My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me

U join that same social media with another pic and message him let d love continue

Finish your NYSC and join him there. Next time, if anybody tells you anything negative about your husband,shout at the person and tell that person never to report your husband to you again.

From all indication, you seem to be a small girl, so I'll suggest you mind the kind of people you keep as friend, so they won't derail you from enjoying your marriage. I rest my case.

Do you trust your husband or not ? He registering on a dating app is quite wrong as a married man.

UK cold done dey enter sub zero level and body no be firewood.

Would advice you thread with caution to avoid accusing your husband falsely though. Gather concrete proof before you strike.

You sef do quick go join am, NYSC no get any use for UK.

What is that your friend trying to achieve?

Ajens1991:
Finish your NYSC and join him there. Next time, if anybody tells you anything negative about your husband,shout at the person and tell that person never to report your husband to you again.

From all indication, you seem to be a small girl, so I'll suggest you mind the kind of people you keep as friend, so they won't derail you from enjoying your marriage. I rest my case.

I didn't want to give this any thought. He said he's there not for dating. I'm not sure about that. I'm not there and I know how easy for Men to cheat when he's been complaining he is lonely. He misses me all the time and I do too

Be fast get your bag and go join him over there, such matter can't be settled online and again if he catch a fish there and ur still here getting angry over being on dating site.....madam bye bye is ur story ooooo

Moderator

Move to Family section

Salewabeau:
My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me

On dating sites, you have:

- Single people- looking to date, find a sex partner,flings, find a life partner e.t.c

- Married men and women on the site - They are looking for sex, no string attached fun, flings, adultery e.t.c

There is no other way to sugarcoat this.

Any married man on a dating app is useless and irresponsible. Don't let the men here fool you by telling you not to accuse your hubby falsely. They are birds of a feather. Accuse him and call off the relationship before he lands you a dirty and incurable disease.

Men are not worth it. They'll just end up messing your life, that's one thing I've come to realize.

From all indications, it's possible he has met with a few runs girls from that site or is seriously planning to lay one there, reason he still has his pics and personal data there. So dump him before he destroys your life.

All these men who marry young naive girls self. So you think your husband with a good job in uk will be faithful to you inside cold What a joker hahahaha

ednut1:
All these men who marry young naive girls self. So you think your husband with a good job in uk will be faithful to you inside cold What a joker hahahaha

Talk about yourself ��. It's not too much if I demand my hubby is faithful to me. No man has ever touched me other than him. Is he wrong to demand this from such a man.?
If he starts sleeping with them, won't they get pregnant for him.? I love my husband and I don't think I deserve such an headache.

Why'd you say a 24yrs old lady who has finished university is young. I'm not naive. I just demand accountability since he knows my whereabouts everyday too

Hmmm...

I am "words of short" as a man knowing I could get caught up in this kinda exploratory and adventurous hubris.

My only issue is how he(we) would take this sort of exploration should the case be reversed.

I no fit shout jare

ednut1:
All these men who marry young naive girls self. So you think your husband with a good job in uk will be faithful to you inside cold What a joker hahahaha

Ednut, when has it become a sin for an innocent girl to request her husband is faithful? She said she doesn't know any man other than him. And you read that. Yet you still chose to add more injuries to her wound.

OP, your instincts are not wrong and they're not totally right either. Men are like that. They allow their manhood to take control of them. Pray for him and maintain your own duties. Don't give him any loophole to think strange things about you. Since you're about done with youth service, carry yourself go meet your husband.

Salewabeau:


Talk about yourself ��. It's not too much if I demand my hubby is faithful to me. No man has ever touched me other than him. Is he wrong to demand this from such a man.?
If he starts sleeping with them, won't they get pregnant for him.? I love my husband and I don't think I deserve such an headache.

Why'd you say a 24yrs old lady who has finished university is young. I'm not naive. I just demand accountability since he knows my whereabouts everyday too

lol omode loun she e. There is nothing you can do to make him delete the apps. If you are not satisfied end the marriage.

