Dear Married Couples,

Just want to talk about the difference between having sexual intercourse in a marital / covenant relationship and otherwise.

Is sex better between two people who have pledged to live their lives together in holy matrimony?

What are your views.

(Not out of judgement cause I have also been there. But when it is in marriage there is no guilt or the feeling that he might dump you or that
you have to do the "walk of shame" as a lady back to your house, office or bus. Being home all day is beautiful.

I want to thank the LORD for His precious gift of sexual intimacy within marriage. Theres nothing quite like giving God room to bless you in that area. Sex truly is a gift meant for marriage)

As a Christian, the bible is very clear on sex between two people within the boundaries of marriage.

Extra marital sex is not encouraged, was there a question about this?

Note, extramarital sex is not illegal as in not legally a crime I think (although adultery technically is), but it's not expected of a Christian.

Yes, others are having fun and mind blowing sex outside of marriage, as Christians we can't really copy them for the biblical reasons mentioned. It can no doubt seem as if Christianity doesnt let us have fun.

Lets not kid ourselves,

Sex outside marriage happens all the time. Most of us have been there too.

Just encouraging others that theres no better place than God's will. I would like others who have experienced both sides of the coin to encourage others that there is a better more fulfilling way out there.

I want to read what Bukatyne is going to type.

I think sex is always better in marriage than outside marriage

I wish I had something to say, but naaah I gat nothing

crackhaus:
I want to read what Bukatyne is going to type.

Ogini?

OgaMadam:
Dear Married Couples,

Just want to talk about the difference between having sexual intercourse in a marital / covenant relationship and otherwise.

Is sex better between two people who have pledged to live their lives together in holy matrimony?

What are your views.

(Not out of judgement cause I have also been there. But when it is in marriage there is no guilt or the feeling that he might dump you or that
you have to do the "walk of shame" as a lady back to your house, office or bus. Being home all day is beautiful.

I want to thank the LORD for His precious gift of sexual intimacy within marriage. Theres nothing quite like giving God room to bless you in that area. Sex truly is a gift meant for marriage)

@Bold:

I can't relate.

@ the OP: There is a guilt that comes with extra-martial sex if you have an active conscience.

It really hit me one Holy Communion service after NYSC where I wept like a babe in church and confessed all my sins and decided to end my relationship of 6yrs plus.

Thank God for the wise elders whom surrounded me. When I told my cos the blunder I had done ending my relationship, he quickly told me to reconcile and advise what to do.

A pastor who was serious on keeping the marriage bed undefiled told me in clear terms that what we needed was a job so we could get married asap.

His own pastor too gave very good counsel and it was beautiful in the end.

Cutehector:
I think sex is always better in marriage than outside marriage

Yeah it's better but not as steamy and hot like when not married, let's not kid ourself, in marriage one has nothing to prove to one's partner sex wise, cos he/she will always be there and available, so they tend to do it anyhow, but outside marriage, though not safe, you explore more to know one's capacity, sex drive, fantasy, fetish etc.

FYI, I'm not in any way encouraging adultery or fornication as I'm not into any, just an opinion and observation.

Fountainofyouth:



Yeah it's better but not as steamy and hot like when not married, let's not kid ourself, in marriage one has nothing to prove to one's partner sex wise, cos he/she will always be there and available, so they tend to do it anyhow, but outside marriage, though not safe, you explore more to know one's capacity, sex drive, fantasy, fetish etc.

FYI, I'm not in any way encouraging adultery or fornication as I'm not into any, just an opinion and observation.

What is wrong with doing the above in marriage?

Fountainofyouth:



Yeah it's better but not as steamy and hot like when not married, let's not kid ourself, in marriage one has nothing to prove to one's partner sex wise, cos he/she will always be there and available, so they tend to do it anyhow, but outside marriage, though not safe, you explore more to know one's capacity, sex drive, fantasy, fetish etc.

FYI, I'm not in any way encouraging adultery or fornication as I'm not into any, just an opinion and observation.

so you telling me that you are a virgin?

No guilt.
Enjoyed the ride and moved on.

I will feel guilty disrespecting an elder or not rendering a helping hand where I should have than doing what I enjoyed wholeheartedly.

Nigerians and santimoniousity
Una Weldon.

@op if u are feeling guilty, stop otherwise I don't understand why it's a topic.
Always women.
50:2.

Unmarried people have more sex, a fact most married people don't admit. Sex is blissful with a new partner, whether married or when single.

As per the OP, I don't know what you mean by walk of shame by a lady. There is no reason for a woman to feel shame after sex with her partner.

nlPoster:


Yes, others are having fun and mind blowing sex outside of marriage, as Christians we can't really copy them for reasons of conscience. It's depressing, no doubt.

