linearity:

If you alleged that, ‘..she never loved him at the first place...’, wouldn’t that be said of the husband as well?

northvietnam:


no cuz he would have opted for Abortion... or just walked away and body will beat him.

but he stayed and took up the responsibility of being a father and even went as far as 3rd baby...

the family and the girl is just so pained cuz she let her father who might be a Deacon( in one of those church )down by not having the So called white wedding..( church demanded for court wedding cert b4 they could be wedded)...

As far as he paid her dowry, they should not force him into court wedding

The lady also stayed and took up the responsibility of being a mother and even went as far as 3rd baby......my point is, it cut both ways.

linearity:


The lady clearly stated that, she did not forgive him and that, she only agreed to go along with the marriage because she was expecting and does not want to give birth to the kid out of wedlock.

For those saying, why did she then continue to birth kids with this guy, if she has not forgiven him and have fallen out out of love with him. For many people these issues are separate...about 50% of marriages end up in divorce and more than half of the remaining 50% are still in their husband’s home not because love is flourishing...they come to realize that love is not everything and that, there are many other life’s pursuits that are more than love; so they have settled and carried their cross that, they have missed the boating of marrying for love.

Good. Good.

Adefemiaderoju1:
One question I wanted to asked you now is did you want to marry another man since you need certificate to show if you truly legally married to your hubby or after 3 children what is the big deal marrying your hubby legally so you all can travel abroad to fulfill your dream

Lol... was it a big deal when she asked the man to marry her legally nine years ago?
That man has ulterior motives.

northvietnam:


no cuz he would have opted for Abortion... or just walked away and body will beat him.

but he stayed and took up the responsibility of being a father and even went as far as 3rd baby...

the family and the girl is just so pained cuz she let her father who might be a Deacon( in one of those church )down by not having the So called white wedding..( church demanded for court wedding cert b4 they could be wedded)...

As far as he paid her dowry, they should not force him into court wedding

Love is blind, but marriage is an eyeopener.
Most marriages still standing strong today is not because of love o. That kind of soul mate love is rare.
Nobody forced him into a court wedding then, so why does he want to force her to one now?
If he was her soul mate, he would have done a court wedding with her as it was that important to her then. (Its not important to everyone). Your soul mate would go the extra mile for you even without you talking.
Its obvious they were both not soul mates, nor crazily in love with each other.
He should just apologize to her for hurting her feelings all these years, if the court wedding is that important to him now.

Shhhh01:
I don't under stand. home broken how? because she was pregnant the man refused her a court wedding. so cos things done turn around u dey talk broken home. the home has been broken since when he decided not to do d court wedding and not respect the lady's family.

wait sis, is white wedding and court wedding our culture and tradition?we are Africans for christ sake.the man did the most important tin of paying her bride price by removing shame from her face and that of her egostic father.assuming the man abandoned her with the pregnancy?wud she hv hugged transformer?he made her his wife and she is still holding grudges against him,let me tell u the truth if she sees poison she will kill that man becus she is deadly.

northvietnam:


I think a man that fathered 3 kids with a lady, spent 9years with her in same Roof should be forgiving...

women r just teaching we single men Good lessons...
9fvcking years, 9years... that women is Devilish

One would also think that after a woman had a child for him he would be moved to make her happy and wed her like she always wanted. But no, he got her pregnant again, and then again . . . And still refused to make her a legal wife. Untill he saw a financial reason to!

If he ever cared about her, he would have respected her and her family and wedded her when he should have.

He's a wicked and selfish being, and doesn't deserve any forgiveness!

donnaD:

wait sis, is white wedding and court wedding our culture and tradition?we are Africans for christ sake.the man did the most important tin by removing shame from her face and that of her egostic father.assuming the man abandoned her with the pregnancy?wud she hv hugged transformer?he made her his wife and she is still holding grudges against him,let me tell u the truth if she sees poison she will kill that man becus she is deadly.

Seriously? I don't get this post . . And made by a woman too?

SMH!

UjuJoan2:


One would also think that after a woman had a child for him he would be moved to make her happy and wed her...

u just sounding like a girl i know(Love)...

said she must wed in catholic church... when i am penticostal...


Replying... U

what if financial constraint set in after the having the baby...

