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My Experience In NDLEA Jail - Crime (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Yankee101: 1:12pm On Feb 01, 2023
Raymond0008:
How much dem use bail you?


Never had any issues with either Ndla, police or Efcc.


Lowkey is the best life.

Avoiding drugs is
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Yankee101: 1:13pm On Feb 01, 2023
Franzinni:
Wow. This is a nice read OP... I too love a kiss or two from marryjane and in the back of my mind I am like, what if I get bursted...


I forgot.... I am the law !!!! Hahahahaha

But for real tho thanks for sharing... It very informative

So being the law is and excuse to break it?
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by sterlingD(m): 1:14pm On Feb 01, 2023
epondudu:
Op you are a fantastic story teller I love this your write up.
Please continue smoking it's seems that thing gives inspiration. grin

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Autobot05: 1:17pm On Feb 01, 2023
Since it's just MJ you're good .. just abstain fully from it
Nothing dey for drugs .. they give you short term pleasure and take a huge part of your life force.

You'll feel very depressed and short tempered when you quit first ( if you're addicted)

I don take almost every drug and I don see say nothing dey am

Jesus is the ONLY way 🤗

9 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by ItisWell22(f): 1:17pm On Feb 01, 2023
epondudu:
Op you are a fantastic story teller I love this your write up.
Please continue smoking it's seems that thing gives inspiration. grin

😂
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Gkay1(m): 1:17pm On Feb 01, 2023
I love this guy write up
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Legitmatazz: 1:19pm On Feb 01, 2023
Nawa o ... Sorry dude.

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by easytig(m): 1:19pm On Feb 01, 2023
Hmmm ,I remember when police arrested my close friend for smoking and possession of Indian hemp,he called me to help bail him out,me too as a good friend went , negotiate 20k with soloki police IPO ,went to withdraw and paid,he was released immediately.the painful 😣 part was that he went to buy Igbo and smoke that same evening in my presence.i almost regret not letting him spend enough time there.dude was not remorseful at all, though I manage to get 10k repayment from him ,the remaining balance na voicemail.

7 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by tolugar: 1:19pm On Feb 01, 2023
Ireportlive:
Wow


I read through everything...

God is your strength O.P.

But your parents should atleast take you to a proper rehab and let you see a professional
m


If you can writ like this mennnn

You will have no time for wee


Believe me you will not even have time to count your money
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by zoghys: 1:20pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...

inasmuch as am sorry for your situation, i really love what your dad did. He knows you aint an addict, but wants you to disassociate from what will tarnish your image or that of the family in the near future. Anyway, your dad is a man after my heart, i love a disciplinarian and would have actually done the same thing to my kid if he wants to misbehave. Am glad you learnt your lesson albeit a hard way.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Eagba(m): 1:23pm On Feb 01, 2023
Hassanmaye:

I read everything
Those who know this guy, knows that he's one of the asset nl have

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by MuMuOnBail: 1:27pm On Feb 01, 2023
na wa oooo



Dear stoners be careful of the kind of people you smoke with. Some of those hungry riff raff collect a percentage of 5K only for snitching.

Very stupid set of people


A lesson well learnt.

My family are more of p*ssy addict than smokers, gamblers and Alcohol

And we are proud of ourselves.


Our last born tried doing drugs. We arrested him and took him to NDLEA cell.

We don't tolerate idiots in our family.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by MrColdsweat: 1:28pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:



If you agree to send me the money, I'll tell you.
grin


Me too I've been lowkey to a fault, I don't even have time to greet nobody, my head phones are always on.

Still bad belly folks make squad reach my house, one can't be too careful though, fake folks and haters choke everywhere.
Bros you no lie. Some years back I was living in this face me I face you. Everyone hated me because I didn't greet anybody. They lied to the landlord and had me evicted. Nobody wicked pass poor people.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Spain007(m): 1:35pm On Feb 01, 2023
easytig:
Hmmm ,I remember when police arrested my close friend for smoking and possession of Indian hemp,he called me to help bail him out,me too as a good friend went , negotiate 20k with soloki police IPO ,went to withdraw and paid,he was released immediately.the painful 😣 part was that he went to buy Igbo and smoke that same evening in my presence.i almost regret not letting him spend enough time there.dude was not remorseful at all, though I manage to get 10k repayment from him ,the remaining balance na voicemail.

SOLOKI AGUDA.....them no send

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by xtanlee(m): 1:35pm On Feb 01, 2023
Ah uduak…..Nigeria happened to you bro…cannabis is a miracle , but I’m sure you know that already ….one love my bro
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by ospreywin(m): 1:39pm On Feb 01, 2023
grin you're now a man.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by spartachico(m): 1:43pm On Feb 01, 2023
Your dad is an accomplice , he’s the one who got you arrested, you Dey ur lane jeje and you Dey cruise your cruise with no wahala or disturbing anybody peace ,seems someone sold you out because NDLEA are not police or sars that walk about arresting people ... you were sold out and if I’m not mistaken your dad is an accomplice .
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Curious345: 1:43pm On Feb 01, 2023
Quit being a talkative .

