I don't really know @Op, but I can tell u are in a frustrating situation. However, don't take it too bad on ur father just like my guy then that even went to the extent of beating his father due to his bad character. U know what, the man cursed him to the extent he was to play for a very big football club in this country, but the curse really crippled him and now he z just managing life, though the father is dead now. I will advise u just focus on ur own future and amend things so ur children won't complain the way u are complaining now. No matter how bad ur father could be, the fact he is alive, u don't know what it means until u have issue with ur kinsmen.

Iamthoney:
Op is still a teenager with a warped brain. Funny how he won’t collect a dime from his mum cos she’s a teacher but expected his dad to give him money cos he earns more. If your dad can’t give you what stopped you from collecting from your mum so it can justify your reason of wanting to spoil her when you finally make it in life and punish your dad in the process? Stop with the double standard shhiit kid.



What made you think your dad will die before you so you can either allow his body to rot away in the morgue or have him buried in a shallow grave? Are you now the modern Nicodemus? Do you now hold knowledge of how the future will look like? What if you die before your wicked and deadbeat dad?

Better stop complaining and get busy with your life. There are cleaning jobs out there, there are tons of menial jobs you can do to fetch you some money out there so quit the self pity and get to work cos nobody owes you nothing in this life.

Allow your deadbeat dad to drink water abi na alcohol and keep cup jare e no easy to earn 500k and if your dad was busy complaining about his dad he won’t be earning such amount

May God bless you beyond limit, may whatever you lay your fhucking hands on be successful.


I’m so mad reading his posts.
He was busy praising his mom while cursing his own dad as if na him Dey take care of himself from childhood. As if the man never did good thing for him and the family before .. I know how painful it can be truthfully to be Abandoned my one’s parents in time of needs, but i can bet my two balls that him and his mom don’t have good relationship with the so call father. He’s been brainwashed by his mom!!!

How can the father be bad to all members of the family ? goes to show you the kind of relationship they have with him.
He’s even talking as if he’s sure not to die before the said father self.


See bro I used to hate my dad when I was younger, cos I was closer to my mom ( my dad worked in a contruction company back then) so we barely talked cos na once in a month or three months we Dey see.

My dad no Dey babysit person atall !


It’s now that I’m of age , that I started taking responsibilities na him I know wetin that man Dey face !!

I’m in no way praising or absolving his dad , but a good child will never wash His own parents outside like that. Atleast in my culture!!

DominionGreat:


You expect a 19year in this regime to pay his fees through medical school all by himself??
If you haven't nothing to say I'd advise you shut the f****k up

Quote me with manners man

VeryWickedMan:


It must fly o!

The two parents bleeped each other to bring the OP into this world. Don't tell me the woman had no plans of taking care of her own seed.

So with a father earning over half a million naira, the mother earning way less should sto be financially responsible for the boy? What exactly do you people want to useful for? Bond with your child, mba it is the duty of the mother. Oya bring money to train the child, you're still pushing it to the mother. What exactly do you people want to be useful for in the life of the child? Continue being useless, since you can conveniently blame the mother for your failure in parenting. Thank goodness the children of nowadays don't send anybody's father, including theirs

You created 5 post about romance and masturbation, You need to refocus on goals towards success. check out the skills you have,

learn new skills. check stuff u can do online to earn extra income. Taking care of the 30k debt, wont solve the issue. But your mind set,

and determination, getting your priority right. you need income and not stuff that takes away , the few you have.

VeryWickedMan:


Leave story & answer the question
You have such a great mom & you are still borrowing from loan apps but only your Dad is the problem.

very wicked man indeed i get you want to teach him negatively to his mom

Raspberries:
Bad advice... Africans are damaged thanks to this mentality...

You mustn't suffer to be responsible... Compare yourselves to your mates in the West...

Your independence was borne out of a need to survive... Your father messed you up... Cause his father treated him bad, he did the same to you? And you think that's normal?

Children should grow in a home with supportive parents who help them transition into adulthood... Not abandon them...

And the op mustn't reconcile with his father... If someone doesn't love you enough, then you let them go...

A father who watches his children suffer is irresponsible... There's no excuse or reason for his selfish actions...

