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Some Wonderful But Hilarious Definitions / Amazing Definitions / Important Definitions (2) (3) (4)
Definitions by SamMilla1(m): 7:13pm On May 28, 2007 |
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH: A female moth. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. |
Re: Definitions by SamMilla1(m): 7:16pm On May 28, 2007 |
The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It's your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You'll pay for this later The wife says: We need to talk The wife means: I need to complain The wife says: Sure, go ahead The wife means: I don't want you to The wife says: I'n not upset The wife means: Of course I'm upset you slowpoke The wife says: You're , so manly The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights The wife means: I have flabby thighs. The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient The wife means: I want a new house. The wife says: I want new curtains. The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper! The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white. The wife says: Hang the picture there The wife means: No, I mean hang it there! The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep. The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive. The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like. The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap. The wife says: Am I fat? The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful. The wife says: You have to learn to communicate. The wife means: Just agree with me. The wife says: Are you listening to me? The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.] The wife says: Yes The wife means: No The wife says: No The wife means: No The wife says: Maybe The wife means: No The wife says: I'm sorry The wife means: You'll be sorry The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place. The wife says: Was that the baby? The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him The wife says: I'm not yelling! The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important! In answer to the question "What's wrong?" The wife says: The same old thing. The wife means: Nothing. The wife says: Nothing. The wife means: Everything. The wife says: Nothing, really. The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot. The wife says: I don't want to talk about it. The wife means: I'm still building up steam. |
Re: Definitions by SamMilla1(m): 7:19pm On May 28, 2007 |
Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No Im sorry. = Youll be sorry. We need, = I want Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want, = Youll pay for this later. We need to talk, = I need to complain Sure, go ahead = I dont want you to. Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you slowpoke! Youre so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Youre certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = , and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper, Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like. Ill be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Am I fat? = Tell me Im beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = Too late, youre dead. Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. In response to Whats wrong?: The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Nothing, really = Its just that youre such an idiot |
Re: Definitions by SamMilla1(m): 7:22pm On May 28, 2007 |
Guide for all women A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I'M HUNGRY. I'm hungry. I'M SLEEPY. I'm sleepy. I'M TIRED. I'm tired. I'VE GOTTA GO. Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. WHAT'S WRONG? I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. WHAT'S WRONG? What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. I liked it better before. YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. $50 and it doesn't look that much different! YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair! LET'S TALK, HONEY. I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks. |
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