It shouldn't be depressing. If following the tenets of your faith feels bad, there is something wrong in your beliefs.

I was roommates with a guy called Oko Ashewo in college. I had roommates who shared condoms as souvenirs. I had friends who offered free-no-strings sex. My faith would not let me. It was tempting, but it sure as heck wasn't depressing.

And by the way, my sex in marriage is hot and steamy! 8 years down!!

Fountainofyouth:



Yeah it's better but not as steamy and hot like when not married, let's not kid ourself, in marriage one has nothing to prove to one's partner sex wise, cos he/she will always be there and available, so they tend to do it anyhow, but outside marriage, though not safe, you explore more to know one's capacity, sex drive, fantasy, fetish etc.

FYI, I'm not in any way encouraging adultery or fornication as I'm not into any, just an opinion and observation.

Totally disagree.
Unless that person don't know how to spice up their sex life.

Even better as married if your partner knows his or her onions.

Also sex shouldn't be done always, u starve the body, create the atmosphere and it will end up hot and steamy.
Worst is when u have toddlers that don't have boundaries. U grap quickies at any spot and that is also very fulfilling.

And @op, sex is never a walk of shame. Who even told you that.
Mtcheew.

OgaMadam:


Not out of judgement cause I have also been there.

I'm curious about this part but I dont want to ask for details due to the judgemental nature of people here. And also, there are too many concocted stories flying around, at this time. Besides, I might bring it up myself if we fight.

OgaMadam:

But when it is in marriage there is no guilt or the feeling that he might dump you or that
you have to do the "walk of shame" as a lady back to your house, office or bus. Being home all day is beautiful.

Sex in marriage is no guarantee against what you listed.

bukatyne:


Ogini?



@Bold:

I can't relate.

@ the OP: There is a guilt that comes with extra-martial sex if you have an active conscience.

It really hit me one Holy Communion service after NYSC where I wept like a babe in church and confessed all my sins and decided to end my relationship of 6yrs plus.

Thank God for the wise elders whom surrounded me. When I told my cos the blunder I had done ending my relationship, he quickly told me to reconcile and advise what to do.

A pastor who was serious on keeping the marriage bed undefiled told me in clear terms that what we needed was a job so we could get married asap.

His own pastor too gave very good counsel and it was beautiful in the end.

Thanks for sharing.

Heavily coded but still good sharing.

LewsTherin:


Thanks for sharing.

Heavily coded but still good sharing.

U didn't have sex before marriage?
Why not share how u repented

sassysure:


U didn't have sex before marriage?
Why not share how u repented

I can only share what I've done now, no?

LewsTherin:


I can only share what I've done now, no?

So u married as a virgin, Lewis?

If so, kudos and u have my respect.

LewsTherin:


It shouldn't be depressing. If following the tenets of your faith feels bad, there is something wrong in your beliefs.

I was roommates with a guy called Oko Ashewo in college. I had roommates who shared condoms as souvenirs. I had friends who offered free-no-strings sex. My faith would not let me. It was tempting, but it sure as heck wasn't depressing.

And by the way, my sex in marriage is hot and steamy! 8 years down!!

I've modified my comment since conscience is not a good enough reason to not indulge in premarital sex.

Please check the edited version of my post.

wbb with more commentary. I know folks are waiting to take this thread to orgasm.

LewsTherin:


Thanks for sharing.

Heavily coded but still good sharing.

Hahahahahahaha @ heavily coded

Before i got married, my wife always had a quote " there is always some curious and exhilarating feeling when you are stealing meat from the pot apart from when that pot is yours". After we got married and she discovered the freedom that came with making love without hiding the notion from anyone, her perception changed. Sex in marriage is way better. When single, we would 'only smoosh' o, guilt will have us run back to God to ask for forgiveness so frequently, we would think God wasnt even sending us again. But now ehn...everything sweet. We have been late to church before on a sunday morning because we were busy smashing eachother. No guilt, No judgement, NADA!!! and we could still praise God in Fufilment. Got home and continued again.

I won’t encourage anyone to be irresponsible. Sex does come with a lot of baggage so one must engage wisely. But I will encourage responsible exploration only in ADULTS and with protection. You will get old one day. Your body will die. Your lungs will fail. Your heart will stop beating (I could go on). But the only life you have is one you have LIVED and all the types of orgasms that happened in it.

Are we going to tell a 30+ year old man or woman to keep depriving themselves of sexual pleasure until they find a wife or husband?

If I knew then what I know now, I personally wouldn’t have held out as long as I did and definitely would have felt no guilt engaging in sex outside of marriage. I did feel guilty then because my mind was still colonized.

