| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by mariahAngel(f): 3:42pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
Excuse!, excuses!! excuses!!!
You guys should learn how to be intentional about parenting like mothers.
A mother would go to work and still find time to bond with her children. I know someone who got home very late at a former job and bought a diary for her daughter. The daughter would summarize her day with concerns and the mother would respond either when she comes back or on her way out the next morning.
Naturally, they would discuss whatever was required over the weekend. She also took the daughter to the saloon, market, friend's place etc. to bond.
If you do not sleep at the place of work 24 hours 7 days in a week, you can do much more than a financial sperm donor to your kids. Take them to barbing saloon with you, ask them what they learnt at school, after church/mosque ask them to summary the lessons they learnt on your way home, take an interest in their homework, the subject you know teach them yourself, once in a while take them all to the kitchen and cook/concort something, be available when they want to discuss life issues. Have enough presence/influence in their lives that they will always say 'my daddy said; my daddy thinks' etc. Lead them by example: don't lie, treat their mother with genuine love and affection, let them know you as a person of integrity, lead them in prayers, be interested in their welfare, provide emotional, spiritual, mental and social support. Let them feel safe and protected when they remember you as their father. Stop saying 'go to your mother, let me rest/I am tired' when they come excited to engage you. Even if you are an atheist, pass on whatever morals you want them to have. Know their likes, dislikes and preferences. Be approachable, teach them the life skills you know (how to repairs things/paint/polish shoes/fishing/farming/electrical works/trade/gist them about your job etc.)
I DELIBRATELY LISTED THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE MONEY.
Don't be a third party relying on your wife to translate your love/annoyance to them. How would she be able to 'poison them against you' when you have a relationship with them? 
I remember a scene I was blessed to witness and I have said it here several times: A keke driver drove his kids around the street on a fine Saturday morning to bond with them. Do you know the snacks they had? The akara their mother fried at home. And they were freaking happy. Back then, the man would not spend more than N1k to fuel the keke for that trip and prepare the akara.
Noteworthy!✍� ❤️ it! 5 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Nobody: 3:49pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
Discussion for another day.
Why would a woman endure all sorts of nonsense because she wants to pay back at old age?
This life is one and I will start enjoying it from my small age. When I look back in old age, I want to reminisce about all the good times I had with my husband/kids/work/family/church/life generally and how I want to enjoy my old age.
I don't have the time to remember all the bad things someone did and how I want to start paying back.
My lifetime is to precious for that. Exactly my point. Instead of waiting in anguish all through your prime just to revenge in old age, better to forgive and let go. Then focus on making yourself happy for a healthier and graceful aging. Bitterness is like poison. It kills. 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:54pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
CharisEleos:
Exactly my point.
Instead of waiting in anguish all through your prime just to revenge in old age, better to forgive and let go. Then focus on making yourself happy for a healthier and graceful aging.
Bitterness is like poison. It kills. Their faces would now be etched with permanent frowns because they are bitter then they start hounding their daughter-in-laws! Mbanu. Baby girl life for life biko. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:55pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
1 Like |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by otipoju(m): 4:10pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
ImaIma1:
If you invest love and time in your children, nobody can turn their hearts against you. Children are that simple.
A man cannot live his life carelessly and think that providing school fees and feeding money is enough to build a bond. A woman will work just like the man and contribute money also, and still find time to bond with the children. It's not rocket science. It's simple cause and effect.
A man that comes to say the mum poisoned the children against him has a big fault there. He has an equal chance with his wife to bond with his children. I used to be like you...thinking life in terms of black and white...believing all you see not knowing there are many grey areas. My naivety was phenomenal. Nowadays if i dont hear the accused's version of events, i will never pass judgement. My only prayer to you is to pray that you dont see what will pass you. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Nobody: 4:14pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
bukatyne:
Their faces would now be etched with permanent frowns because they are bitter then they start hounding their daughter-in-laws!
Mbanu.
Baby girl life for life biko. Lol . @bold.  True! |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by crackhaus: 4:16pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
All these scare tactics are juvenile...A man should bond with his children ONLY because it is the right thing to do, NOT because he wants to impress his wife or needs them to take care of him in old age. You women know nothing else than using emotional blackmail to get what you want.  And BTW, a lot of men are really great fathers... doing what they must, and doing what they can. It's only natural that children will still have a special bias for the wellbeing of their mothers... It doesn't mean the man did anything wrong raising them. When NL chics talk about their fathers who refused to bond with them and make it seem like this is the normal way every other family operates, it makes me laugh. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by yuping(m): 5:03pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Mazi ohyinyeah you have said it all if them like make them hear. |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by cococandy(f): 5:04pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Why? Because they are on the internet telling themselves it’s okay to be bad husbands and fathers.  12 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Amopeekun(f): 5:07pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
I pray they hear ooo Redpillar:
After spending all your youth doing boyoyo and claiming men are polygamous in nature, you return to your virtuous wife in retirement. Woman that didn’t enjoy you when you were healthy and energetic, you na want her to spend her own retirement nursing your failing health? Smh! 5 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by ImaIma1(f): 5:41pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
otipoju:
I used to be like you...thinking life in terms of black and white...believing all you see not knowing there are many grey areas. My naivety was phenomenal. Nowadays if i dont hear the accused version of events, i will never pass judgement.
