Is it okay for a man to say he's not going to train his children in school, rather he will send them to government school with or without the school having the necessary things this kids need for learning. Since he trekked to school let them also trekk even if the distance is killing and the kids are 4 and 7 respectively.

This is someone that has a steady means of income but after hearing this I want to confront him,I have never intruded in any of my cousin sister marital issues but after getting too much complains from her I just feel this guy is just being wicked. I know what I have been through just last 2 months I have been sending money to her to support with the children needs,he doesn't do anything than bad mouth her, and when I call he doesn't pick, and when he does he doesn't comment on anything than she Is confused, what sort of person makes his children go through stress like this...if not God that is helping her sometimes, I don't know how how to go about it but I want her to come back to my aunt's house so we would see how to do it since he's barely helpful with anything Concerning this children. Is it good for a husband to own a property and his wife doesn't know about it, suffering his wife and kids starving them all in the name of nothing, only for her to find out through an outsider that's he is doing something... after confrontation he says she doesn't deserve to know,abeg it's so painful that she's isn't been recognized just because her kids are female... the man and his family can go to hell for all I care, nonsense mentality of some family I hope they are happy.

I just wanted to ask if this is enough basics to bring her home, because she probably doesn't have a future in that house,I know it's going to be hard for all of us, but I prefer we help her from here than there because the man is plain wicked, mind you after confrontation he almost choked her,I called him again and he was just laughing and saying things out point to what he did and cut the call. Is this enough Merit to take my cousin away please nairalanders, how do I do it with this man,my uncle Is late so is my dad...

I know I am not earning much but truth be told I have practically being the father to these kids,if not for cash she would have left since, now I saw a post about a nairalander that claimed that he wanted to tame his wife,that he paid money for her operation, ontop belle you give am, this is what instigated me to write this it's reminded me of my cousin sister.
Doesn't he know women fo through postpartum depression, some ask for sex barely after a week sef... Even if I don't have money I prefer giving my kids the best life I never had. I'm very bitter right now and I don't even know why some people can be so heartless towards people they claim to share a bond. Please give me your truest opinion I really appreciate.
Ahnie
BlissGod
Itiswell22

Your female cousin no get brothers? What are they saying?

Allow your female cousin make the decision of leaving the man. Don't instigate or talk her into leaving her marriage. She's an adult, she should be able to know what's good for her.

Just imagine the bitter evening newspapers you tagged at the end of your post to give you reasonable advices smh! you must be a legendary simp

What a sad story , I'm sure she was doing the understanding and not demanding girlfriend during courtship
That thing doesn't work, your man should care for your needs in relationship without being told before accepting to marry him so as to avoid this type of story, it shows his level of responsibility.
May God help your sister

Make we hear the man side of the story before we judge... because someone women are very fond of emotional blackmail or playing the victim card

bigdawg7:
Just imagine the bitter evening newspapers you tagged at the end of your post to give you reasonable advices smh! you must be a legendary simp

The way you people abuse the word simp is worrisome
A man cannot be responsible and caring on nairaland without being called simp
The truth is it's your likes living a ganja life that are quick to call responsible men simp

Epistle because it is your "cousin sister".
She should stay there and be submissive biko.

IconicR:
The way you people abuse the word simp is worrisome
A man cannot be responsible and caring on nairaland without being called simp
The truth is it's your likes living a ganja life that are quick to call responsible men simp

Marriage is created to be enjoyed but it's very sad how alot are enduring it.

Oh lord please let me marry my paradise once and for all.

No go scatter people home ooo. The best you can do is to invite the couples and then raise general topics to understand the husband's reasoning. That way, you can drop hints that could help.

Another is inviting the kids over for Christmas or raising the topic of their school. That said, you truly don't know his finances to justify his actions of putting his kids in public school. Therefore, please, thread wisely.

IconicR:
The way you people abuse the word simp is worrisome
A man cannot be responsible and caring on nairaland without being called simp
The truth is it's your likes living a ganja life that are quick to call responsible men simp

. Don't be surprised to know that such men are the real simp in real life.....

Buh be coming to Nairaland to be forming alpha males....

Lion for online..buh native fowl for real life.

It is well 😢

Direct answer to your topic:
If there’s no form of IPV (intimate partner violence), you shouldn’t take her with you.
Them no dey enter husband and wife matter carelessly. 🥱

Secondly, you stated you don’t earn so much yourself.
No go carry more than you can bear, otherwise both you and them could come crashing down.