Shame of having sex with someone you’re not married to is unhealthy. If you’re adult enough to do it, enjoy it and move on. Unless you’re ashamed of the person you chose to do it with. It happens .

Obviously not speaking from a Christian point of view so please no one should quote the Bible for me.

As for whether it’s better outside of marriage or inside of it, y’all can’t seriously expect a consensus on that.
Depends on what you want out of it and how well you and your partner or partners are synced.

OP someone you’re married to can still dump you
And a lady can also have sex in her house leaving the man to do the walk of shame back to the house, office or bus right?

Evening

I will read through posts but needed to stop here.

Sex in marriage provides a platform for intimacy and safety which spices sex up extremely.

I beg to differ fellow Nairalanders - yes marriage can be tough etc but when you employ God's design you attract blessings

Is adultery, fornication, sex before marriage part of His design?

Bear with me.

Sex based on a marital commitment between one woman and man with sincere mutual affection and respect = crazy sex

Crazy sex can originate from marriage

In fact if the marriage bed is undefiled sexual experience only gets better cause God is ok with anything both husband and wife consent to.

So explore and enjoy in the security of a holy commitment

Me I'm not perfect. Saying so would be a lie

I have made a few bad choices in the relationships I chose

It would be fair to say I ate one too many rotten apples. Do I regret? I don't know. Cause it shaped what I would eventually not negotiate for or compromise in a husband.

I knew a GREAT sex life with my man was non negotiable. I wanted him to be strong enough to screw me all night

I wanted him to make me deeply and satisfyingly Hot.

I wanted to be turned on by him without boundaries, to screw and not have to get dressed or go back

I wanted marriage

If I'm open, for some reason being married to my compatible person spiritually, traditionally, business wise, parenting, commitment wise and yes sexually - has been an out of this world aphrodisiac.

I just wanted to ask - is this what we are missing when if we obey God fully He blesses us seriously sexually

Chai but thank you Lord God cause this gift of sex in marriage is the tastiest.

THANK YOU MY CREATOR

LewsTherin:


It shouldn't be depressing. If following the tenets of your faith feels bad, there is something wrong in your beliefs.

I was roommates with a guy called Oko Ashewo in college. I had roommates who shared condoms as souvenirs. I had friends who offered free-no-strings sex. My faith would not let me. It was tempting, but it sure as heck wasn't depressing.

And by the way, my sex in marriage is hot and steamy! 8 years down!!

God bless you

Stealing meat from mum's pot and she giving you the meat. The feeling is different

We've had premarital sex, sex in marriage, outside sex in marriage. We've done it all and we came to the conclusion that sex is sex. It's enjoyment is a state of the mind and what you feel for your partner.
Truth be told, premarital sex and sex outside the marital bed is filled with guilt even though we're not so religious.

Even though we dabbled into sex outside marriage, we came to the conclusion that sex in marriage is still the best (saves a lot of wahala). As for being steamy, that's neither here nor there. Strictly dependent on your partner.

So practically everyone on the thread has told us they have fantastic and sensational marital sex life with their partners.

Interesting!


Well, you know me, I doubt every story especially when people here claim to be married. No offence.

Some might also be married but seeking a change to any sexual things described on the thread. Physically married but still searching.

bukatyne:


Ogini?



@Bold:

I can't relate.

@ the OP: There is a guilt that comes with extra-martial sex if you have an active conscience.

It really hit me one Holy Communion service after NYSC where I wept like a babe in church and confessed all my sins and decided to end my relationship of 6yrs plus.

Thank God for the wise elders whom surrounded me. When I told my cos the blunder I had done ending my relationship, he quickly told me to reconcile and advise what to do.

A pastor who was serious on keeping the marriage bed undefiled told me in clear terms that what we needed was a job so we could get married asap.

His own pastor too gave very good counsel and it was beautiful in the end.

I like this woman, she will hardly disappoint...

Didn't I say I want to read your own?
Na so jor.

[quote author=Fountainofyouth post=84828760]


Yeah it's better but not as steamy and hot like when not married, let's not kid ourself, in marriage one has nothing to prove to one's partner sex wise, cos he/she will always be there and available, so they tend to do it anyhow, but outside marriage, though not safe, you explore more to know one's capacity, sex drive, fantasy, fetish etc.

FYI, I'm not in any way encouraging adultery or fornication as I'm not into any, just an opinion and observation.[/quote

Don't conclude and generalised with your experience. Some of us are having the best exploration / experiments in that department. Sex is what you call it (that's fornication or adultery) outside marriage, in marriage it is called LOVE-MAKING. The fun, emotion and pleasure you get in love making in marriage is mind-blowing, satisfying and healthy at the same time. God is wise to restrict sexual activities withing the bounds of marriage.