My only prayer to you is to pray that you dont see what will pass you. I see many grey areas and I'm not a judgemental person either. I have seen many instances to know that there are exceptions. However, in most cases, the fathers shifted most of the care and responsibilities to the mothers; afterall it's a woman's job to take care of kids. So many fathers like to live their lives the way they want with no inconveniences from the kids, only to come and cry foul later in life. 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Truvelisback(m): 6:38pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
To many, it's as a result of their bad past lives. Perhaps, they did or deliberately refused to give support to their wives and the children most importantly. May the children after years of struggling and making in life decided to teach their father a lesson by ignoring his needs. |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by otipoju(m): 8:49pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
ImaIma1:
I see many grey areas and I'm not a judgemental person either.
I have seen many instances to know that there are exceptions. However, in most cases, the fathers shifted most of the care and responsibilities to the mothers; afterall it's a woman's job to take care of kids.
So many fathers like to live their lives the way they want with no inconveniences from the kids, only to come and cry foul later in life. How about the many fathers whose role as provider forces them into situations where the cant be physically present most times for the children...or even mothers self. Do they deserve to be abandoned by the kids because they never " bonded" with them due to absence? Even though they ensured that their physical and material needs were well taken care of. Anyways me i have learned from my environment and the experience of others...as you dey provide for the family, invest in stuff that can take care of you when you can no longer work. So you existence is not dependent on the whims and caprices of your adult children 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by oracle009(m): 2:31am On Aug 25, 2021 |
Well... Someone posted my mind up there. I've been thinking about this lately. I'm hustling my butt out in a strange land, my wife and kid are at home and the boy will probably be imagining that I am not a responsible father.   . Whereas, all I'm doing is to give him a good pedestal in life, while trying to see how they will join me. He won't talk to me on phone and will probably be seeing the mom as the provider My own submission, take care of your family as a responsible husband and father. But, don't sleep on it o... Prepare for ur old age. I never wish or pray to be dependent on any kid or wife in my old age. God take me instead of such. My opinion o... If you don't like it, congratulations to you 10 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ohyinyeah: 6:18am On Aug 25, 2021 |
oracle009:
Well... Someone posted my mind up there. I've been thinking about this lately. I'm hustling my butt out in a strange land, my wife and kid are at home and the boy will probably be imagining that I am not a responsible father. . Whereas, all I'm doing is to give him a good pedestal in life, while trying to see how they will join me. He won't talk to me on phone and will probably be seeing the mom as the provider
My own submission, take care of your family as a responsible husband and father. But, don't sleep on it o... Prepare for ur old age. I never wish or pray to be dependent on any kid or wife in my old age. God take me instead of such.
My opinion o... If you don't like it, congratulations to you |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by rafikii: 6:39am On Aug 25, 2021 |
Redpillar:
Yea right. They never have time to bond with their kids, but they have the time to sit at bars drinking small stout and pepper snail. They also have time to keep numerous side chicks. Tell them to help with the kids, they will become very busy and tired.
Tiri gbosa for Nijiriyan men. Chai...I apologise on behalf of your father  2 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Arsenate(m): 6:44am On Aug 25, 2021 |
oracle009:
Well... Someone posted my mind up there. I've been thinking about this lately. I'm hustling my butt out in a strange land, my wife and kid are at home and the boy will probably be imagining that I am not a responsible father. . Whereas, all I'm doing is to give him a good pedestal in life, while trying to see how they will join me. He won't talk to me on phone and will probably be seeing the mom as the provider
My own submission, take care of your family as a responsible husband and father. But, don't sleep on it o... Prepare for ur old age. I never wish or pray to be dependent on any kid or wife in my old age. God take me instead of such.
My opinion o... If you don't like it, congratulations to you First emboldened, the very reason for my opinion on this subject. My field of work requires that we stay away from our families for a good chunk of the time. Most of my colleagues do lament missing out on the formative years of their kids. They, however, take solace in the knowledge that the sacrifices are worth it if it means their families end up getting the best things life have to offer; education, healthcare, good housing etc. You will expect their women to be their allies, understand this and explain to their kids, but apparently that's too big an ask. Or maybe they do understand but they want to pretend otherwise to justify their ill plans. Whatever the case, thread the safer path; save and invest for your older self. 7 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by NgHotGirls: 7:34am On Aug 28, 2021 |
The truth is bitter. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by zeb04(f): 8:54am On Aug 28, 2021 |
Working off shore is not an excuse
Men find every excuse in the world to not be responsible to their kids.
