@Amarachi Iyawo Emeka wrote

Good morning ma.

Please I need sincere advice from you and your readers.

I am a working class woman who earns higher salary than my husband.

So based on this, I willingly shouldered more of the financial contributions in running our home.

My husband only pays the house rent and nepa bills but i pay our children school fees, our feeding, clothing and every other thing.

So recently my husband lost his job and became self employed while I was promoted at my own office.

I decided to finish our building project which my dad singlehandedly started 5 years ago before he passed on

This is to remove the burden of house rent on us but my husbands one kobo is not coming into this.

So we decided to move to a 3 bedroom flat in the meantime because our young family is expanding with a baby on the way.

We got a nice place with a spacious master bedroom and two other rooms. I told my husband that I wanted the master bedroom but he protested that its his right as the head of the family.

I got angry and told him I can't be paying our rent and not have a say on choice of rooms. I have more loads and need more space so I insisted on the Master bedroom.

He still refused. I told him I wouldn't help out with the rent again and he got angry. For two nights now he has been sleeping at the house of one of his bachelor friends place.

Seun,RoyalRoy

Husband and wife should not be living in a separate room.when they live in a separate room.it gives room for secret

Just because of who go dey for master's bedroom, na em wan end Una marriage laidiz.. Pls the both of you should just share it. Smh

This is rubbish! Why should a couple be sleeping in different rooms under the same roof? Why should the wife want the master bedroom because she paid for the house? Would the man have insisted on having the master bedroom all to himself if he paid for the house?

Abfinest007:
Husband and wife should not be living in a separate room.when they live in a separate room.it gives room for secret

Oyinbo talk am like that

Are they not supposedly a couple? Why the preference for separate bedrooms?

Couples living in separate bedrooms is not even good for their kids who are naturally observant.

I have worked with a 5 year old kid, who told me his parents are "quarrelling" and I asked him how he got to know, he replied " daddy doesn't go to mummy's room again to do shukushuku"....hmmm.

Madam. Are you okay? The master bedroom belongs to both of you. If your husband demands it what is the issue? Why the hell are you guys even sleeping apart in the first place?

What's with this noise nigerian ladies make when they start earning more than their spouses? Total rubbish! That you earn more than your man doesn't change the fact that you still answer to him! You are making small change and now the world should not hear word? Are you Ngozi Okonjo Iweala? With all her success, she still places a premium on her husband.
Where are we getting this kind poorly trained women from? Your husband is not sleeping at home and you are here disturbing us. Madam is your money more than the value of your home? Is it worth more to you than your husband? Is a bedroom worth breaking your home over?
If your man had the money he will do far more for you. That you have the money now doesn't mean you should Lord it over your husband. Frankly, you are pathetic.

I’m used to couples sharing a bedroom but I’ve also come across people who sleeping separately is a norm for? Maybe they’re one of those couples.

Couples competing for ‘ranking’ will always be alien to me.

Anywho, men lord their status as highest financial contributor over their partners’ heads and act like it’s license for them to take certain liberties all the time, but when women do it, it’s ‘noise’.

BMathew:
We got a nice place with a spacious master bedroom and two other rooms. I told my husband that I wanted the master bedroom but he protested that its his right as the head of the family. I got angry and told him I can't be paying our rent and not have a say on choice of rooms.
■ I have more loads and need more space so I insisted on the Master bedroom. He still refused. I told him I wouldn't help out with the rent again and he got angry. For two nights now he has been sleeping at the house of one of his bachelor friends place.

1. I don't understand! Aren't they a married couple? why not share the master bedroom? Even if you both sleep in separate beds. una no fit share the room?

2. You have more load and you use it all every day 24/7?

Dogalmighty17:
Madam. Are you okay? The master bedroom belongs to both of you. If your husband demands it what is the issue? Why the hell are you guys even sleeping apart in the first place?

What's with this noise nigerian ladies make when they start earning more than their spouses? Total rubbish! That you earn more than your man doesn't change the fact that you still answer to him! You are making small change and now the world should not hear word? Are you Ngozi Okonjo Iweala? With all her success, she still places a premium on her husband.
Where are we getting this kind poorly trained women from? Your husband is not sleeping at home and you are here disturbing us. Madam is your money more than the value of your home? Is it worth more to you than your husband? Is a bedroom worth breaking your home over?
If your man had the money he will do far more for you. That you have the money now doesn't mean you should Lord it over your husband. Frankly, you are pathetic.

