Hi guys, I'm in dire need of advise....I've been in a relationship with a very beautiful lady for the last 8 years. We started dating since we were in high-school and we are finalising plans to spend the rest of our life's together. She's currently serving and we plan on getting hitched after her service year. I recently found out that she's been in a situation-ship with a married man. I had my suspicions few months ago. When I tried reaching her around 8pm (she's usually always reachable) and she didn't pick the call, the phone was later switched off ...I called her room mate and was told she's not at home. She later explained that she went to the cinema with her female friends. She's a bit of a photo freak and does not miss the opportunity to take a good picture...so it was surprisingly convenient when I asked to see pictures and was told there was none. Fast forward to a few days ago

I needed her email details to update an account, I was still logged in when an alert of 40k came in.....we are extremely close hence I'm very familiar with people that could send her money. The name attached with the transfer was non I was familiar with. I confronted her and she came clean, that it was from a married colleague of hers, that he's sent her money twice. She claims there's nothing attached to it, he comes to her apartment once in a while, parks outside and they sit in the car and talk for 30mins to an hour they text almost everyday for long hours (4-5) and he's sent her one or two gifts. She swears they've never been intimate and that they've just gone out once the day she claimed to be at the movies with her friends.

I think they've never been intimate, and I'm tempted to forget about the whole thing but she broke my trust and lied to my face multiple times when I confronted her about things I'd noticed, she insisted I was acting out of proportion for being suspicious and assured me nothing was going on, when you've been with someone for so long you know the person almost completely...so I could tell something was off. The thing is she's adamant that all she did wrong was lie about going to dinner with him, she's making feel crazy for thinking she emotionally cheated on me, she feels collecting cash and spending so much time texting and chilling with a married man in the car is not an issue, especially when he's asked her out and is clearly interested in shifting her pants. Am I wrong to feel cheated on, should I continue with someone that thinks this way, is this a red flag??

When I tried reaching her around 8pm (she's usually always reachable) and she didn't pick the call, the phone was later switched off ...I called her room mate and was told she's not at home



Only these are red flags!!!!!!



Like seriously.... trust my foot! She can't accept her man to have a dinner with a lady now, I know she will be jealous when she couldn't reach you in the night when you are not picking calls!!!! Do unto others as you want others to do unto you! Having a date with a married man intimacy with a married man and 30 minutes inside her apartment when it's not official? What are they doing?! Watching movies koburu oooo. Office talk or what? Why not be in the office and end there? She is a real cheat!!!! Irresponsible lady at that, so Wake up!!! Okay ooo let me keep quiet

Young man, if you were enough for her, she wouldn't have given the married man a chance to come close to her at all! She's irresponsible for giving a married man a chance. The bitter truth, no responsible lady dates a married man. Tell her to her face that she's a home breaker! As for climbing, the married man don climb am tire. I advise you start looking for responsible and faithful woman to marry.

so should I continue with someone that thinks this way, is this a red flag??

No continue, it's a very clear green light. But one thing I know, it may end in premium tears. And your next topic will be how my girl of 8years dump me. Now I'm thinking suicide!

Our instincts and intuition are 90% most of the time correct. There is more to what she told you.
When someone lie, he/she needs 99 more lies to cover a single lie.
How many men freely dash girls money these days if not to make them morally indebted to them so that once they want to plug the charge the said girl will feel guilty blocking the charging port.

Oga this your case strong. If you want to continue you can continue.

Mehn this is beyond local man logistics

Op. ..Early Sunday morning you Don dey lament for love matter.. Kai... .Bros that ur girl nah mini olosho... Bfor u know she go enter d business fully. . She dey Bleep that man wella... For her to collect money from the man bros forget... The picture is clear nah...which man or married man go dey give u money water knacking.... Op I swear e happen to my friend ...she d9 say nothing dey go on. . Las Las we catch her.. .

If u know wetin good for u leave that girl...

She belong to the street

Do you still trust her? What is your gut feeling telling you?

