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Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Opoki(m): 12:01am On Jan 11, 2018
A friends mother who has 5 boys once said all his children must first impregnate any lady they wanted to get married to.


Why?


She said if there is any moment of delay after their marriage, she will be the first person to be accused!

I see sense in her words.
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by laudate: 12:02am On Jan 11, 2018
mosefin19:
I pity you what if she can't bear a child anymore look at it she's 39 they might have their reason for saying that.... you're just saying she's born again did you really know her past did you know how many she's has abort...found out very well b4 you conclude...my opinion
Are you God??!! shocked

4 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by ashawopikin(m): 12:20am On Jan 11, 2018
Your mom's right, get her pregnant already, do d needful
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by redsun(m): 12:25am On Jan 11, 2018
Your mum! Are you going to live your life for your mum. I can understand why you go to church, because you are a baby.
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by salmonkas178(m): 12:25am On Jan 11, 2018
valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

OP please take your mom advice ....I swear she want the best for you....I believe her plight......I have a close relative ,married for two years going to three now ,wife haven't conceived yet....there's nothing wrong in she getting pregnant and you fix a date for your introduction immediately.....wud want you to have a rethink and Follow mom's advice...if u can contact me ...I wud share more revealing story about my relative marriage...for me, my fiancee must get pregnant before we fix a day for our introduction base on past experience..

1 Like

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by salmonkas178(m): 12:29am On Jan 11, 2018
Most advice on here are from sit at home babies who know little or nothing ...better follow your mom advice......

1 Like

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by laudate: 12:31am On Jan 11, 2018
salmonkas178:
OP please take your mom advice ....I swear she want the best for you....I believe her plight......I have a close relative ,married for two years going to three now ,wife haven't conceived yet....there's nothing wrong in she getting pregnant and you fix a date for your introduction immediately.....wud want you to have a rethink and Follow mom's advice...if u can contact me ...I wud share more revealing story about my relative marriage... for me, my fiancee must get pregnant before we fix a day for our introduction base on past experience..
And if she suffers a miscarriage and cannot get pregnant afterwards? Will you divorce her?

3 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by redsun(m): 12:33am On Jan 11, 2018
You don't just marry a woman because you just want to have a baby. You marry her for so many other reasons and if a baby does not come along,it shouldn't stop you from loving her. And if you must a baby, after you are have ascertain that you are not the infertility culprit,adopt those hapless almajirins that are crying out for love and care.

8 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by iamrealdeji(m): 12:36am On Jan 11, 2018
imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.
so,people can be this wicked? haaaaa!!!. the foolish guy and his mom would be making stupid excuses,looking for the lady's flaws as reasons he shouldn't marry her

1 Like

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by iamrealdeji(m): 12:45am On Jan 11, 2018
Opoki:
A friends mother who has 5 boys once said all his children must first impregnate any lady they wanted to get married to.


Why?


She said if there is any moment of delay after their marriage, she will be the first person to be accused!

I see sense in her words.
that's when their pastor would tell them a woman close to husband is behind it.

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by bloodmoneyspita: 12:47am On Jan 11, 2018
redsun:
You don't just marry a woman because you just want to have a baby. You marry her for so many other reasons and if a baby does not come along,it shouldn't stop you from loving her. And if you must a baby, after you are have ascertain that you are not the infertility culprit,adopt those hapless almajirins that are crying out for love and care.

this is the most foolish post I've ever read ever since I joined nairaland.

so adopting an almajiri's better than having your own kids, are you willing to die without leaving a legacy of any kind. where no one will remember you even came to the planet.

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by iamrealdeji(m): 12:50am On Jan 11, 2018
op,you're a child and a sissy. You better go and impregnate that lady rather than wasting your time here. Your mum is absolutely right. you're even lucky she didn't say she has to born 2 or 3 pikin before you can marry her. forget about all that born again shit,church girls self dey bad. you should know how to talk her into sleeping with her and if she no gree,then call it off and go for a young girl in her early 20's. I wonder why you're going for oversized product sef,you no dey fear? sugar mummy. go for your size abegi.