There's nothiing particularly African about deadbeats. The West has a huge share of irresponsible parents, and can encourage independence from children even as young as 18, who are legally permitted to leave their parents' houses at that age.

While we hold no brief for irresponsible parents, having one gives one an opportunity to strive for independence, to work hard and make a means of livelihood early enough. There people holding their own financially who either had no parents or sponsors but looked beyond those challenges and used it as a fulcrum to aspire.

Drop the hate, (same for the OP) and focus on yourself. You owe your parents honour, no matter what. Soon enough you'd find out.

Cypress042:
I pity you op. Just use the sense that your God gave you and be important in life.

You're 19years old and still being entitled to your fathers money haba!

Young man, your father has really tried and trainned you up to this extend, is time to hustle and live like a man you should be.

Stop taking loans go and hustle

You guys just advice anyhow

Is he not a teen that can be helped even if he adds hustling to it?

Even people in their 30s will not say no if their parents gives to them and many are still living with parents.

We should be careful how we give advice.

At 19 would u want your child not to be entitled to your money?

Na WA for una

Instead of lamenting like a "church rat" as someone earlier said, find something tangible to do with your life.

No one owes you anything at this age, for God's sake you are almost 20!!! Look around you and see how many of your school mates have side hustle in school, so many of them.

The time you come here to open your mouth waaaaaaa to complain, you would have used it to do something sensible

As a lady, I started being independent and hardworking immediately after secondary school, at 15 without waiting for the peanut given to me by my parents. This helped me become wiser and more mature than my peers, alongside other opportunities professionally as I became older. I also at my free time learnt several skills.

At 19 and see the rubbish you're typing, I would have slapped you if you were my brother.

At least if you don't have much sense, don't you have people around you who can push you?

To avoid this kind of rubbish post coming from my brother, as soon as he was done with secondary school, up to anytime he has a break, I registered him in a female salon to learn anything learnable. When he went back to school he was fending for himself, coupled with the one his siblings and parents sent to him.

Ogbeni, better use this stupid strike and learn something meaningful for your life than blaming your father who never blamed his own father but hustled for himself.

You should get your hands dirty, go and carry cement and sand around your area for money. Go to a barbing salon to learn how to cut hair, this will be too helpful to you in school. Learn female makeup and hair too. There are a whole lot you can do. Learn computer repairs, phone repairs too. While in school help people out with assignments and projects for a fee, that's if you are not dumb or dull because from your post, e be like so
Until you get old, you would never ever understand

You think 500k is 100billion in your eyes, such a child!

Start fending for yourself and come back here to cough

Failure44:

I'll make that man suffer mehn, the amount of hatred I have for him is unmatched.

He'll suffer, when he dies, I'll bury him in a shallow grave or let him rotten in the mortuary

what if you die before him or not get rich or incapacitated during your struggle in life....

I guess you've seen your self as a rich already because you're now studying medicine....
The man who is still seeing you through school and you're planning all this evil awaiting his old age.
What are your plans for your mother when she grow old or is your father alone in the broken home?....
I guess you chose to side with your mum...why then are you complaining?.

Are you his only son?,and if not,don't think you can decide the fate of any man...

Pray you grow old and also achieve the things your father achieved in life...small boy....

[quote author=Failure44 post=114414249]I'm in pains and so annoyed.
I can't even boast of 10k in my account,
I'm crippled with debts on loan apps
This ASUU strike has only made my life worse.
The useless man I call a father that earns half a million monthly, spends It on drinking. I vow to make that man suffer at old age and to bury him in a shallow grave.
What did I do in my past life to be born into a broken home?
Where both parents are like cat and dog.
While my mates were learning yahoo, I was reading like a fool preparing for school.
Now I have secured the so called medicine but am suffering in silence while they're buying cars.

Do you know how painful it is to see the same people you were with now buying cars and using the latest phone?
How painful it is to see them spraying money in the club while you're borrowing money from loan apps?
How painful it is too them those you helped now snub your messages?

Now I understand why people commit suicide.

You're still very young you need not to treat him ill at old age, it's at this point you need to embrace Jesus the only way out...
Pray for your family especially your Dad
Did you know that your fathers Devil is your devil, you may not see it now....

Pray + fast = see the Lord Change your family gradually...
Selah......