Bro, why are you simping? If that guy isn't knacking your babe already, the knacks will soon start.

Many ladies and even the married among them are guilt of this. Collecting money/gift items from men and claim there's nothing between them.
From your narration your GF is already spreading her tent

Cheating is more than sexual intimacy, what you described is basically a relationship without the sexual stuffs, this how every relationship begins, the fact that it has not proceeded to the intimacy point doesn't make her any less of a cheat.

How will you be texting with someone so often and claim its normal for a friend not to even talk about collecting money, or that he's married

After 8 years of relationship....what did she misplace that she is searching for

Girls this days get mind

Pelaguis:
Hi guys, I'm in dire need of advise....I've been in a relationship with a very beautiful lady for the last 8 years. We started dating since we were in high-school and we are finalising plans to spend the rest of our life's together. She's currently serving and we plan on getting hitched after her service year. I recently found out that she's been in a situation-ship with a married man. I had my suspicions few months ago. When I tried reaching her around 8pm (she's usually always reachable) and she didn't pick the call, the phone was later switched off ...I called her room mate and was told she's not at home. She later explained that she went to the cinema with her female friends. She's a bit of a photo freak and does not miss the opportunity to take a good picture...so it was surprisingly convenient when I asked to see pictures and was told there was none. Fast forward to a few days ago

I needed her email details to update an account, I was still logged in when an alert of 40k came in.....we are extremely close hence I'm very familiar with people that could send her money. The name attached with the transfer was non I was familiar with. I confronted her and she came clean, that it was from a married colleague of hers, that he's sent her money twice. She claims there's nothing attached to it, he comes to her apartment once in a while, parks outside and they sit in the car and talk for 30mins to an hour they text almost everyday for long hours (4-5) and he's sent her one or two gifts. She swears they've never been intimate and that they've just gone out once the day she claimed to be at the movies with her friends.

I think they've never been intimate, and I'm tempted to forget about the whole thing but she broke my trust and lied to my face multiple times when I confronted her about things I'd noticed, she insisted I was acting out of proportion for being suspicious and assured me nothing was going on, when you've been with someone for so long you know the person almost completely...so I could tell something was off. The thing is she's adamant that all she did wrong was lie about going to dinner with him, she's making feel crazy for thinking she emotionally cheated on me, she feels collecting cash and spending so much time texting and chilling with a married man in the car is not an issue, especially when he's asked her out and is clearly interested in shifting her pants. Am I wrong to feel cheated on, should I continue with someone that thinks this way, is this a red flag??

Abeg,nah early morning be this oooh.

IN MOSDII VOICE
NIGERIAN LADIES ARE USELESS ALL OF THEM ...............

She aint your girl geeee she already for the street... that man has rode your bitch like a mofo!!! Back to back.. even right now as we speak he’s currently digging her guts out till she buhhhhhhh

I can't stand a woman that has no respect for her body. Your woman is playing you because she knows you're a proven ishi (Ode). The red flags are too glaring for the blind to see.
Op it's time you take the long walk.

wow.. 8years of relationship.. o.k.. tell me you have never cheated on her all these years

Settle this out of Nairaland please,....

Opemiposii:
wow.. 8years of relationship.. o.k.. tell me you have never cheated on her all these years

What are you driving at?

8years relationship Woow
Oga OP, don't continue the relationship
I hate lies, she should have told you
She is hiding more than that

The babe is a clever bitch. She knows what is doing. See how she has skillfully put you in a confused state, while her obvious infidelity is sibject to doubt by you who is supposed to be threatening fire and brimstorm. The money spent by the man was to procure what commodity? It is certainly for "thank you" for rendering such a great service. Having been rewarded hamesomely, don't you think she is eagerly waiting for a rematch? Yes, she has slept with the man and will continue to sleep with the man because you don't have balls.

Opemiposii:
wow.. 8years of relationship.. o.k.. tell me you have never cheated on her all these years

Oh it is pay back time i guess

So if the Op hasn't cheated on her
What will be your response?

