. She is just being careful considering the fact that she is older than you and approaching 40.
If you were ages younger than your fiancé, am sure your mum will not be acting like this.
She is only doing what an average Nigerian mother would do in the situation.

age is just a number, that can't stop what God will do, we've seen a woman of 60 that give birth and we've seen ladies who marry as early as 22 who is yet to give birth @ late 50s. 'Man propose God dispose' the mother should just spill out her mind...

mkoabiola:
That a gud mother jooo

Btw 39 years choi.I wish u d best ooo

E no eazy to find love at dat age oo

am sorry but the mother is bad example.

bedspread:
Listen bro,
You and your Fiancée should CUT-OFF anything or anyone that wants you guys to go against your Faith....

THERE is no Father, Mother or Granny in Eternity.....
stick to your Godliness.... it's GOD Dt gives Children....

Well said, but don't forget your parent are your god on earth. Even if he seek Godly advise they will tell him to convince the mother and not to go against them. Remember the book of exodus says''honour your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land which your God has given unto you''

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

Thank you for enlightening ladies with this, God bless you for this advice that many parents don't give.
Directly and Indirectly, you have saved many from future disaster......
To your story, the family thinks they are smart right? karma chills for a future date with them

Aquariann:
What an elder sees sitting...... Op let no one blackmail you or say shít about your mom because she's right.

Women are generally more fertile in their twenties and have more healthy children at that ages.

As a hard working young man, who intends to get married and possibly have children, you shouldn't even be seen with a 39 years old woman who misused her most fertile years chasing God knows what. Riding the carousel probably and finally hitting the wall, she looking for a soft landing.

Op, go and look for a young lady (18-25) that you can pair bond with and can pair bond with your future children. This has nothing to do with your religion but common sense.

I can't believe this reasoning..... You must be very young and below the age of 25 with such reasoning.
When you get of age, please log in, and read what you typed all over again, by then, you will understand why I can't believe this reasoning.

Lexusgs430:



The very important matter of her been able to conceive and have a safe delivery, is for the benefit of all parties involved.......

After marriage, you realise she is barren..... This same you, would open a thread complaining.....

After marriage, your wife also realises that your condensed milk is so weak, you cannot impregnate anything.... She would also be complaining......

Have you ever put your garden fork in her garden? Or tasted her mangoes?

NB: Get her pregnant, head to a registry and mark your union....... After all is said and done, change your place of worship (its the same God)......

Mr man! That is not what is expected of you as a real believer of the WORD.

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

At 39 are you saying she is still virgin, if no obey your mum in all ramification except when she told you to associate partner with God.

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

That guy is evil

Temysteve:
Mr man! That is not what is expected of you as a real believer of the WORD.

Which 'WORD'? MICROSOFT WORD?

Livefreeordieha:
bro...bro...ur comments Microsofted me mehnnnnnnnnnnnn....U couldn't have said it better...People are just talking as usual advising the guy meanwhile 85% of them can't even oppose their mums,sisters.. Most of them never in their lives took or made a unilateral decision on their own..


Most of them will never even a marry a woman a day older because of what mummy will say...Africans sha...Hypocrisy every corner..


I hope he listens to you though..Because i have nothing more than what u said to contribute.

In life, it is imperative we make some decisions ourselves (regardless of 3rd party influence).....

It is our lives and our responsibilities......

We know couples who originally intended to have kids, it never happened and the world did not stop.........

Aquariann:
What an elder sees sitting...... Op let no one blackmail you or say shít about your mom because she's right.

Women are generally more fertile in their twenties and have more healthy children at that ages.

As a hard working young man, who intends to get married and possibly have children, you shouldn't even be seen with a 39 years old woman who misused her most fertile years chasing God knows what. Riding the carousel probably and finally hitting the wall, she looking for a soft landing.

Op, go and look for a young lady (18-25) that you can pair bond with and can pair bond with your future children. This has nothing to do with your religion but common sense.

So myopic!!! I don't hate your post as much as I dislike the people liking it. Are you trying to say the Op didn't see younger girls before deciding it's her he wants to spend forever with? Obviously, he saw something in her and you people should stop playing God. Are you trying to say there are not people that marry in their 20s and still don't get to have children till their 40s? Even, people marry as virgins and still have fertility problems. My point exactly is We are not God, so let's not try to play his role.

U can't blame d mum, menopause is fast approaching or may have even started

Aquariann:


Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

How are you sure that she turned down so many men in her 20's?

Convince your people to go on with the introduction. Then register for marriage course and take your mum to meet with the priest and counselors. They will caution her.

luwabrooklyn:
if ur pikin bring 39 years old woman to u to marry u go accept am? wetin she dy do for d whole 39 years wey she never marry no offense op oh but this is africa

Pls dont mention me again with ur myopic view....i dont think like an african cos their thinking is always bacward like ur comment. Msheeww

Heebah:
Pls dont mention me again with ur myopic view....i dont think like an african cos their thinking is always bacward like ur comment. Msheeww

we haf hia

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

Brother, pls get born again first, your fiancee's agreement to marry you in the first instance shows her salvation is in doubt.

