Please I need tips on how to handle an aunt that begs a lot and has entitlement mentality. Everytime I call her she is always asking for money plus her entitlement mentality is irritating. This my aunt is very nice and prayerful, she caused her own poverty by having many children. When I was little she was always coming to the house to beg my dad for money, my dad got angry with her for giving birth to extra children for a man that she wasn't married to. I used to think my dad was wicked for not helping her but now that I am grown, I understand better. All her siblings (my uncles & aunt) have abandoned her since may years ago because her problem never ends. She is always begging and they have their own families to take care of.

Ever since I started working she is always asking for money. Last year a cousin of mine got married, she said I should send her transport fare to travel down to the village for the wedding. I wonder how that is my duty. Every phone call is always about money, if I say no money she will say send phone credit. Honestly I wouldn't mind the demands if she had at least contributed to my life but she has never done anything for me before. Even when my dad was misbehaving regarding my education, she was busy supporting him. Now that I am a graduate and working, she wants to reap where she didn't sow. The people who sacrificed for me (my aunt, grandma & brother) are the ones that deserve my money. I will spend any amount on them because they sacrificed to get me to where I am today. Even if they call to ask for money, I don't mind because they deserve it. Not this one that has never done anything for me before except praying.

Last week we went for my cousins wedding, my mum arrived before me and she called to tell me my aunt was praising me that I am the only one that calls her among all her siblings children. I am also the only one that sends her small money and credit. Nobody else calls her phone, she knows that when I make it I will take care of her. It made me realize that all my cousins don't call her, I am the only one she does this her begging with and she is pitching her tent for when things get better for me. She even told me the things I am supposed to buy for them when it is my own wedding, I was shocked. Even her own daughter doesn't beg, she carries herself with pride.

Please I need tips on what to say when I call and she ask for money? I always say I don't have much or things are hard but it doesn't stop her from asking the next time. Please what can I say or do to stop this nonsense without making her feel bad. I want to be like my other cousins that she can't even try to ask for anything. Thanks.

Block her number.

missidy:
Please I need tips on what to say when I call and she ask for money? I always say I don't have much or things are hard but it doesn't stop her from asking the next time. Please what can I say or do to stop this nonsense without making her feel bad. I want to be like my other cousins that she can't even try to ask for anything. Thanks.

You should first overcome your own saviour complex and you will see that the answer has always been with you.

That is too extreme, ha. I can't block her.

eyinjuege:
Block her number.

How please? I don't understand.

Kobojunkie:
You should first overcome your own saviour complex and you will see that the answer has always been with you.

missidy:
How please? I don't understand.

The problem make have started from back when you thought your dad wicked for not "saving" your aunt. Maybe you probably decided to play "saviour" for her in his place.

eyinjuege:
Block her number.

And stop calling her....simple

True. Now I know better that is why I want to put an end to begging.

Kobojunkie:
The problem make have started from back when you thought your dad wicked for not "saving" your aunt. Maybe you probably decided to play "saviour" for her in his place.

Ok

sisisioge:


And stop calling her....simple

missidy:
True. Now I know better that is why I want to put an end to begging.

What is the age range of her own children?

1st is almost 40, 2nd is my age mate and the remaining 2 are teenagers.

greenie77:


What is the age range of her own children?

missidy:
1st is almost 40, 2nd is my age mate and the remaining 2 are teenagers.

Are her 2 adult children not financially supporting her?

No they are not. They are not doing well, her son can be termed poor. She couldn't train them in school except the daughter who is a graduate (her father trained her).

greenie77:


Are her 2 adult children not financially supporting her?

I guess I will stop calling her except for Christmas and Easter. I know she will say I have stopped calling her because she asked for money, she has said it before. Lol

missidy:
True. Now I know better that is why I want to put an end to begging.

Put an end to her begging or put an end to your giving to her?

When you are ready to stop giving her, you won't need anyone to advice you on that at all. You already have numerous examples from those in your own family right there.

I have stopped giving her. I haven't given her any money this year yet she still begs during every call. I only gave her airtime last month. Even when you don't give, she still ask on the next call.

Kobojunkie:
Put an end to her begging or put an end to your giving to her?

When you are ready to stop giving her, you won't need anyone to advice you on that at all. You already have numerous examples from those in your own family right there.

missidy:
I have stopped giving her. I haven't given her any money this year yet she still begs during every call. I only gave her airtime last month. Even when you don't give, she still ask on the next call.

So the reason you created this thread is to stop her from begging?

missidy:
Please I need tips on how to handle an aunt that begs a lot and has entitlement mentality. Everytime I call her she is always asking for money plus her entitlement mentality is irritating. This my aunt is very nice and prayerful, she caused her own poverty by having many children. When I was little she was always coming to the house to beg my dad for money, my dad got angry with her for giving birth to extra children for a man that she wasn't married to. I used to think my dad was wicked for not helping her but now that I am grown, I understand better. All her siblings (my uncles & aunt) have abandoned her since may years ago because her problem never ends. She is always begging and they have their own families to take care of.

Thanks.

Madam, if u don't stop it now, she'll soon become a thorn in ur flesh.

There's hardly any extended family member who truly appreciates what u struggle to do for them. It's never enough, even if it means dishing out ur head.

Hold on with calling her for a while&refuse taking her calls, even if u don't block her. When u eventually get to talk to her, let her know how busy you get to make ends meet esp wif d situation in d country.

After wch u let her know how financially engaged u are, wch means u got nothing to spare at d moment - diplomatic enough, I think

U may then decide if u'll pick maybe only festive periods to 'spoil' her.

Good luck to u.

Kobojunkie:
So the reason you created this thread is to stop her from begging?

Madam is still using sentiments

mignone:

Madam is still using sentiments

And she is still falling for it because he still thinks he can "save" her.

You're a good woman.

Start by calling her to help you with some money.... Dont stop oooh...... Keep on bugging her for money for different purposes almost every two weeks .. she go run

missidy:
That is too extreme, ha. I can't block her.

You don't need to block her, just ignore her calls and give her less attention

This your aunty doesn't have shame. The old begging the young meanwhile the reverse is supposed to be the case.

Thank you all.