Jeweltz:


Ednut, when has it become a sin for an innocent girl to request her husband is faithful? She said she doesn't know any man other than him. And you read that. Yet you still chose to add more injuries to her wound.

OP, your instincts are not wrong and they're not totally right either. Men are like that. They allow their manhood to take control of them. Pray for him and maintain your own duties. Don't give him any loophole to think strange things about you. Since you're about done with youth service, carry yourself go meet your husband.

but the reality is the man is already on those apps, he may have met some babes from there already. An unemployed 24 years old wife in Nigeria cannot dictate to a tech bro in uk on a work visa . Thats the reality of life let her divorce if she can’t endure. You know how many single babes dey uk that will grab him like hot jollof

ednut1:
but the reality is the man is already on those apps, he may have met some babes from there already. An unemployed 24 years old wife in Nigeria cannot dictate to a tech bro in uk on a work visa . Thats the reality of life let her divorce if she can’t endure. You know how many single babes dey uk that will grab him like hot jollof

Men sha . Trust a man with a jon Tomas dangling between his legs at your peril.

Yes, the man now has access to those apps and nothing the girl can do that can make him leave unless she herself presents herself where her husband is. OP should exercise caution and talk to her husband how what he's doing is affecting her mental health, even cry on video call if needs be.

So, you Canadian people are unfaithful too. I thought it's UK thing . Dhurrr

Jeweltz:


Men sha . Trust a man with a jon Tomas dangling between his legs at your peril.

Yes, the man now has access to those apps and nothing the girl can do that can make him leave unless she herself presents herself where her husband is. OP should exercise caution and talk to her husband how what he's doing is affecting her mental health, even cry on video call if needs be.

So, you Canadian people are unfaithful too. I thought it's UK thing . Dhurrr

the story is probably fake too lol.

Jeweltz:


Men sha . Trust a man with a jon Tomas dangling between his legs at your peril.

Yes, the man now has access to those apps and nothing the girl can do that can make him leave unless she herself presents herself where her husband is. OP should exercise caution and talk to her husband how what he's doing is affecting her mental health, even cry on video call if needs be.

So, you Canadian people are unfaithful too. I thought it's UK thing . Dhurrr

I am still waiting for your mail.

Salewabeau:


Talk about yourself ��. It's not too much if I demand my hubby is faithful to me. No man has ever touched me other than him. Is he wrong to demand this from such a man.?
If he starts sleeping with them, won't they get pregnant for him.? I love my husband and I don't think I deserve such an headache.

Why'd you say a 24yrs old lady who has finished university is young. I'm not naive. I just demand accountability since he knows my whereabouts everyday too

Babe
Take it easy
Yeah, it wrong but don't let ur friend or the fight scatter ur house.... When are you going to b done with ur Nysc? Av you started ur application? No long talk or fight
Just finish everything and go meet him there. Cool down okay

Salewabeau:
My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me

Is unfair for him to do this but the truth remains that you hardly see a man who don’t cheat but that doesn’t mean they don’t love their wife , men are wired that way. I will advise you to trade with caution and stop listening to anyone with information that will destroy your marriage. Make sure you be with your husband as soon as you are done with youth service. If possible don’t discuss anything like you are cheating on me etc it will create impressions for him to start suspecting you. Is important to know that wife can forgive a cheating husband but husband can never forgive a cheating wife.
My 2 kobo

Blessedmercy8:
Any married man on a dating app is useless and irresponsible. Don't let the men here fool you by telling you not to accuse your hubby falsely. They are birds of a feather. Accuse him and call off the relationship before he lands you a dirty and incurable disease.

Men are not worth it. They'll just end up messing your life, that's one thing I've come to realize.

From all indications, it's possible he has met with a few runs girls from that site or is seriously planning to lay one there, reason he still has his pics and personal data there. So dump him before he destroys your life.

