This is for the married men out there 

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Am a woman but I think I can answer this. Like it hate it, his mom comes first there is no basis for comparism: this is his first true unconditional love, his biggest fan, and his defender. She has always been der for him in good times and in bad, so it will be silly for any woman to attempt to compete, you are different his mom is different. The best and easiet way to get ur husband in ur palms is by loving his mom

Debrief, u took the words right out of my mouth. Love his mum and he will be your number one fan.

Who comes first where 

Whats up with this competition and Comparison?A man is born to enjoy his mothers love,blessed to find a good wife to share love with.QED

Btw,I hope it wud still be same,nice and cool when a wife chooses the father as opposed to the husband abi as usual our double standards applies?The  best and easiest way to get a woman is 

O ma se oh

What a silly question ! You only get one Mother and no one can replace ever her  unconditional love and care  even  Dad
You can replace your wife as much as you like but not your Mother
So I would say Mother comes First Second and Third

Am imagining someone asking my son( my munchkin, paramour, heartthrob, little love) who comes first, his mother or his wife?, infact!!!! the anwer he will give the woman will never end,

Siena:

My wife comes first.

Seriously ? Why is it the reverse the case with you?

I am just wondering because I sort of assumed a lot of the male folk here would say their mothers and have good reasons for it too, like some have done

Araboy:

What a silly question ! You only get one Mother and no one can replace ever her  unconditional love and care  even  Dad
You can replace your wife as much as you like but not your Mother
So I would say Mother comes First Second and Third

GBAM.

"Any how monkey ugly reach, im mama like am". That's how to describe the unconditional love of a mother, for the women who would say why choose your mother, when you become a mother, pack your pikin sh-it, treat am when im sick and feed am to fine well well, come get money, you go curse am if im put you after im wife.

This is one of the questions I will never give an answer to.

Because some may not be able to handle the truth

Do you live with your Mother or Wife?

If you want a stress free life, it's wife first. Trust me, been there, done that.

..

This same matter again? My husband comes first. I come first. Infact we are inseparable because we are one So before he can reach mama he has to get me off his skin first.

We both have different roles to play in his life. I share one of the most intimate moments with him.

Araboy:

What a silly question ! You only get one Mother and no one can replace ever her  unconditional love and care  even  Dad
You can replace your wife as much as you like but not your Mother
So I would say Mother comes First Second and Third

You might not be able to replace your mother but your wife can give you love, care and affection just exactly like a good mother will do to his son, and moreover not all mothers are good mothers and not all wives are good wives. There are horrible and self centered ones depending oh how unlucky you are. If I were to choose I will surely choose my wife, not that I did not love my mother or vice versa but sometimes there is a space in the heart of man that a mother love can never occupied. Further more the Bible says in Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh. A man need to hold tight to his mother but needs to hold tighter to his wife. And mind you, you can not replace a good wife because there aren't much good ones out there.

Just like asking me who comes first Daddy or Hubby, Hubby knows I love him die but what me and ma Dad have gone tru hmmm. I am d last of 7 girls, since ma dad couldn't ve a boy I became a defacto boy. I spent more hours as a child watching news and footie than I did in d kitchen. Growing up, me ma dad and ma ex husband were like d 3 musketeers. Daddy took us everywhere, ma exes dad was not a family man so dad became like a dad to him. He took us to play golf, learn polo and hang out with the boys. My Dad will stop at ma exes house before coming home and pick him so we could all hang out. My Dad is old school, funny and gentle, he makes everyone feel at home. Ma ex and ma dad were so close until ma ex started becoming successful and his own father started noticing him as they statrted hanging out he learnt vices which ma dad didn't teach him, drinking smoking and sleeping with strange women and beating women. Ma Dad cried when my ex started beating me cos he was caught in d middle. When I decided to walk away it was ma dad who stood by me when even ma sisters would not talk to me cos dey didn't wanna hear d word divorce, they believed he would change, ma dad again came to ma rescue he met my sisyers point by point told them in dis case nuture has clearly overshadowed nuture, when they brought up d arugement of me soiling the family name he asked dem who built the name? After ma divorce, he gave me money to rent a place so I won't be ridiculed by ma peers at home, he was d one who I would call at 12midnight when I couldn't sleep, he is d one who would always find a reason to come check up on me cos I was like a leper friends and family wouldn't talk to me. Ma friends husbands didn't want their wives minhling with a divorcee some of ma family members strongly believed that divorce was a sin and assiciating with me the sinner would lead them to hell. Who was der with me in the midst of the worst 2 years of ma life? Daddy, he will come to see me every valentine, every birthday, take me out buy me gifts, hang out with me, protect me, defend me and love me unconditionally. My Dad still loves ma ex and treats him like a son, when ma ex gets sober sometimes its ma dad he goes and cries too. God bless Daddies abeg, where would I be without ma own?

God bless you waladis. Spot on

My mum is my world,her love saw me through for my wife to see the potential in me.

If you say your mum, you have totally missed the concept of marriage. Better remain unmarried and stop looking for a professional housegirl you want to call wife.

^^Lol no mind them, except one's spouse is a a complete douchebag I don't know how someone will choose and extended family over immediate. I love my parents to death but they no matter how much they have done for me, they could not fill the void my hubby's filled. This is a man whose blood flows through the veins of my kids, I left my parents house to be with him and cling to him. I changed my last name to his. If my parents were the most important I would have continued living with them forever .

