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My Ex Wants A Child With Me. - Romance - Nairaland

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My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 11:29pm On Oct 29, 2022
Greetings guys, it's a long read pls.
I met this girl during my sec school, we went to same school, also lived in same estate and we became friends, Her mum is French and couldn't speak fluent English, my mom is Ivorian also speaks French both married to Nigerians so I think it made it easier for our Moms to relate very well.
Later on, we got into a relationship but unfortunately I had to end everything back then because she was too pretty and also needed to focus on myself since I was leaving my parents to go live with a relative in my home state and also school there. When I started making little cash on my own, I saw the need to have someone I'll grow in love with and that's how I met my current girlfriend. She's nice, religious and very respectful from a well to do home, we've been together for like 4yrs now.
So like 3 yrs ago when my dad fell sick, I had to go see him and I noticed my ex and her family no longer lives in that estate again and I didn't bother asking my Mom anything. That week of my return we received some visitors and surprisingly it was my ex and her family, my Mom told me since my dad's illness they've made a routine to come see him every month. Honestly she got very much prettier, she didn't want to have anything to do with me initially but we got along, she started coming to my house very often while I was around and we had s*x for the first time.
I traveled back to school and we've in touch, she always checks up on me regularly and I wasn't feeling my own girlfriend again. After my IT last year, I was to resume for my finals but because of the strike I came back to my family, now this is when things got serious with my ex, she was allover even tho I made known to her I'm now in a relationship but she didn't relent, there's a way she relates with my Mom now that I don't even understand again.
My dad's illness got worse and I had to be staying with him at the hospital, she schools in a private Uni here in Abuja but she'll always drive from school to the hospital, this act made me very fond of her and I started to like her again. All these things was affecting my relationship and I didn't mind, one day my girlfriend called me sobbing, asking me if she wronged me, I felt really bad and tried my best to make it up to her.
After my dad's death, my ex was still there for me, truth is this girl can care I won't lie. She made sure I was very much alright. Earlier this year, my ex said something about having a kid with me but I thought it was one of her silly Jokes and I laughed it off, said she knows I don't love her even though she told her Mom we're dating but I should please grant her request that I don't need to take care of the kid if I don't want to, I think she's very serious and I don't know her plan with that.
To be honest, it's something I would like to do, afterall she's beautiful, mixed race and looking out for the kid can never be my problem but I've had a rethink considering my relationship, it'll scatter everything. I purposely made a joke to my girlfriend about me having a kid and seriously her reaction isn't what I'll like to face, my ex came visiting me to talk about this cos I'll be leaving for school soon and I don't think I'll be back till she leaves the country for her master's.
Guys I'm very confused, I don't even know again because this should be the very least of what should be bothering me at this moment.
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by rickleye: 11:55pm On Oct 29, 2022
Don’t play God.
How can you know you have a child with someone and you won’t provide financially or be present but consciously just ignore your parental right when both of you are fine emotionally.
If you’re donating your sperm and she doing artificial insermination maybe but you both doing it the traditional way . Meh �

7 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 12:08am On Oct 30, 2022
rickleye:
Don’t play God.
How can you know you have a child with someone and you won’t provide financially or be present but consciously just ignore your parental right when both of you are fine emotionally.
If you’re donating your sperm and she doing artificial insermination maybe but you both doing it the traditional way . Meh �
I stated that taking care of the child financially myself can never be the problem. Even if I can't do it she can all by herself but it's not something I'll allow.

3 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by iksman2002(m): 12:12am On Oct 30, 2022
Someone's about to get trapped with Delilah grin

4 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by rickleye: 12:18am On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:

I stated that taking care of the child financially myself can never be the problem. Even if I can't do it she can all by herself but it's not something I'll allow.

Sorry missed that part . Nonetheless . Your choice though .
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Goldbw122(m): 12:22am On Oct 30, 2022
It will hurt you in the future.. not now, so think wisely.

