NLElder:
Get her pregnant? We are not visiting each other again. I have let her be It's just my obsessing about her left and which is what I need help about.

I would be surprised if you are surprised by your obsession with her. You two were in a sexual relationship for 2 years. It would be difficult to withdraw.

Keep trying to ignore the urge to call. You’ll get over her in time.

Must you give her bele before you can come back to your sense...
Assuming the girl has been pregnant for you now, and scatter your matrimonial home, it's then your full sense would come back to you.

NLElder polygamy is not a sin. You should have married her if she doesn't mind.

I dont understand the problem you put yourself.

I dont understand this sidechic thing at all. WHY Should lady be a side chic to a married man? Why not just marry him and stop sexual immorality.

Guy you are in deep trouble cos you may never get over her.

NLElder:
Get her pregnant? We are not visiting each other again. I have let her be It's just my obsessing about her left and which is what I need help about.

Guy forgettit... You will never get over her except you make your wife do what she does sexually.

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

Hmmmm, fact is she truly loves you as much as you love her, but she needs a new life too, she wants to get married and have her own family, bro i understand how you feeling, trust me but if you know you truly love her, then let go of her and probably work more on you wife, be more romantic, say lovely things to her, make her see the difference in you and help her with her sexual life, im having same challenge with sexual life and i think its good to her a wife that is not a sex addict , than have a nymphomaniac as a wife.

Pray over it, but mind you if you continue having close communications with her then believe me, you will start another episode of your affairs together again.

Report Her to your Wife

You were sincere, vulnerable and deeply committed albeit to the wrong person since you have a wife already. But don't beat yourself too much about it, see it as past and a mistake.

Forgive yourself and pray God to forgive you too.

No lie, it will take time for you to forget the last and move on, but that is what you must COMMITTED to do. Start by cutting off all forms phsical seeing, delete her on socials and stop spying or trailing her. Don't look at her pictures and remember old times. Cut off phone communication. You are not enemies, but this part of the way you can help ur mental state no matter how hard it feels or seem.

Lastly, draw closer to be more affectionate with your wife.

It will take time ....but u will get thru u jejely!

AfroKnight:


I would be surprised if you are surprised by your obsession with her. You two were in a sexual relationship for 2 years. It would be difficult to withdraw.

Keep trying to ignore the urge to call. You’ll get over her in time.

It takes just once bro. Not even 2years.

I tell these married ladies to up their games in the bedroom. Sex is important.

For instance, I don't know how I will ever cope with a wife who can't give me crazy head and let's say I'm married to a lady who says she can't give head n I now have a sexual encounter with a lady who gives me a mind blowing BJ...

Nothing will separate me from the latter.

Ladies please and please, try to make your husbands happy in the bedroom and verseversa.

I can't stress this too much

You want to compete with Saint Paul in epistles writing?.
You're a kid in marriage clothing.
Instead of confessing to God and leave your wayward ways.
Nairaland seems to be a place to write long epistle.

OP how will you feel if your wife was the one in your shoes? I mean the one having all this fun with another man out there?? let that woman go, and go put your house in order bro. it may be a difficult task, but what inspires us to take certain difficult steps in life is the awareness that it will be rosy at the end... good luck

Toks2008:


It takes just once bro. Not even 2years.

I tell these married ladies to up their games in the bedroom. Sex is important.

For instance, I don't know how I will ever cope with a wife who can't give me crazy head and let's say I'm married to a lady who says she can't give head n I now have a sexual encounter with a lady who gives me a mind blowing BJ...

Nothing will separate me from the latter.

Ladies please and please, try to make your husbands happy in the bedroom and verseversa.

I can't stress this too much

Why would you go ahead to marry a lady who says she can't give head?

You will have to move on with your life. I'm almost certain you both were in love and no doubt you probably would get married given you are single yourself but this is the thing, when you find something that you have been missing in a marriage, in another woman, it's only natural to develop feelings especially with the time and space you had working away. In my opinion, I expect you to know better and not to create a fuss when she decided to move on with her life because at the end of the day, you weren't going to marry her and I think it's a bit selfish on your side trying to disrupt that by picking unnecessary argument and borderline stalking. This is a clear sign of obsession and you need to rid of it quick before it affects other areas of your life down the line. Sometimes in life, you can't have your cake and eat it. Or rather to drive the point home, you can't have your Kate and Edith. Good luck!

ajekpaks:
you'll lose the love of your life because you're married?

Walahi this na the greatest toture for him

When you are in a sexless marriage and you then meet someone the passion is beyond breaking point

And that Lady may not be so much into her new guy

I feel for the guy

Confess to your wife and I promise you will be free.

The solution you need is in your hand Op,
Solution 1:
first solution move close to your wife now. Your wife is the only cure to that sickness. Otherwise you will loose both of them (your marriage and the side chick)
Solution 2:
Delete everything that connect you to her,or better still find a new female friend but that is a risk solution tho.
Do these 2 solution for a month and thanks me later.
Note: dnt give excuse you cant get close to your wife because of work, spend some time with her

decatalyst:
This looks like a poorly written book. No paragraph or continuity.