This is someone that has a steady means of income

You may be overestimating his income.
This is from my personal experience as a civil servant of over a decade.

You just keep supporting in the ways you can, and look out for ways she can be empowered herself.

ItisWell22:
It is well 😢

Direct answer to your topic:
If there’s no form of IPV (intimate partner violence), you shouldn’t take her with you.
Them no dey enter husband and wife matter carelessly. 🥱

Secondly, you stated you don’t earn so much yourself.
No go carry more than you can bear, otherwise both you and them could come crashing down.

This is someone that has a steady means of income

You may be overestimating his income.
This is from my personal experience as a civil servant of over a decade.

You just keep supporting in the ways you can, and look out for ways she can be empowered herself.

okay sir

OKUCHI11:
Make we hear the man side of the story before we judge... because someone women are very fond of emotional blackmail or playing the victim card

he hardly say anything on the phone oh,he feels like he's doing her a favour,then later he would put it on number busy, only for him to start threatening her that nobody in this life can advise him because he knows what he's doing. How can a man leave the training of the children to his wife,school fees,heath bills everything highest he brings out is 1k and tells her he doesn't have,her tears are really tearing me apart I have asked her to record him talking so I would know the kind of person I am dealing with,gosh the words he was saying was so hurtful all because she has female kids, like they aren't kids what is now the expense of her stay there,he won't deny what he said but will say she's not wise it's her fault, this and that....is better she comes home maybe we can remove some things from one side of the house and give it for rent so there would be money to care for her, she's wasting her life there because whatever she earns is for the children and the last time I did video call with her she was looking so sick as well. Yes he does beat her and tries to choke her when they are asleep, this is the 4th time he's strangled her like that. But I will still be on the lookout for more suggestions on the comments section.

GboyegaD:
No go scatter people home ooo. The best you can do is to invite the couples and then raise general topics to understand the husband's reasoning. That way, you can drop hints that could help.

Another is inviting the kids over for Christmas or raising the topic of their school. That said, you truly don't know his finances to justify his actions of putting his kids in public school. Therefore, please, thread wisely.

he's earning much and just got promoted too all these he does behind her very wicked person, can you imagine she got to know about the promotion from an family member that called to congratulate, she just played along... See wetin the quest for man pikin dey do to people abi no problem

Jozilinn:
he hardly say anything on the phone oh,he feels like he's doing her a favour,then later he would put it on number busy, only for him to start threatening her that nobody in this life can advise him because he knows what he's doing. How can a man leave the training of the children to his wife,school fees,heath bills everything highest he brings out is 1k and tells her he doesn't have,her tears are really tearing me apart I have asked her to record him talking so I would know the kind of person I am dealing with,gosh the words he was saying was so hurtful all because she has female kids, like they aren't kids what is now the expense of her stay there,he won't deny what he said but will say she's not wise it's her fault, this and that....is better she comes home maybe we can remove some things from one side of the house and give it for rent so there would be money to care for her, she's wasting her life there because whatever she earns is for the children and the last time I did video call with her she was looking so sick as well. Yes he does beat her and tries to choke her when they are asleep, this is the 4th time he's strangled her like that. But I will still be on the lookout for more suggestions on the comments section.

If he is trying to strangle her then he is sick. Please help her escape that marriage. All she needs is empowerment.. if you are in Lagos,report him to the gender and domestic violence agency. Look it up on Google! I no want hear story o?

And she'd still there....tell her to Ferrara there.
Highest society go stimatize her for bn a SM,but at the long run her peace of mind go long pass river Niger.


Stop forcing yourself in an abusive union,we all have options.
But allow her to make the decision herself period so she nor go blame you tomorrow.

I saw one looking like mad woman this morning with unkept hair,looking like what a gods rejected clutching a lil baby and dem still dey beat you join.

I told her to go cut her hair,let's start from there,they cannot be beating you at home,still sleeping with you,leaving all the responsibilities with you.