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by ojlifa: 12:51am On Jan 11, 2018
forget church doctoring listen to your mother to avoid future heart ache .take it from some one with experience,i am 7 years and still waiting ,it is the same church line they played me



valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by iamrealdeji(m): 12:52am On Jan 11, 2018
bloodmoneyspita:


this is the most foolish post I've ever read ever since I joined nairaland.

so adopting an almajiri's better than having your own kids, are you willing to die without leaving a legacy of any kind. where no one will remember you even came to the planet.
that's African mentality because Africans are not ready to contribute anything to the world. Everybody remembers Isaac Newton more than all your ancestors and he doesn't have a child. let your work speak for you and not your child. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a child o

13 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by iamrealdeji(m): 12:57am On Jan 11, 2018
fabrestove:
Your Mama sabi smell menopause from a mile o
mama sef don't go through am,she don been there done that na
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by redsun(m): 1:02am On Jan 11, 2018
bloodmoneyspita:


this is the most foolish post I've ever read ever since I joined nairaland.

so adopting an almajiri's better than having your own kids, are you willing to die without leaving a legacy of any kind. where no one will remember you even came to the planet.

You mudersfuckers have babies when you are nappies heads yourselves. Must you have own baby? If ou can't have your biological ones and you are so bent on caring for children, you adopt. There so many in Nigeria that desperately needs the care of rational and capable adults.

Having children shouldn't the main criteria for marriage and you don't need your mum or the pastor to plan your family for you,doing so makes you a suckling and suckling don't need babies.

5 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by sweetcocoa(f): 1:08am On Jan 11, 2018
Story.

Born again ko
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Nobody: 1:08am On Jan 11, 2018
grandstar:


What your mum wants you to do is ungodly and unscriptural. This is simply a worldly advise.

Your mums fear is that your lady is a bit old and might problems in getting pregnant. Her most fertile years are past her.

The Apostles said, "We must obey God rather than men'

Don't do the detestable thing your mum wants.

I wish you happy married life in advance.

whatever you mean by scriptural. my question to you is that is she a virgin. or not being a virgin before marriage is scriptural.
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Nobody: 1:11am On Jan 11, 2018
redsun:
You don't just marry a woman because you just want to have a baby. You marry her for so many other reasons and if a baby does not come along,it shouldn't stop you from loving her. And if you must a baby, after you are have ascertain that you are not the infertility culprit,adopt those hapless almajirins that are crying out for love and care.


mumu na America you think you dey.

avec no adopt Almanjiri come SW we don't want aggressive blood.
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Gerrard59(m): 1:13am On Jan 11, 2018
imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

Mkpo isah ba oh! shocked (Things are happening)
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by flourishingBloom(f): 1:14am On Jan 11, 2018
It's a pity that sometimes, human beings unconsciously attempt to play "God" over the life of another person. You don't just conclude on a person based on the perspectives of "Man".

1 Like

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Pat081: 1:23am On Jan 11, 2018
I think someone else hv post some thing like dis here too but d guy did nt put age of d gal dia maybe dis is d part 2 same thing,but cum to think of it is ur mum d boss in d house telling ur father and d rest people wot to do because u did nt tell us maybe ur father agree to wot ur mum says or nt ?talk to ur brothers n ur father like man let dem knw wot love is all about
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by salmonkas178(m): 1:26am On Jan 11, 2018
ojlifa:
forget church doctoring listen to your mother to avoid future heart ache .take it from some one with experience,i am 7 years and still waiting ,it is the same church line they played me

You don't mean these right? Don't tell me it true

1 Like

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Tozara(m): 1:26am On Jan 11, 2018
At 36, your mom, siblings and other family members, sit together to make conclusions and decisions about YOUR LIFE, like witches holding a meeting in the dark of the night, and you're busy seeking for "advice", because you're so "confused", owing to the fact that making any important decision in YOUR LIFE, whose consequences YOU SHALL ALWAYS BEAR ALONE, is now a matter of democracy, where everyone in the family cast stones at you in form of votes.

Why should your mum's decision count in this matter? Okei, you want to get married---you love your Fianceé, and she loves you too---what does it matter if she doesn't like your plans? Why must you do it her way? Is it her marriage?

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by redsun(m): 1:28am On Jan 11, 2018
WinningSun:



mumu na America you think you dey.

avec no adopt Almanjiri come SW we don't want aggressive blood.

Ode,Americans get two heads abi? You think you are born never to do the right thing,just because you are a darkie with twisted soul.