A man would feed a family until his dying days and nobody will hear anything about it but a woman would feed a wife for just a day, d whole world would definitely hear and know about it. That's women for u
D gods are wise.

ibkayee:
I’m used to couples sharing a bedroom but I’ve also come across people who sleeping separately is a norm for? Maybe they’re one of those couples.

Couples competing for ‘ranking’ will always be alien to me.

Anywho, men lord their status as highest financial contributor over their partners’ heads and act like it’s license for them to take certain liberties all the time, but when women do it, it’s ‘noise’.

Then a woman should go and pay d man' groom price and stop disturbing us

WellWell, DIS KIND OF STORY IS NOT AND WILL NEVER BE STRANGE TO ME.
D EARLIER A MAN START PLACING WOMAN WHERE SHE BELONGS TO D BETTER FOR HIM. MEE ARE D CAUSE OF ALL THESE RUBBISh U SEE OR READ ABOUT.
IMAGINE D RUBBISH WIFE, DRAGGING MASTER'S BEDROOM BCS SHE IS D ONE PAYING FOR D RENT. IF DRAGGINF MASTER'S BEDROOM COULD BE LIKE DIS, THAT MEANS D HUSBAND IS ALREADY DEAD IN THAT SO CALLED RETIREMENT PLAN OF A WOMAN CALLED MARRIAGE

Thor...Some couples don't like sleeping in same room.
Again, why is the husband petty?

The wife obviously need more space with the new baby, he shouldn't make so much noise out of it na!

A situation where the MIL comes around, where will she sleep so she can attend to the baby at night so the couples will have time to sleep?

Some men sef.Already feeling cheated, and undermined because of MB.

That him friend house wey him mumu go, shebi dem give am key to the Master's bedroom?


Finally Agaracha wey go, must surely come back.

My advice for the woman;
Keep calling him and petting him to come back home.
Use banana draw monkey come back house.

emmanuelbrown26:

Then a woman should go and pay d man' groom price and stop disturbing us

Yawn. Plenty of cultures that don’t pay bride price or pay a very small amount, yet the men are the same

Hmmm nawa o, my gender and useless ego

emmanuelbrown26:

Then a woman should go and pay d man' groom price and stop disturbing us

Will you and your kinsmen agree if the woman you are in a relationship with, says she wants to pay your groom price?

Trivial issues, marriage sha, its well o.

My wife will never agree to staying in a separate room even with all her plenty stuffs. I guess you both love it separate.

meanwhile i think both of you have ego, yours maybe because you pay bills. I feel is its wrong to say because you pay bills you shoulder stay in the bigger room, your argument should be because you have more stuffs not because you are paying the rent, most men will not take it. I know a woman that will give her husband money for the children fee when oga is not buoyant and no one will know, its the man that will still tell them what their mother did.

ednut1:
Hmmm nawa o, my gender and useless ego

most men will not give take it, she should have use another argument and not because she is paying the rent. Its more like rubbing it on his face.

BMathew:
@Amarachi Iyawo Emeka wrote

Good morning ma.

Please I need sincere advice from you and your readers.

I am a working class woman who earns higher salary than my husband.

So based on this, I willingly shouldered more of the financial contributions in running our home.

My husband only pays the house rent and nepa bills but i pay our children school fees, our feeding, clothing and every other thing.

So recently my husband lost his job and became self employed while I was promoted at my own office.

I decided to finish our building project which my dad singlehandedly started 5 years ago before he passed on

This is to remove the burden of house rent on us but my husbands one kobo is not coming into this.

So we decided to move to a 3 bedroom flat in the meantime because our young family is expanding with a baby on the way.

We got a nice place with a spacious master bedroom and two other rooms. I told my husband that I wanted the master bedroom but he protested that its his right as the head of the family.

I got angry and told him I can't be paying our rent and not have a say on choice of rooms. I have more loads and need more space so I insisted on the Master bedroom.

He still refused. I told him I wouldn't help out with the rent again and he got angry. For two nights now he has been sleeping at the house of one of his bachelor friends place.

