This is a public announcement from the President of nairaland's SBA(Sabi Boys Association):

Gone are the days when we used to see the pre wedding photos of two nairalanders. Once upon a time, someone could actually pop on this forum and find their life partner. Now, I can understand that these days mumu teenagers can afford Android phones, register on Nairaland and meddle in adult matters, please forgive their parents. However, I get my guys wey don dey find true love and Dem don come online since pastor talk say make Dem work harder. Although that na their own problem, as a fellow Sabi boy I have to help out.

Now ladies, please all the ladies, from the ones wey dey financially independent to the verified e-beggars, from the ones wey be Prayer Cord for fellowship to the ones wey dey drop album on slimcase IG live, the ones still living with they parents to the ones living with a husband that is not your own (set awon Samaritan woman)... please stop confusing us. I mean you have monikers like pretty this pretty that, queen this queen that, lovely this lovely that or even sexy this sexy that, don't you know that 99.9% of guys on NL that come across such names must check your profile? The 0.1% that don't didn't read the moniker well. Then when they check, what do we have? Instead of the proof that people names dey follow them, you go find motivational quotes, online business or even a plate of food we know they can't afford as the picture! Haba! Habaaa! Are we mad ni?
Please Ladies, put your picture up there. Yes, no one is compelled to, but be wise like them Twitter ladies who know that your future partner may not stop you on the road but slide into your DM. Hide your face if you feel you're ugly but if this helps, know that no one is truly ugly...na just money never arrive. For the ones that are married, please indicate and block any fool that tries to form die-hard. Please I will not be responsible for any bestie in your life. I hope you understand.

Now to the guys, please a No is a No, it's rainy season already, no allow thunder fire you. And for all the guys in need of true love, continue to do your monthly sub and log-on to NL, your miracle is on the way. If you're a Sabi boy like me, young and not ready to settle down, don't follow married women whether on NL or elsewhere, don't bug single ladies with incessant nonsense, don't slide in like say you match banana peel. Be a real Sabi boy aka na dem dey rush us. Also, don't compare amaka on NL to amaka in suru, this one is educated and has a bright future with set goals, that one dey drink babies before she sleep. All I'm saying is there's nothing like all girls are the same, take it from a pro with years of experience in swapping and changing, no mind juice wrld(his soul r.i.p.). There are lots of good women in naija, you're just looking in the wrong direction, her face is up.

So once again, I remain my humble self, the engr wey dey engr engineers..Presido of the young and fresh boys club..Special adviser to 2baba on conji matters..the one wey Sabi. Shoutout to anyone who reads this and obeys. Any mod that comes across this and does not push it to the front page, ATM go swallow your card when you need it the most. Goodnight.

sori but who can sumarize this pasage 4 me