Had it been that both of u have no children, it could have been a good decision too, on like me I never accept court marriage for any reason, but since it happen this way and ur husband have decide to change mind no option than u to follow his decision he still ur husband but if u say no, then he can still change mind and restrict u traveling with his children, except he is lazy type.

fykes:
I have only one question here,
HOW DO U LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR 9YEARS WIYHOUT FORGIVING HIM?? #FEARWOMEN#

How do you live a woman for 9 years and ignore her pleas and cries and deny her the one thing she greatly wanted?

How do you keep getting a woman pregnant knowing that you've refused to do the one thing she begged of you?

How do you look your wife's family in the eye after the birth of a new baby and not be filled with shame knwoing you've not done what is right?

Honestly the man never showed remorse or even asked for forgiveness. If he did he would have made things right and wedded her. If the wedding wasn't so important why us he pushing for it now?

I just don't get the way people reason.

northvietnam:


u just sounding like a girl i know(Love)...

said she must wed in catholic church... when i am penticostal...


Replying... U

what if financial constraint set in after the having the baby...

Actually he never mentioned financial constraints as a reason. He just said no for no reason at all

Besides a court marriage costs virtually nothing.

she shud just go to hell,like wise the man was not her God,so is she not also the man's God.for God's sake he paid her bride price,he cud hv denied her and hell will not be let loosed but nope he stood by her then,just that he rufused to do the bidding of her and her parents.do we even know his financial situation as of then?was he bouyant enough for all those xpenses?we are quick to conclude,judge and heap blames.he knows very well the family he was marrying from.the man can automatically ask her to go to hell and travel but she will not travel with his kids let's see who will loose.

The woman's husband is ridiculous, His family is something else.

Nice that she is paying him back in his own coin. Let him see how it hurts.

She was smart about her life and her father helped her a lot.

This woman sha I'm amazed.

Enduring all the pain and anger for years and she is till ready to endure it forever

Not only from her boyfriend now husband. But from his family also.

After he hurt her by refusing to legalize the union. But She swallowed it, married to him, as he wanted, sleep with him and bear 2 more children

How did she cope with all that anger. Bitterness and hurt in her? She must have really been unhappy

I'm glad that she had a father who loved and supported her all through.

Wish she didn't have this mindset of my kids must be born in wedlock and seems she wanted them all to have the same father, which made her endure anger hurt and bitterness for this long especially when she didn't have to, she could have left when he showed her that he didn't care about her needs, but it's her life and it is how she wanted to live it.

I love this woman die. Let his azz remain here. What dies he want to travel for? When your father was appealing to him, aheybi he was feeling like a small god. Nansense

[quote author=UjuJoan2 post=67162421]

Seriously? I don't get this post . . And made by a woman too?

SMH![/quote
it's the bitter truth let's stop forming and tell ourselves the candid truth.Am sorry am not a feminist,i can't form to be a white am an African lady all round.

Ezemarcel:
but within the period of nine years he has bn treating u guys well....my dear forget about the ignorance of the man...and move witg him to texas

Move fire. Say no to court marriage abeg. When they were begging him he was feeling like a G

northvietnam:
Court wedding or not..

woman at the end of the day, ur husband still wins... cuz he's the father of ur 3 kids....

and this shyte happened way bk..
why nt let go and move on.

if the man has been good and caring husband then why not take him along with his kids...
but if the dude has been an A$$hole then SCREW HIM...

if she leaves with out the man then she never loved him at the first place, she jushegot married cuz of the pregnancy...

He wins how? Stop giving him hope abeg. He is a very big loser. Hahahahha. My sis go and flex your life in US abeg. Leave the loser in naija

fnep2smooth:
It doesn't make sense..... Go to Texas Na after 10 to 15 years you go tired and your children go still find their dad even if he don die.
No matter what you go still come back naija.

If I be that man I go just remarry... Life continue.

Shuuuu..... Remarry na. Who is holding your preek? She will land herself a better man over there. Las las na she win

stuffs4me:
It is rather unfortunate that the woman is feeling like a god just because she's wealthier than her husband.


The woman has a very ugly and evil unforgiving heart. After 9 years and three kids, she still has the mind to keep a grudge in her heart.

Even if she refused to help the man, it doesn't mean God cannot answer the prayers of the man the way he answered her own. Nobody knows tomorrow.