Seun,RoyalRoy

Imagine

I think you can pay the rent, let him pack into the master bedroom, you too pack into the same room

Make sure you stuff the room with all your personal effects because the baby on the way needs comfort and space

Children stays more in mummy's room so accommodate them too as he can't chase them out since they are his children

He will be choked in that room

By the time he sees how busy and naughty a woman's room is, he will decide to move to another room or endure the discomfort

No be every thing them they argue, some will prove itself

Every problem get solution

emmanuelbrown26:

A man would feed a family until his dying days and nobody will hear anything about it but a woman would feed a wife for just a day, d whole world would definitely hear and know about it. That's women for u
D gods are wise.

not all women, my friends mother is an exception, that woman sha, her types are rare.

ibkayee:
I’m used to couples sharing a bedroom but I’ve also come across people who sleeping separately is a norm for? Maybe they’re one of those couples.

Couples competing for ‘ranking’ will always be alien to me.

Anywho, men lord their status as highest financial contributor over their partners’ heads and act like it’s license for them to take certain liberties all the time, but when women do it, it’s ‘noise’.

Not true ma, most men don't do it because of financial contribution, they mostly do it because feel they are the head of the family. A responsible man know its his responsibility to take care of his family so their is no need dragging anything became of that.

Mindlog:
Are they not supposedly a couple? Why the preference for separate bedrooms?

Couples living in separate bedrooms is not even good for their kids who are naturally observant.

I have worked with a 5 year old kid, who told me his parents are "quarrelling" and I asked him how he got to know, he replied " daddy doesn't go to mummy's room again to do shukushuku"....hmmm.

LOL...what is shukushuku pls?

culf:


LOL...what is shukushuku pls?

Dey form baby, you hear.

Mindlog:

Dey form baby, you hear.

hahaha, no vex, just tell men...

culf:


hahaha, no vex, just tell men...

U wan hear am for my mouth?....Nah!

That's why never allow your wife to earn more than you! Call me old fashioned or Misogynist but the reality is;
Ehat makes you the man of the house? You provide, you feed, you protect and you place rules but when you can't fulfill one of these and your wife carries one of the responsibility, it's a disaster coming Talk more of her carrying 70% of these responsibility you are No longer the man. No matter how much she loves you، as time goes on she'll start disrespecting you and she's not wrong for that because it's Natural we are humans and we crap on those beneath us. In the case of this woman she's right for asking for the master bedroom because she technically paid for it, but it's not proper for her to have the master bedroom that's a slap on your face as the man of the house both of you should stay there together!!

Bottom Line___

1. Never put yourself in a position where your wife earns more than you
2. If she does never allow her provide for the Family more than you do except if she wants to do some little things herself
3. If she does earn more than you Either she submits some percentage to you for you to use on the house or you sit there like a lil b*** and loose the Title as The man of the house
4. And most importantly know the type of partner you have, if you do all this won't matter.

Don't let this get to your head, yes you are supporting the family and shouldering responsibilities, but don't make it seems like you are trying to be the man of the house, your husband may be in his bad state right now, but he isn't gonna be in that position for long if he hustle more and do things right, give him his dues, I don't even know why this should be an issue, you both should be sharing the bedroom not dragging who gets to keep it

Why you both planning to stay in separate room though ?

Madam,a good woman builds her home and not destroy it.

U have been trying with the way u split bills with him but don't allow comfort to destroy ur home now.

Think twice.

No doubt few women can do what u have done...pls apply wisdom.

Why is she demanding to make use of the Master's bedroom. When she is just the mistress.

All these people protesting the separate rooms arrangement miss the point.
The truth is that a man and a woman should not really be sharing one room if the man wants to be sane and not lose his spiritual stamina.
In old Igboland when men were STRONG, a man even had his own HOUSE sef. His wife or wives had their houses too.
The couple meets only when they want to do jigi jigi.
And the man returns to his space to plan how to secure and provide for his family.
And you wonder why men are weaklings these days. lol

As for the woman insisting on having the master bedroom when her husbands wants same, she is advised to keep in mind that the fire that burns down the biggest house always starts small.
The size of the room or the name of the room does not matter. What matters is that the man is the "Lord of the Manor" in marriage, and has the first right of refusal when it comes to rooms and the house.
Her behavior is exactly why some men undermine their wives careers growth and economic development even if the family loses financially.
She is not a wise woman.
Men have this little thing called testosterone which fuels this other little thing called Ego.
Na so God take make am.
I hope she doesn't wake up late after the house has been burnt down. \

ibkayee:

Yawn. Plenty of cultures that don’t pay bride price or pay a very small amount, yet the men are the same

says by chairlady women affairs.