BabbanBura:


Op, listen to these words of wisdom. Your life now and future is in your hands. The decisions you take now will make or mar you, so decide wisely.

Bitterness does harm to u more than it does to anyone else. So let off the excess toxic baggage, pick up courage, perseverance and determination to make it legitimately and surely there will be a way to sail through the rough seas to harbour!

You’re spot on bro. I greet you specially.!

I'm a bit confused here. Your dad pays your tuition to study medicine, right? You live in his house, where you eat daily, right. Now, you are currently not in school, due to strike.

What exactly are you doing with your time at home currently? Do you just sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, etc.?

You say you are a medical student. That means you have an above average intelligence. So, your mind should be thinking of creative ways to earn money, rather than waiting for your dad to give you pocket money while you are at home.

My suggestion to you is think of a skill you can learn, which you can use to earn money. It may cost money to learn this skill. Now go to your dad and present the proposal to him, so he can help you cover the cost. Remember, don't go to him with an entitlement mentality.

Forget whatever your mother told you about him. Talk to him man to man, albeit with respect. You will be surprised at the outcome. That's if he's truly your biological father.

Please ask God for forgiveness for the harsh comments you made toward your father. I realize you are frustrated and you are still very young and naive, but... not cool.

That is how your own children will watch you suffer too. What goes around, comes around man

I have a friend , he lost both his parents at age 17 or so.
This guy trained himself to have a skill, he trained himself to poly ( though with little support from his sisters), now he’s training himself at the university. I took my motivation from him .


Appreciate both of your parents while they’re alive!!
A time is coming you will have all the money you want, both they will be gone !!!!


Pray for them , take care of them. When they die, you won’t see dem no more ..




Establish a good relationship with your father , bond with him . Show him love and watch how he will open his hands to you ..

Cypress042:
I pity you op. Just use the sense that your God gave you and be important in life.

You're 19years old and still being entitled to your fathers money haba!

Young man, your father has really tried and trainned you up to this extend, is time to hustle and live like a man you should be.

Stop taking loans go and hustle

You are advising a 19 year old medicine student to go and hustle in this buhari regime where even a corper do not have any hope after nysc except riding okada?
You people should know Nigeria has destroyed the future of the youths already, this boy only has a secondary problem of a broken home.
You should be thinking of how the secondary problem can be solved first instead of talking about the common primary problem which is caused by the government especially the buhari factor

The moniker says it all..

Paxlovid:
I'm a bit confused here. Your dad pays your tuition to study medicine, right? You live in his house, where you eat daily, right. Now, you are currently not in school, due to strike.

What exactly are you doing with your time at home currently? Do you just sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, etc.

You say you are a medical student. That means you have an above average intelligence. So, your mind should be thinking of creative ways to earn money, rather than waiting for your dad to give you pocket money while you are at home.

My suggestion to you is think of a skill you can learn, which you can use to earn money. It may cost money to learn this skill. Now go to your dad and present the proposal to him, so he can help you cover the cost. Remember, don't go to him with an entitlement mentality.

Forget whatever your mother told you about him. Talk to him man to man, albeit with respect. You will be surprised at the outcome. That's if he's truly your biological father.

Please ask God for forgiveness for the harsh comments you made toward your father. I realize you are frustrated and you are still very young and naive, but... not cool.

God bless you brother. Thank God people still get sense for this nairaland .

Failure44:
I'm in pains and so annoyed.
I can't even boast of 10k in my account,
I'm crippled with debts on loan apps
This ASUU strike has only made my life worse.
The useless man I call a father that earns half a million monthly, spends It on drinking. I vow to make that man suffer at old age and to bury him in a shallow grave.
What did I do in my past life to be born into a broken home?
Where both parents are like cat and dog.
While my mates were learning yahoo, I was reading like a fool preparing for school.
Now I have secured the so called medicine but am suffering in silence while they're buying cars.

Do you know how painful it is to see the same people you were with now buying cars and using the latest phone?
How painful it is to see them spraying money in the club while you're borrowing money from loan apps?
How painful it is too them those you helped now snub your messages?