I don't know where and how women meet these kinds of men they get married to; they are always entangled with either a SIMP or a demon
1. Get the bigger family involved, both yours and his own if he has any (I doubt he has).
2. Find out someone the husband respects, it could be in his place of work, worship, social club or neighborhood to intervene. ANY OUTSIDER YOU INVOLVE MUST BE SOMEONE HE RESPECTS, otherwise it will backfire.
3. Be more diplomatic and less confrontational in all your approach.
4. Some feminists are already suggesting the witchcraft approach whereby the man's business and sources of income will be destroyed, he himself becomes a stroke patient, and the wife will be empowered financially by these feminists to become the bread winner. Let the man and every other person you involve know that your "cousin sister" may be pushed to pursue this last option.

Jozilinn:
Is it okay for a man to say he's not going to train his children in school, rather he will send them to government school with or without the school having the necessary things this kids need for learning. Since he trekked to school let them also trekk even if the distance is killing and the kids are 4 and 7 respectively.

This is someone that has a steady means of income but after hearing this I want to confront him,I have never intruded in any of my cousin sister marital issues but after getting too much complains from her I just feel this guy is just being wicked. I know what I have been through just last 2 months I have been sending money to her to support with the children needs,he doesn't do anything than bad mouth her, and when I call he doesn't pick, and when he does he doesn't comment on anything than she Is confused, what sort of person makes his children go through stress like this...if not God that is helping her sometimes, I don't know how how to go about it but I want her to come back to my aunt's house so we would see how to do it since he's barely helpful with anything Concerning this children. Is it good for a husband to own a property and his wife doesn't know about it, suffering his wife and kids starving them all in the name of nothing, only for her to find out through an outsider that's he is doing something... after confrontation he says she doesn't deserve to know,abeg it's so painful that she's isn't been recognized just because her kids are female... the man and his family can go to hell for all I care, nonsense mentality of some family I hope they are happy.

I just wanted to ask if this is enough basics to bring her home, because she probably doesn't have a future in that house,I know it's going to be hard for all of us, but I prefer we help her from here than there because the man is plain wicked, mind you after confrontation he almost choked her,I called him again and he was just laughing and saying things out point to what he did and cut the call. Is this enough Merit to take my cousin away please nairalanders, how do I do it with this man,my uncle Is late so is my dad...

I know I am not earning much but truth be told I have practically being the father to these kids,if not for cash she would have left since, now I saw a post about a nairalander that claimed that he wanted to tame his wife,that he paid money for her operation, ontop belle you give am, this is what instigated me to write this it's reminded me of my cousin sister.
Doesn't he know women fo through postpartum depression, some ask for sex barely after a week sef... Even if I don't have money I prefer giving my kids the best life I never had. I'm very bitter right now and I don't even know why some people can be so heartless towards people they claim to share a bond. Please give me your truest opinion I really appreciate.

Feminism and socialism go hand in hand.
Just like in the 10s and 20s of 1900, we now see a resurgence of socialism (Biden for example, printing money the US doesn't have).
The goal is to destroy family, because family is a strong unit. Humans can be very strong IF they have the support of a healthy family. Take that away and you can easily manipulate and control them.
That's why governments gladly help women to become totally privileged and for men to be broken down and brainwashed. It will hurt the country and the government economically, but I guess they either ignore that or have some plan for after the big crash

WiszyFraud:
Did you know??
Kenya’s Supreme Court ended the 50/50 sharing formula of properties by divorced couples.
Divorced people will only take what each person owns now.
👍

Jozilinn:
he's earning much and just got promoted too all these he does behind her very wicked person, can you imagine she got to know about the promotion from an family member that called to congratulate, she just played along... See wetin the quest for man pikin dey do to people abi no problem

She should be able to handle her marriage. He's acting that way because she's allowing him to. Sometimes, give your advice to the person who reported and let the person take necessary actions. You can advice her to suggest the need to visit counselors to him.

Jozilinn:
he hardly say anything on the phone oh,he feels like he's doing her a favour,then later he would put it on number busy, only for him to start threatening her that nobody in this life can advise him because he knows what he's doing. How can a man leave the training of the children to his wife,school fees,heath bills everything highest he brings out is 1k and tells her he doesn't have,her tears are really tearing me apart I have asked her to record him talking so I would know the kind of person I am dealing with,gosh the words he was saying was so hurtful all because she has female kids, like they aren't kids what is now the expense of her stay there,he won't deny what he said but will say she's not wise it's her fault, this and that....is better she comes home maybe we can remove some things from one side of the house and give it for rent so there would be money to care for her, she's wasting her life there because whatever she earns is for the children and the last time I did video call with her she was looking so sick as well. Yes he does beat her and tries to choke her when they are asleep, this is the 4th time he's strangled her like that. But I will still be on the lookout for more suggestions on the comments section.