Your people cannot understand what RCCG doctrine on marriage before pregnancy, if you truly love that ask her why did she agree to marry you when she knew you're not born again. She seems desperate to hook somebody because of her age, if not she won't be disobeying the word of God.

If you truly love the lady, get born again first, meet the church pastor or rep on marriage matters, God will sort out your parents fear. They love you more than that lady.

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

My brother, I'll tell it to you straight! You may not like what you'll hear but my duty is not to make you feel good.
Most of these girls who claim born again at old age are retired ashys. After fvcking away their youth, they start forming borney when the biological clock has reached an advanced stage and come up with all those bed undefiled bollocks. Your mom may have observed something and is trying to protect you. If you want a true born again lady, chances are that you'll find them younger, from teens to mid twenties. Or probably married. You see those ones wey don old finish, they are either looking for husband or child or both.
Don't let any girl package you with that whole born again shiiit let alone a cougar! Anyone going to church to look for wife is on a long thing. You'll see all those cougars forming love for the Lord. They are the ones that are most active in church activities, they hardly miss any. The much younger ones however, are not as punctual, maybe because their whole life is still spread out ahead for them to enjoy and straffe until their own clock advances, then they'll be the new cougars.

Oga, give yourself brain! Your mom is just telling you politely and indirectly to forget the girl. Cougars on Nairaland would not support your mom, but don't think they have your best interest at heart. They all just want to get married regardless of what they'll make you suffer in future, that's the typical Nigerian girl's mindset.

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..


Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

Guy, I have to tell you that you don't have a mother who loves you. She's mean and selfish. Calling off intro on the d-day. That's wicked and heartless. I hope your fiancee will see this as a red flag and stay off you cos even if you end up marrying her, your mum will still make life a living hell for her cos it's who she is.

Btw, I want to ask? Are you sure you're man enough for marriage? I don't understand why your mother dictates for you at your old age

My advice for you is to cut her off. Send money home only through bank transfer but cut off those who are against you for anyone who isn't with you is against you and should be cut off.

Temysteve:
age is just a number, that can't stop what God will do, we've seen a woman of 60 that give birth and we've seen ladies who marry as early as 22 who is yet to give birth @ late 50s. 'Man propose God dispose' the mother should just spill out her mind...

Good but what will you do if you are in his shoes?
Have you dated and older girl before??

The mum is simply looking out for her son.

XTLikeNat777:
Please don't be offended - your mum must be an end time mum for requesting such.

As in...she must be an uneducated old witch.

Daeylar:


Abeg don't make me laugh,



Too much interferance in the life of a grown man, the mother better respect herself.

And he should be strong, he needs to put his foot down and tell them this is the woman he wants to marry, see the way they are discussing if she will get pregnant or not as if she is a robot they control and can just tell to do anything at any point in time, no care about what she wants at all, they think cos she is 39 and wants to be married, they can tell her "jump" and she would answer "how high"

he is 36 about to get married, even wants to have a child, but he can't put his foot down and be firm? Is that how he wants to marry?

All these people who always try to control someones life under the disguise of " I care about you" forever disgust me

A relation of mine almost married a girl without womb a couple of years back. He only found out when she started having some health challenges and was taken to the hospital. She carefully concealed it from him with born again shiiit
A friend of mine also dogged a bullet under very similar circumstances, everyone else felt uneasy about their relationship except the guy. He was too blind to see because he desperately wanted to get married.
Another friend of mine almost married an olosho on sabbatical. A hoe that had been used like kilode! Extremely high mileage, she's fvcked everyone! No scruples, married, single, young, old, Yahoo boys,armed robbers,just name it, so long as you could take care of her bills and she was packaging the guy. Not like she repented though, she just laid low for him hoping to resume activities after their marriage. There's proof of this assertion.

One thing the old hags had in common was the pretense to be born again. All in their thirties.

Girls are always quick to slam a man as being wimpish if his family advices him against a partner but NEVER think otherwise when the advice is coming from their own family against a guy they want to marry. When their own family advices them against a guy, they have her best interest at heart. But when a guys family advices him against a girl, he is not man enough. I hear una!

Gamesmart:


Please explain how your story links with your advice.

Exactly.

Zirah:


Guy, I have to tell you that you don't have a mother who loves you. She's mean and selfish. Calling off intro on the d-day. That's wicked and heartless. I hope your fiancee will see this as a red flag and stay off you cos even if you end up marrying her, your mum will still make life a living hell for her cos it's who she is.

Btw, I want to ask? Are you sure you're man enough for marriage? I don't understand why your mother dictates for you at your old age

My advice for you is to cut her off. Send money home only through bank transfer but cut off those who are against you for anyone who isn't with you is against you and should be cut off.

This is exactly the kind of woman you shouldn't marry. Already talking about alienating your family? Do not under any circumstances associate with this type of biatch.