4 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by ThinkSmarter: 12:27am On Oct 30, 2022
My dear, follow your instincts.
Life is a play.
And nothing is new under the sun.
U re now reconnected to ur youthful crush, that is beautiful and compassionate towards u and ur family.
U have obviously tasted her glory hole.
Maybe, u can continue fvcking her for couple of time to enable the new rush of dopamine settle down.
Then, u will know whom to choose btw her and ur gf.
Don't be afraid to break womens heart when ur personal interests is under threat, else they will manipulate u into doing their bidding like marriage.
What national interest is to a country is what ur personal interest is to you.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 12:40am On Oct 30, 2022
ThinkSmarter:
My dear, follow your instincts.
Life is a play.
And nothing is new under the sun.
U re now reconnected to ur youthful crush, that is beautiful and compassionate towards u and ur family.
U have obviously tasted her glory hole.
Maybe, u can continue fvcking her for couple of time to enable the new rush of dopamine settle down.
Then, u will know whom to choose btw her and ur gf.
Don't be afraid to break womens heart when ur personal interests is under threat, else they will manipulate u into doing their bidding like marriage.
What national interest is to a country is what ur personal interest is to you.

Truth is I'm scared, my Mom and her family will push for marriage once she gets pregnant for me, something I don't want. I told her my mind about that but she argued that it won't happen lol.
Bu the way, I like how well you articulated your words.

2 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 12:44am On Oct 30, 2022
Goldbw122:
It will hurt you in the future.. not now, so think wisely.
Maybe, cos I just can't imagine being a father already before 23.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by dontrulee: 1:14am On Oct 30, 2022
You're still young Op. Don't give in to it. What will the future consequences be like?

Many ladies including my exes want or desire to have my child but I'll never allow it. Even if you're capable of taking care of the child, what will the fate of the child be? From your write-up, you don't intend to marry your ex, so why get her pregnant?

You should know that when a lady desires to get pregnant for a man, she is playing a subtle manipulation game that attempts to remotely control the man? Although many ladies are not even aware of the game that's why it leads to failure and many of them end up as single mothers.

Bleep and move on or bleep and deposit and give birth. It's your choice, your body anyways. Enjoy!

6 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Gentlechika(m): 5:28am On Oct 30, 2022
Slow and steady you just want to ruin your life, continue. Sense go reach everybody either the hard way, or we learn from peoples experience.
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by IamtheTruth1(m): 5:38am On Oct 30, 2022
Lol! The thing no let you sleep.

Nonetheless, why would intentionally Wana have a baby with a lady you don't Wana settle with?

You being Financially able is not the problem. Would you be there for that child?

Let me guess, after you get your ex pregnant, you will marry your current gf?
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by koladata(m): 5:38am On Oct 30, 2022
talk to your main girlfriend about it, if she approves it , or if you can persuade her to approve it, then read about polygamy. it works for some people while it doesn't work for some.
[quote author=Cooolme post=117978998][/quote]

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Johnsown1(m): 6:43am On Oct 30, 2022
I would advice you to focus on your studies and getting a life rather than getting a lady pregnant out of pity or out of plea since you don't wish to end up with her as your wife. Once you got her pregnant just forget about the other girl because both your mum and everyone will judge according to this action. Getting a girlfriend pregnant is not the issue but will you be available for her emotional and psychological needs but if you wish to end up with her then give in to her demands
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by ThinkSmarter: 6:56am On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:


Truth is I'm scared, my Mom and her family will push for marriage once she gets pregnant for me, something I don't want. I told her my mind about that but she argued that it won't happen lol.
Bu the way, I like how well you articulated your words.
Tnx for the complement.
Like I always say, your instincts got the right answer for you.
Give her the seed if she insists and tell her that u re not interested in drama.
Always tell a woman that wants ur seed that u re not ready for marriage so as to be properly guided in her desperate and manipulation games.
You will always remind her that u foresee the situation and that u warned her.
I will personally refuse to ejaculate inside a woman below 24years cuz the society classified them as vulnerable.
But if she is 24 and above and get pregnant, people will be convinced that she really wanted to...
It is a very dirty and risky game.
Weigh the cons and pros before agreeing to play.
And always support ur baby mama even if she was the one that decided to be a single mum.
We were animals before humans.
Women are evolutionary compelled to part their glory hole to receive a seed from a perceived attractive man.
Don't be surprised that same lady that is ready to receive your seeds is denying many other men a kiss.
Evolution and natural selection is the major influencer.

4 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Honchoslim16(m): 7:03am On Oct 30, 2022
Don't let no b!t¢h play you...be a hunnid step ahead!

