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Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by litaninja(m): 1:46pm On Aug 27, 2020
The only problem here is financial...both of you are too broke to be together at this point.

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced....
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by jornwhite: 1:52pm On Aug 27, 2020
IamPlato:
first of all I think you guys need to get that mentality that a girlfriend is suppose to cook for you when she comes over....

did you read all she wrote before jumping to support a fellow brother, we all do not know the full story... you said she carefully picked her words so the guy can be blamed bro everybody who lays complains about others do not talk about themselves because the complain is not about them but others...


if you are being logical you will know when something is right or wrong...



you don't have to be too uptight about ladies.... we all know ladies got their problems to but in this case a guy is the case study so focus on the damn guy and leave the girl's flaws out... that is not your problem...


From all OP said, does it look like ladies are ready to drop d entitlement mentality ever, why should a man drop there mentality women should cook, even the western world we copy blindly women till cook for there family, if beyonce can cook why wil one gurl come to my house n press phone all day.
I havent even picked a side yet n won't, when it comes to judging & advice you must consider all sides, there is no fair hearing when we av one side of the story,
She claimed to support her boyfriend, here i am wondering what would it av costed her to set aside 10k to buy foodstuff the moment she noticed no food in the house, i believe its a small price to pay for sumtin she hates, junks.... the ending of that story saved the guy for those that know how to read btw d lines. both are in loves all they need do is understand each other unfortunately distance is a barrier.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by jornwhite: 2:08pm On Aug 27, 2020
IamPlato:
If you know the meaning of ass licking you will know how to use the word but when you don't know you will embarrass yourself shamefully in public...



if you are educated enough about relationship, your brain will think before your mouth talks but in your case na the reverse set happen...


good luck with being a retardd...




I rather be retarded than come online to asslick any woman, i rather be a retard than be a male without discretion.
i saw how you attacked everyone that had a contrary opinion to what you feel emotionally, you kept calling OP's attention to discard all contrary advice like say you make sense ... bro if dem breakup are you ready to marry her or give her a new boyfriend with 5yrs pan africa warrantee grin

2 Likes

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by jornwhite: 2:10pm On Aug 27, 2020
cococandy:
grin



Don't just laugh let the sampling start with you, who is the breadwinner of ur home. lies are allowed grin
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by IamPlato(m): 2:12pm On Aug 27, 2020
jornwhite:





I rather be retarded than come online to asslick any woman, i rather be a retard than be a male without discretion.
i saw how you attacked everyone that had a contrary opinion to what you feel emotionally, you kept calling OP's attention to discard all contrary advice like say you make sense ... bro if dem breakup are you ready to marry her or give her a new boyfriend with 5yrs pan africa warrantee grin
take it or leave it, her guy is a selfish person... I hate selfish people male or female... I don't know her flaws, but if her man is this selfish then she is in danger...

and what makes you think she won't find another man... Lol... nigga chill, she will find another, that shouldn't be your problem

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Obason22(m): 2:18pm On Aug 27, 2020
My dear no relationship without a complain, d devil u no is better than the one u don no. So find way to correct him. After all were he is weak may be were u may be stronger so do something.
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by jornwhite: 2:42pm On Aug 27, 2020
IamPlato:
take it or leave it, her guy is a selfish person... I hate selfish people male or female... I don't know her flaws, but if her man is this selfish then she is in danger...

and what makes you think she won't find another man... Lol... nigga chill, she will find another, that shouldn't be your problem




So what do we call someone that had 150k, buh did not deem it fit to assist her bf with foodstuff even when its obvious he is broke.. instead she drop 1k for own meal not even her hate for junks disuaded her. @least mr broke dropped 5k for food, her own 1k is for who ? whu is selfish
If you lose money you could not help me with, i don't owe you any reaction, nd if i decide not join you in crying or run to 3rd mainland bridge to prove concern ... its doesnt mean am selfish.
if finding a man is that easy, some characters here would av bin married you are just bin unrealistic

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by mechanics(m): 3:08pm On Aug 27, 2020
Since you know what you want in a man, and he does not have those qualities, it's better you let him be and move on, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Mattsilva: 3:42pm On Aug 27, 2020
I don't mean to insult you.
But both of you are useless...

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Perocom(m): 4:48pm On Aug 27, 2020
michkosi:
Chaiii long distance always has a big toll on relationship.... My dear... Nah ur kind person I dey find shaa let's jus grow together

Hmmm, women can be very funny ehn. You see them in a wrong relationship, they complain yet can't summon courage to leave. How can you see a glaring useless man and you are still thinking whether to leave or stay? I think there is something you ain't telling us here on Nairaland...like he knows how to smash your ass well on the bed that's y you can't leave already. I know for a fact that sex alone can keep a woman in a sorry relationship
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nobody: 5:17pm On Aug 27, 2020
sometimes its better u just single and have ur peace of mind
so tell me what is op gaining in her relationship
someone is calling u useless and using all sort of hurtful words on u but yet u still in that relationship
anyway na ur life

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by ThatFairGuy1: 6:19pm On Aug 27, 2020
AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck

Niggarr!!