Aren't you the 40-year-old woman who planned to marry a man who earns 100K pm? How come suddenly men are not worth it? Abi your 41-year old husband-to-be no be man?

Ajens1991:
Finish your NYSC and join him there. Next time, if anybody tells you anything negative about your husband,shout at the person and tell that person never to report your husband to you again.

From all indication, you seem to be a small girl, so I'll suggest you mind the kind of people you keep as friend, so they won't derail you from enjoying your marriage. I rest my case.

Hers is not a marriage. A real marriage involves love, commitment, sacrifice…

abuhaneefah29:
Do you trust your husband or not ? He registering on a dating app is quite wrong as a married man.

UK cold done dey enter sub zero level and body no be firewood.

Would advice you thread with caution to avoid accusing your husband falsely though. Gather concrete proof before you strike.

You sef do quick go join am, NYSC no get any use for UK.

Did you read her post at all?

ednut1:
All these men who marry young naive girls self. So you think your husband with a good job in uk will be faithful to you inside cold What a joker hahahaha

Why can’t he? We as Nigerian men have so normalized cheating (for us only though).

Your husband has zero respect for you and your marriage. Here’s my advice, keep quiet, make peace, get yourself to the UK, then show him the door. Simple.

TWoods:


Why can’t he? We as Nigerian men have so normalized cheating (for us only though).

a female friend in uk was gisting me about her colleague. His wife in Nigeria had a still birth , in pains and was crying . Guy man went to his side chick’s house in uk same day to nack. Sometimes my gender no dey try. How can a sane man be thinking of sex with his wife in that condition. Omo

TWoods:


Did you read her post at all?

He did. Welcome to Nairaland. That is me acting like you are even a newcomer. You should be used to this by now. I am used to it...

When she joins him and they start having marital issues, they would claim it is abroad that scattered the marriage.

Sweetvie:
Babe
Take it easy
Yeah, it wrong but don't let ur friend or the fight scatter ur house.... When are you going to b done with ur Nysc? Av you started ur application? No long talk or fight
Just finish everything and go meet him there. Cool down okay

Her friend is not the person destroying her marriage, her husband is.

TWoods:


Her friend is not the person destroying her marriage, [/b]her husband is.[b]

See ehn
If she is to act on what her friend told her trust me the marriage is a goner
That's why I told her to cool down
Start her application to meet him soon
That's guys lifestyle
Married or not
Only few stay faithful in marriage

HRprof:


Is unfair for him to do this but the truth remains that you hardly see a man who don’t cheat but that doesn’t mean they don’t love their wife , men are wired that way. I will advise you to trade with caution and stop listening to anyone with information that will destroy your marriage. Make sure you be with your husband as soon as you are done with youth service. If possible don’t discuss anything like you are cheating on me etc it will create impressions for him to start suspecting you. Is important to know that wife can forgive a cheating husband but husband can never forgive a cheating wife.
My 2 kobo

These comments are shocking.

1. Men are not wired to cheat anymore than women are.
2. The only person actively destroying her marriage is her husband.
3. Saying she should not raise the issue with her husband is the same as giving him unrestricted license to act worse than a dog.
4. Hahaha a wife is required to forgive a cheating husband but it is zero tolerance for the cheating wife?

These attitudes are why Nigerian men are all over Twitter spaces whining about “abroad” ruining their marriages. Their wives learned not to tolerate such crap.

Sweetvie:
See ehn
If she is to act on what her friend told her trust me the marriage is a goner
That's why I told her to cool down
Start her application to meet him soon
That's guys lifestyle
Married or not
Only few stay faithful in marriage

The marriage is already a goner. She should not tolerate a blatant cheat who thinks he has a right to treat her worse than dirt because he is a “tech bro”. My advice is she lays low, gets here and then tosses him out to his mistresses and find a better human to give her body to.

This is not “guys lifestyle” and millions of men are faithful in marriage.