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by ALLNIGERIANSMAD(m): 7:28am On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:

I stated that taking care of the child financially myself can never be the problem. Even if I can't do it she can all by herself but it's not something I'll allow.
you already captured with a demon. After the child, the real horror will surface/ madira oooooh! Because iku maa pae
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 7:40am On Oct 30, 2022
ThinkSmarter:
Tnx for the complement.
Like I always say, your instincts got the right answer for you.
Give her the seed if she insists and tell her that u re not interested in drama.
Always tell a woman that wants ur seed that u re not ready for marriage so as to be properly guided in her desperate and manipulation games.
You will always remind her that u foresee the situation and that u warned her.
I will personally refuse to ejaculate inside a woman below 24years cuz the society classified them as vulnerable.
But if she is 24 and above and get pregnant, people will be convinced that she really wanted to...
It is a very dirty and risky game.
Weigh the cons and pros before agreeing to play.
And always support ur baby mama even if she was the one that decided to be a single mum.
We were animals before humans.
Women are evolutionary compelled to part their glory hole to receive a seed from a perceived attractive man.
Don't be surprised that same lady that is ready to receive your seeds is denying many other men a kiss.
Evolution and natural selection is the major influencer.
For real, my sis goes out with her and she tells me how men troop on this girl but I don't know why even at that, she has so much interest in me. Like even after this many years, I met her virgin.
Well, I don't think I'll give in. I'm not even bold enough to tell her I don't want lol.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Cooolme: 7:53am On Oct 30, 2022
IamtheTruth1:
Lol! The thing no let you sleep.

Nonetheless, why would intentionally Wana have a baby with a lady you don't Wana settle with?

You being Financially able is not the problem. Would you be there for that child?

Let me guess, after you get your ex pregnant, you will marry your current gf?
If it'll work, but I don't think it'll work that way cos my current GF will never agree. I've even tried to convince her that there's no issue with a man having a kid before marriage but she say she has her reasons and won't accept such lol. This issue is the only prolonged argument I've ever had with my girlfriend, definitely means she's against it.
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Ineedhustle247: 8:01am On Oct 30, 2022
Na ppl like una de scatter the small percentage of our girls way still good.

OP abeg pass me your gefren number

You and your ex fit continue with disturbance again.

Babe no do you anything

You no allow her make other men fit see road with am

You want to add baby mama abi
Bros take it from me way get, they can frustrate your life...
It's not worth it

Focus on the gefren or pass me her connect
I dey Abuja too.

Stop wasting a good girl

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Nobody: 8:04am On Oct 30, 2022
I understand the feeling she's having, there's some women that once i meet them, u desperately want them to bear ur child, d thought of dem having ur child in their womb is orgasmic

But there again, any woman that wants to bear ur seeds that u fancy u should go for it, but I also understand u re not capable to be a father now and can't handle d responsibilities, then decline d offer why leaving it open that it may occur smtym in d future
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Nobody: 8:11am On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:

For real, my sis goes out with her and she tells me how men troop on this girl but I don't know why even at that, she has so much interest in me. Like even after his many years, I met her virgin .
Well, I don't think I'll give in. I'm not even bold enough to tell her I don't want lol.
Are u serious... But why don't u like her enough to wife her? At least u know her for who she is?
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by lanre9ja(m): 8:30am On Oct 30, 2022
My peace of advice to u is that, since she's going out of the country very soon for her master's just give it to her cuz the thought of her not be able to see u for a very long can create a line in her heart. Since she's in love with u please grant her wish with your stated condition. It might be a blessing to ur family...
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Mercury12(m): 9:40am On Oct 30, 2022
DJ khale
Another one cheesy.
Nairaland will not Finnish us with weird stories
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by gaby(m): 10:15am On Oct 30, 2022
Good luck making an "ex child" with your ex...
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Eastcoastboy(m): 10:26am On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:

Maybe, cos I just can't imagine being a father already before 23.

I wish I have advice for you but I'm of the same age with you. So I might not be in the right position to advice you.

But if you care; I would say you query her. Why does she want to get a baby when she's intending to go abroad for her Masters. I don't think it's logical considering how stressful it will be to take care of a baby and study at the same time.

Except if she truly just want to have a baby and live her life not bothering about getting married, as they do abroad.

Or she might want to use it to tie you later on when she's ready to settle down after studies.

As for you mehn! I feel you shouldn't do it. If you rate her enough to bear your future child then marry her.

Bros wetin i want to know is; what's giving you money in school. Please help a G like you.