The guy needs to grow the fvck up!!

He ought to treat you better. You deserve a better man!

With how you typed and your Monika, I'm very sure the guy his older than you are. ADVISOR sad

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Aguogba(m): 6:52pm On Aug 27, 2020
[s]"I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles"[/s]
Who told you that the above is "normal"? This is exactly the mentality that has turned a lot of Naija girls into part-time Oloshos and side chicks.
Please add "ab-" to give it the right context. It should be the other way round.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by sodiamond: 7:16pm On Aug 27, 2020
Well a hungry man is an angry man. You should have bought food in the house and cooked even with your own money. Men are like kids you manage your man. Pls build your relationship now before you enter into marriage proper. Even though my husband assists me with sores, he can't still do a lot of things witbout me.

How can you get to your fiancé's house and continued to allow him buy food for both of you. What now makes you a woman.

Give your man sex, food and small respect and you own his heart for life. I'm not asking you to be his slave but you should be ontop of everything that makes his house a home.

There's always a difference between man and woman

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by theophilusj31(m): 8:17pm On Aug 27, 2020
dingbang:
Can i see your picture please? Update it on your profile, I want to check something first
lols we know wetin day your mind hahahaha
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by being(m): 12:24am On Aug 28, 2020
@ localchampion: Two straight things - he doesnt love you and you can't work together (not compatible). A third thing is he isn't acting responsibly as a would be husband.

So I can confidently say RUN! No other information or emotion will change the necessity for you to RUN! Like someone said indeed you are both wasting each other's time & emotions

And you should know that long distance relationship is 80% nonsense. D reason for relationship is to know your partner better as much as possible to know if u really admire/love and if you share same principles or can work together with your different views. So how Will distance relationship help this?!!
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by thinkmoney(m): 12:54am On Aug 28, 2020
Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.
The picture you have painted is not the picture of a good man. Don't ignore the signs
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by romenna: 10:31am On Aug 28, 2020
A lot of the people advising u here have failed in their own relationship.
Do not listen to them but follow ur instinct
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Prof0fficial: 11:32am On Aug 28, 2020
I can cook, wash and clean my house happily even if my visitor don't.... when you do good to people automatically they will reciprocate on the long run.

because they will always feel they owe you something or they are not being grateful....

this is natural logic.
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nobody: 11:45am On Aug 28, 2020
sodiamond:
Well a hungry man is an angry man. You should have bought food in the house and cooked even with your own money. Men are like kids you manage your man. Pls build your relationship now before you enter into marriage proper. Even though my husband assists me with sores, he can't still do a lot of things witbout me.

How can you get to your fiancé's house and continued to allow him buy food for both of you. What now makes you a woman.

Give your man sex, food and small respect and you own his heart for life. I'm not asking you to be his slave but you should be ontop of everything that makes his house a home.

There's always a difference between man and woman
Sorry, chove your useless advice down your throat, disgusting.
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by nhurhetee(m): 12:42pm On Aug 28, 2020
He is not the problem in the relationship, you are...

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by CONFAMA: 9:51am On Aug 29, 2020
Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Don't. There's too much wahala in your relationship and you're not even yet married
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by shegzydave(m): 6:06am On Sep 02, 2020
watchindelta:
I concur with you but sometimes story they get two side.
Yes sometimes like u said, but in this case the girl or lady has really really tried, am a guy I have sisters If they experience this kind of thing I will tell them to breakup
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Temijay6681(m): 7:36am On Sep 02, 2020
U guys are all judging the guy, can't u see she is hidding her side of the story? That guy is a good guy cos she said it herself that they both spend on each other, he is not depending on her, I think she is lazy, she doesn't cook or clean the house, read the story again.how can some one complain of the house not looking as if a woman is around if she tidy up the house, and she say she refused to buy food stuff cos she doesn't want him to feel bad, haba which guy wld his woman buy food stuff and before he comes meet food and wld complain, she also mention of him saying she doesn't behave like every lady which am sure he is right he just doesn't know how to talk things with her. Lady u have a great guy, just advice him on how to talk and correct u
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by CAPSLOCKED: 3:54pm On Sep 07, 2020
Localchampion:

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

NA INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION YOU BE NWANNE, BUT I PRAY SAY YOU GO GET SENSE DISEMBARK BECAUSE THIS TEAM NO QUALIFY FOR ANY TOURNAMENT AT ALL.

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