Now I understand why people commit suicide

oga give your life to Christ. Everything you typed is gibberish

You are 19 and ASSU Is on strike ,during the period you have been on strike you couldn't look for a job or learn a tech skill online,there are alot of free online learning program.yet you can come here to type you hate your dad and not your mum, Pele oooo haters association member.

Fashdeejay:


The mistake being made with this line of reasoning is that you hatred doesn't stop the man from doing what he wants to do, but it limits you from reaching your potential because you are too distracted with hating your father for something he is doing when you can let the hatred go and focus on yourself.
My father eventually understood his mistakes at the end but it was a little bit late to start rectifying most because he had missed out on the time.... But he passed on a happy man with his children around him... That brought me peace. The African mentality as you put it isn't damaged... I will clearly tell you this as someone who has spent time living in the US and in Nigeria, we are better off when it comes to our mentality.... You think the whites don feel entitled? People will mess up and that is only natural, no matter the skin color, no matter their position in your life, even you will mess up when you have your own children, the major thing is being able to accept that you have messed up and you are ready to make amends. Hatred doesn't affect anyone else but the person who is doing the hating... It limits them...
No matter how bad a father is ..... His blood is your blood and if you want to go western about it, then understand the concept of "blood is thicker than water"... My independence was borne out of my drive to do better and be better.... That didn't change his title over me... My father! I picked the aspects of him that made him special and worked on myself not to be like him the way he wasn't.
If the OP is focused on hating rather than doing better he will only end up like his father... So my 2 cents? Let him work toward being better ..... And learn to live and let live.

Respect!

Raspberries:
My dad makes solid cash... But he's never given me a dime...

Douchbag... When he's old he expects I would forgive him... I wish he were dead...

Even hell wouldn't take him..

another mumu.

My initial thought was not to comment but I have to just say my mind.

At 19, I was displaced due to the Liberia war. My parent lost everything, we have to return to the Village to stay with our grandmother while our parent stayed back. My life struggle started in 1990 without any assistance, the only assistance I got was from my uncle who came to check on us from Benin was the #20 Naira he gave me when he was leaving.

At 19, your father has tried and it is about time you carry your cross and leave your Dad alone. Your father did not go into drinking because for pleasure but I believe it was as a result of frustration or inner pain.

I will advise you to follow the path of learning a career trade, I learned several in the past that I now settle with one that is footing my bills.

From your narrative, you are rude to your father and don't respect him. Things will change if you start giving him the respect and love he needs. Here you are planning to make sure your father suffers at old age, shame on you. Remember the bible said, "Respect your father and mother so that your day will be long".

You see your mates buying cars, spending money at the club with the finest girl and you ask yourself "Why not me". Why don't you wish to be your friend that are dead also?

When you walk in your father's shoes for just a week, you will know your father cries is the rain, but you never saw his tears.

Failure44:

I'll make that man suffer mehn, the amount of hatred I have for him is unmatched.

He'll suffer, when he dies, I'll bury him in a shallow grave or let him rotten in the mortuary

J
How on earth a child is cursing he that begotten him! This is where your problems start from.No matter the sins of your father, cursing him,and railing evil on him should be avoided,so that God will fight for you.Here on this platform, we have people whose cases are worsted than your own yet,they received counsel and it became well with them.First ask God to forgive you and take your case to Almighty.God.

Failure44:


I'll understand the reason why he did it?
How do you understand your father beating your mother countless times in front of you?
Or trying to kill you and your brothers?
Or breaking house properties
Or threatening not to pay my school fees?
Or embarrassing the family name?

See, I'll work hard to better myself and become a great father for my kids( that's if I get married)
But i swear on my life, that man will see hell from my hand.

If you think mikel did his father badly, that man hasn't seen anything.
A shallow grave is where he'll land

why is your father behaving like that?

Does he have another woman outside?

Failure44:
I'm in pains and so annoyed.
I can't even boast of 10k in my account,
I'm crippled with debts on loan apps
This ASUU strike has only made my life worse.
The useless man I call a father that earns half a million monthly, spends It on drinking. I vow to make that man suffer at old age and to bury him in a shallow grave.
What did I do in my past life to be born into a broken home?
Where both parents are like cat and dog.
While my mates were learning yahoo, I was reading like a fool preparing for school.
Now I have secured the so called medicine but am suffering in silence while they're buying cars.