3 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by SirJerrie(m): 11:38am On Oct 30, 2022
Young People be thinking with their D1ck this days.

If you're not ready to settle down, Why consider having a kid with somebody you're not sure you really want to spend the rest of your life with?


Don't you other goals to pursue?

Oga leave woman develope your lself now you're in your prime..
When the time comes, you'll have kids as much as you want!!!
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Badb0y4lyf(m): 11:39am On Oct 30, 2022
She is beautiful you met her a virgin, she cares your parent approves of you guys she is well to do. she ticks all the Boxes. I rather settle with your Ex and let your current Gf go. Sacrifices have to be made I’m sure you will have a happy life with your EX and looking back there will be no regrets.
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by 2ndchildhood(m): 11:44am On Oct 30, 2022
If the case is just to get a child with you without trapping you into marrying her, e no go too bad fa. ..
Getting a child (like two) and fvkng forget about that shiii called marriage is what I have always wish for.. at least for now..

1 Like

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by AndroBlaze: 12:03pm On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:
Greetings guys, it's a long read pls.
I met this girl during my sec school, we went to same school, also lived in same estate and we became friends, Her mum is French and couldn't speak fluent English, my mom is Ivorian also speaks French both married to Nigerians so I think it made it easier for our Moms to relate very well.
Later on, we got into a relationship but unfortunately I had to end everything back then because she was too pretty and also needed to focus on myself since I was leaving my parents to go live with a relative in my home state and also school there. When I started making little cash on my own, I saw the need to have someone I'll grow in love with and that's how I met my current girlfriend. She's nice, religious and very respectful from a well to do home, we've been together for like 4yrs now.
So like 3 yrs ago when my dad fell sick, I had to go see him and I noticed my ex and her family no longer lives in that estate again and I didn't bother asking my Mom anything. That week of my return we received some visitors and surprisingly it was my ex and her family, my Mom told me since my dad's illness they've made a routine to come see him every month. Honestly she got very much prettier, she didn't want to have anything to do with me initially but we got along, she started coming to my house very often while I was around and we had s*x for the first time.
I traveled back to school and we've in touch, she always checks up on me regularly and I wasn't feeling my own girlfriend again. After my IT last year, I was to resume for my finals but because of the strike I came back to my family, now this is when things got serious with my ex, she was allover even tho I made known to her I'm now in a relationship but she didn't relent, there's a way she relates with my Mom now that I don't even understand again.
My dad's illness got worse and I had to be staying with him at the hospital, she schools in a private Uni here in Abuja but she'll always drive from school to the hospital, this act made me very fond of her and I started to like her again. All these things was affecting my relationship and I didn't mind, one day my girlfriend called me sobbing, asking me if she wronged me, I felt really bad and tried my best to make it up to her.
After my dad's death, my ex was still there for me, truth is this girl can care I won't lie. She made sure I was very much alright. Earlier this year, my ex said something about having a kid with me but I thought it was one of her silly Jokes and I laughed it off, said she knows I don't love her even though she told her Mom we're dating but I should please grant her request that I don't need to take care of the kid if I don't want to, I think she's very serious and I don't know her plan with that.
To be honest, it's something I would like to do, afterall she's beautiful, mixed race and looking out for the kid can never be my problem but I've had a rethink considering my relationship, it'll scatter everything. I purposely made a joke to my girlfriend about me having a kid and seriously her reaction isn't what I'll like to face, my ex came visiting me to talk about this cos I'll be leaving for school soon and I don't think I'll be back till she leaves the country for her master's.
Guys I'm very confused, I don't even know again because this should be the very least of what should be bothering me at this moment.

@OP, I only have one thing to say to you.

Clearly from your writeup, you came from a family built by love, a mother and a father, whom you seemed close to. The death of your father and the impact it had on you also confirms this. Part of the reason you seem to be a good human being is because of the family you came from and the love that surrounds you.

Why deny another human being (your proposed seed), the same love, comfort and security? At 23 you should be old enough to know money cannot buy everything and is not everything. Neither does the proposed beauty of the child solve or mean everything, unless you would be with your ex, who you clearly seem to think is more beautiful than your current girlfriend.

