Timson01:
We have only been married for three (3) months. February 12 was my husband’s birthday, but being that it fell on a Wednesday, we decided to mark it on Sunday, February 16. We hosted friends to a-get-together in our home. I did a lot to make the day memorable. The last group of friends left around 9:30pm and by the time we were done cleaning up, it was about 11pm.
We had our bath and all I could think of was sleep, but my husband was thinking differently. He wanted sex, but I was just too tired for anything so I said NO and asked him to wait until morning.
My husband angrily left the bedroom and I drifted off to sleep because I was too tired, but I was woken up with a slap in my face. I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. I was startled when I saw that it was my husband who actually dealt me a slap!
As I wanted to ask him what the issue was, he gave me another slap and said I had no right to deny him sex. I was forced to slap him back, but that made him angrier, he hit me back and pinned me down- I struggled with him, but he overpowered me. He tore my nightwear and RAPED me to his satisfaction.
I still do not believe this happened.
I was too tired- was I wrong to ask him to wait until the next day?
Was he right to have slapped me?
Was he right to have raped me?
SEX! Should it have been because of sex? We still had sex a night before- in fact early that morning- three (3) hot rounds.
It’s been three days after the incident, he’s still feeling fly like he was right.

Somebody please advise me on what to do?

Timson01:
Good day nairalanders,

I have a question bothering me. I have been in a relationship with my fiance for almost 3 years. Our wedding is this Easter. So we got a new apartment and he has been living in that apartment .

I visit almost every day and we both cant wait to get married. We moved some of his stuff in one of the rooms and I was trying to clean up and arrange some of the items when I saw some pictures of my fiance and his ex.

Personally,I was surprised he still kept pictures of his ex. (I discovered this ex is in the same church with him. I recognized her cos she is a church worker but he never mentioned they were ever together until I found these pictures). I put them together and my intention was to confront him and later,maybe burn the pictures. So I packed them in a bag waiting for him to return so I can show them to him.

I continued cleaning but I also saw like old CDs and I was wondering which ones to keep or throw away so I had to play them one by one in the DVD to determine which one was still good or which ones are bad so I can throw them away.

Just as I continued playing the CDs,I played one that I was not expecting. It was a sx tape of my fiance and his ex (his church member o) and another woman. I recognized the ex from the photos that I saw earlier on. I was stunned and shocked. Why did he make sx tape of himself having a party with his ex and someone else?
At this point,I lost it and couldn’t wait for him to return. He of course lied that he did not know he still had the pictures and video. He said the video was a mistake. He was young and stupid. The video was made when they were drunk.

I met my fiance through a mutual friend. Never for once did my fiance mention that his ex is still in the same church with him. In fact,he never mentioned her. I go to his church once in while but I never got any hint…I feel so fooled.

For me,its bullshit. All I can picture is him and his ex and that LovePeddler. Who is she,that ex…who is the other woman?…why is the ex pictures and videos still with the man I am getting married to in a few weeks.
My fiance has been begging me,saying he has destroyed the pictures and video.But that is not comforting me,my gut is telling me there is something about this ex. I mean,I know my guy is not a virgin,I know he has been with other girls in the past but never in a million years did I picture him as the kind of guy who would sleep with two women at the same time and even film it.

Plus filming it..he kept the tape…We have been together for 3 whole years…why does is that tape still in existence?Maybe he is still in love with the ex or maybe they are still seeing behind my back.

Or maybe he kept the tape as a reminder of the kind of s*x he likes…I am confused and I truly feel like there is something he is not telling me but he says I am just paranoid for nothing,that there is nothing going on. That he has not spoken to this ex for over 4 years.
Please advise me…is he telling the truth…his motive for making the tape too is scaring me…is he that type of guy or was this just one time stupid mistake?

Abeg nairalanders,make una advise me on what to do?

pocohantas:


I am getting older, I have more roles at work, a child I am training in uni and man troubles.

1StopRudeness:



U know It’s a tradition of greed under the guise that the deceased’s brother owes whatever the deceased left behind..... it’s not only degrading to treat a woman as an item, it’s also dehumanizing





But If it’s the the widow that willfully desires to start riding her late brothers shaft....all well and good

rain21:
How can the woman still be sexy and attractive to you at 39years old?hmmm

lefulefu:
biko forget that evening newspaper thing.dont some guys pm ladies who are older here .havent u seen a lady in her 30s been stalked by a dude before?

oyatz:
You don't know love/lust Sha!