Do you know how painful it is to see the same people you were with now buying cars and using the latest phone?
How painful it is to see them spraying money in the club while you're borrowing money from loan apps?
How painful it is too them those you helped now snub your messages?

Now I understand why people commit suicide

You are a senseless person

femicyrus:

You are advising a 19 year old medicine student to go and hustle in this buhari regime where even a corper do not have any hope after nysc except riding okada?
You people should know Nigeria has destroyed the future of the youths already, this boy only has a secondary problem of a broken home.
You should be thinking of how the secondary problem can be solved first instead of talking about the common primary problem which is caused by the government especially the buhari factor

Did you also read where was wishing his own father death

Fashdeejay:


No matter what your father does, you are a product of his sperm upgraded. Focus the energy you are using to hate to become better than he is.... I do not support any father no being a good father but you'll realize more when you are old enough, you'll understand the reason why he is like this.... My dad once said to me and I quote him 'my father didnt do it for me, so why should I do it for you?' .... I became independent from my early teens, working and hustling, my mom tried her best and supported me with prayers.... But one thing I did was take care of them both.... Irrespective of the pain my dad put me through, I spent on him well before he died and he was appreciative of it. Don't be like your father.... Let the hate dissipate and love him irrespective and instead of burning all that energy hating, channel it into making your own greatness ..... The true victory in such battles is when you show him you are better by having him learn from you... Sometimes na bad situation dey jingah growth....

God bless you

Failure44:
I'm in pains and so annoyed.
I can't even boast of 10k in my account,
I'm crippled with debts on loan apps
This ASUU strike has only made my life worse.
The useless man I call a father that earns half a million monthly, spends It on drinking. I vow to make that man suffer at old age and to bury him in a shallow grave.
What did I do in my past life to be born into a broken home?
Where both parents are like cat and dog.
While my mates were learning yahoo, I was reading like a fool preparing for school.
Now I have secured the so called medicine but am suffering in silence while they're buying cars.

Do you know how painful it is to see the same people you were with now buying cars and using the latest phone?
How painful it is to see them spraying money in the club while you're borrowing money from loan apps?
How painful it is too them those you helped now snub your messages?

Now I understand why people commit suicide

how sure are you that you father would die before you?

Failure44:
I'm in pains and so annoyed.
I can't even boast of 10k in my account,
I'm crippled with debts on loan apps
This ASUU strike has only made my life worse.
The useless man I call a father that earns half a million monthly, spends It on drinking. I vow to make that man suffer at old age and to bury him in a shallow grave.
What did I do in my past life to be born into a broken home?
Where both parents are like cat and dog.
While my mates were learning yahoo, I was reading like a fool preparing for school.
Now I have secured the so called medicine but am suffering in silence while they're buying cars.

Do you know how painful it is to see the same people you were with now buying cars and using the latest phone?
How painful it is to see them spraying money in the club while you're borrowing money from loan apps?
How painful it is too them those you helped now snub your messages?

Now I understand why people commit suicide

So life is about buying cars and the latest phones? You are a child. Grow up!
God promised long life to those who honour their parents. You are already sowing a seed for a short and frustrated life.

OP, you're the son of your father, a true replica of your father. You portrayed your father here as a bitter wicked man and you his son are gradually growing into a bitter man who hates and will show no kindness to your own old father. Your children will grow to watch how deal with your old father and decide to revenge on you too. Probably your father is also reacting to events surrounding his upbringing too. Maybe it's a cycle you need to break. It's your choice. Love attracts love. First, you have to let go of self sympathy. Truth is that your situation is not the worst.

At 19, you're young but still big enough to help mend your family. You can also choose not to and take sides. You can summon courage chat issues up with your dad boldly, politely and respectfully. Beyond events of the past, try be his pal. He's human and would sure think twice.
They way you feel about your dad now is probably making you disrespectful to him knowingly/unknowingly and no father likes a disrespectful child.
I think you have the key.

it is better you Pray to God about it than hating your father.
If you are comparing yourself with your friends that where you got it wrong.
Be grateful to your dad for once Who paid your fees from primary school till now.
Remember you are a potential father go to your father as a son not as competitor
Stop that habit of collecting loan instead go and hustle and God will bless your hustling.