My aunt wants to divorce her husband. They have four kids together (ages 13,12,10 and 3) and it won't be easy for her or rather, my family to take care of all four kids.

The man rarely pays school fees, he doesn't give them money for feeding or anything at all and he says he's not interested anymore. He also says that orphans survive after all, so the kids will cope. He's childish and sends insulting messages to my family all the time, he has started threatening too.

We've been charged 150,000 naira by a lawyer but what will come next after the divorce?

She is okay with him going his way, she just wants him to start being responsible with the children's school fees and probably, feeding. Will this be enforced by the court?

Divorce is hurtful yet necessary in most cases.

However, the kids are always the "dupes" of two adults failing to manage or tolerate each other.

It is selfish of us to want to be happy going our separate ways without having to consider how happy or sad the innocent kids we have brought into the mix will be impacted by our selfish decisions.

Except your Aunt and her attorney can prove that he earns so much, usually, child support in Nigeria is quite small. If they can’t prove that he earns a sufficient amount to take care of himself let alone support the kids, the most a judge will award your aunt is 10k monthly per kid.

(This opinion is draw from reading divorce cases and rulings, not actual legal expertise. Lawyers in the building will have something more tangible).

Make una ask her oo.

Is she really ready to divorce her husband? Women can sometimes be unpredictable.

Who should take custody of their kids?

Let's assume she takes custody of all four can she take full responsibilities should her husband fails to do all the court asks him to in terms of support?

These are some of the questions she should answer before una go chuk head for her matter

Ahmed0336:
Make una ask her oo.

Is she really ready to divorce her husband? Women can sometimes be unpredictable.

Who should take custody of their kids?

Let's assume she takes custody of all four can she take full responsibilities should her husband fails to do all the court asks him to in terms of support?

These are some of the questions she should answer before una go chuk head for her matter

She'll take custody but my family can only partly support. He hasn't been responsible for the kids for a while now but she's only a petty trader and needs him to at least pay fees.

daddytime:
Divorce is hurtful yet necessary in most cases.

However, the kids are always the "dupes" of two adults failing to manage or tolerate each other.

It is selfish of us to want to be happy going our separate ways without having to consider how happy or sad the innocent kids we have brought into the mix will be impacted by our selfish decisions.

Believe me, the kids will fare better with the divorce, this on and off thing is killing them slowly. The emotional abuse they see their mother go through is making them act weird already.
We've all tolerated him and his insults for years, praying and hoping he'll change.

Timoleon:
Except your Aunt and her attorney can prove that he earns so much, usually, child support in Nigeria is quite small. If they can’t prove that he earns a sufficient amount to take care of himself let alone support the kids, the most a judge will award your aunt is 10k monthly per kid.

(This opinion is draw from reading divorce cases and rulings, not actual legal expertise. Lawyers in the building will have something more tangible).

Understood, thank you.

Reviewer:


Believe me, the kids will fare better with the divorce, this on and off thing is killing them slowly. The emotional abuse they see their mother go through is making them act weird already.
We've all tolerated him and his insults for years, praying and hoping he'll change.

It's all good.

There seems to be good enough grounds for divorce so, I say, fire down.

.

Klass99:


But, what is the point of staying when the man doesn't provide money for feeding, school fees and has said he is not interested, after all orphans survive just fine?

He is already failing in his responsibilities, I doubt a court order will make any difference. If she is a smart woman she will carry on with her life, as if the man doesn't exist. Very few people obey court orders in this country and nothing happens or is done about it. Enforcement remains a big issue.

My only concern in this matter is how she allowed herself to birth 4 kids, with a man who was slacking off his responsibilities. If she saw that, he was up to no good, why not stop at the 2nd child? Two children would have been easier to take care of than four, under the present circumstances.

From where I stand, the phrase children are a blessing, is starting to feel more and more like a scam and an African/Nigerian thing, invented to console people or justify their bad decisions. What I know is that - children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

Can people stop having children they are incapable of taking care of? It is unnecessary suffer head for the children who didn't ask to be born, suffer head for the parents, a burden to relatives who are striving to make something of their own lives and a menace to society, when these children turn to criminal vices for survival.

This is my opinion, keep it drama free and move along, whether you agree or disagree. This is 2022 and still a very new year I no get energy for fight abeg.

Exactly what I wanted too, move on like he doesn't exist and change her address, especially because he does not stay with them, he only visits once in a while. It's not going to be easy, but they'll cope.
He was acting better before they had the 4th child.