Congratulations, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, on your successful swearing-in inauguration today.

I must confess that we, the haters, have actually been sitting on a fence since this morning and waiting for when security agencies, as predicted by one prophet, were going to storm the event today and arrest you or Shettima. But fortunately for you, and unfortunately for most of us, the prophecy was Nollywood standard (pure lies). Anyways, thank God, the werey prophesier is currently cooling off in jail for another crime aside from the national lie he lied on a pulpit. I don’t blame him anyway; he is simply lucky. We are no longer in the "Ananias and Sapphire" Era.

All in all, congratulations once more, Asiwaju!

Now to matters of real interest, sir. Your call to serve is not a happy one at all. As we all know, the country is in deep shambles; our economy is in real trouble; our educational sector is completely dead; and almost all other sectors are crumbling. What the country currently needs is swift actions and competent hands to handle the nation’s crisis, not just anyone. We need men and women of merit and not just fill-in-the-blank spaces homo-sapiens.

Dear Tinubu, It is very true that there have been individuals or groups that have worked towards your victory in the last election, and of course, it is great to appreciate their efforts, but not with our future, please. Not with an already shambled country. Not with a country that is 80% dead. Compensate them with something else. Appreciate their effort somehow else.

I’m sorry, but I would have to mention names, sir.

MC Oluomo, for example, was quite instrumental in ensuring your victory. Quite correct! But his reward shouldn’t exceed cash compensation. With the money, he can decide to expand his transportation business, purchase more taxis, kekes, and minibuses, and set them up for hire. Of course, on a weekly or monthly basis, he will comfortably sit and receive commissions. With the money, he can also employ more agberos or import foreign ones from Alaska, Florida, California, or wherever in the world that would do his bidding satisfactorily.

Dear Asiwaju, I know and believe Kaduna’s ex-governor must be a part of your cabinet! Yeah, I’m not against that, but please place him in a suitable position. Remind Nasir El-rufai of his calling. He is supposed to be a teacher and nothing else. He shouldn’t be called "Malam" for nothing. He should be minister of education or nothing else.

Don’t pay heed to his lobbying for the minister of housing, rural development, or roads. Please don’t. I know him very well and know what he can do. Once he gets hold of any of the above positions, only eleven houses will remain in Badagry, and only the Igwe’s palace will remain in Ohoazara, Ebonyi State. Those in Zaria, Zonkwa, Kafachan, and Kaura can testify.

Another person you should be quite tired of is Wike. Yes, Wike. Very soon, and I mean soonest, I believe he would decamp to the APC, and of course, he would be expecting a return of favor for his role in your victory in Rivers State. Please don’t listen to him. Don’t offer him any position, and even if you must, sir, it shouldn’t exceed that of the Minister of Women's Affairs or Director-General of NAFDAC. If he declines these offers, advise him to leave and go make peace with Atiku and all his foes in the PDP, so they can form a formidable party that will still fumble in 2027.

Resist the urge to make him Minister of Information because of how outspoken he seems to be. We need competent and civil people who can address issues in and outside the country, not one who speaks as if he is addressing only the cultists in Rumuokoro.

One last plea, sir: please don’t forget the sacrifices of Toyin Abraham and Eniola Badmus. For your sake, this one sacrificed the love of many fans, sacrificed their cordial relationship with colleagues, and suffered massive insults on Twitter. Please compensate them as well. Funding their upcoming movie projects won't be bad. Bribing the "Oscars" and securing an illegal award for their low-budget, crappy cinema movies won’t be evil.

From what I have observed, it seems Eniola isn’t even much interested in movies anymore, so preferably, provide her with a four-year supply of slimming teas to aid her weight loss journey.

Thank you, sir.

You say..?

Ebus12:
Congratulations, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, on your successful swearing-in inauguration today.

I must confess that we, the haters, have actually been sitting on a fence since this morning and waiting for when security agencies, as predicted by one prophet, were going to storm the event today and arrest you or Shettima. But fortunately for you, and unfortunately for most of us, the prophecy was Nollywood standard (pure lies). Anyways, thank God, the werey prophesier is currently cooling off in jail for another crime aside from the national lie he lied on a pulpit. I don’t blame him anyway; he is simply lucky. We are no longer in the "Ananias and Sapphire" Era.

All in all, congratulations once more, Asiwaju!

Now to matters of real interest, sir. Your call to serve is not a happy one at all. As we all know, the country is in deep shambles; our economy is in real trouble; our educational sector is completely dead; and almost all other sectors are crumbling. What the country currently needs is swift actions and competent hands to handle the nation’s crisis, not just anyone. We need men and women of merit and not just fill-in-the-blank spaces homo-sapiens.