The truth is you are young, thats why you are being enticed this way. You are intelligent and you clearly know the answer. Besides you living to regret this decision, think about the child who will always hold some sort of grievance towards you especially when he/she finds out you have actively shortchanged him from the onset ( which will only be made worse when you decide to start your "proper" family). If you can live with the guilt, then please go ahead, but if that child causes us in the general society any problems, know you (and your ex that is acting silly but actually being manipulative) are the cause.

3 Likes

Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Baronthecelebri: 12:25pm On Oct 30, 2022
AndroBlaze:


@OP, I only have one thing to say to you.

Clearly from your writeup, you came from a family built by love, a mother and a father, whom you seemed close to. The death of your father and the impact it had on you also confirms this. Part of the reason you seem to be a good human being is because of the family you came from and the love that surrounds you.

Why deny another human being (your proposed seed), the same love, comfort and security? At 23 you should be old enough to know money cannot buy everything and is not everything. Neither does the proposed beauty of the child solve or mean everything, unless you would be with your ex, who you clearly seem to think is more beautiful than your current girlfriend.

The truth is you are young, thats why you are being enticed this way. You are intelligent and you clearly know the answer. Besides you living to regret this decision, think about the child who will always hold some sort of grievance towards you especially when he/she finds out you have actively shortchanged him from the onset ( which will only be made worse when you decide to start your "proper" family). If you can live with the guilt, then please go ahead, but if that child causes us in the general society any problems, know you (and your ex that is acting silly but actually being manipulative) are the cause.
Cooolme:
Greetings guys, it's a long read pls.
I met this girl during my sec school, we went to same school, also lived in same estate and we became friends, Her mum is French and couldn't speak fluent English, my mom is Ivorian also speaks French both married to Nigerians so I think it made it easier for our Moms to relate very well.
Later on, we got into a relationship but unfortunately I had to end everything back then because she was too pretty and also needed to focus on myself since I was leaving my parents to go live with a relative in my home state and also school there. When I started making little cash on my own, I saw the need to have someone I'll grow in love with and that's how I met my current girlfriend. She's nice, religious and very respectful from a well to do home, we've been together for like 4yrs now.
So like 3 yrs ago when my dad fell sick, I had to go see him and I noticed my ex and her family no longer lives in that estate again and I didn't bother asking my Mom anything. That week of my return we received some visitors and surprisingly it was my ex and her family, my Mom told me since my dad's illness they've made a routine to come see him every month. Honestly she got very much prettier, she didn't want to have anything to do with me initially but we got along, she started coming to my house very often while I was around and we had s*x for the first time.
I traveled back to school and we've in touch, she always checks up on me regularly and I wasn't feeling my own girlfriend again. After my IT last year, I was to resume for my finals but because of the strike I came back to my family, now this is when things got serious with my ex, she was allover even tho I made known to her I'm now in a relationship but she didn't relent, there's a way she relates with my Mom now that I don't even understand again.
My dad's illness got worse and I had to be staying with him at the hospital, she schools in a private Uni here in Abuja but she'll always drive from school to the hospital, this act made me very fond of her and I started to like her again. All these things was affecting my relationship and I didn't mind, one day my girlfriend called me sobbing, asking me if she wronged me, I felt really bad and tried my best to make it up to her.
After my dad's death, my ex was still there for me, truth is this girl can care I won't lie. She made sure I was very much alright. Earlier this year, my ex said something about having a kid with me but I thought it was one of her silly Jokes and I laughed it off, said she knows I don't love her even though she told her Mom we're dating but I should please grant her request that I don't need to take care of the kid if I don't want to, I think she's very serious and I don't know her plan with that.
To be honest, it's something I would like to do, afterall she's beautiful, mixed race and looking out for the kid can never be my problem but I've had a rethink considering my relationship, it'll scatter everything. I purposely made a joke to my girlfriend about me having a kid and seriously her reaction isn't what I'll like to face, my ex came visiting me to talk about this cos I'll be leaving for school soon and I don't think I'll be back till she leaves the country for her master's.
Guys I'm very confused, I don't even know again because this should be the very least of what should be bothering me at this moment.
I think you don't have sense
Re: My Ex Wants A Child With Me. by Baronthecelebri: 12:28pm On Oct 30, 2022
Cooolme:


Truth is I'm scared, my Mom and her family will push for marriage once she gets pregnant for me, something I don't want. I told her my mind about that but she argued that it won't happen lol.
Bu the way, I like how well you articulated your words.
she'll manipulate you into marriage, just keep fooling yourself.

1 Like

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