Truth is our spouses do things to and with us that no father or mother can do,

I guess I have the weirdest of all parents. During one of the ''traditional'' pre-marriage sessions I had with them, there was something they both told me. My dad told me that every man that treats his wife with love and respect, deserve to be her number one. . . . . '' and if this man in the nearest future treats you like the princess you are, please see him as your pillar and the reason for your happiness. Make him your number 1 and also worship the ground he steps on''. . . . That was my dad's advise. . . . .'' the only thing your husband cannot do that I did was bring you into this world, but believe me, he can be the mother, the father, the lover, the  brother and the sister  you need, that's what makes him special and that's the reason why God has given you him''. . . . .  That was my mum's own version.

when I am all worked up and stressed, my hubby is the first person I call, my parents- I don't inform .

I see my parents once, twice or thrice a year but this dude I see everyday. Lets face it,we both have become one. Not my word but God's.

//
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chaircover:


. . . . . . . . totally different relationships that cannot be compared.

GBAM! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I think the problem arises when there is a conflictr of interest between mother and wife. One should make the right decision by determining whose "jurisdiction" the matter falls under. For example, you want to move house, or choose a school for your kids, and your mum and wife totally disagree on which house or which school to choose. These two subjects are your wife's jurisdiction because she is the homemaker for your house and the mother of those children. Therefore your wife's preference should prevail.

But let's take another scenario, lets say your mum is lookinmg for a retirement vocation to keep her busy, and your wife disagrees with her choice, maybe on grounds of cost, etc. This pertains to your mum's life and as such her choice should prevail, depending on if you can afford it.

Simple.

But generally these are two DIFFEREN\T relationships that should not be in competition with one another. For fcuks sake, your mum can't hammer you in bed, nor can your wife give birth to you.

Gray Beard:

I think the problem arises when there is a conflict of interest between mother and wife.

@ Gray Beard: I do not agree that a conflict of interest has to arise before a man finds himself in a situation where he needs to decide between his mother and wife. Check this scenario out. A man receives the news that his mother and wife were both involved in a motor accident. They were hospitalised in two different hospitals which are two miles away from him and they were both in a critical condition. Who do you think that the man should visit first?

waladis:


@ Gray Beard: I do not agree that a conflict of interest has to arise before a man finds himself in a situation where he needs to decide between his mother and wife. Check this scenario out. A man receives the news that his mother and wife were both involved in a motor accident. They were hospitalised in two different hospitals which are two miles away from him and they were both in a critical condition. Who do you think that the man should visit first?

sincerely wife first,

Gray Beard:

I think the problem arises when there is a conflictr of interest between mother and wife. One should make the right decision by determining whose "jurisdiction" the matter falls under. For example, you want to move house, or choose a school for your kids, and your mum and wife totally disagree on which house or which school to choose. These two subjects are your wife's jurisdiction because she is the homemaker for your house and the mother of those children. Therefore your wife's preference should prevail.

Lol, in the first place why would the mum be consulted on what school the kids should attend, unless she's a headmistress, lol?

@sexskill, you said it all. thump up for you. any person with contrary view to your opinion need some growing up to do.
GBAM

debrief08: Just like asking me who comes first Daddy or Hubby, Hubby knows I love him die but what me and ma Dad have gone tru hmmm. I am d last of 7 girls, since ma dad couldn't ve a boy I became a defacto boy. I spent more hours as a child watching news and footie than I did in d kitchen. Growing up, me ma dad and ma ex husband were like d 3 musketeers. Daddy took us everywhere, ma exes dad was not a family man so dad became like a dad to him. He took us to play golf, learn polo and hang out with the boys. My Dad will stop at ma exes house before coming home and pick him so we could all hang out. My Dad is old school, funny and gentle, he makes everyone feel at home. Ma ex and ma dad were so close until ma ex started becoming successful and his own father started noticing him as they statrted hanging out he learnt vices which ma dad didn't teach him, drinking smoking and sleeping with strange women and beating women. Ma Dad cried when my ex started beating me cos he was caught in d middle. When I decided to walk away it was ma dad who stood by me when even ma sisters would not talk to me cos dey didn't wanna hear d word divorce, they believed he would change, ma dad again came to ma rescue he met my sisyers point by point told them in dis case nuture has clearly overshadowed nuture, when they brought up d arugement of me soiling the family name he asked dem who built the name?
























After ma divorce, he gave me money to rent a place so I won't be ridiculed by ma peers at home, he was d one who I would call at 12midnight when I couldn't sleep, he is d one who would always find a reason to come check up on me cos I was like a leper friends and family wouldn't talk to me. Ma friends husbands didn't want their wives minhling with a divorcee some of ma family members strongly believed that divorce was a sin and assiciating with me the sinner would lead them to hell. Who was der with me in the midst of the worst 2 years of ma life? Daddy, he will come to see me every valentine, every birthday, take me out buy me gifts, hang out with me, protect me, defend me and love me unconditionally. My Dad still loves ma ex and treats him like a son, when ma ex gets sober sometimes its ma dad he goes and cries too. God bless Daddies abeg, where would I be without ma own?

Your story made me cry,so touching,i wish u all d best in live and pray things work out again between ur ex husband and u,cos from ur story,he seems like a good person who is being manipulated,by his father