4 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Gerrard59(m): 1:29am On Jan 11, 2018
Ladyhippolyta88:
Women in their late 40's are capable of having multiple births.

What is the probability vis-a-vis women in their twenties and thirties? The probability of a 29 year old lady procreating is higher than that of a 49 year old. Moreover, the chance of procreating a child with genetic abnormality is high for a 49 year old woman. What is the point procreating a child at 49 year old and s/he has Down Syndrome (in Nigeria where services for children with special needs are scarce and costly)?

I can understand OP'S mom, she's a Nigerian mom. What is needed is proper medical check-up and history telling to the doc. I'll also implore OP to save for IVF, should it take sometime. But honestly, the odds are against you and your partner. This is Nigeria where medical services to procreate at an advanced age is expensive and tedious - psychologically and physically.



Meanwhile @Aquariann: Let her go and marry the spirit then grin grin grin

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Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by laudate: 1:59am On Jan 11, 2018
Gerrard59:
What is the probability vis-a-vis women in their twenties and thirties? The probability of a 29 year old lady procreating is higher than that of a 49 year old. Moreover, the chance of procreating a child with genetic abnormality is high for a 49 year old woman. What is the point procreating a child at 49 year old and s/he has Down Syndrome (in Nigeria where services for children with special needs are scarce and costly)?

I can understand OP'S mom, she's a Nigerian mom. What is needed is proper medical check-up and history telling to the doc. I'll also implore OP to save for IVF, should it take sometime. But honestly, the odds are against you and your partner. This is Nigeria where medical services to procreate at an advanced age is expensive and tedious - psychologically and physically.



Meanwhile @Aquariann: Let her go and marry the spirit then grin grin grin

Probability of wetin? shocked Are you talking about all these 20-something year old digital babes, slay mamas and instagram addicts that are more exposed than our grandmothers were, during their own time? You will faint in shock if you know what these young girls are currently doing with their bodies. Fertility cannot be solely tied to age - all those permutations of youth equals fertility, is NOT cast in stone. I have a neighbour who got married at the age of 35, and gave birth within a year of her marriage, while another female friend of mine got married at 27 years old, but has still not been able to give birth more than 8 years after her marriage!

3 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by melaninbae: 2:02am On Jan 11, 2018
04donjazzy:



ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE A 36YEAR OLD HARD WORKING MAN?
ARE YOU LIVING IN YOUR MOTHERS HOUSE.
IS UR MOTHER STILL GIVING YOU POCKET MONEY.
DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT PARENTS CAN BE HIRED

PRAY ALMIGHTY GOD THAT THIS UR FIANCEE WILL STILL WANNA MARRY YOU AFTER YOUR OBVIOUS SHOW OF IMMATURITY....
IMAGINE THE RUBBISH KINDA STORY A SUPPOSEDLY 36YEAR OLD MAN IS TELLING NAIJA PIPU.................ABEG GO SMOKE SOME AFIKPO KUSH & FIND YOUR SOLUTION IN THE HAZY LIMBO OF HIGHNESS

The matter tire me...true. This is the kind of man whose mother can throw the wife out of the house while he watches helplessly.

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Binutiri(m): 2:17am On Jan 11, 2018
Abiamo tooto....hmmmm 4am meeting...Means She never sleep that night.....
Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Stancol59: 2:17am On Jan 11, 2018
Believe me, ur mum dosnt want you to get married to that wonam bcause of her age and her denomination.
Bring a woman who is about 30 yrs n a catholic to her n you will see her reaction.
Mums and their wahala at times ehh wen it comes to marriage is somtin else

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Baffupdrizz(m): 2:19am On Jan 11, 2018
It seems all those years studying to Masters level have reduced the volume of common Sense left for your use.
Get your shît together mahn! YOUR MUM IS RIGHT!

Ever heard of the "Menopause"? Women above 35 find it incredibly hard to reproduce. If you allow momentary emotions to render you barren, then you Sir are a big disappointment to humanity.

2 Likes

Re: Wife Introduction: My Mum Insists On Pregnancy First by Daisy17: 2:23am On Jan 11, 2018
ojlifa:
forget church doctoring listen to your mother to avoid future heart ache .take it from some one with experience,i am 7 years and still waiting ,it is the same church line they played me




Have you checked yourself, you may be the one with fertility problems?

2 Likes

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