Lamanii22:
Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

That & he suld cut ties from both the friend & his supposed to be fiancee ,there's enuf stress in life to have such negative energy around u or spoken into ones future life

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

stop asking questions. Go ahead and marry her as you already made up your mind. Use your friend problem to anticipate and solve your own

Pray about it.

He probably eyeing or making passes at his wife sister , probably she turned him down or they both done something, find a way to locate where the girl is from travel down there without her knowledge and ask one or two people questions

I would advise you make external enquiries from others that know the family well just to be double sure

why give their real names ?

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

I suggest you don't propose to her, keep dating her no matter how long it will take, you will understand what is happening in her family

You can even find out somethings form your friend Victor and use it to ask her indirect questions

Love conquer everything if you love her, it will help in solving the family problems that is if she is affected

You are a man. That guy is not a friend. I dispose people like that as trash but everybody cannot be me. He stands on no moral ground to advice you on your choice of woman. That nigga is a fucking snitch. And he is snitching on you right now. Take your woman and get the hell out of there. Take your business somewhere else and build your home with this lady that captured your heart. Remember this, you may live to regret this day if you fails to marry this woman because of words from an unfaithful friend. Peace

I advice you consult with your Pastor or Elder for prayers and guidance. Also beware of unfriendly friends and learnt to keep some secretes.

1st and foremost, i do not believe in spiritual problems. You as a man should study the girl in question if u do love her.
Go and ask questions about her if u feel insecure even though i dont believe in asking ppl. I believe in finding out ones weakness myself. Do the investigation without telling anyone. Then your observations will make u take the final decision about her.
Important things in relationship
Honesty
Understanding
Trust
Caring
Love but dont let love blind your eyes that u won't see or notice her wrongs .

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

Either he is already having an affair with her or he is planning to

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

I suspect he could bbe sleeping wwith the wifes sister try to investigate

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Does Victor have children? I ask because if he doesn't, then its a cause for worry. Some spiritual problems attract barrenness.

Another thing is that you need to observe your girl well. Is she really humble?

Money changes women, not to talk of financial independence.
Watch it.

Why do you want to marry her apart from beauty?


Many marriages now are contracted on shallow grounds. Are you sure yours, isn't?

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Can you vouch that he hasn't slept with your girl before?

If he has, I see blackmail loading...

Your girl may have links with him somehow, which can crash your own marriage later.

evil1:
Don't be in a rush to marry the girl whether she has spiritual problem or not.
Take your time and know her more, discuss things of the spirit with her then pray and solve issues together. Behave like ur married already cos from your write up it seems you both are only attracted to each other physically and sexually.
One more thing, if you want to help her build a life of financial freedom do it without fear and regrets.
Break the barriers my guy.

Coming from evil1, I'll be worried with the advice

Don't just hear from your friend alone,do an inner investigation about the girl and her family,take the pains to even go to her home town and make findings for your self,your guy might just be a badbelle,since his marriage isn't working he doesn't want good for his wife's family

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

It appears you've made up your mind. You are not looking for advice but need approval or validation to move on with your already made up mind.

Just Pray and be patient.

"One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her." From that statement, I don't think you can trust Victor.
Moreover, Victor is vague. What did he mean as a spiritual battle? How did he confirm the battle is coming from his in-laws? Ask Victor more questions. Forget you met the girl through Victor, you too should personally investigate the family. Ask questions from your girlfriend.

If it's only spiritual problem, take her TB Joshua's Church and be done with that.

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

Do you want to marry her to spite or avenge your friend for what he did years back?

These things are neither white nor black o.

You met her this year and we just started 4th month.

This is marriage we are talking about o.

It's only time that will reveal true intentions.

Maybe you need to project yourself to her as a poor fellow to see how she reacts.

She may be hooking up with you for the money while you are there for the beauty and occasional.smiles.

These things fade with time.

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Didi2d:
I haven't even read your write up, but my thought is they know her better than you. So heed to the advice

They gave their support initially.

Now they are having issues, the man wants to retract his consent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQlcsrxQWP0

lilyheaven:
In our place, we ask questions about the family , their behaviors, kind of sickness they suffer, if madness runs in their family etc, normally , this questions are asked to old men or women around them. After gathering your data, you will be able to make the next move.
Since you don't have faith in your guy , do the needful.

What if you ask the wrong old man like Chinwetalu Agu character?

So, OP had been friends with this guy awhile uh... And has nothing good to reference the guy with, other than he kissed your babe... Hmmm... You've painted an ugly picture of your friend... I don't know what advice you want from nairaland again o

It doesn't take a genius to see that your friend's advice to you is spawned from hurt and vengeance.

What else do you expect him to say about the family of the woman he is about to divorce? A guy that has no boundaries even with friend's girl friend. Who knows what type of husband he is.

Guy, na your life, na your decision. You have already let your parents dictate to you not to marry the Muslim girl. Now, it's time for your disloyal, about-to-be divorced, spiteful friend and Nairalanders to decide for you.

Look, why don't you just man up for once in your life and see for yourself if this woman is going to be worth the rest of your life, while having it in mind that we all have baggages. Even you! God help you, bro.

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

take your time. in due time you realise if it's emotions or real love that drives you towards this girl. but your friend Victor is not a trust worthy one and should not be in position to advise you on who to marry or not. he hasn't a stable marriage, probably a cheat still. do your Norma business and stop telling him about your relationship while you watch how things goes with you and the girl.

tonynosi:
no african man that does not have spiritual battles to fight because of enviness, jealousy, poor family background.

You see am o. Dem go say dem be believers but can't even comprehend the devil is always plotting. With God, we pray to always overcome. No living man is without spiritual battles.

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

First he tried to sleep with your ex. He initially approved of your intention to marry his sister in law. Now he is suddenly against it, because he is supposedly fighting a spiritual battle with the family.
You should try and get to know your girl and family better. You no longer need Victor's permission for that. Then make a decision based on your experience with the family.
Victor does not seem like a reliable friend.

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

Don't break up with her because of your friend Victor. Get to know her better and if you are convinced that you want to live with her for better or worse, go ahead. Victor may not have your best interest at heart. He has betrayed you before.

So far as your friend wants to walk out from his own marriage. Bro my advice is you flee from that same family. If your friend is truly a bad person u for no still dey with am reach now.