Dear Tinubu, It is very true that there have been individuals or groups that have worked towards your victory in the last election, and of course, it is great to appreciate their efforts, but not with our future, please. Not with an already shambled country. Not with a country that is 80% dead. Compensate them with something else. Appreciate their effort somehow else.

I’m sorry, but I would have to mention names, sir.

MC Oluomo, for example, was quite instrumental in ensuring your victory. Quite correct! But his reward shouldn’t exceed cash compensation. With the money, he can decide to expand his transportation business, purchase more taxis, kekes, and minibuses, and set them up for hire. Of course, on a weekly or monthly basis, he will comfortably sit and receive commissions. With the money, he can also employ more agberos or import foreign ones from Alaska, Florida, California, or wherever in the world that would do his bidding satisfactorily.

Dear Asiwaju, I know and believe Kaduna’s ex-governor must be a part of your cabinet! Yeah, I’m not against that, but please place him in a suitable position. Remind Nasir El-rufai of his calling. He is supposed to be a teacher and nothing else. He shouldn’t be called "Malam" for nothing. He should be minister of education or nothing else.

Don’t pay heed to his lobbying for the minister of housing, rural development, or roads. Please don’t. I know him very well and know what he can do. Once he gets hold of any of the above positions, only eleven houses will remain in Badagry, and only the Igwe’s palace will remain in Ohoazara, Ebonyi State. Those in Zaria, Zonkwa, Kafachan, and Kaura can testify.

Another person you should be quite tired of is Wike. Yes, Wike. Very soon, and I mean soonest, I believe he would decamp to the APC, and of course, he would be expecting a return of favor for his role in your victory in Rivers State. Please don’t listen to him. Don’t offer him any position, and even if you must, sir, it shouldn’t exceed that of the Minister of Women's Affairs or Director-General of NAFDAC. If he declines these offers, advise him to leave and go make peace with Atiku and all his foes in the PDP, so they can form a formidable party that will still fumble in 2027.

Resist the urge to make him Minister of Information because of how outspoken he seems to be. We need competent and civil people who can address issues in and outside the country, not one who speaks as if he is addressing only the cultists in Rumuokoro.

One last plea, sir: please don’t forget the sacrifices of Toyin Abraham and Eniola Badmus. For your sake, this one sacrificed the love of many fans, sacrificed their cordial relationship with colleagues, and suffered massive insults on Twitter. Please compensate them as well. Funding their upcoming movie projects won't be bad. Bribing the "Oscars" and securing an illegal award for their low-budget, crappy cinema movies won’t be evil.

From what I have observed, it seems Eniola isn’t even much interested in movies anymore, so preferably, provide her with a four-year supply of slimming teas to aid her weight loss journey.

Thank you, sir.

Dey play..he has already started manifesting the full force of his demented number 6...he has really hit the ground running.

You better think of how you will get fuel that's even if you have a car or a gen

OP your sarcasm is ignored, today is a day of celebration

If you like sit on gate instead of fence. Reality is already setting in. Right?
Asiwaju reward system will be top notch.
Keep your advise to Pandora, the man with missing manhood.

Jagaban is up to the task. Once again, congratulations to all Batified here, we survive their bullies and won them physically and spiritually.

Shame on those fake pastors/prophets, its just a pity their followers will still not learn, most especially the flat headed people.

Dapson73:
If you like sit on gate instead of fence. Reality is already setting in. Right?
Asiwaju reward system will be top notch.
Keep your advise to Pandora, the man with missing manhood.

Jagaban is up to the task. Once again, congratulations to all Batified here, we survive their bullies and won them physically and spiritually.

Shame on those fake pastors/prophets, its just a pity their followers will still not learn, most especially the flat headed people.

Congrats to all Batified who will join the queue with obidients and atikulators to look for fuel tomorrow. They will join in paying double price for transport and lagos will be most hit in that aspect

Am I saying subsidy removal is bad? No. I am just saying that aside those who have won the elections and those who will be given positions, the rest of us are the same, no matter the party u support. If tinubu government doesn't impact you positively then u are a loser

Congrats indeed. Warped mentality of fools

Dapson73:
If you like sit on gate instead of fence. Reality is already setting in. Right?
Asiwaju reward system will be top notch.
Keep your advise to Pandora, the man with missing manhood.

Jagaban is up to the task. Once again, congratulations to all Batified here, we survive their bullies and won them physically and spiritually.

Shame on those fake pastors/prophets, its just a pity their followers will still not learn, most especially the flat headed people.

You mean Tinubu suffering from Epilepsy?