No power is above the power of Mary j.

Only Dullard's feel and think otherwise.

If your head and soul no carry am , then gettat and leave it for those that are called for it .
Neddstark:


Please as this shit as happened to you. Make that strong decision to say goodbye to Maryjane. That herb can take your life down the drain and you wouldn't know. Some people take it and live normal lives but remember the dog that every child loves still bites some kids.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by YeyeGbami: 1:43pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:



If you agree to send me the money, I'll tell you.
grin


Me too I've been lowkey to a fault, I don't even have time to greet nobody, my head phones are always on.

Still bad belly folks make squad reach my house, one can't be too careful though, fake folks and haters choke everywhere.

Sorry about your troubles, you dey smoke for compound? Friends dey come smoke for your side?
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Curious345: 1:45pm On Feb 01, 2023
And so what? If his dad is an accomplice, and so what ?

Parents are the ultimate rats.. if they tell on you , there is nothing you can do about it ..

Even the crips and blood know this
spartachico:
Your dad is an accomplice , he’s the one who got you arrested, you Dey ur lane jeje and you Dey cruise your cruise with no wahala or disturbing anybody peace ,seems someone sold you out because NDLEA are not police or sars that walk about arresting people ... you were sold out and if I’m not mistaken your dad is an accomplice .

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by mayorofyentown(m): 1:45pm On Feb 01, 2023
Sorry for what you had to go through. just take things easy...
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 1:46pm On Feb 01, 2023
Only 7 days...

Just act responsibility and regain your family's trust.

NDLEA has DDRD program, and every year, at least two people going in a normal youth (but abusing drugs) and came out fully insane (usually caused by other inmates bulling them).

As unpleasant as it is, you now have thick skin.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by makavalley(m): 1:52pm On Feb 01, 2023
Neddstark:


Please as this shit as happened to you. Make that strong decision to say goodbye to Maryjane. [/b]That herb can take your life down the drain and you wouldn't know. [b]Some people take it and live normal lives but remember the dog that every child loves still bites some kids.
Here is the salient point

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by spartachico(m): 1:55pm On Feb 01, 2023
Wetin concern dem crips and blood for this matter like this
Curious345:
And so what? If his dad is an accomplice, and so what ?

Parents are the ultimate rats.. if they tell on you , there is nothing you can do about it ..

Even the crips and blood know this
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by FuckYou: 1:56pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555,
Op, what's your age range?
I have been caught too with weed by police..
But why will they keep your account,
Abi you be under 20

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by NohurryInLife: 2:04pm On Feb 01, 2023
epondudu:
Op you are a fantastic story teller I love this your write up.
Please continue smoking it's seems that thing gives inspiration. grin
You enjoyed the story right?? You're very sick grin
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by fringz11(m): 2:05pm On Feb 01, 2023
7 days

I spent 35 days in a Cameroon Police Cell on suspicion of being a Spy from Nigeria

4 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 2:10pm On Feb 01, 2023
Generalwoodz:
When I got to the point where you said, "you faked malaria" then the bittersweet memory came flooding in.

Somewhere in the North. A decade ago... I faked grave ulcer and the then commandant Major General (-----) gave order for my release and that of my mates.

I had on a white tee shirt, a knee length blue shorts and black stockings. I wasn't alone. I had comrades or better still cadets hopefuls dabbed in exact same outfits and haircuts.

If you haven't guessed we were held in a Jail at secluded spot in the Nigerian defense Academy.

The memory is fugy but we were at least 10 young boys confined in high walls. One was a Minister's son, another an Elder statesman. others were offsprings of respected and Seasoned politicians.

😂 I had nobody but well behaved and acted as a child of an astute business tycoon somewhere in Kafanchan. I had to do that after they told their profiles.

We had a Sprite rubber pet unlike you who had a big bucket for urination.

The picture is still clear how we squeezed the cap of our tennage penis to fit into the rubber to pee afterward disacharged by pouring way through the strong barricaded little opening that was designed to let in air for disgruntled inmates.

The food!😂 I'll never forget in hurry the delicious delicacies that graced the hard floors we slept on. Three square meals bro! Egusi soups with big big meats! Oh, how soft the semo was...🍛🍛🍛🍛🍛🍛🍛

I never felt lost, lost in thoughts and or utter hopeless because of the hot foods and evident display of comradeship. You may call it paradise in hell.

We had no one legged presidio or number one.

The high walls had bold inscriptions and told grand tales of men whom have been in and out of that place.

...






They don't want death because people die there and many said they were sick but no one believed them.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by SaLongs1(m): 2:14pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...
Lailai

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Ego2(f): 2:17pm On Feb 01, 2023
Uduak don see shit😧😑.... pele dear.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by SaLongs1(m): 2:20pm On Feb 01, 2023
cheesy
epondudu:
Op you are a fantastic story teller I love this your write up.
Please continue smoking it's seems that thing gives inspiration. grin
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Seequadry(m): 2:21pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:


man wey sabi.... The rock baba, missed your writings oo

Had to go scroll back up to check the acct name cos the writeups started looking famliar.... Thumbs up bro continous grace sir

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