Click LIKE if you want me to summarize it and SHARE if I should not.

person dey type in pains u dey there dey find paragraph and continuity

Alvino1:
OP how will you feel if your wife was the one in your shoes? I mean the one having all this fun with another man out there?? let that woman go, and go put your house in order bro. it may be a difficult task, but what inspires us to take certain difficult steps in life is the awareness that it will be rosy at the end... good luck

Rosy in a sexless marriage?

It's already a very big problem for the op

Talk better when you are in his shoes

boss find something to cover up your mind seriously, you crying for a lady you know you don't have a future with is very poor of you, you are married boss face and focus on your family,ask yourself if your is your wife is cheating carelessly with another man how will you feel.block her all round in social media that's the no.1 step of moving on.for the memories and good times find ways to get it outta of ur mind... gorgeous..oga go and ask God for forgiveness.your sins bokuu

Toks2008:


It takes just once bro. Not even 2years.

I tell these married ladies to up their games in the bedroom. Sex is important.

For instance, I don't know how I will ever cope with a wife who can't give me crazy head and let's say I'm married to a lady who says she can't give head n I now have a sexual encounter with a lady who gives me a mind blowing BJ...

Nothing will separate me from the latter.

Ladies please and please, try to make your husbands happy in the bedroom and verseversa.

I can't stress this too much

Exactly why men should set their priorities and know things they cant live without even after marriage and seek out a partner that won't make them compromise on it.

If bj is what will make marriage easy for you by all means seek out a lady good at it and don't go and bring someone's daughter who doesn't want that to come and change because of you.
Na there wahala dey.

Some men can go years without sex ,when it's there it's there when it's not they take it like that and don't get furstrated about it. While some will seem like they want to die if they don't fvck for a week ,such people have no business being in a long distance relationship or with a woman with low libido.

Read books, go for thoughtful walkout & you'll free your mind from free sex.

Free sex is so addictive & hard to leave.

mariahAngel:


In this loooooooooooooooooooooong epistle according to Scent NLElder, you failed to tell us how you've been treating your wife?

After you betrayed her, tell us all the things you've made her go through (and still putting her through)?

Tell us how you've ignored/abandoned her.
Tell us how you hardly call/visit her.
Tell us how she's hardly ever on your mind.
Tell us how you hardly/no longer touch her.

I noticed he did not tell us the consequence of his escapades on his wife and his home. Anyways, he will hardly notice..when he was busy philandering with his mistress.

Hey Man,
Ur not a simp! U only find it difficult to extricate urself from the 2 year old "marriage". I appreciate that u wrote that long story to gv a background to ur personality and the type of life u run with wife and kids. However, the only thing that would lessen ur pain n obsession is TIME. Calm down and resist many the temptations of stalking your sidechick. Delete her number (not block) so u guys can still chat but u don't av to see her status updates. Respond to her chats normally n stop bn grumpy cos that means she's got u where she wants. Honestly, i have experienced a near similar situation as urs but then i accepted the fact the we couldn't be together forever hence the reality helped soften the pain.
U may also take some time off work and be with ur family, focus on them only for a week or two vacation without communicating with ur sidechick, u av initiated the process of moving on.
Lastly, ur sidechick may be getting married but i assure u that she's checking to see to how ur coping without her. She might be sorry but then uv got to show that tho ur hurt, u r moving on fine as well. Dont form for her and try to make jokes abt the whole situation. These should help.
In reality, uv tasted the sidechick life and u fit no fit stop. If u admit u cant stop, just get another side chick but limit ur commitment this time.
God be with u sir.

Morale of story


Dont marry a circumcized woman..


Bye.

Originalsly:


And you think it makes sense to quote the entire epistle?... let alone to make such a dumb comment? Do the needful... modify your post.

Okay, Sir.

I have modified it now.

U should be happy and free that babe or else make her your second wife if u get balls✌

I took my time to read through carefully trust me I sincerely understand with you.
Now my advice change your apartment that will help your brain from sweet past memories.

Confess to your wife thou not in details apologies to her and bring her closer teach her how to love make her your friend

Lastly talk to a councilor you and your wife pray and be friends with God you will be fine

I am sure u lack sweet love trust and empathy your wife was not dishing out while the side girl was.

Please forget the Side girl for Good.

It is well

[quote author=Babamide post=113209702]Wedding day chairman of the occasion. Hope you are still assisting her with monthly stipend and some other things.
In my own opinion, there is no end in sight for both of you. She just needs time and space to get married before she falls back into your loving arms.
How come your wife and kids didn't notice your divided attention? It is either your story never happened or your FG civil servant wife has her own side piece [/quote
Exactly!! Is it that for 2 years your wife and kids don't come visiting?
Hmmmmmmm

Yeye op

The op yeye no get mate, very foolish somebody

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

When couples are far apart.. this is inevitable if you like pray down fire!

But i know some Men. .. in similar situations that won't break there marital Vows..

Advice ..divert your affection and energy back to your own Family..

And Try fix your Home.. you are the Head of your family...

No advice for emotionally weak men like you

NLElder:
Get her pregnant? We are not visiting each other again. I have let her be It's just my obsessing about her left and which is what I need help about.

she gave you better cowgirl ba?