He should forgive her abi

Opemiposii:
wow.. 8years of relationship.. o.k.. tell me you have never cheated on her all these years

Will you rest,she is not cheating with another random dude but with a married man ...Kai.You are a dog on God.

2dice01:
Oh it is pay back time i guess

So if the Op hasn't cheated on her
What will be your response?

He should forgive her abi

Na mumu that girl be,no mind the werey.

Bro ,you tried to call her but it was not reachable ....them don tear her be that

Money came in ,as payment for the services rendered .

jimmychang:



Na mumu that girl be,no mind the werey.

E fit be Guy with hairy balls

It's very unfair to tie down a lady for 8 years in the name of dating!

.

As you no wan marry the girl make you let another person try im luck

Just know the next thing that will happen is she either hides her chat, change password or outrightly refuse you touching her phone because the married man no go back down after 40k investment.
I don't get how do you go out with a married man to the cinema?wetin Dem wan discuss. Massive disrespect from her to you

Womanizer:
It's very unfair to tie down a lady for 8 years in the name of dating!

You didn’t see where he stated that it started from secondary school?

Can you in all honesty state that you have not been with another lady in the 8 years you have been dating?

Pelaguis:
Hi guys, I'm in dire need of advise....I've been in a relationship with a very beautiful lady for the last 8 years. We started dating since we were in high-school and we are finalising plans to spend the rest of our life's together. She's currently serving and we plan on getting hitched after her service year. I recently found out that she's been in a situation-ship with a married man. I had my suspicions few months ago. When I tried reaching her around 8pm (she's usually always reachable) and she didn't pick the call, the phone was later switched off ...I called her room mate and was told she's not at home. She later explained that she went to the cinema with her female friends. She's a bit of a photo freak and does not miss the opportunity to take a good picture...so it was surprisingly convenient when I asked to see pictures and was told there was none. Fast forward to a few days ago

I needed her email details to update an account, I was still logged in when an alert of 40k came in.....we are extremely close hence I'm very familiar with people that could send her money. The name attached with the transfer was non I was familiar with. I confronted her and she came clean, that it was from a married colleague of hers, that he's sent her money twice. She claims there's nothing attached to it, he comes to her apartment once in a while, parks outside and they sit in the car and talk for 30mins to an hour they text almost everyday for long hours (4-5) and he's sent her one or two gifts. She swears they've never been intimate and that they've just gone out once the day she claimed to be at the movies with her friends.

I think they've never been intimate, and I'm tempted to forget about the whole thing but she broke my trust and lied to my face multiple times when I confronted her about things I'd noticed, she insisted I was acting out of proportion for being suspicious and assured me nothing was going on, when you've been with someone for so long you know the person almost completely...so I could tell something was off. The thing is she's adamant that all she did wrong was lie about going to dinner with him, she's making feel crazy for thinking she emotionally cheated on me, she feels collecting cash and spending so much time texting and chilling with a married man in the car is not an issue, especially when he's asked her out and is clearly interested in shifting her pants. Am I wrong to feel cheated on, should I continue with someone that thinks this way, is this a red flag??

bro I was Just laughing when I read this.. It happened to me sometimes when I was still in uni.. I had this babe I was dating, she started chatting with one married man and claim it's nothing.. he will send he money..she swore that nothing was going on between them, even tho I doubted but I kept my cool because she hasn't really seen the man before cos he is always busy, offshore stuff..
But guess what? Lol, during the next holiday, bit*ch went home and the man lodge her in the hotel.. how did I find out? I had her password on fb, so I just logged in one day and was reading their chats, the man was questioning her that since the last sex he has been seeing some strange stuff like STD..yes STD! They were just arguing in the chat..not knowing I was also reading it.. I called her immediately and broke the news to her, bit*ch was crying and begging that it was a mistake..trust girls na..but I was done with her for good, we resumed back to school and I made it clear to her to stay clear from me.. so my guy, the hand writing is on the wall, it's left to you..these hoes ain't loyal