My dad use to work offshore. Sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes 1 month.
Let me tell you, we all happily prepare for his coming like the resurrection because that is when the ogbonge enjoyment begins.
When my dad comes, my mother goes on a break. That is when you will see five children all eating in the same plate with my dad.
Every evening we must stroll, all the stories we wanted to tell him, we write it in a jotter and wait for my dad’s return.
When I started working my dad will buy yahooza meat(for those in abuja) and come. and gist with me on my lunch break. We spent the time insulting my boss lol.
Oh lord, i just remember how we use to buy fried yam and akara every evening and drive around abuja just gisting about life.
For someone who was an orphan, My father is a family man through and through.
Uptill today, even though i am married my dad still tries to bribe me to come home so he can take me out on valentine’s day like he does back then.
My dad is still alive, i call him every time I always ask, have you eaten do you need anything, is everything okay?
Working offshore for a period of time is never an excuse, i think some men don’t have it in them because of how they were raise and some dont even want to learn.
It is not emotional blackmail when people say uou will reap what you sow. It is just the way it is.
I love my mum. But i am a daddy’s girl. 18 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by SunShowAfrica: 9:15am On Aug 28, 2021 |
That's another reason why men should have as many wives and kids as much as possible.
When one kid is not responding another will 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Luak(m): 12:07pm On Aug 28, 2021 |
To all the hardworking husbands; God will not allow shame to shame us 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ndidi2: 2:06pm On Aug 28, 2021 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
Excuse!, excuses!! excuses!!!
You guys should learn how to be intentional about parenting like mothers.
A mother would go to work and still find time to bond with her children. I know someone who got home very late at a former job and bought a diary for her daughter. The daughter would summarize her day with concerns and the mother would respond either when she comes back or on her way out the next morning.
Naturally, they would discuss whatever was required over the weekend. She also took the daughter to the saloon, market, friend's place etc. to bond.
If you do not sleep at the place of work 24 hours 7 days in a week, you can do much more than a financial sperm donor to your kids. Take them to barbing saloon with you, ask them what they learnt at school, after church/mosque ask them to summary the lessons they learnt on your way home, take an interest in their homework, the subject you know teach them yourself, once in a while take them all to the kitchen and cook/concort something, be available when they want to discuss life issues. Have enough presence/influence in their lives that they will always say 'my daddy said; my daddy thinks' etc. Lead them by example: don't lie, treat their mother with genuine love and affection, let them know you as a person of integrity, lead them in prayers, be interested in their welfare, provide emotional, spiritual, mental and social support. Train them, set appropriate boundaries then discipline them in love when they err with the aim of correction. Let them feel safe and protected when they remember you as their father. Stop saying 'go to your mother, let me rest/I am tired' when they come excited to engage you. Even if you are an atheist, pass on whatever morals you want them to have. Know their likes, dislikes and preferences. Be approachable, teach them the life skills you know (how to repairs things/paint/polish shoes/fishing/farming/electrical works/trade/gist them about your job etc.)
I DELIBRATELY LISTED THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE MONEY.
Don't be a third party relying on your wife to translate your love/annoyance to them. How would she be able to 'poison them against you' when you have a relationship with them?
I remember a scene I was blessed to witness and I have said it here several times: A keke driver drove his kids around the street on a fine Saturday morning to bond with them. Do you know the snacks they had? The akara their mother fried at home. And they were freaking happy. Back then, the man would not spend more than N1k to fuel the keke for that trip and prepare the akara.
God bless you for this post A wake up call for parents Always make heartwarming memories.. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ndidi2: 2:17pm On Aug 28, 2021 |
bukatyne:
The same people singing their mothers are saints and fathers demons?
Luckily, fathers are now becoming much more intentional about parenting and would reap the rewards in their old age. ua very intelligent. I like you. God bless you.. 2 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ndidi2: 2:23pm On Aug 28, 2021 |
|
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Munzy14(m): 9:16pm On Aug 28, 2021 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
Excuse!, excuses!! excuses!!!
You guys should learn how to be intentional about parenting like mothers.
A mother would go to work and still find time to bond with her children. I know someone who got home very late at a former job and bought a diary for her daughter. The daughter would summarize her day with concerns and the mother would respond either when she comes back or on her way out the next morning.
Naturally, they would discuss whatever was required over the weekend. She also took the daughter to the saloon, market, friend's place etc. to bond.