If the bolded is true, remove her from that house to avoid “had I known”. God forbid something bad happens to her, you will not forgive yourself because you knew the situation and you didn’t do anything about it.

Ideally, she should be the one to remove herself but since she is still there, you fit help her condition.

Jozilinn:
Is it okay for a man to say he's not going to train his children in school, rather he will send them to government school with or without the school having the necessary things this kids need for learning. Since he trekked to school let them also trekk even if the distance is killing and the kids are 4 and 7 respectively.
[b]This is someone that has a steady means of income but after hearing this I want to confront him,I have never intruded in any of my cousin sister marital issues but after getting too much complains from her I just feel this guy is just being wicked. I know what I have been through just last 2 months I have been sending money to her to support with the children needs,he doesn't do anything than bad mouth her, and when I call he doesn't pick, and when he does he doesn't comment on anything than she Is confused, what sort of person makes his children go through stress like this...if not God that is helping her sometimes, I don't know how how to go about it but I want her to come back to my aunt's house so we would see how to do it since he's barely helpful with anything Concerning this children. Is it good for a husband to own a property and his wife doesn't know about it, suffering his wife and kids starving them all in the name of nothing, only for her to find out through an outsider that's he is doing something... after confrontation he says she doesn't deserve to know,abeg it's so painful that she's isn't been recognized just because her kids are female... the man and his family can go to hell for all I care, nonsense mentality of some family I hope they are happy.[/b]
I just wanted to ask if this is enough basics to bring her home, because she probably doesn't have a future in that house,I know it's going to be hard for all of us, but I prefer we help her from here than there because the man is plain wicked, mind you after confrontation he almost choked her,I called him again and he was just laughing and saying things out point to what he did and cut the call. Is this enough Merit to take my cousin away please nairalanders, how do I do it with this man,my uncle Is late so is my dad...
I know I am not earning much but truth be told I have practically being the father to these kids,if not for cash she would have left since, now I saw a post about a nairalander that claimed that he wanted to tame his wife,that he paid money for her operation, ontop belle you give am, this is what instigated me to write this it's reminded me of my cousin sister.
Doesn't he know women fo through postpartum depression, some ask for sex barely after a week sef... Even if I don't have money I prefer giving my kids the best life I never had. I'm very bitter right now and I don't even know why some people can be so heartless towards people they claim to share a bond. Please give me your truest opinion I really appreciate.

Why is your sister still married to a man who doesn't regard her but also has no regard for her four kids? Those kids are innocent souls but he has chosen to abandon them even in his own house. So what is your sister waiting for? I know we like to blame the men but your sister is not innocent in this as she is also a parent and hence equally responsible for the emotional and material welfare of her own brood. SInce her husband has chosen to reject them, what is she still doing with him?

Jozilinn:
■ he hardly say anything on the phone oh,he feels like he's doing her a favour,then later he would put it on number busy, only for him to start threatening her that nobody in this life can advise him because he knows what he's doing. How can a man leave the training of the children to his wife,school fees,heath bills everything highest he brings out is 1k and tells her he doesn't have,her tears are really tearing me apart I have asked her to record him talking so I would know the kind of person I am dealing with,gosh the words he was saying was so hurtful all because she has female kids, like they aren't kids what is now the expense of her stay there,he won't deny what he said but will say she's not wise it's her fault, this and that....is better she comes home maybe we can remove some things from one side of the house and give it for rent so there would be money to care for her, she's wasting her life there because whatever she earns is for the children and the last time I did video call with her she was looking so sick as well. Yes he does beat her and tries to choke her when they are asleep, this is the 4th time he's strangled her like that. But I will still be on the lookout for more suggestions on the comments section.

Why is your cousin still hanging on to a man who has no regard for her as a human being and has rejected the children she labored to have for him? What is she waiting for? For him to kill her or maim her before she gets a clue that she needs to leave him?

OP, why are you the one doing the thinking for your sister? Is she an imbe-cile for her to not have realized the writing that has been on the wall as regards her relationship and life all this time? Whose permission is she waiting for to get her act together before she destroys the minds of her kids for life?