Shwybi when everybody even her own father was begging the man, he was feeling like a god ba? Its her own turn to be a goddess. You men always want to get away with nonsense. Issalie o. What a man sows, he will reap

Reelmii:
u see dat u are not also a good person, now u ar saying the woman is a wicked woman but u have a darker heart, but sorry to shock u, they would even be happy they have a mum abroad and I know the woman would be visiting and sending things to them, na the man go die of bad belle

She will remarry in the US and have other children

AFONJACOW:
rubbish... and what of if I say you are not going to your America with my kid

Ahn! No wahala na. Stay in naija and raise our children. I can be sending upkeep money to you.

fykes:
I have only one question here,
HOW DO U LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR 9YEARS WIYHOUT FORGIVING HIM?? #FEARWOMEN#

That's how you men will dole out nonsense day in day out to your wives. And when you're old and sock and fragile, you'll want forgiveness. Fa fa fa.....foul!!! We are not robots. What you sow, you will reap

Joy1706:

Shwybi when everybody even her own father was begging the man, he was feeling like a god ba? Its her own turn to be a goddess. You men always want to get away with nonsense. Issalie o. What a man sows, he will reap

Na you sabi. Keep carrying your grudges upandan like gala.

I'm not saying what the man did was right but I personally don't believe in keeping grudges and paying evil with evil.

If the woman refused to help her husband, she would not only be like him but she would be worse than him and it goes to show she's not even grateful to God for her successes.

northvietnam:
Court wedding or not..

woman at the end of the day, ur husband still wins... cuz he's the father of ur 3 kids....

and this shyte happened way bk..
why nt let go and move on.

if the man has been good and caring husband then why not take him along with his kids...
but if the dude has been an A$$hole then SCREW HIM...

if she leaves with out the man then she never loved him at the first place, she jushegot married cuz of the pregnancy...

she stated that clearly

[quote author=donnaD post=67162917][/quote]

This is not about feminism. It's about modernization and everything it stands for. The legal way of getting married was created for a reason, to protect women from the marginalization that paying of bride price will not take care of.

You can't select what you want to respect as the laws of the land. As far as the Nigerian law is concerned, that woman is a baby mama.

In the eyes of God, she has been living in sin.

I want to believe you will have children, if you don't already. I'll like to see you encourage them to shun legality and live we with men because we are Africans and it's only bride price that matters. And yo prove what? That you're not a feminist?

I will like to believe you are young and inexperienced and don't really understand what you are saying.

stuffs4me:


Na you sabi. Keep carrying your grudges upandan like gala.

I'm not saying what the man did was right but I personally don't believe in keeping grudges and paying evil with evil.

If the woman refused to help her husband, she would not only be like him but she would be worse than him and it goes to show she's not even grateful to God for her successes.

Funny enough I agree with you. If it were me I'll help him, but only because of God that found me worthy to be elevated beyond his expectations. Not because he deserves it.

But remember forgiveness and forgetting are two completely different things. Trust is like a rope, once it's broken it can never be the same again.

stuffs4me:


Na you sabi. Keep carrying your grudges upandan like gala.

I'm not saying what the man did was right but I personally don't believe in keeping grudges and paying evil with evil.

If the woman refused to help her husband, she would not only be like him but she would be worse than him and it goes to show she's not even grateful to God for her successes.

Its called giving him a taste of his own medicine. That's the way people learn. In his next life he'll learn not to be stone hearted.

[quote author=northvietnam post=67161425]

I think a man that fathered 3 kids with a lady, spent 9years with her in same Roof should be forgiving...

women r just teaching we single men Good lessons...
9fvcking years, 9years... that women is Devilish]......... she is devilish but the man isn't, abi? Keep deceiving yasef

AFONJACOW:
rubbish... and what of if I say you are not going to your America with my kid

don't mind the catfish...she thinks she can travel with his kids without his consent. She NVR apply for child visa obviously. Plus she evn has a formal job which makes it very easy to get to her. He even got her the job....mtchwee.

Women sha

Ezemarcel:
but within the period of nine years he has bn treating u guys well....my dear forget about the ignorance of the man...and move witg him to texas

within d nine years he Neva thought also to legalize d marriage but d thought came immediately he heard d word america.plsss let's cut d lady some slack.like u men will take d nonsense

caseynewnn:
within d nine years he Neva thought also to legalize d marriage but d thought came immediately he heard d word america.plsss let's cut d lady some slack.like u men will take d nonsense

well she shd b willing to travel without the kids or forge death certificate. Visas aren't granted to one parent ...both mum n dad must gv consent n UK only gvs kids 6 months.

Kinggnicole:



Lol... was it a big deal when she asked the man to marry her legally nine years ago?
That man has ulterior motives.

Obviously he has motives and is known to him alone but at the same time who is not selfish in this life? We shouldn't judge man due to his past.