Men still chase 45 year old women around.

1StopRudeness:



Come on .....this is disgusting.....

The brother is dead yet you want to run family monopoly on the widow’s pvssy....If this isn’t dehumanizing then I don’t know what is...

rain21:



They keep screaming 'evening and midnight newspaper'
Confused lots

rain21:



Dating and marriage are two different things

oyatz:


You were talking about a 39 year old woman still been sexy.

Even post menopausal ladies can still be sexy.

lefulefu:
its just to get una attention
u should understand we guys
normal tin

oyatz:
You are wrong sir.


In the olden days, a wife isn't just married to the husband but to the entire family.

If the husband dies prematurely and the widow is still young with children to cater for, the whole family will form a 'committee' and nominate the late husband's YOUNGER brothers/cousins for the widow to choose any one she likes.



The chosen brother/cousin will then marry her , provide for the deceased's children and the woman will continue to live within the family compounds.


Examples like this with varying modifications occur all over the world during different eras and instances like this are found in the Bible.

oyatz:
You are wrong sir.


In the olden days, a wife isn't just married to the husband but to the entire family.

If the husband dies prematurely and the widow is still young with children to cater for, the whole family will form a 'committee' and nominate the late husband's YOUNGER brothers/cousins for the widow to choose any one she likes.



The chosen brother/cousin will then marry her , provide for the deceased's children and the woman will continue to live within the family compounds.


Examples like this with varying modifications occur all over the world during different eras and instances like this are found in the Bible.

oyatz:




It's far better for the window to re-marry her late husband's brother/cousin than remaining singles and receiving side dicks here and there. Many people in the rural areas are born to fathers who 'inherit' their mothers.

1StopRudeness:
I [b]personally don’t like the idea of a man sexually desiring his friend’s wife..dead or alive..

Dude have some respect.... I feel like giving people like you rat poison[/b]

SmellingAnus:
All I can say is that may we not have such friends like you that will be waiting to bang our wives after our demise in the name of wanting to date her...

Sixfeetbelle:


Personally, that's your opinion, and in the major scale of things here, it doesn't count. You're not the dead man, the iyawo or the man.

zexy2030:
just forget that opinion, its absurd.

rain21:


Ok o
Post menopausal ladies are still sexy to demand marriage from them in reality, but in here it becomes an abomination to be single and more than 30.,
You guys are not serious

1StopRudeness:


Some people don’t get what it means when a situation is absurd or inappropriate....that’s when u start to hear :

shèbí it happened somewhere in the Bible.....

shèbí they are adults ....

For me, It’s the same way I see a 45year old woman dating and sleeping with an 18year old guy...they are both adults and it’s not against the law...but it’s just fvckin inappropriate and absurd to me.

1StopRudeness:


What do u mean by it’s better than for her to receive side dicks?? You people are the reason women keep shouting feminism and gender equality.... how will u automatically assume she will be receiving side dicks hence she should be transferred to the next available male in the house... see this discussion is just irritating to me....

rain21:



They keep screaming 'evening and midnight newspaper'
Confused lots

oyatz:
Bros, let me tell you one naked truth:


It is very difficult for someone who has experienced sexual intercourse to stop having sex, let alone a woman who was once married.


In Psychiatry, we were thought that Sexual urge is one of the four basic instincts ( the other three are Hunger, Anger and Survival instincts). It can be modified or even suppressed for a while but it can not be abolished.



I can say it with 95% Confidence that someone somewhere would have
had sex with the woman within the last FOUR YEARS that her husband died.

Logoobenz:
haha who tell you say I be your enemy?
Na say una no dey ever gree or hear word.
Na those boujie men weh una go dey look for go kill una las las..
Boys weh no hold one naira nor direction for life go dey pretend give una,dey lie to una steady with queens english say dem get audio contract for abuja una go dey listen,thinking say you dey with person.
I be tell you say come be for shop make I face Europe,just dey push you container you dey sell dey forward money.
You go keep your school one side enter market
After 10 years with trust anyi bago manufacturing...
Mana unu si nor ndi olu oyibo mor ndi boujie ka unu cholu
Ji si unu ike.
Anyi bu ndi odogwu

pocohantas:


Whatever makes you sleep better at night. At least you are someone’s choice, you should focus more on that. Focus more on her dear.