Sending her back to her family is the best option unless you are ready to keep criminal and be paying for her crime in expensive way

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

Wait. You mean you searched her and find #200,000? How much did your sister said was missing from her POS business?

Don't be too harsh on her. It might be the money she got from her boyfriend. Just advice her with serious warning.

This life can be funny and nobody knows what it holds. Treat and advice the way you will treat your blood sister. Be very cautious

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

I think your suggestion is good. Let her see a counselor

Baba my advise to you is, every family has one bad egg or a black sheep as people say. It’s quite unfortunate it had to be her. She’s still your sister and from your story y’all grew up together.imagine if you kick her out, what’s gonna become of her? Think about it. Just manage her and y’all have to be careful with handling cash around her. My advise is, get her engaged with a job or something that will take her outta the house and reduce the time she spends with her peers. God bless

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

I think your suggestion is good. If you behaving like oyinbo will make her better an see save her life do it. Let her see a counselor

Hmmm, She just got bad friends now.

To me she'd your cousin sis and tye money has been found caution her warn her not to repeat such again, because since the money is found no need to maltreat her or locking her in the guard room as suggested by your brother...

Just caution her

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

If you can't place your own sister in guard room, do not place her there.

The best you can do is to report her to her blood parents.

One or both parents may come and give her the beating of her life. They may even want to take her away.

Of course, she will beg not to be taken away. One of you can step in and plead on her behalf but with a caveat that if it happens again, she might have to go.

The problem isnt as big as you make. She's going through what the Apostle Paul called "the bloom of youth" (Read 1 Cor 7:38). This the time when youths want to taste life. Sadly, some steal during this stage. They eventually outgrow this period and desire to settle down.

Your mum can call her and talk sense into her. Ask her probing questions: "Do you want to ruin your sister's business? What wicked thing did she do to you? Has she offended you? You can tell me, you can confide in me?

Your mum can tell her that she too was sissy when she was young. She can show her old pictures. That though she was sissy, she never stole! The most she ever did was to borrow other people's clothes (if true). But to steal, never!

Guardroom is too much. My relation was locked up by his dad for 2 days in SARS cell for unrepentant stealing. Did he change? Flat no!

A friend of mine was brought up by his aunt from the age of 2. In his very early 20s, he was kicked out and died around 30years of age from kidney complications. Even before then, he had a broken arm that never fully healed. No funds to treat it properly. I still think of him. Don't ruin what you've started.

WHITELIGHTER:
I’ll advice you send her back now…I have cousin who have been with us since she was 3, she stole and did all sorts while growing up and we forgave her and moved on. She’s 22 now. Recently we found out she has been recording every conversation in the house and sending it to our enemies while secretly planning unforgivable evil against my sisters…las las we drove her away.

So my brother, chop that head off now and stop being melodramatic and foreign about it

Since 3? How did she know she is not part of the family? Wow!

oldtruth:


Since 3? How did she know she is not part of the family? Wow!

She was with my grand mom as after her parents died, at 3, she was already street smart because of the freedom she had staying with granny. So we took her in….

The girl's your family, treat her like you'd your family. We've all seen and heard stories of children who betrayed their parents and vice versa, it is not a new thing. If you're certain she's new in the business, forgive her and caution her.


By the way I noticed your story did not really add up well. You mentioned this cousin of yours was suspected by your sis cause she was spending large yet you found the exact amount that was missing untouched

No age, no idea how you raised her,or how deep you pampered her, or how you avoided koboko in her upbringing

And you dey dia they talk of therapy likesay na white man country youu dey

Keep her away from phones and social media for a month or two
Hopefully She would get back her Default/factory settings...

Maturity at it's peak. Your head get oil..

Ebubechuwku:


Sending her away won't solve the problem. What if their real blood sister should behave in that manner, will they send her away also?...

Treat the case the way you would do to your blood sister also..

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

you said she leave with you guys from age of 5 and has become part of the family and blood, so treat her as you will treat ur sister. Sending her back to her parents isn't the solution

Richy4:
Sure.. she has started mingling with bad eggs... People that dates scammers and so on.. she will have to practice with immediate family.. just to belong.

Call her parents if they were alive and explain the reasons why she must take a one-way trip to them... Tell them everything with facts so that it won't look like you guys were deliberately accusing her falsely...

It is a family matter, The family might not forgive u guys if you do that...She has graduated from college.....
Why did u say 'Cousin Sister' though,.. I was thinking cousin is cousin as one starts reading the article, u get the gender.. (initially, I thought it was your Sister's cousin)

cousin's sister is still cousin

lol.

Hmmm this reminds me of Bimpe in ''my siblings and I''. Honestly my humble submission is thieves dont change. She will do it again and again and again if she gets the opportunity. So if you cant send her away, then be kind enough to quietly endure the coming episodes.

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

treat her as you would your biological sister.

Sit her down, talk to her about the consequences of being wayward. Give her live examples of what may befall her if you eject her from the house.

The best bet is to send her home to her parents let her brain reset
Any punishment you net out to her might boomerang

Easy. If she apologized, we all deserve second chances. She is still family.

Forget this your family feelings for her n sentiments......allow them treat her like a thief and send her back to her parents.......yu may regret this if you choose otherwise.

The case so simple. send her to her parent .yes let her know herself.

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

Involve her parents if they are still around or family members that are genuine and see their reaction that will give u a clue on the next line of action

Nairaland children story book

Really

My candid advice for u is to give her a second chance since such thing has never happened before and try to help her by talking sense into her skull. But if she try such nonsense again, send her to where she belong.
All man/woman for himself/herself

People differs, there are some people who you will give hard punishment and there will become worst, there won't see it that you are trying to correct them rather there will see it as if u hate them,

So my advice is this let this one slide just advice her and give her serious warning,
that next time
You won't let it slide.
tell her what you wanted to do to her before you decided to warn her that next it's repeat it self she will have to face the consequences of her actions
At least with that piece of advice if such repeat itself and you are passing your judgement on her you won't be feeling bad cuz u warned her

Treat her as though it's one of siblings that committed the act.
She is family
Family is family

How old is she op? Her age will determine the best course of action.

So until she uses you or anyone else close to you for ritual abi? She has shown you she doesn't appreciate all you have done for her. Act now. Detach emotionally and let her go. Do not entertain pleading from family members. We are too emotional in Nigeria. Let your reaction be final. Thank you.

So glad to see many agree with me on the issue. No second chance. Give another chance and you may live to regret it.

A word is enough for the wise.

maestro299:
Isn't your cousin's sister also your cousin?

I had to look at it again and again and again.