Money is good to have but she needs to have her own too and right now she is playing wife to a man who does not appreciate her when she ought to be making money to fend for her kids.

Kobojunkie:
Why is your cousin still hanging on to a man who has no regard for her as a human being and has rejected the children she labored to have for him? What is she waiting for? For him to kill her or maim her before she gets a clue that she needs to leave him?

OP, why are you the one doing the thinking for your sister? Is she an imbe-cile for her to not have realized the writing that has been on the wall as regards her relationship and life all this time? Whose permission is she waiting for to get her act together before she destroys the minds of her kids for life?

Money is good to have but she needs to have her own too and right now she is playing wife to a man who does not appreciate her when she ought to be making money to fend for her kids.

E tire me sef oh,na now e clear for am, endurance cannot hold anymore,he even told her that is what she is ment to do "endure" because he knows best. Na now e clear for my aunt sef because she has also tried to reach out to him no way,so I guess this is the final one she is definitely leaving him.

GboyegaD:


She should be able to handle her marriage. He's acting that way because she's allowing him to. Sometimes, give your advice to the person who reported and let the person take necessary actions. You can advice her to suggest the need to visit counselors to him.

Wow you think even a counselor can advise someone who doesn't want anyone advice than his,do you know how many times she has asked for people to sort them out, only for him to say no that's she is to be submissive to him and what he wants she does period. How can you advise that one

mrrandomguy:
I don't know where and how women meet these kinds of men they get married to; they are always entangled with either a SIMP or a demon
1. Get the bigger family involved, both yours and his own if he has any (I doubt he has).
2. Find out someone the husband respects, it could be in his place of work, worship, social club or neighborhood to intervene. ANY OUTSIDER YOU INVOLVE MUST BE SOMEONE HE RESPECTS, otherwise it will backfire.
3. Be more diplomatic and less confrontational in all your approach.
4. Some feminists are already suggesting the witchcraft approach whereby the man's business and sources of income will be destroyed, he himself becomes a stroke patient, and the wife will be empowered financially by these feminists to become the bread winner. Let the man and every other person you involve know that your "cousin sister" may be pushed to pursue this last option.

Feminism and socialism go hand in hand.
Just like in the 10s and 20s of 1900, we now see a resurgence of socialism (Biden for example, printing money the US doesn't have).
The goal is to destroy family, because family is a strong unit. Humans can be very strong IF they have the support of a healthy family. Take that away and you can easily manipulate and control them.
That's why governments gladly help women to become totally privileged and for men to be broken down and brainwashed. It will hurt the country and the government economically, but I guess they either ignore that or have some plan for after the big crash

thank you for your input I really appreciate

ceeceeuwa:

If he is trying to strangle her then he is sick. Please help her escape that marriage. All she needs is empowerment.. if you are in Lagos,report him to the gender and domestic violence agency. Look it up on Google! I no want hear story o?

okay thank you so much for your input I really appreciate you and everyone else that is commenting.

Allow her make the decision herself.she may even pack and go back to him in no distant time and accuse you of breaking her home.

I know what m saying....I have seen this played out repeatedly.

Jozilinn:
E tire me sef oh,na now e clear for am, endurance cannot hold anymore,he even told her that is what she is ment to do "endure" because he knows best. Na now e clear for my aunt sef because she has also tried to reach out to him no way,so I guess this is the final one she is definitely leaving him.

She needs to realize and see it for herself that at this point, she is the one forcing herself on the man and marriage to him, and this at the detriment of her own kids and her own life. If she ends up in a body bag tomorrow like Osinachi for example, what will be the story of her life? What will be written on her grave stone, assuming her children will be able to put one there for her then? Ask her that.

Kobojunkie:
She needs to realize and see it for herself that at this point, she is the one forcing herself on the man and marriage to him, and this at the detriment of her own kids and her own life. If she ends up in a body bag tomorrow like Osinachi for example, what will be the story of her life? What will be written on her grave stone, assuming her children will be able to put one there for her then? Ask her that.

thanks a lot I will really talk to her

Jozilinn:
thanks a lot I will really talk to her

As a way to get her even more convinced, tell her to sign on to Nairaland to tell her story anonymously so people can help her see how silly she has been. Of course, there will be those to insult her and maybe even side with her husband, but maybe one person's story will touch her enough to cause her to see what she is doing is wrong and unacceptable to her own self.

Try and talk sense into her to see if she'll leave