If you do not sleep at the place of work 24 hours 7 days in a week, you can do much more than a financial sperm donor to your kids. Take them to barbing saloon with you, ask them what they learnt at school, after church/mosque ask them to summary the lessons they learnt on your way home, take an interest in their homework, the subject you know teach them yourself, once in a while take them all to the kitchen and cook/concort something, be available when they want to discuss life issues. Have enough presence/influence in their lives that they will always say 'my daddy said; my daddy thinks' etc. Lead them by example: don't lie, treat their mother with genuine love and affection, let them know you as a person of integrity, lead them in prayers, be interested in their welfare, provide emotional, spiritual, mental and social support. Train them, set appropriate boundaries then discipline them in love when they err with the aim of correction. Let them feel safe and protected when they remember you as their father. Stop saying 'go to your mother, let me rest/I am tired' when they come excited to engage you. Even if you are an atheist, pass on whatever morals you want them to have. Know their likes, dislikes and preferences. Be approachable, teach them the life skills you know (how to repairs things/paint/polish shoes/fishing/farming/electrical works/trade/gist them about your job etc.)
I DELIBRATELY LISTED THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE MONEY.
Don't be a third party relying on your wife to translate your love/annoyance to them. How would she be able to 'poison them against you' when you have a relationship with them?
I remember a scene I was blessed to witness and I have said it here several times: A keke driver drove his kids around the street on a fine Saturday morning to bond with them. Do you know the snacks they had? The akara their mother fried at home. And they were freaking happy. Back then, the man would not spend more than N1k to fuel the keke for that trip and prepare the akara.
Interesting and detailed!... Memories live long....growing up...My dad created time to register all of us in secondary school the moment anyone of us graduated from Primary school...It a memory to me, because our peers as usual will have their mom running around with their files during registration..But my dad was there for us...plus tips he gives to our teachers. That usually makes us popular in our respective schools back then. I also reminisce he do take us to swimming at teens. Parenting is a case of all hands must be on deck...Men should adjust from the usual providing money only and voom!.. It does them dirty as age comes. 9 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:32pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Munzy14:
Interesting and detailed!...
Memories live long....growing up...My dad created time to register all of us in secondary school the moment anyone of us graduated from Primary school...It a memory to me, because our peers as usual will have their mom running around with their files during registration..But my dad was there for us...plus tips he gives to our teachers.
That usually makes us popular in our respective schools back then.
I also reminisce he do take us to swimming at teens.
Parenting is a case of all hands must be on deck...Men should adjust from the usual providing money only and voom!..
It does them dirty as age comes.
 |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ohyinyeah: 4:48pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
SunShowAfrica:
That's another reason why men should have as many wives and kids as much as possible.
When one kid is not responding another will |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ohyinyeah: 5:51pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
I always hear some women threatening their hubby with old age to deal with them when that time comes.
One day, I asked. Why do you have to endure all the suffering in your youth instead of moving out and doing something useful with your life, just to get back at him in old age? And she was like, "shey now, he's doing bobo bobo" but when that time comes he'll need her to take care of him but she'll make him suffer neglect by abandoning him. I was like .. hmm..
Men, be wise as this is a very common thing we see happening and many young women are still making that threat.
Stop with the "guy-yoyo" you're forming for your wife so that she doesn't abandon you when you need her the most.
Nuf said. oh please |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Raalsalghul: 7:33pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
Redpillar:
Yea right. They never have time to bond with their kids, but they have the time to sit at bars drinking small stout and pepper snail. They also have time to keep numerous side chicks. Tell them to help with the kids, they will become very busy and tired.
Tiri gbosa for Nijiriyan men. Na here we go see your power. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by addictiv(m): 8:51pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
That's why I tell men, if u must cheat get a second wife or hire an escort. Never have a mistress. All this talk of women leaving their husband for omugwo is nothing new.. All women do it even the one her husband treated as a queen because women are wired to go gravitate towards greener pastures and there is nothing you can do about it. Than to prepare yourself for the inevitable. Ask yourself why women married to billionaires and multimillionaires dont abandon their husbands to live permanently with their married kids? Because they know that even in old age the man is still very attractive to millions of gold digging babes who are younger, more beautiful and will do almost anything to have a child for the man. Once she starts doing anyhow, just get yourself a younger damsel as a second wife, who will take care of you very well in old age. Our forefathers knew this, and they lived long and died happily fulfilled men. If you like treat your wife like Queen Elizabeth, when you are old and dried up with nothing else to offer and it's time to dump you she will do it in a heartbeat if she sees another option for a softer lifestyle with her kids. Moral of the story... Money is a defense, in all you are getting, acquire the funds. A wealthy man can never be lonely even at the point of death in Old age 2 Likes |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 9:05pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
Ndidi2:
ua very intelligent.
I like you.
God bless you.. Thank you. God bless you also. |
| Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Magnoliaa(f): 11:48pm On Sep 02, 2021 |
Mtcchew. |
